Lia James
I find it quite a coincidence that every time I end up in this closet, it's because Andrew has this big confession to make. It's a symbol for secrets behind closed doors, and when we come out of it, it stays there so no one can find out.
This time, however, I could actually see what was in front of me. When Andrew hastily grabbed my hand and thrusted me into the janitors closet, I crashed into his hard muscly body.
Yes, I know. I'm a clutz. Whoopie.
We stood there for a good few seconds, Andrew's hand grabbing mine as it was placed on his chest where his heart was beating rapidly. Our bodies were in close proximity, and we stared at each other like the world was about to fall apart.
For a second, I saw a glimpse of him that I've never seen before. The side that was absolutely destroyed, almost like he was damaged from certain things in his past.
His eyes spoke words for him, and they were telling me how much he missed me and longed to have me with him again.
But then...
I remember the secrets and all the lies that I've been told about Andrew and his significant other, whom I've never heard anything about. I'm reminded of the picture that stuck out from under his bed of him with another girl.
And that moment, just that moment, of remembering it all, had me jerking back and creating distance between the two of us. Even though every ounce of my body tells me to kiss the life out of this guy.
"Uh...hi." He says, running his hand through his hair and tugging at the roots.
It only takes two whole days without each other to make things awkward.
"Hi." I said quickly, hoping to find my easiest way of escape from this claustrophobic room.
He begins tapping his foot on the ground, looking for something to say. It's almost as if he knows what he wants, he just can't seem to form sentences.
"Fuck, I can't hold this in any longer." He comes close to me at lightning speed, and I back up only to hit the cement wall behind me after a few steps. He soon follows, hovering his tall self over me, and putting his hand right by my ear.
"W-What are you d-doing?" I didn't like this one bit.
"I can't stand being away from you, Lia. It's driving me fucking insane not being able to touch you or..." He runs his thumb across my bottom lip. "Kiss you."
"You don't have that permission anymore, remember? You have a girlfriend." It was a bit more snippy than I intended, but I wanted to get my point across that he shouldn't be keeping secrets from me.
"Why not?" He sighs, his face inching forward to mine. "Just one kiss, Lia. I promise. I can't stop thinking about you, you're all that's on my mind. Please, just one kiss."
I was at a moment of weakness. Everything just felt so right and I couldn't help but want to kiss him. So, as I nodded my head, he tried closing the gap between us.
Our lips were about to connect, but then I realized how wrong it was to even say yes. I can't give in to him. Not after he holds secrets and relationships that I have no idea about.
So, I pushed him away.
He took it by surprise, and stumbled backward, almost hitting the shelves behind him. Confusion was worn on his face, as I crossed my arms as a means of protection. I didn't want him to make me weak like that ever again. Not until we figure out our problems.
"Come on, Lia." He approached me again.
I put my hand up. "Try and kiss me again and I will punch the living daylights out of you."
"Why are you being like this?"
"I'm being like this because you're keeping things from me that I deserve to know about!" I raised my voice.
"It's not that easy, Lia. I can't just spill my entire life story to someone I met a few months ago." He rolls his eyes, turning his back to me.
"What did you expect? You wanted me in your life, otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to go over your house all those times!" He doesn't make eye contact with me as I'm speaking. "What about when you kissed me? If this, whatever this is, progressed into a relationship, what would you have done?"
He gives me a dirty look. "Progressed into a relationship? Seriously?"
I remain silent, narrowing my eyes as he laughed at what we had in my face.
"I don't date, Lia. I've told you millions of times but then you just kept pushing and pushing to make me something that I am never going to be!"
"I never pushed you to be anyone! You're the one who kissed me! You're the one who insisted we hung out behind my best friends back!"
He scoffs, but he knows I'm right.
"Then why are you trying to put us into a relationship? Just because I fucking kissed you, you, doesn't mean we have to push for a relationship. I kiss random girls all the time!" He runs his hands through his hair. "You know what? You're just like every girl out there."
"Thanks so much, Andrew! I appreciate being called average." I shrugged, showing him that I didn't care about his insults. "But you know what? I know that I'm not like other girls. So, whatever you think you can say about me, shove it. I know what I am. Not you, or anybody else. Me."
"Congratulations on your dignity." He said in a sarcastic tone.
"Thanks so much!"
"You're welcome. Because no matter how much we fight about it, I'm still not going to talk about what you saw the other day. Just want to make that clear."
"Really? Because it sure seems like you're talking about it." I ventured to the farthest corner of the closet, making sure that he couldn't be near me after I bicker with him.
Before he had a chance to say anything, I cut in. "What is she then? Is she not like the other girls? Kissing you, and then you falling into her trap? Or an undeniable connection?"
"You don't know that full story." He mumbled, but I caught it and readied my response.
He irritates me to the point where I could easily go up to him and smack his chest as hard as I could.
"I don't know the full story because YOU. ARE. NOT. TELLING. IT." I smack my hands together with each annunciated word.
"I'm not telling it because I don't want to tell it."
We've been over this before.
