JENNIE'S POV
Lisa tightened her grip on my arm as her dreadful gaze showered on me, "Jennie what's happening? Tell me!"
I stared at her blankly as I thought of how Rosé has been for the past week. It reminded me of something that happened four years ago.
Flashback
"Jennie unnie," I felt someone poking my arms as I studied in the library.
I sighed, "Rosé stop it," I said without looking at her.
"U-Unnie..."
I grew annoyed because of her constant nagging but still paid no attention. Instead, I got my earphones from my bag and stuffed it in my ears to shut her off. Rosé has been nothing but annoying lately. She kept being clingy, tearful and restless.
I don't get why she has to knock on my door every night and wake me up just because she felt sad? That's why I decided to lock my bedroom door lately, so she won't disturb my sleep anymore.
Once again, I huffed in irritation when tiny drops of liquid drip on my notebook. I looked up to see Rosé crying while still standing beside me.
Ugh, here she goes again. If she can manage to get mom and dad's attention by being a cry baby, it won't work on me.
I quickly fixed my things and dragged her outside the school.
"U-Unnie..." Rosé sniffed while I was gripping her elbow harshly outside the school, "Apayo..." [Trans: It hurts]
I only stopped when we were already in front of my car that dad has bought for me early this year.
"Get in," I coldly said and left the passenger seat's door open for her before quickly going on the driver's seat.
I sighed as she entered my car in the slowest way possible.
I didn't utter a single word while I was driving abruptly. When we got home, I angrily stomped my way inside the house with her following me.
"What the hell is your problem?!" I shouted as I turned to her with my hands on my head, then I pointed my index finger at her, "Stop being a burden will you?!"
I rolled my eyes when she shed even more tears and sobbed harder. Her shoulders were shaking while she kept wiping her tears while looking down.
"There you go again! Crying nonstop just to seek attention!"
"I-I'm sorry," she choked out her words, "I'm sorry..." she kept repeating those words while I just heaved a frustrated sigh.
"I can't even study well because of you," I said a bit calmer before storming off to my room.
I don't really get why she's being like that for almost three weeks already. She absentmindedly does things inconveniently, she always looks like she didn't sleep at all and she barely touches her food but the day after that, she became worse.
Of course she didn't bother me anymore, it's because she didn't go out of her room at all. She missed classes for a straight week. Mom and dad grew worried because they can't even talk to her properly without her crying hysterically and asking them to leave them alone.
That was when I felt a pang of guilt in me. I knew I made my sister feel worse. It was my fault. So I advised mom to take Rosé to a doctor and the latter diagnosed her with clinical depression.
It took a lot before I got Rosé to talk to me again and I apologized for not being there for her and for making her feel awful. I also learned that some people were bullying her at school, specifically one of my close friends, Joy.
"I promise you, from now on no fucking body will be able to lay a hand on you anymore once you come back to school," I said as I stroked Rosé's hair while she rested her head on my arm, both of us laying on her bed.
"Jinjja?" she asked looking at me with her tearful eyes once again. Like a kid trying to see if I'm saying the truth that no monsters would come out of her bed at night. It pained me to see my sister like this. I'm so stupid for not seeing that I was hurting her before.
I hummed in agreement and hugged her tight, "So come back to school now okay? Unnie will protect you. I promise."
I felt her nod while burying her head on my chest, making me somewhat at ease.
At first I was shocked to hear before about that bullying thing because Joy has always told me how fun it is to be with Rosé, so when my sister told me that Joy was bullying her before, I didn't take it seriously. I felt so angry the moment I learned about it that I got into a fight with Joy.
My parents were called to school because I've hurt Joy badly. Of course, mom was so disappointed in me but I didn't feel an ounce of regret. From then on people knew they better not mess with me nor my sister.
And that felt good because for the first time, I felt like a real Unnie. Rosé and I became closer again, just like when we were younger.
Flashback ended
Lisa's eyes widened when I told her that Rosé came home last night, soaked in the rain. And that lately, she's so distracted about everything. She couldn't sleep at night nor eat well. I've been seeing her cry despite her attempts to keep it a secret.
"She has a fever today so she didn't go to school," I added while brushing off the tears that lingered on my cheeks and looked away. "I just wish whatever she's feeling is nothing like being clinically depressed again."
I was stunned when she suddenly pulled me in for a bear hug. Not knowing what to say nor do, I just gave in and buried my head in her shoulder as I was now unable to stop myself from sobbing.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered while stroking my hair that somehow managed to calm me.
I can feel my heart racing because of the unfamiliar warmth she was giving me, but I was thankful that she's here.
I know it wasn't just about Lisa not liking Rosé back. And it once again made me guilty that probably, was Lisa said days ago was right. That I was insecure and I'm doing everything to be the best, not realizing how much it's affecting my sister.
My insecurities are probably making her suffer.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled away from Lisa's warm embrace, "I knew Rosé thinks that no one ever chooses her, I made her feel that way. And you, by not feeling the same way with her, triggered her to feel every insecurity all at once. All of the insecurities that I caused her. It's all my fault..."
"No, no, Jennie," she tugged on my hand. I looked at her hand holding mine firmly. I looked at her deep brown eyes with a numb expression on my face. She gave my hand a squeeze before pursing her lips, "I was out of line when I told you all those bullshit before. I'm sorry. But please don't be so hard on yourself."
My vision was getting blurry once again as I looked at her, but her soft voice was still clear on my head when she said, "It's okay, Jennie. I'm here," then I felt her wipe away my tears.
I slowly nodded as I tried to calm myself once again. And when I did, I tried to meet her deep, brown eyes that were looking meaningfully at me.
God, I was so awful for treating her badly. I hate to admit it but honestly, she made me feel a lot better. Plus the fact that I haven't cried like this in a while now and I feel so much better now.
"Thank you," I mumbled as I tried to look away.
"No problem. I'm just... uhm, here if you need me. Even if we're... not that close," she stepped a little further, probably to distance herself now that I'm somewhat feeling a bit better now.
I smiled, grateful that she's here.
"By the way," she caught my attention once again with her question. She looked at me with pleading eyes, "Can I go see her?"
I think I stared a little too long at her deep brown orbs while a million things were running on my mind that I kind of got lost in my own thoughts.
"Jennie?"
I snapped back into reality and looked straight at her, "H-Huh?"
"I was asking if I can go see Rosé?" she asked again, making me realize that I haven't asnwered her question yet.
I gave her a small smile with a nod, "She needs you beside her..."
...more than I do.