~ ~ ~ SAM'S POV ~ ~ ~
It's not like I had regretted confessing to Megan that she made me happy but it certainly hadn't been a planned response. I didn't know what had come over me or why I had let myself become so vulnerable to her but it was a relief getting it off my chest. She hadn't really reacted, which I still wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but I was hoping for the best.
That night something in her had changed, I couldn't really put my finger on it but there had been something different. Even though we had been at a place where majority of the people knew our "relationship", she obviously hadn't been scared to join me at the end of the night. She had been confident, happy, and a lot braver than I was used to.
And I'm still not sure what exactly had made her change so suddenly, but I was grateful for it.
I would get to see her during class today of course, which felt weird, but I would also see her after school for the softball scrimmage that I would have to attend. Their season was starting and my suspension had expired, but honestly I didn't mind the fact that I would have to help out again.
I knew that originally I was doing this as a punishment, but that was no longer the case anymore. I honestly felt like I owed something to the softball team, whether it was for Emma, Megan, or myself. I wanted to participate in something other than just going to school and going home, and being around the softball girls, with the exception of Shay, made me feel good.
So I would suffer through the cold with them with a smile on my face.
Recalling the kiss for Megan's party made me feel weird, but when I thought about it I couldn't help but overanalyze it. It had honestly scared me whenever we had kissed, and I was pretty sure it was because of the things I had felt during it.
We hadn't gotten the chance to actually talk about it, but I'm not sure if I wanted to simply because I didn't know what would be said. I mean I had already just admitted something huge to her within the last few days so I figured she would need time to wrap her head around that first.
The new semester was already underway and we were well into the week considering it was Thursday, and I was so happy tomorrow was Friday.
The first week back was always the worst.
Blair nudged me out of my day dream then, "So my parents are talking about getting me a car, finally."
I looked at her, "That's awesome, so I don't have to drive out to the fucking boondocks to pick you up?"
She scowled at me, "They're talking about getting me one, but thanks for being honest."
I smiled, "Blair you know I don't mind, and now that I have money from work gas isn't an issue."
She nodded, "How is work going? I know you're making a shit ton of money."
I agreed ,"I am, my savings account is getting pretty big."
She eyed me, "Ever thought of moving out?"
Now that she had brought it up I realized I hadn't thought about it, but it sure didn't sound like a bad thing. I obviously didn't want to stay at Shawn's forever but maybe I was holding off until I graduated then I would get serious about looking for a place of my own.
I shrugged, "I'm trying to wait till I'm out of school."
She nodded, "Smart choice, it's weird to hear you talk like an adult."
I eyed her, "Doesn't suit me or something?"
She shook her head, "It's just weird, you're a lot different now, ever since..."
"Ever since what?"
She looked at me, smiling slightly as she shrugged nonchalantly, "Ever since Megan."
I didn't roll my eyes or defend myself like I usually did when Megan came up in the conversation, which I took as a good sign. I no longer felt like denying anything, and I felt safe accepting the fact that Megan had in fact changed me for the better. Yes, it had taken a lot of ups and downs but I had really grown from it all, and I was extremely grateful.
I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship.
She rested her head on her hand, looking at me, "So, wanna talk about New Years?"
I remembered the kiss immediately, how amazing it had felt to be with her the way I had. I had never felt so comfortable and good all at once like I had that night, but I had refused to tell Blair the details.
They just felt so sacred to me.
I sighed, "I mean, she came meet me and sat with me, and she didn't seem scared and nervous like she usually does around me. She was confident, and we talked and then we... you know..."
"You fucked?!"
I groaned, "No Blair, we kissed, a lot."
"Hot and romantic kiss with Megan on New Years, holy shit."
I eyed her, "What?"
"It's only just a matter of time till you two admit something to the other and shit hits the fan."
I thought about what she had said and how I had pretty much done just that, but should I tell her? I mean, Megan hadn't seemed freaked out when I said it, but I also hadn't seen her since that night. What if I had freaked her out?
I sighed, "Well, I kind of did... I told Megan she made me happy."
Blair just eyed me, as if she didn't believe what I had just said. She shook her head, "Wait, you said that to Megan?"
I nodded, "Yes."
"And you were sober?"
I nodded slightly, wondering why everyone was so shocked I had done this.
Her eyes were wide and so was her smile, but she responded quickly, "Holy shit Sam, you admitted you had feelings for someone, and to Megan! That's history being made right there."
I rolled my eyes, "Why is it such a shock?"
"Because Sam, you know you're not the most open person about anything, much less about your feelings."
"So in other words I probably scared the shit out of Megan when I said that?"
"Most likely."
I sighed, "Great."
"But you were honest about how you feel about her, and that's a good thing no matter what Sam."
I looked at Blair, happy that she was so understanding and non-judgmental towards me and my weird ways. After everything we had been through she had stood by me and listened, never once running away.
I smiled, responding, "I'm not even sure how I feel about her..."
"Well, she makes you happy, that's a good thing. You have time to figure it out."
