INSTEAD OF SITTING down beside me, he pushed himself up to my bed, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and for a while, we lay like that without saying anything. He was careful to touch me, afraid that my shoulder was still hurt or any other of my ribs that were completely bruised, so he only tangled his fingers in my hair.
Call it cliché, call it stupid, but when I just heard how his heart is beating, it calmed me down in a second, slowed down the thoughts racing through my head, and made me feel like the pain I was feeling all over my body was less than it was since they lowered my morphine.
Don't get me wrong, my shoulder still hurts like a bitch, my ribs feels like they've been broken and put back together, and my chest... well, I got shot there so there's not more than to it. But, at least, here with Travis, I could feel differently than pain. I could feel him.
"You okay?" He whispered, his other hand taking my own, playing with my fingers. "I know everybody's been seeing you and with all the emotions running through, it can be draining. If you want to sleep, I can leave you alone for a while—"
I shook my head in disapproval. "No, don't do that. It's nice like this. I want this to last for a while."
"Hey," he cupped my chin, making me look at those gray orbs of his, ones that bore into my memory ever since I met him. "What are you thinking? Talk to me."
There was a lot of things in my mind even before my family talked to me and I thought when I saw all of them and got to actually talk about different stuff, it would eventually go away but here I am, laying down with Travis, still unable to get everything to disappear.
"I'm thinking about how Gabriel would react when I tell him what Michael or Jason did," I admitted, my voice shaking from the fear of having to think about it. "I don't want him to be mad at me or even blame himself for what he did. Then, I keep having to separate Michael from Jason when they're the exact same person. I don't know how he's going to react but what I do know is that I want him to see a therapist the second after I tell him."
It'd be good having to see someone. It's not something that people should be ashamed of because it's for the benefit of getting better and I know that Gabriel is a strong person—he's my angel—but even strong people do need help from those who are willing to give it.
He nodded, his eyes telling me how he understood me. "When exactly are you going to tell him?"
"I have this thing I figured out in my head where I would tell him when he learns how people isn't always what they seem to be," I answered. "but I don't want to keep a secret that long. In fact, I don't want to lie to him, feel constantly sad and forced to talk to him about his dad like he was the saint of all time. The guy was insane—he almost killed you, Travis. I almost lost you."
"And I almost lost you too," he repeated, holding me closer. "It's going to be hard when you decide to tell him, I'm sure, and if you want him to see someone when he does, then, I'll be with you every step of the way, but something tells me that that's not all you're thinking about, Sammy."
He was right. Not only was I so confused and scared that my own kid would hate me for getting him into this position, but I was also... I don't know how to describe it. After talking with Alex, it's when I realized what had happened that night, what I almost missed doing, what I almost never got to say to him, to Travis, to Sean, to Adriana, to Gabriel.
That's when tears started pouring down my eyes and no matter how much I tried to fight it, it still came down hard.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He placed his hands on my arms, caressing me. "Are you okay? Does something hurt?"
I shook my head. "No. It's just... I can't believe I almost didn't get to say goodbye."
The frown on his face deepened, and I could tell that he was feeling my sadness, and was now comforting me as much as he could. "But you're here. You're okay. You're alive."
Alive. Yes, I was.
"I love you so much," I blurted out. It was the truth, no matter how much I denied it. Sometimes I think even though I did love someone else, those feelings that I've felt for him never went away and now, we're here, together. He's with me, and throughout this pain that we've all felt for the past few days that I've been here, he's still set on staying with me. "I just love you and I thought I would never be able to say that to you."
His eyes softened, his frown faltered up, and his hold tightened.
"I waited for what felt like a long time for you to say that again, Sammy." He whispered, his lips brushing past mine.
Then, we kissed and I just felt that I belonged there, him holding me.
Nurse Gomez had to check up on us, telling us that it's okay for Travis to stay by my side but hands off for a while. My heart had gone up and any kind of strenuous activities including kissing which elevates my heartbeat will cause damage to the damage they did.
Travis was red from embarrassment, having to be told not to kiss me because it makes me excited, and I just laughed at his face and the torment that he was suffering from because of Nurse Gomez. He made sure I wasn't still feeling too much pain from the wounds and bruises I suffered and did a full check up as well as changing my bandages.
