Violet's P.O.V.
I fumbled with my keys, finally tugging them out of my purse and unlocking the apartment door. Ethan and Hailey were lying on the couch watching a movie. I walked in quietly, dropping my purse and two boxes of pizza onto the coffee table. "Dinner's here!" I sang.
Hailey paused the movie, sitting upright. "Hey, Vi."
Ethan turned to look at me and smiled. "How was therapy?"
"Good." I replied. "He thinks I'm ready to change my visits to once a month."
"That's great!" Hailey smiled.
It has almost been three months since Ashton left. I vowed to make changes that night that Charlie came by and I stuck to it. One of those changes was going to therapy once a week to better understand myself and learn how to handle situations properly, instead of letting my emotions control everything. Ethan thought it was a good idea, but Travis was a little skeptical when I told him. He came around to it eventually when he started seeing changes in me.
"You guys want a drink?" I asked, walking to the refrigerator.
"I'll take a soda." Hailey responded.
"Beer, please." Ethan said.
I grabbed two sodas and a beer for Ethan and walked back to the living area, sitting on the loveseat beside the couch. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol since Ashton left, either. It always seemed to fuel the fire that consisted of my bad decisions so I cut it out of my life completely, like I had for so many years before I met Ashton.
I haven't spoken to Charlie since that night three months ago, but I didn't have any hard feelings towards him. I wasn't going to any parties, choosing to spend my time with Ethan and Hailey, Travis and his girlfriend Britt, or a new friend I had met at the gym a couple of months ago named Jordan. We usually spent our time shopping, having movie nights, or of course, going to the gym together. She wasn't the type to party so any time we would hang out, it was always low key.
"We're going over to a friend of ours later tonight. Do you want to come with us?" Ethan asked, taking a bite of his pizza.
"She has a friend that's really good looking. His name is Jared. Maybe I can introduce you?" Hailey teased.
I shook my head, laughing lightly. "Sounds tempting, but I think I'm going to just hang out here tonight."
Dating was something else I had been avoiding. As much as I wanted to say it's because I'm in such a good place being single and independent that I don't want a man, it's mostly just because I still miss Ashton. Don't get me wrong, I've been doing great. I'm happy with my life and I finally feel like I know who I am and what I want, but I just don't feel like moving on yet. Part of it may be because I'm scared I'll lose myself in a relationship again.
"Suit yourself." Ethan shrugged.
Once we finished eating, Ethan and Hailey left, leaving me to my night of ice cream and Netflix.
~*~
Ashton's P.O.V.
One week. In one week we would be home. There were no more tours currently scheduled so we would finally be back in L.A. for more than a couple of months. I couldn't wait.We were currently sitting at a pub in Scotland and I had just downed my fourth shot when Michael reached over, grasping my shoulder.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" He asked.
I shook my head as the bartender poured another one.
"Come on, dude. You've been drinking a lot. I think you need to call your therapist." Luke said softly.
This is how it had been almost every night. We played, drank, went back to the hotel. I drank more than the others most nights. I always came in hours after them, stumbling in completely wasted. I would talk to girls and dance with them, all these beautiful foreign women, but for some reason I never brought them back to my room. I just didn't care. Until I saw her.
She sat down beside me at the bar, crossing her legs. Her dress slid up her legs, showing more than necessary. She had long, jet black hair and bright green eyes.
"You're staring." She smirked.
"Sorry." I mumbled, snapping out of my trance. "Can I get you a drink?"
She nodded, telling the bartender what she wanted. We sat there, talking and drinking, my back turned to the other guys, until she finally stopped me.
"You don't have to do this." She said.
"Do what?" I asked.
"Work so hard. Where are you staying?" She asked, cutting right to the chase.
I stared at her, a little surprised by her bluntness. Even for me, that was a little forward. I usually at least spent more than ten minutes with someone before taking them to my room, but I was drunk and she was hot.
Before I knew it, we were back at the hotel and I was on top of her. We were just kissing when she shoved me over, climbing on top of me and pulling her dress over her head. She immediately started tugging at my shirt. She was extremely aggressive and too easy and I didn't like it.
"Can you just--" I started, but she cut me off, shoving her tongue down my throat.
I grabbed her by her arms, pushing her back gently.
"What?" She snapped.
I just looked at her. She had a bad attitude and was so forceful, I felt like she was trying to get what she wanted as fast as possible so she could leave. I didn't like it, and I didn't like the way it made me feel. I sound like such a girl, but I felt used. I guess I deserve it after all the women I've used myself. Violet never made me feel used. I had to work for her. This was too easy.
And there it was. Violet. The weight of every emotion I was bearing came crashing down as this stranger on top of me was trying to remove my jeans and I grabbed her wrists, stopping her.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She spat.
