Chapter 23: Facade
The next morning couldn't come soon enough. And when it did, I was ready. Ready for Audra to wake up. Ready for her to try and pounce on me again.
All night, we had been playing this game of running away. All night, I had tried to successfully avoid her, which was not the easiest of tasks since she wanted to do 'stuff' I wanted to do as well. It was mortifying.
By the time she fell asleep, I was so drained myself that I couldn't stand up, so I just positioned myself across the corner and stared at the walls.
Now, before dawn, she was just stirring to wakefulness.
Her eyes— I could see, blinking into the semi-darkness.
My stomach made a back dive when she looked at me. "Pax?"
"Y-yeah?"
For a heartbeat of a second, none of us spoke. She was just staring at me with this incomprehensible look on her face, both hands tied duly to each other behind her back, her top and jeans strewn across the floor.
"What?" she whispered. "What had I done?"
I balked. "Don't you remember?"
Another silence. Another flutter in my stomach. And then she was getting up, and I knew she was back to normal. "Did you and I?" she trailed.
"No," I said, noticing the crack in her voice. "No." I repeated again, just to be sure she heard me.
A turbulence seemed to cross on her face, followed by such a poker one that permanently settled like a mask. I might have mistook the first one.
"Well then." She cleared her throat, straightened her shoulders. But didn't otherwise claim that I'd touch her, or had even done anything inappropriate while she was otherwise out of control.
I released the breath I'd been holding, but at the same time, a sharp, pointed pole seemed to impale in my throat. I knew I could never have her that way. Not willingly, or ever in our lives. And knowing that kind of unnerved me. More than anything else.
Audra started going to her clothes, muttering while she was at it. "It was the sage. . ."
"I know."
Her head turned to me, her eyes seemingly wanting to say something more. But then she didn't. She continued getting her clothes from the floor, then started working on the shoelaces I tied on her, while I myself, just glanced at my shoes, wanting to give her space.
A few minutes more, and she was sitting right beside me, fully clothed, exhaling a bit loudly, face turned towards the ceiling.
"I messed up. Big time," she murmured.
No. No, she didn't. And she should have known better.
Here she was; a victim of Dante's fudged up ways. And she was telling me that she had messed up, when in reality, the world owed her an apology. Especially me, for being lead on as well.
"Thank you," she said, all of a sudden. Like she didn't want to think too much about it, but at the same time she needed to. "I know I could never repay you for protecting me, Pax. For protecting me against me. So. . . Anything you want, I'm willing to give."
I scowled. Nothing. There was nothing more that I wanted more than her.
You. I wanted to scream. I want you, Audra.
I wanted to kiss her for real. Not the robbed first kiss that we had. I wanted to run my fingers down her hair while telling her it was okay. That I would never hurt her.
Somewhere along the way, I had fallen head-over-heels in love with her. But with everything that we had experienced, and everything that I'd done, for me to profess that now was a big, big joke. There was a time for everything, and this wasn't it.
As if sensing that, Audra tensed, lifted her head, looked accusingly at me for some reason.
"Why hadn't you left?" she asked. "You could have slipped out of here last night. That was so irresponsible of you."
Really, now?
"I won't leave you." I muttered. "And last night you were in no condition to go."
Audra shook her head, was now rising on her feet again. "But still. . . I told you, didn't I? You should have left. Now we're both trapped in here."
She was right about the trapped part, but why did she keep insisting every time for me to save my hide? To leave her like this?
Audra, looking at me, shrugged her shoulders as if it all made sense, but then said nothing in her defense. She was a hard puzzle to crack.
Another second, and she was going to the door. "Is it locked?" she asked. "Is that why you couldn't leave?"
"Yes." And no.
She peeked between the crack of the door and the wall, afterwards bumping her fist on the wood. "Damn it. There are guards out there," she said. "A lot of them sleeping."
I knew that. I also knew that those people had tried to listen to us last night. To check if there were any titillating developments, so to speak. I could see them trying to peek and spy on us, but it was too dark on our side. They had more or less given up.
