Dante stepped forward and Russ lunged in front of him, a firm hand straining against Dante's chest to keep him back. In the meantime, Dakota helped me to my feet. I could barely hold myself up even with his help.
People milled around us as they moved from one room to another, but I was glad that no one had seemed to notice the four of us yet. Which was a wonder considering Dante and Dakota both looked like they wanted to murder someone.
"I asked what you just called him," Dante yelled at me, causing me to wince. And then I laughed because I couldn't think of anything else to do in my alcohol muddled brain. I was definitely not fit enough to be having a conversation like this.
"None of your fucking business," Dakota snapped back at the same time I said, "I'm way too drunk."
Dante tried to step forward again but Russ pushed him backwards with both hands. "You don't want to do this," he told Dante. "We shouldn't have come here."
Dante looked furious, but Dakota said, "No, you shouldn't have. But we're leaving so have fun."
He tried to sidestep them, pulling me along with his arms around my waist and one of my arms draped over his shoulders.
"You're not going anywhere until he talks to me," Dante protested, reaching out and roughly grabbing my free arm.
Dakota, caught off guard, lost his grip on me and I stumbled before falling to the ground; Dante's hand lost its hold on me as well. I was flat on my back at Dante's feet with the wind knocked out of me and I began wheezing as I tried to laugh. I rubbed my eyes as I stared up at the three lacrosse players.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dakota shoved Dante in the chest to get him out of the way before crouching down to try and lift me up again, but I was completely dead weight now as I got lost in a fit of laughter. "Harley, why are you laughing?"
"Because, this is so funny," I choked out between laughter. I wasn't even sure if anyone understood me. "Here I am, lying at Dante's feet again, like some stupid puppy. It's hilarious."
"No, it's not," Dakota scolded, pulling me up into a sitting position. He tossed a livid glare at where the other guy stood, watching us with hate in his dark blue eyes. "He's a selfish bastard who doesn't care about anyone."
"You don't know a fucking thing about me, so keep your mouth shut," Dante hissed.
"I know plenty," Dakota threw back. He stood up to full height to face Dante, abandoning his efforts to help me up. Somehow, I managed to get to my knees and I grabbed onto Dakota's arms to haul myself to my feet again. "You treated Harley like shit before you threw him aside. Not to mention you violated his privacy by telling everyone about—"
"Stop," I said to Dakota, cutting him off and causing him to meet my pleading eyes. "Come on, let it go. He's not worth it."
Dante gripped my shoulder and spun me around to face him. The sudden motion made my stomach lurch again, but thankfully there was nothing left, otherwise I'd have thrown up on him for sure. Part of my muddled brain kind of wished I had, though.
"Why did you call him babe?" Dante asked, his voice quieter and more desperate as his eyes pierced mine.
Russ stepped up and said, "Dante, stop. Just let them go."
"No!" Dante yelled. I looked past his shoulder and saw a few people were stealing curious glances at us now. I felt my face flush at the unwanted attention. "Answer me, Harley."
"It's none of your business," I whispered, holding eye contact with him. It was after I said it that I realized I probably could have done a better job at deflecting his question--preferably one that didn't make it sound like I was trying to lie about my relationship with Dakota--but in my current state, that was asking a bit much.
Judging by the way that he flinched at my words, I guessed he already knew the answer to the question. I tried, but failed, to not feel guilty at the hurt look on his face. Dante's eyes followed the movement as Dakota's arm possessively went down to wrap around my waist and I knew what everyone who was watching would take away from that. The guilt only fell thicker over my skin. Drunk me really needed to get his shit together and never speak to anyone when he was like this.
It was silent among the four of us for a few moments. At first I wasn't sure what was supposed to happen next, but I knew exactly what was about to follow when Dante's face contorted into a look of pure hatred. His eyes were focused on Dakota.
"You're that fucking kid who got off on watching Harley give me a blow job," he hissed as he recalled the memory.
I felt a new wave of dizziness pass through me as I saw the flash of cell phones coming out to capture the moment. There was absolutely no turning back or shielding Dakota from rumors now. I tugged on Dakota, wanting to leave this all behind but he planted his feet firmly to the floor. Dakota set his jaw and I told him we needed to go now.
He didn't move and Dante turned his glare to me. "Are you actually kidding me, Harley?"
I shook my head at his words. "Calm down, it's not--"
"Not what? Not what it looks like? Because it sure as hell fucking looks like as soon as I rejected you, you went straight for him."
"Dante," Russ called, trying to reason with him. "Just drop this. And how about you guys get lost and mind your own business," he said to the two people that were obviously recording us--I noticed with annoyance that the blog owner was there. He pushed their phones out of their hands and then they were all lost in a mostly drunken argument of their own.
Dante--who ignored everything else going on--fixed me with a cold stare. I wasn't surprised when he began to mock me. "Go ahead, Harley. Explain yourself. Tell me everything then if it's not what it looks like since you're such a fucking angel."
His words hit me harder than I'd expected and I snapped without taking a second to think about how bad of an idea it was to keep arguing with him. "You didn't give a shit about me before. Why the hell do you care who I'm with now? Oh wait, I almost forgot," I said with a dry laugh. "It's because you don't like to share your fucking toys, you selfish prick."
I ended my short rant with a fist slamming against his chest. Dante grabbed my wrist and held onto it tightly. His eyes were dripping in distress when he yelled, "I do care!"
"You never showed it!" I countered. "You laughed at me like I was some joke when I said I wanted to be your boyfriend and then you threw me out like I was nothing. I don't know about you but that's not how you show that you care about someone."