"Get out." I deadpanned.
"Excuse me?" The look on her face was pure shock. She had never been rejected.
"You heard me. Get. The fvck. Out. NOW." I said angrily.
She climbed off of me in a huff, pulling her dress back on and stomping out the door, slamming it behind her.
I laid on the bed for about 10 minutes before I heard the door open and close softly, three voices speaking quietly. They stopped talking and there was no noise for a moment before someone spoke up.
"Ash?" Michael called.
"Yeah." I responded, completely monotone.
The door creaked open and his head peered in. "Where's that chick?"
"I kicked her out."
"Oh yeah?" He asked, pushing the door open further, Calum and Luke standing behind him in the doorway.
"She got on my nerves." I said flatly.
"How? It's not like you're supposed to be doing much talking." Calum snickered.
"She was acting like I was a piece of fvcking meat. She was trying to control everything." I said, aggravated at the thought of her. "And she was too fvcking easy."
Luke looked down at the floor, trying to hide a smile.
"Thought you liked it rough." Calum teased. "And easy."
"Violet had more self respect than that." I mumbled, without realizing I had said it out loud.
Calum and Michael exchanged looks and Luke was still staring at the floor, smiling.
"Is that what all this is about? Violet?" Michael asked.
"I don't know. I'm wasted." I slurred, trying to cover up what I just said.
"Okay...why don't you get some sleep then?" He replied.
I nodded and they left the room, telling me they'd see me tomorrow. Once it was quiet and I was pretty sure everyone went to bed, I rolled over towards the nightstand and picked up my phone, scrolling through the contacts. I hit call before I could think twice about it, holding the phone up to my ear. It rang three times before finally picking up, a pause on the other end that felt like it lasted hours before I finally heard the voice I had been craving to listen to.
Hello?
"Violet."
Yeah?
"It's me. Ashton."
I know. I have caller ID, Ash.
I felt like an idiot. "Right, yeah."
I heard her take a breath before asking What's up?
"I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you a lot." I blurted out.
She sighed.Are you drunk?
"Is it relevant?" I asked.
Kind of. Would you tell me that sober? She replied.
"No but I wanted to. All the time." I admitted. "I was just scared."
She hesitated before asking Of what?
"That you would say you don't miss me." She didn't respond so I continued. "Do you miss me?"
What time is it there? Shouldn't you be asleep? She asked, ignoring my question.
"I asked you a question. Do you miss me?" I pressed.
There was a long silence, then she answered so softly I barely heard it. Yeah.
That was all I needed to let her know how I felt. "I still lov--"
Ashton! She interrupted. Stop. You're drunk. Don't--Don't do this to me.
Her voice was weak and it sounded like she was crying. It made me sad. I didn't want to make her feel like that. "But I--"
No. Just...I'm going to hang up now. If you want to talk to me, do it when you're sober. Okay?
I sighed loudly. "Okay. But Violet?"
Yeah?
"I love you."
~*~
I woke up the next morning to someone knocking on my door. When I didn't respond to it, it eventually burst open, Luke coming through it and pulling my curtains open. I groaned, covering my face with the bed sheet.
"Rise and shine." He said loudly. "Get up."
"No. I feel like sh!t." I whined.
"And who's fault is that?" Luke shot back. "Here, take this."
I peeked over the covers to see Luke holding out my cell phone, the number to my therapist already dialed in, waiting for me to hit call.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"It's been months since you've talked to your therapist and after last night, I think you need to." He said sternly.
"Why? Because I didn't want to bang that chick? I already told you, she was annoyi--"
"No." Luke cut in, "I know you called Violet. I heard you."
"You were eavesdropping?" I asked, pissed that he would listen to my conversations like that.
"No, Ash. You're loud when you're drunk and my room is right next to yours. I definitely preferred hearing the phone call over sex noises though, so thanks for that." He said, rolling his eyes.
"So I drunk dialed an ex, who hasn't?" I shrugged.
"Dude, have you seen yourself the last few months? You've been drunk every time we aren't on stage and it's getting out of hand. I'm worried, we all are. We're afraid you're going to start...doing what you used to do."
I didn't reply, just looked away and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew what he meant. It was something we didn't like to talk about. I wanted to leave self-harm in the past.
"Now take this, call him." He shoved the phone into my hand, hitting the call button and quickly leaving the room. I sighed, defeated, and held the phone up to my ear as it rang.
Hello?
"Hey, Doc." I said quietly.
Ashton. It's been a while. How are you?
"I've...been better."
Well,I'm glad to hear from you. Tell me what's going on.
Double update! Neither of these chapters are as long as usual, so I decided to do two in a day! Hope you didn't mind the time jump! xo