"Can't another nurse do it?" Travis spoke. Oh, if looks could kill, Nurse Gomez would definitely be six feet underground. "Maybe a female nurse?"
"Hush," I pressed my index finger to my lips, giving the nurse an apologetic smile. "Don't mind him and don't change with another nurse. I quite don't like new people but I like you."
Nurse Gomez smiled, those perfect white teeth of his was full on display. "Thanks, Ms. Alexander. I quite like you too."
Travis coughed, turning our attention to him. He merely shrugged. "What? I just had to cough."
Rolling my eyes, I didn't say anything more, knowing exactly what he tried to do. I stayed quiet for a while, letting the nurse take over and even giving me the directions on what to do as if I've never actually learned how to do it but I'm not really going to say that to him. If I do, I'll get a lot of trouble.
Right after he finished and closed the door behind him, Travis went back to normal, having to wrap his arms around me again, delicate as to not touch the places on my body that still hurts.
"What about you?"
He furrowed his brows. "What about me?"
"Come on, Travis," I took his hand and clasped it around mine. "What's been happening while I've been here? Distract me from thinking too much about what I'm going to do right after I get out of this boring hospital."
He sighed for a while and I see his eyes going distant as if he was living in a memory. "My sister's been working for my parents the whole time. From the very start of talking to you to the very end of the three of them coming together here, in this hospital, wanting me to have a decent conversation with my own parents."
"What?" It sounded ridiculous. Elizabeth was the type who always made it seem that she cared about her brother a lot, and would do anything to protect him. But I guess... I think I already learned a thousand times that not many people are truthful and anyone could always be deceiving. "What happened?"
"There was absolutely no possible way for them to know about the time I went to see you," his tone was stern, angry written in his face. "Then, they had me where they wanted me—be with Holly, be aligned with the company. It was their saving grace. I was the one who saved them from having to lose a big investor to stop them from losing a lot of money. When I was about to fully take over the company and was able to get resources, I pulled out everything I could that day. Turns out, when I told Elizabeth that I won't be coming back, a second after that, she called my parents and then, a day after, she received a huge chunk of money that came from my parents' bank account."
What the hell? It was her all the damn time?
"So, when she was forcing me to break up with you—"
He nodded, confirming the question in my head. "She also received payments when she heard that we were no longer together and she kept receiving payments from them at the time where I felt like I wanted to give up with her plan and just run back to you. It's funny because I really thought she was my sister. Instead, it felt like she as just forced to be stuck with me like my parents were when they had me."
"Oh, no, Travis," Releasing my hold around his hand, I placed it on his hair, my fingers massaging his scalp. "What happened next? Why were they here?"
"They wanted me to go back," his voice lowered, barely a whisper. The sadness etched on his face made me feel both sad and mad at them for him and all I wanted was to try and get revenge for him. "They wanted me to leave you while you were unconscious to go to work because they think that the company will fall apart just because the CEO took the time to take care of his girlfriend. It spiraled down like it always has when they tried to converse with me. They called me ungrateful and my dad started to threaten me but wasn't able to finish it because I shut him down quick.
"They can't do anything to anyone anymore," he stated. "Their privileges went out the window the second they signed the contract I drew up."
"Why? What's in the contract?"
"Handing me over the company a hundred percent. It's iron-clad, no loopholes of any kind so they can't do any backflips to try and weasel themselves in my company. My sister signed it too. They're all so comfortable that I wouldn't do anything because as they think they still can control me and they're too cocky for their own good. They didn't even read the whole thing, just signed it, and believed me when I said that everything what they wanted is in the contract. Now, I mentioned to them what they signed into, I think they'll be more precautious with reading the contract first before signing."
"So, it's over?" I couldn't help but ask.
We've been through enough, and I wouldn't even know what would happen if the two of us have to face another challenge with both sides—my work and his family. All I know right now is that I don't want him to be in a toxic relationship with his family because it'll just break him. Travis was one of the people I view as strong, yes, but there was no denying that he still wanted his family that he wanted to love him or even care for him.
He nodded. "Yeah. It's over."
It just didn't seem like he was happy.
I cupped his cheek, my thumb caressing. His eyes were beautiful as always—like him. "You're sad about your sister?"
Without saying anything, he pulled me in closer, and we just hold one another like that.
Like nothing else mattered.
"I love you, Sammy," he pressed his lips on my forehead.
"I love you too."