Audra turned around, a challenge in her eyes. "I can fight all of them, you know?"
"No."
"But you can leave afterwards—"
"No."
Her eyebrows knitted together. "I can protect you, Pax. I can."
I didn't doubt that. Not for a second. She had always been tough. Even at school. But I didn't encourage her either. Instead, I gave her a long, hard look. We couldn't just get out of here just by using force.
"So what do you propose we do?" she asked after a while.
My eyebrows knitted together as well. I had been thinking about this for quite some time. The only thing I could do, to be honest, so as not dwell on impure thoughts about her the whole night. Seeing her like that affected me in a number of ways.
"I came up with something," I said, "but I don't know if you'll like the answer."
Curious, she came back to me, took a seat. Afterwards, inhaled so deeply, I thought her chest would break. "I'm game if you're game," she said.
The thing about people in Conduit was they loved to party. They loved to celebrate even the smallest of things, so I knew what was coming that very same night. I was mentally preparing myself for it.
Audra, wherever she was, could have been doing the same. I sure hoped so. That was why, when someone came to get me that evening, I could finally put on the biggest smile. This could be the lie of the century. I had to do my best.
Dante, suited in his everyday clothes, went through the door. "Ready, little one?" he said.
This wasn't the first time he'd entered the hut today, of course. He had greeted me first thing this morning, saying, "How did it go? Wait, don't tell me. I know you enjoyed your time with Audra. As anyone in your position would."
And me, being the ever aspiring little liar simply nodded, to which a smile splayed on his face. For a victory he thought he'd given us both.
"Yeah?" Dante said. "I knew you'd come around, Pax. Most people we chose from outside did. I found that if you give people what they wanted, they rarely ever leave."
So that was how they kept people so ready to defend this place here, I thought. Give them someone to rape. Or hurt. Or manipulate. Either way, two more people entered the hut afterwards— Mart and the sumo wrestler of a guard. An unlikely combination.
One of them, clapping Dante's back, saying. "I'm glad your decision was right."
And the other one— Mart, simply looking at me then and Audra, who was pretending to sleep on the bed at that time. Mart's lips curving into a frown.
Either way, both the newcomers took Audra from the bed eventually. Both of them carried her from the hut. Meanwhile, Dante was the one who gave me the instructions, as I knew that he would.
"There will be another feast tonight," he said. "Be at your best."
And just like that, the three of them left. As for me, I had a ton of preparations. It was tonight or never.
Come dusk, when the room was more or less purple and chilly, someone knocked on the hut, even while I had expected whoever it was to barge right in like all those other times.
What was of an even greater surprise was the fact that it was Mart again. Sullen, like usual, though with an edge on her expression. She quickly went to me, saying.
"This is Betty's hut, Pax. What are you doing here?"
"Betty?" I asked.
"My friend."
But the way she said it told me a different story. Either way, she was almost as good as Audra in keeping things. Almost as good as me, as she took a deep breath and said, "I don't want you here."
"Neither do I."
The girl with the knife-like eyes went on to stab me with her gaze. "Then leave!" she hissed.
"You know I can't."
She really should know better. And why was she pretending that she didn't know what was going on here? She was one of them. If I didn't have so much to worry about, I would have loved to slap that information on her face. Too bad, I had things to do.
So I side-stepped Mart, much to her dismay. "This is Betty's house!" she yelled.
"Pax. . . Are you ready, little one?" Dante chose that time to enter through the door. Looked between me and Mart. Immediately, he knew that something was wrong. Sighing, he said. "Mart. . . Betty is dead. Let her soul rest."
At this, Mart gave me a glare, as if it was all my fault. Then rushed out the door like the world was set aflame.
Dante, who was the cause of the whole scene, gave another long sigh. "Let her be," he said. "She needs to accept things."
I turned to him, confusion washing over me once more, but I didn't let it get through me. Just once. Even for just tonight, I was strong.
"Where's Audra?" I said, getting back to the real questions.