I shook my head, "Blair, she's my teacher, it's not like that's normal to feel that way about a teacher. You get that right?"
She shrugged, "Honestly, yes I get that, but she was a friend before a teacher and that's not your fault. Even though you would've probably still started liking her even if you would've met her outside the classroom later on."
I sighed, "You don't know that for sure."
"Sam, you and Megan were practically made for each other, embrace it."
I shook my head, not understanding where all of this was coming from, "Megan and I are very different."
"Oh please, you two are both sexy, stubborn, bossy, and passionate about things that you love. That's the reason you two have a hard time getting along inside the classroom, because you two just want to be alone outside the classroom."
As much as I wanted to tell Blair she was wrong, I just couldn't. She was absolutely right about everything all the damn time and even when I kind of hated it I also appreciated it a lot.
It was just scary.
Then the bell rang, dismissing me to Megan's class which I had honestly been looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, I hated the class itself but I loved watching Megan. There was just something about watching her move around the classroom with ease, and if she was meant to do it.
I walked with Bair, remembering I hadn't responded to her previous comment in science, "There have been times where we've almost hooked up, but it's never happened."
"And it was probably intense, right?"
I shrugged, "Well yea it was intense... but that doesn't-"
"Sam, you know what I mean. Like there was something between you two that wasn't between anyone else you've slept with. That one little thing you can't put your finger on, the thing that makes being with her different."
I hated how she was always right.
I nodded, "Yea."
She smiled, "Oh you've finally met your match, Sam Carson."
I rolled my eyes, "Blair, go home."
We stopped outside Megan's class as I looked at her, seeing a huge white smile spread wide across her face. She nodded, "Well, have fun with Miss Adams."
I shoved her off as I turned towards Megan, seeing her speaking with another student at her door. We hadn't talked about New Years since it happened and I was getting anxious, we just never had time alone. I hadn't done anything to score me a detention either, which was usually our time alone but that would involve me making a bad decision.
Then my feet started walking towards her, as if they had a mind of their own as her gorgeous eyes switched to me. A slight smile spread on her lips which made me feel pretty good, and I stood eye level with her as I spoke, "Can we just skip class today and say it happened?"
She tilted her head, "No, I can't. And besides, you of all people need to be in class."
I frowned, "I have a C in the class now, thanks to your awesome study guide for our last test."
She eyed me and smiled, "Yea well, you're welcome, but don't expect it for the next test. You need to learn how to study on your own."
I sighed heavily, "But Miss Adams.... I need your help."
She laughed slightly, "That sounded wrong."
I winked, "Perv."
She responded, "If you want you can stay after class and I can help you with the homework you're going to get today."
I rolled my eyes, "Homework?"
She held up her hands, "Fine, do it on your own."
I shook my head, "No, I'll stay, but only because I haven't learned anything this week and I really do need your help."
She frowned, "Go sit."
I smiled, walking into her class and wondering what exactly was going on with Megan and I. She didn't seem freaked out with me, which was a good sign, but we still hadn't talked about New Years. Did she not want to talk about it? Was it weird that I wanted to?
I just didn't really know what to think, but maybe after class I would figure it out after talking to Megan.
~ ~ ~ ~
The bell was ringing, dismissing class as I sat in my desk, which was still right next to Megan's desk. The class was emptying slowly and I watched Megan linger by the door as she waited for everyone to get the hell out.
Then she shut the door, leaving us alone.
I pulled my desk next to hers and watched her walk slowly over to me, as if she wasn't sure how she wanted to go about this situation. She didn't look nervous though, which was a really good thing because I didn't want her to be weirded out if I started talking about non-school things.
She looked at me, "So did you get anything from the lesson today?"
"Not one thing."
She groaned, "Sam, you need to pay attention."
"It's hard."
She eyed me sternly, "That's because you stare at my boobs the entire time."
I laughed, "No... I stare at your ass too."
She continued to frown as we sat eye to eye with each other, and for some reason her pout was the sexiest thing ever. I knew I was getting it bad for Megan, and for some reason I knew I should be running the other way, but I just couldn't.
She eyed me, "We're not gonna get any school work done while you're here, huh?"
I shook my head, "Probably not."
"You better do your homework tonight Sam."
I smiled, "I will, Miss Adams."
"Stop saying my name like that, it's weird."
I smirked, "Like what? Miss Adams?"
She shoved me slightly, smiling, "Stop Sam."
I leaned on her desk, looking at her, "Why's it weird?"
She laughed as she responded, "Because you say it like it's a bad porno stage name or something."
I smiled then, wondering when Megan had become so brave and open when talking to me about things like this. She was comfortable with me, and that meant she trusted me, which meant we were making good progress.
"Megan, you're fucking weird."
"So are you."
"Touché."
She continued marking away on some papers as I sat there silently, wondering how I should bring up the other night. I wanted to talk about it, which was a rare case in itself because I never wanted to talk about things like this, but I did with Megan.
I just felt like something needed answering.
She spoke without even turning to look at me, "Stop staring at me Sam."
I sighed, "I want to talk about New Years."
