Harry's POV
Monday. I hate Mondays. They come every week, so really, I shouln't be complaining this much, but Mondays suck. They always have sucked, and they probably always will. The weekend was wonderful. I spent most of my time with Louis. It was great.
But Monday had to come around and ruin everything. Like it always did.
But this Monday was different. It was my birthday. Of course my birthday landed on a Monday. I should be excited, like any normal person would be on their birthday. But no, I was not even close to excited. I was turning 17 in my senior year. That wasn't normal. But I'm not normal anyway. I didn't like telling people it was my birthday, because then they'd ask my age, and then they'd think of me as a child.
The weather was still cold, still dreary. I wrapped myself in a coat and scarf, grabbed my keys, and left for school. Of course I had to open my car door 3 times, start the engine 3 times, and for good measure, close the door 4 times.
Louis hadn't texted me anything birthday related yet, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he forgot. I'd only mentioned it once, and I had no plans to throw a huge party like he had. I still had too many bad memories floating around from that party. I parked my car in my usual spot, and got out, to see Louis standing there. He had his hands behind his back, and was shivering, his eyes on the frosty ground. I chuckled and trotted over to him.
"What are you doing out here? It's freezing!" Louis looked up when he heard my voice, and a smile immediately spread across his face.
"You're worth it," he said. To my surprise, he pulled out a red rose from behind his back and held it out to me.
"Happy birthday!" he cheered. My mouth was gaped open, out of shock mostly. I took the rose from his hand and wrapped my arms around him, our bodies warming each other from the cold air around us.
"Thank you," I whispered sincerely. How could anyone be so sweet?
"I love you," he muttered back, hugging me tighter. I relaxed into him, breathing in his scent.
"I love you too."
We pulled apart, and I immediately missed his warmth. Lifting the flower to my nose, I inhaled the sweet fragrance. I looked up at Louis. He smiled at me, and leaned in to press his lips against mine. I didn't even care if anyone saw. Louis made me feel safe, protected. He let me kiss him 3 more times, without any complaint, not that he ever complained.
Taking my hand in his, we walked to first period. Maybe this birthday will be different. Maybe it will be alright.
*
When lunch rolled by, so far the only one who had recognized my birthday was Louis. I walked in alone to the library, hands tucked in my pockets, eyes on the floor. I heard commotion as I got closer to our table. Liam had his feet on the table, throwing and catching a ball in the air. Zayn and Niall were laughing and talking with each other, siting very close to each other. Like, really close. Louis was on his phone in his usual seat, probably reading. I sat down without making myself noticed. Louis looked up and smiled at me.
"Hey!" he said, setting down his phone. The rest of the group looked up, and all of them smiled.
"Happy birthday!" Niall cheered. I looked over at him with curiosity.
"Yeah, mate, happy birthday!" said Liam, patting me on the back.
"Yeah," joined in Zayn. He was smiling, not in the sinister way, in the warm, sweet way.
My heart was suddenly filled with warmth.
"So, what do you plan on doing for your party?" asked Niall.
"Uh... nothing, actually," I said, twiddling my thumbs.
"C'mon mate, you have to do something," piped Liam.
"Yeah, it doesn't have to be big. Maybe we could just all hang out at my house?" suggested Louis. The others voiced their approval of the proposal. I stayed quiet, thinking it through. It didn't sound like a bad idea at all really.
"Um, okay? I guess, if you want..." I said, unsure. Louis took my hand and squeezed it gently.
"Positive."
This birthday was really turning out to be pretty alright.
*
Therapy was no use to me, really. It gave me more stress, made me more anxious, and provoked every kind of mental problem I was trying to demolish, which was the opposite of what it was supposed to do. Thankfully, this was my last day. 2 full months of this torture, and it was finally over. Anytime the tall women would ask me something personal, I'd lie. I always lied.
"Have you self-harmed again?"
"No"
"Do you still feel depressed?"
"No"
"Are you happy with yourself?"
"Yes"
"Have the voices stopped?"
Yes."
All lies. I was getting better, but I wasn't better yet. All she wanted to do was dive into my brain, expose me like a nerve. I didn't want her to. I hated her.
Anytime I'd bring therapy up with Louis, he'd say the same thing.
"It's what's best for you."
So I kept my mouth shut and suffered under the watch of her beady eyes.
Today, however, it wasn't so awful. She set her clipboard down. She didn't try to stop me when I began rearranging the magazines on the counter in front of me. She let me open and close the door as many times as I needed, probably because it was my last day.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Good," I answered simply, leaning back against the chair.
"Good," she responded. She didn't scribble something down like she usually did. She just looked at me.
"This is our last session," she stated.
"I know," I said. It was awkward. There was nothing in the air but silence, the only noise being the distant clock.
"That clock always annoyed me," she said, laughing slightly. I raised an eyebrow, and she gestured to my hand. I had been unconsciously tapping to the beat of the clock.
"You aren't magically cured from your OCD, Harry, but I do think you're getting better." I nodded. She was right. Louis helped.