Dante's face lit up. "So soon?"
"Yes." I paused. "I want her. She's mine now."
Dante's eyes squinted though his lips were still turned up. "I guess it can't be helped then. Come with me, Pax."
I had not stepped outside the whole day, so I was pretty much astonished when I saw the lantern decorations on the ground, the tables ready and waiting, the people all over the place.
It was like a stranger arriving on a house party. Except this was a whole town, and people greeted us as we came along, like I had already been there from the moment it had started.
Adding to that, a man and an older woman whom I had only known by face, walked over to us, catching a sight of me. "Pax!" they exclaimed.
Dante winked beside me.
The man and the woman then proceeded to barrage me with congratulations. Congratulations, that no matter how I thought about it, were just plain wrong.
"You were great last night!"
"We knew you'd come along!"
What was more disturbing was the smell coming from them. The herbal scent of the sage was like a perfume reeking from both.
Which Dante was kind enough to offer an explanation on. "The sage can be beneficial in different ways," he whispered. "Excuse me, Sir and Madame. Pax and I have someone to see." He steered me towards the other direction, continuing. "A few weeks from now, I will have Maya explain to you everything we can do with the sage. It is just appropriate, no? Seeing that you will be nominated as our next Elder?"
I was barely listening to him. A couple of feet from us, Maya and Mart were ushering another person.
Audra's head lifted up as Dante and I came along. "Pax!" she said.
My heart skipped a beat as Audra pranced to us like a fairy. Her hair bouncing like silk. Her gray, piercing eyes, melting onto mine.
The two of us met in the middle like we hadn't seen each other for a long time. And then I pulled her to me, blowing on her ear a little, eliciting a groan from her.
I couldn't help but tense up.
"It's okay," she whispered, stroking my back. "It's me. Just me. Carry on."
Dante came beside us just then, not hearing a thing, but otherwise looking proud of me. Like catching his daughter making out with the hottest girl in town. Which was effed up however you think about it.
"I can see that you two did get along well last night," Dante said. "What did I tell you, Pax? Isn't the sage great?"
"Superb," I lied, pulling Audra closer to me.
"So like I said earlier," Dante continued. "A few weeks from now, I'm going to give you all the secrets. Provided that you stay with us, of course."
Was there any other option?
Regardless, I smiled through my teeth, while Audra beside me, proceeded to kiss my neck. Which made Dante laugh, naturally. "Lust," he said. "One of the sage's strongest results. Other than that, it's really all medicinal. Well. . ." He gave the two of us a smile. "I best leave you alone then. Enjoy."
Maya and Mart went along with him. Mart giving me such a complete look of loathing before the three of them disappeared, but I paid her no heed.
It was Audra. Always Audra on my mind. Especially now, as I pulled her closer to me, wrapped her in my arms.
"Are you alright?" I whispered, just to make sure.
"Y-yes."
I pulled her back for a second. She had began to tremble pretty bad. "What happened?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing much. . ." She grinned. "T-they just put me in this cold room and forced me to inhale the sage for an hour. I-It's nothing, really. I'm just a bit dizzy for trying to fend it off."
Foolish girl. I embraced her again, not to take advantage or anything, but to keep her warm. She trembled more severely.
"I'm s-sorry," she whispered. "I-I'm not usually this weak."
"Of course, you aren't," I said. But why did she keep acting though? It was alright to be fragile once in a while. Especially around me.
I guided her to the side, away from the onlookers. "Do you need a minute to rest?" I asked.
"N-no. . ." Audra blew a breath on her palms, then proceeded to rub them together. "I'm ready when you're ready," she said. "Let's put on a show."
A/N: Hello to new and old readers alike! How are you finding my stories so far? Thank you for purchasing this book if you already did. If not, then continue to support it by watching the ads. If you haven't seen the long message on my profile, I stated there that I am finally agented and is currently making a book for traditional publishing (could be sold on bookstores, etc. Who knows?) So please be more patient with me. Love you! :)