Chapter 16
I stood there, using the wall for support, looking at the phone that lay in my hand. I don't know how long I stood there but time seemed to slow down as I continued to stare at the phone. Why was Steve calling? What else could he possible want from me? I have nothing left to give.
Oh, Steve. In the process of doing his job, so many aspects of my life were ruined.
Today was the day. The day I had to breakup with Blake. Steve had told me that this would give him emotional closure before my 'death'. I thought it was a load of crap but listening to Steve was literally my job now.
I was sitting under a huge willow tree- Blake and I's tree. Well, not officially. It's not like we had been the ones to plant it or anything. But we did claim this spot everyday after school and at lunches to spend time with just each other. Hence why I was waiting here until Blake met up with me after his final class.
"Ugh." I heard someone groan as they plopped down next to me.
I smiled knowing it was Blake before quickly wiping it off as I remembered what I was supposed to be doing here.
"Do you ever just want to leave and start new? I'm just so sick and tired of everything that's going on here." Blake said exaggerated.
I frowned. This was not the side of Blake I was used to seeing. "What are you talking about Blake?"
"I just want to leave. Travel more. I mean, who says a little adventure wouldn't be fun?"
I looked at Blake, still not fully comprehending the situation. "Excuse me?"
"I'm just feeling the need for a change." Blake said while his eyes told a different story; a story with many more secrets. "Let's go."
"What?" I asked hesitantly. Where the hell was he going with this?
"Run with me. We could be anywhere we want this time tomorrow. We could get new starts, be new people."
"Blake..."
"We could run around the globe together, Adara. Just picture it."
I took a deep breath while staring into Blake's green eyes. The worst part of this situation was that I could picture it. I could picture the future me and Blake could have and I knew that image would haunt me for the rest of my life. He would get to know me too well, and there are aspects of my life that he just can't know. Aspects that would make him want to run away from me rather than away with me.
And that scared me.
"Blake. I can't." I said while casting my gaze downwards.
"Why not?" He asked quietly.
I looked back up to meet his gaze. "We're only 16, Blake! It wouldn't work." And just like that, I watched all the light drain from Blake's eyes.
"We would make it work." Blake said dejectedly, knowing he was fighting an already lost battle.
I shook my head, "I'm sorry, Blake. I really-"
"No. It's fine. Really." His tone was hurt and clipped. "I've gotta go. I'm working an early shift today."
"Alright. See you tomorrow." I said but it was too late as he was already halfway across the parking lot.
So, maybe today wasn't the day to breakup with him. I shifted as I felt a queasy feeling settle in my belly.
I've really messed up, haven't I?
"Are you alright?" Said a voice from my right.
I looked over, snapping out of my daydream, to see green eyes staring back at me intently. "Why would you ask that?"
"Your hands are shaking and I'm guessing that you've been staring at your phone for the past half an hour since you never came inside the bar." Blake responded while glancing down at my hands.
"I'm just waiting for a call." It wasn't a complete lie. Steve would end up calling me again sooner or later. He would never give up. Especially if he wanted something from me. "Where's everyone else anyway?" I added trying to change the subject.
It worked. "Charlie is in the washroom and Mark and Carina are dancing. Let's go inside, it looks like a storm is coming." Blake responded looking at the thunderous clouds hovering above us.
I nodded at him and followed him inside.
I looked out at the dance floor and saw Carina. Was she in danger because of me? What was I doing? How could I put all of these people in danger by being with them? How could I be so selfish?
All these thoughts running through my head began to blur my vision. My hands shook even more and my breathing became constricted.
I heard Blake sigh and I turned to look at him.
He saw me looking and explained. "I just thought of something. Sorry, it's stupid."
I shook my head. "Tell me." Tell me anything. I need a distraction from the anxiety.
"It's not even important." He protested.
I looked at Blake closely. It looked as though he was going through a rougher time than me. "Tell me about it." I said softly.
Blake looked at me before continuing hesitantly. "I used to like this girl."
I felt a pang in my chest but ignored it. "And?"
"She left. And it was my fault. I still love her. But it's hopeless. I'll never see her again because I was too stupid to see what I had until it was too late."
"Is this girl someone I may know?" I asked. Can't blame a girl for hoping. And I was certainly hoping for a specific answer.
"No, probably not. She is the reason I broke up with my high school girlfriend though." Blake chuckled humorlessly. "Didn't end well."
Well, ouch. I may have been looking for a distractions from my problems but I did not sign up for hearing the reason behind Blake and I's breakup. He had liked another girl? That was like a slap in the face. I bet she was willing to run around the world with him. In my head I scoffed at the thought yet my heart sank at the same time.
"That's too bad." I tried to fake sympathy while I actually felt good that Blake and this 'mystery girl' hadn't worked out.
"Cab's outside." Charlie cut me off.
"We-" Blake's reply was cut off by the lights going down.
The whole bar was quickly submerged in darkness and we heard thunder from outside.
"Sorry folks. Looks like the generator for our building was hit by lightning. The backup should be up and running soon." The bartender informed us.
After that, I couldn't think.
Everything was black. Yet I was still able to see. It was as if I was suspended in nothingness but still able to walk. I took a couple of steps forward before stopping. Where was I supposed to go? Wasn't I supposed to be on a mission?
That's when I remembered. Everything; the leak, the forest and the attack.
"Danny? Alex. Joe, John?" I screamed out into the emptiness before me.
No answer.
That's when it hit me.
I must be dead.
"Addie?" I heard a voice come from behind me.
I turned around and saw him. I soon as my eyes hit his, I completely relaxed. "Danny."