"Good. Fine! Don't tell me then. You've already lost me forever. So, when your run out of hoes to mess around with, don't come running to me. I don't like people who keep secrets from me."
I get even more upset when he refuses to turn around and look me in the eyes.
I finally gather up my courage from my anger and I grab his bicep, not even caring how rock hard it was, and I swung it around so that he faced me.
"And for the record, I was waiting for you last night." I dry laughed, thinking about how stupid I was that night. "I was waiting for you to come to my window and make things right, just as you did before. I even opened the window slightly so that you could come into my bedroom without making too much noise."
He looked at me with hurt, like he knows he should've made things right. But instead he made them worse.
"But I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Not only stupid last night, but stupid that I even began to trust you. Stupid that I even came to this school in the first place!"
I begin to walk away, making my way to the closet door, preparing for me escape. But I wanted to say one final thing before I departed from his life for good.
"That's right, Andrew. You're not the only one with skeletons in the closet. I have secrets, but you can keep yours. And I'll keep mine. Goodbye."
Slam.
I was free.
I felt like a new woman, free from a man who was too toxic for her life right now.
I was at a very low point in my life, ever since my Mom passed, and I couldn't help but feel as though I was drowning.
I thought I managed to reach the surface, but this "relationship" or whatever it is, it pulled me right back down. And then I continued to drown.
But not anymore.
I finally feel this weight lifted off my chest, one that I have been carrying ever since I met Andrew. All he managed to do with me was like a hole through my heart and managed to turn it around on me.
But as I walk to my first class as a new woman, I think about the life lessons that this will teach me with the new relationships that come in my life.
No secrets. No gangs. No shadiness.
Only trust and honesty.
I sit down in my first period class, in a chair that is moderately close to the front. This is my favorite class to come in especially in the morning. And also because it's hard to see in a big classroom like this.
The second warning bell rings, and I see teenagers piling in one after another, scrambling to find seats next to their friends or boyfriends.
But, something felt off.
Maybe it was what happened with Andrew. Or maybe it was the fact that Julian hasn't been in school for almost a month.
When Andrew had left that one time after his birthday, Julian had found out about it. Eli said that he knew exactly where to find him, so he spent some free time after school and located where him and his gang were, and then Julian left after Andrew had left a few weeks prior.
Of course I didn't know this information until after Andrew came back and Eli managed to tell me one day at school.
But anyways, when Andrew came back, I expected Julian to come back too. Unless he's in ka-hoots with a gang and is spending some time away for his safety. I don't know.
I just hope he's okay. Wherever he is.
As my thoughts began to drift away, Lina had plopped into the seat next to me, and then began taking out her pink folder and notebook. Along with her silver pencil.
I look over at her. "That's a cute scarf."
It was a gray knitted scarf. It was really cute and really matched her outfit well.
She fanned herself. "Yeah, isn't it? Too bad it's like 90 degrees and humid outside."
"So...take it off." I giggled at her insanity at wearing a scarf in hot weather.
"I can't. Me and Dante were...fooling around, and he started kissing my neck..."
"Ew! You have hickeys?" I look at her, completely distraught and disgusted.
She lowers her scarf so I could see. "It took me almost an hour to put foundation on it. And when it wouldn't blend in, I just gave up and put the scarf on."
"What if Alex sees it?" I reminded her, and she went bug-eyed. Like she hadn't thought of that yet.
"Ugh." She sighs. "Welp. I guess I'm just wearing this scarf until they go away. Even inside in front of my mother."
We laugh in unison as the third bell rang and the teacher was ready to begin the first lesson of the school day.
***
I wanted to keep myself busy after all that had happened today. After the fight with Andrew in the closet, to Lina and her hickeys, I wanted to keep busy so that I wouldn't think about it. More of the first thing than the second, though.
I went to softball practice as usual, and placed decent in all the drills that I had to participate in. I didn't take a shower in the stall, but instead went to the gym for some needed weight training classes. I wanted a good throwing arm in case they needed another pitcher. I was second in line for that position, but first in line for short stop.
I went to the class for about an hour, then I went home and took a very needed bubble bath. My muscles were sore from the weight training plus all conditioning we did at practice today. I needed some tranquility in my life, and I thought that this was the perfect way.
When I came out, I got changed and called my Dad to see how everything was back in Maine. He said that him, Layla, and Noah, went to the L.L. Bean factory store just a few towns over and bought some much needed winter stuff for this year. Apparently they've had some bad storms this past week, and the snow has been accumulating.
I finished the phone call with my Dad fairly late, and I was ready for bed. Just as I was about to get into bed, I felt an unwelcome breeze come into my room, giving me goose bumps all over.
I looked for the source and found that it was the window that I forgot to close after I opened it.
I went over to my window and closed it for the last time. And then I locked it.
Now, that's better.
No boys allowed ever again.
~*~
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YAY! Another chapter!
Did you like the fight that was going on, or no? Which are you? Team Andrew or Team Lia. Discuss in the comments!
And the hickeys on Lina? She's one crazy girl!
Anyways, that's it! Stay tuned for next chapter.
Much love.
XOXO