She stopped marking her papers and faced me completely, seeming calm and collected about the entire situation, as if she had expected this. She smiled, "I was wondering when you were gonna bring it up."
I frowned, "Why didn't you?"
"Because I didn't want to force you to talk about something you weren't ready for."
I smiled then, realizing she had been thinking about it like I had and was willing to admit it. She wasn't avoiding the topic either, she was embracing it, and I was more grateful for that than I realized.
I continued, "I thought I had freaked you out."
She tilted her head, "Sam, ever since you got in that wreck I'm pretty immune to everything else. It takes a lot more than that to freak me out."
I self-consciously touched my eyebrow where my scar was now at the mention of the wreck, shaking my head at the mention of it. It was embarrassing to talk about, especially with Megan, but it felt nice knowing that I hadn't scared her the other night.
I shrugged, "Was it weird? Like me saying that?"
She shook her head, "No, not if it was the truth."
"Of course it was the truth."
The fact that I was literally blurting everything out without hesitation worried me, as if I no longer had a filter. I knew I should tread carefully with Megan but it was hard, not after I had been refused to talk about what I was feeling for so long.
She eyed me, then smiled devilishly, "So... I make you... happy?"
I rolled my eyes, knowing that she was going to rub it in, "Megan, don't rub it in, okay? I was honest with you, that doesn't mean milk it."
She scooted her chair closer to me, "How do I manage to make you, the oh-so rebellious Sam Carson, happy?"
I narrowed my eyes at her, not liking the teasing one bit but also enjoying the view at the same time. Even though she was annoying she was still painfully beautiful, and she was just inches from me.
I shook my head, looking down at her desk, "You just do, but it's not often."
"Oh don't ruin my mood now Sam, it was just getting good."
I rolled my eyes, "I don't expect you to understand what I feel, but seriously I told you that in confidence."
I didn't know why I had muttered an outburst or why I had grown a little upset after I had brought it up. Maybe I had been hoping she would somehow find the courage and strength to tell me that she felt the same way, or that I made her happy to. Neither of those things happened though, and maybe I was a little more upset about it than I should be.
Megan had a seriously weird way of making me moody.
She seemed to have gotten the hint that I wasn't in the mood for flirtatious games as she leaned back in her chair, looking at me. She smiled softly, "What do you want me to say?"
I knew what I wanted to hear, but hearing it would make it real, and making it real was extremely scary. Did I want to hear her say she cared about me and that I made her happy too? Or was I still too immature to handle someone like Megan? Handling the fact that someone like Megan actually cared about me was difficult and frightening, and I wasn't sure if I was quite ready.
I shrugged, "Nothing, I just didn't want you to make fun of me."
She smirked, "Well, you can't take back what you said."
I shook my head, "I don't want to take it back."
Megan's blue eyes took me in as I watched her debate something within her head. She was thinking something serious but asking would probably be pointless. I hated that I never knew what went on in her mind but at the same time I admired her for it.
I spoke, "You surprised me the other night when you came meet me."
"Why's that?"
I shrugged, "Because you were around people we knew, I didn't expect you to want to be alone with me."
She shrugged slowly, leaning forward again, "I don't know, I just felt like I needed to talk to you."
I smiled, laughing a little to myself, "Yea, we did a lot of talking."
"Oh God don't start."
I smiled harder, "Oh come on, don't act like you didn't like it."
She looked up at me, "I'm not saying that."
When I met her eyes for what felt like the millionth time, I felt like the world had stopped spinning. There were these moments between Megan and I that I couldn't explain, even to this day, and I wasn't sure if there ever would be any explaining. We would look at each other and get lost, or just wonder what the other was thinking about, and it was sort of magical.
Then we both moved in for each other, my hands gripping her hips as she stayed put in her chair. Her hands held my face as I pulled her closer to me, realizing how much I had actually been wanting to kiss her. My heart was screaming at this moment, knowing we were here in school kissing, but I didn't care.
One of my hands roamed down her leg, and I felt the familiar burning sensation in my body at the thought of touching Megan. It was this intense feeling, a feeling I knew but didn't know at the same time, and it was tearing me up not being able to explore it any further.
Her soft lips continued to kiss mine as I tried not to get too carried away, but Megan didn't seem to want to stop.
Which was really shocking, honestly.
Then one of Megan's hands grabbed my hip, touching a spot that was extremely sensitive on me as I shuddered under her hand. The tingling sensation ran down my leg and up to my stomach, causing me to moan slightly, which was obviously involuntary.
Then the bell rang.
It startled us, naturally, and caused us to pull away quickly. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to pass out, and Megan straightened herself as she stood, looking right at me.
She mumbled, "I'll see you later?"
I nodded, "Yea, see you."
Then I left her class, not sure whether I should be excited that I would be seeing Megan later on or turned on.
Maybe just a bit of both.
***A/N***
Just wanted to apologize to my readers, I didn't mean to stall this chapter for so long. I've been super busy since I've gotten back from Florida with music and school so writing has been put on the backburner. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the absence! Happy Reading.
-Lauryn