"Addie. Adara, you can't be here." He said panicked.
"Why not?" I asked him.
"You have to leave! Now!" Danny yelled.
"Sure. I'd love to. Just show me to the door." I muttered sarcastically.
The next thing that happened crushed me. Danny- the strongest person I know- broke down in sobs and sat down on the floor. The sight broke my heart in half and made me want to start crying too.
"You can't be here. I fought so hard, Addie. I fought for you. Please forgive me. I tried. I tried really hard. I really did. They were attacking you. It's all my fault." He cried.
I sat down next to him as I had a realization. "We're dead." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
He just nodded.
I stood up. "Well, how do I leave?"
"You don't." He responded.
"Well, how did I die?" I asked.
"You tell me." He responded simply.
We sat together in silence. I would never see my aunt or uncle again. Not that I could before but still, at least I had the option.
"Do you have any regrets?" I ask Danny while pulling my knees into my chest.
"About what?" Danny sniffed.
"Life. What we devoted our lives to, what we died for." I explained.
"No. But I do regret something else." He replied.
I looked at him sideways. "What would that be?"
"Never seeing my parents again." He looked at me as if to judge my reaction. "I ran away from home at 14 years old. Never looked back, not until now. I was picked up by Steven when I was 15 years old. My parents never heard from me after I ran away. Now they never will. I never thought about it before but now, it's all I can think about. I don't know why. It's funny because I kept a whole bunch of letters I had written to them over the years in my bank box. I never had the courage to send them. Not a single one. Now I'll never get the chance."
I understood how he was feeling. "It's because you had the option. When you were alive, you knew that you ever felt the need to reach out to them, you could. Now you can't."
"I guess so." Danny nodded. "What about you? Any regrets?"
I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Ya."
"Come on. Tell me. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone." Danny said trying to lighten the mood.
I didn't find it amusing but started to speak anyways. "I was in love."
"No way. Adara Williams. In love." Danny was shocked.
"Ya. And it scared the shit out of me. I could face a dozen armed men without weapons and I would have been less scared than when I was in love. So I left. And by that, I mean joined Steve and you guys. I took the first chance I could to get out of there. I regretted it even when I was alive."
Danny practically had his jaw on the floor. "I can't believe this! Why didn't you ever do something about it?"
"What was I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry for faking my death to get away from you.'" I faked a high pitched voice.
Danny blew out a gust of air. "You faked your death? That's terrible Adara!"
"Tell me about it. It's worse than terrible. It's irreversible." I shook my head.
We sat in silence again. How long would we have to sit here for? For the rest of eternity?
The floor gave away as I began to slowly drift downwards.
"Danny! What's happening?" I screamed, panicking.
A small smile formed on his face. "A second chance. Goodbye Adara. Remember; I truly am sorry."
He ruffled my hair than everything went bright.
My eyes blinked, trying to adjust to the change of lighting. The bright light I had just seen was replaced by a dim light. I sat up quickly and looked around.
"Danny? Danny, I can't leave you!" I cried out.
I voice on my left spoke. "What are you talking about?"
I turned around and there sat Danny, completely alive.
"Adara? You're awake. Thank god." Alex said from my right.
"Ya, I am." I was confused.
"You were out for three days. You died." Alex explained.
"What?" How could I have died if I was sitting here right now?
"Your heart stopped for 37 seconds. You died Adara. You spent the last three days in a coma. We thought that you would never wake up." Alex said with tears in his eyes.
As I looked closer at my surroundings, I found myself lying on the floor of a cell. In fact, all of the boys were in separate cells as well. All of the cells were connected to a long hallway that had two other doors on it. I blinked rapidly and shook my head. The last three days had felt like ten minutes to me.
One of the doors opened suddenly and banged against the wall. It opened to reveal with a tall, muscular man who had a scar running from his forehead down to his mid neck. I noticed Alex beginning to cower at the sight of this man. I looked at the man in wonder. Who could have the capabilities to make a trained assassin cower?
"I see the bitch is up." He sneered as me. He unlocked my door, "Come on. Let's go.
I knew there was no point in fighting with him as I walked over to him.
I turned to Alex and whispered so the scarred man wouldn't be able to hear us converse. "Where is he taking me?"
I tried to hide my fear but was unable to. I was in no physical condition to fight; having not eaten in a couple days and being, you know, dead. The man told me to go through one of the doors.
Alex had tears streaming down his face as he responded. "Somewhere that's going to make you wish that you stayed dead."
"Well, there's really no point of us staying around if the cab's already here, right? I'll go find Mark and Carina then we can go." Charlie nudged my side, effectively jerking me back to the land of the present. "See you outside?"
"Right. We're coming." Blake replied while standing up.
Charlie went to go find Mark and Carina while Blake and I went to wait for them outside.
As we stood outside, an awkward silence filled the air. I tried not to think about my experiences from this time last year but it was hard. In three days' time, it would be the one year anniversary of me and the boys' deaths. And the second year anniversary of my first death. How ironic that they should fall on the same day.
Now, I had to deal with social conventions that I just couldn't handle right now. For example, Blake had just poured his heart out to me and I didn't know how to respond. Although, I was curious about the identity of the girl he liked. She was probably someone who went to the same school as us. How else would they have met?
I turned to Blake deciding to break the silence between us. "I really am sorry."
"For what?" He asked back.
Lying to you. Constantly. Faking my death. Twice. Putting you in danger. Again. Not running with you when I had the chance. The last thought stung. "Everything." I summed up.
It was such a little word. But it meant so much.
And he must have known.
Because after that, he kissed me.