Veronica reached into a plastic bag that was beside her chair and pulled out a small notebook. It had a brown leather cover-the ugly color that matched the chairs-with white lined paper inside. She handed it to me.
"I want you to keep a journal. I do this with all my patients after they are done seeing me. Write in that journal anything you would share with me if we were to continue our sessions," she said this all with a huge smile plastered on her face. I nodded, flipping through the empty pages. It was a nice journal.
When the hour was up, I said goodbye (skipping over the "thank you" hug that most patients give her... for obvious reasons) and I left, happy to be free from the daily torture of therapy.
*
Louis's POV
Friday flew around in a blink of an eye. We scheduled this day as Harry's little mini-party. Everyone was supposed to be around by 6, except Harry, who had come home with me straight from school. We were supposed to be decorating the room, making it look festive, but instead we were on my bed, lips locked and bodies tangled.
"You're so hot," I whispered to Harry, biting his ear playfully. Harry giggled cutely beneath me, pressing his lips against mine again. He had his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me forward and moaning deeply. I flicked my tongue over his lips lightly, making him shudder. His hands felt for my shirt, and he slowly started to pull it over my head.
"Harry," I panted and he pulled the shirt over my head. "As much as I love this, people are going to start showing up in like, 15 minutes, and I don't want to be a mess when they do," I said, getting off of Harry a little. Harry frowned, giving me his best puppy dog eyes.
"But..." Harry trailed off, and I kissed him one last time.
I got off my bed, pulling on my grey T-shirt as I went. Harry followed, and we got to work on decorating.
Liam and his girlfriend, Sophia, were the first to arrive. They had smiles on their faces as they entered the large house. I led them to my room, where Harry was.
"This is a really big house," Sophia said in awe. I laughed and Harry nodded. Harry and I didn't really 'decorate'. It was just some snacks and a few streamers, because, well, we got lazy (and Harry's lips were very distracting).
Niall and Zayn arrived next (together, of course). Zayn was wearing a black sweater, opposed to his normal letterman jacket. He was also smiling brightly. I was beginning to truly trust him.
"Let's get this party started!"
The 6 of us laughed and joked around, played music and obnoxiously sang to cheesy pop songs for most of the night. Zayn and Liam joked around about how we should start a boy band, which of course would be a terrible idea. We somehow all ended up on the floor. Harry was laying down with his head on my lap. Niall had his head on Zayn's shoulder, and Sophia had her feet on Liam's lap, her head on the floor.
"Hey Zayn, what happed with you and Perrie?" asked Liam once conversation had died down.
Zayn suddenly looked really uncomfortable. "Uh, well... I was kind of in love with someone else while we were dating," I swear I saw his eyes flicker over to Harry, but ignored it, "But now I actually like someone else. So, yeah, we broke up," Zayn finished, clearing his throat.
"Oh, sorry mate. So, who's the lucky lady you fancy?" Liam questioned again. Zayn's face was bright pink.
"Uh, I, well... it's not, she, uh I mean, she isn't really a... she."
Silence.
Liam raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, uh, sorry... I didn't know, or realize that you... like... dudes?" Liam was obviously very confused.
"I like girls too, though. So, uh, I guess that's it right there. I'm Bi," said Zayn, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
The room was suddenly very quiet.
"Yay for you, man!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, totally still love you bro," added Liam.
"Obviously fine with me," Said Harry, looking up at me with a smile.
"Yeah and well, I'm your gay boyfriend, so I don't mind, obviously," Niall chirped.
Again, silence.
"Oh my god, really? You two are dating? Cute!" Squealed Sophia, making us all laugh.
"Yeah, uh, we've been together for about 2 months now," stated Niall, looking at Zayn with a smile. Zayn leaned down to lightly peck Niall's lips.
"Awww!" Murmured Harry.
"That's so sweet," commented Sophia.
I was really starting to like Zayn, and my trust for Niall was coming back.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and games, and everyone seemed to have a good time. It was great. It was perfect.
*
Harry's POV
I flipped through the pages of the journal slowly, letting my fingers trace over the leather cover. When Veronica had given it to me, I didn't actually want to write in it. I never even told her my feelings, so why would I tell it to this stupid notebook.
But I was so happy. Everything was perfect in my life. I had an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends, and I was able to live with myself. I hadn't picked up a blade in weeks, and I didn't even feel the need to. I was okay.
So I lifted a pen to the first sheet of paper, and I began to write. I scribbled down everything that had happened today, in detail. I wrote down how on Monday I thought no one would remember, and how wrong I was. I wrote down about how much I cared about Louis, how much I adored him. I wrote down every good thing in my life.
It took up a total of 5 pages-front and back. I clicked the pen (4 times) and set the journal down, smiling.
Everything was okay.
*
A/N
Hey lovies. So, uh, yeah, this chapter was shitty and kinda short, but heeere ya go.
and...
There's only one more chapter left of this *ahem*