He shook his head, still refusing to let me have my arm back. I could practically see the denial written on his face. "So I fucked up! I know that. But I didn't mean what I said to you, you have to believe me. I was just scared of changing our relationship."
"How the hell could I ever trust anything you say?"
"Because it's the truth. I know I messed up with what happened on prom night, but give me another chance, please!"
"Messed up? That's a huge understatement. You outed me to everyone. There's videos of you talking about me everywhere."
"It was an accident, Harley. I got too drunk and I didn't know what I was saying." Dante gave me a look that was equal parts despair and anger. He nodded his head at Dakota who was now standing protectively behind me, but letting me handle things on my own. "Just don't go with him."
"You said everything you needed to. And so did I. I meant what I said to you that night. I'm done with this."
His grip tightened on me as I tried to pull away from his hold again. I felt myself sobering slightly at the pain that shot through my nerves. "You don't mean that! You have feelings for me."
"Not anymore."
"Harley, I need you."
I bit my cheek at his words. I matched his suddenly quieter tone. "No you don't, you need someone you can control and fuck when you feel like it, but that's not me anymore. I'm sick of your shit. Let go of me!"
I managed to shove against him so hard that he stumbled back into Russ who had finally turned to make his way back to us. I noticed that there was a smashed phone on the ground that some guy was fussing over. With Dante's fingers having slipped from my wrist, I rubbed at the sore flesh. His grip had been so tight that my skin was red in the shape of his fingers.
"Fuck," I mumbled as I looked at the marks. I was swaying on the spot again and took a moment to think about how badly I needed another shot to deal with all this shit. I suddenly understood why Dakota drank at so many random times: it eased the pain.
"How long?"
I glanced back at Dante, surprised by his question. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dakota shaking his head. My brain felt foggy. "What?"
"How long have you been fucking him?" Dante asked. His voice was low, and I didn't think anybody else could hear, but the subdued rage was still evident in the way his words shook slightly.
I bit my lip. Dakota whispered don't in my ear as he pulled me towards him, and that was enough for Dante's face to come crashing down with a heavy look of understanding.
"Are--" he cleared his throat as he looked between Dakota and me. "Are you fucking kidding me? You went behind my back, Harley?"
I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. My mouth tasted horrible both from what was happening and the vomiting spell I'd had only five minutes before. Where was Corian with her endless supply of shots when I needed her? Or maybe a mop because somebody needed to clean the floor next to Russ' feet and I was not capable of that right now.
The lack of an answer from me caused something to snap in Dante. He surged forward, breaking past Russ' hold, and shoved both of his hands into my chest with all of his strength. I tried to stand my ground but tripped over my feet. I was far too intoxicated for this. Thankfully Dakota was there, though, and he caught me deftly before I could crack my skull off of the hard floor.
"How could you do that to me?" Dante was asking. For the first time ever, I thought I saw the shine of tears in his eyes, threatening to break like waves in his navy irises. "How could you sleep with him while we were together?"
I shook my head but I wasn't sure why I was trying to console him. "We didn't."
"Was this going on ever since he found us?" Dante asked, gesturing furiously at a stoic Dakota who was holding onto me as if I were about to perish into a pile of dust at any moment. Dante looked absolutely manic, his eyes wild.
"It wasn't planned. It just happened."
"What if I hadn't rejected you? Would you have ever even told me about him?"
"I don't know!" I yelled, feeling overwhelmed. There were a lot more people tuning into our argument now. I could see Nathan and Jason trying to squeeze their way past the gathered crowd. I saw Jason step in my puke and then freak out when he realized this. I wanted to run. "That doesn't matter. You and I aren't together and that's it."
Dante laughed but the noise that hit my ears sounded more sadistic than cheerful. He gave me a look full of pity and I briefly had the thought that I wanted to smack it off of him. "What, did he tell you he loved you or something?" I didn't say anything, but my nails were biting into the skin of my palms as my hands balled into fists of their own accord. "Aww he did, didn't he? Isn't that fucking cute, Russ?"
"Dante," his friend warned.
Turning back to me, Dante gave me a twisted smile and I didn't know if I wanted to cry or disappear more. I already knew what he was getting at and it hit me right in the worst of my insecurities yet again. He seemed to have a knack for that.
"That's cute that you actually believed him." He finished his words with a mocking pout and I'd never despised him more than I did in that moment, never been more disappointed in the way he behaved towards someone he swore he cared about.
I wanted to say so many things to him. I wanted to tell him how wrong he was about Dakota. I wanted to tell him that hurting me wouldn't change anything that was happening between us. I wanted to tell him that he could go fuck himself. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for everything.
Except I didn't say anything at all because I couldn't trust myself to not start crying or carrying on with exchanging more heated words. So I held my tongue and turned to Dakota to see his eyes clouded with so many emotions, I couldn't discern any of them from one another. I squeezed his arm and dragged him--stumbling in my drunken state--after me out into the warm night.
Dakota took a more steadying hold on me and helped me out onto the street. As we walked to where I assumed Dakota had left his car, I could hear Dante calling after us tauntingly, and Russ yelling at him to stop. I glanced over to see them struggling against each other on the house's front steps. I tuned them out and focused on putting my feet firmly on the ground with each step I took.
"I hate him so much," Dakota grumbled as he leaned me against the side of his car to fish for his keys. He unlocked the vehicle with a beep and pulled the passenger door open for me, carefully guiding me in and helping me buckle up.
I leaned my head back against the headrest, willing it to stop spinning. Dakota quickly got into the driver's seat and started his car up. The air conditioning hit me in the face and I flinched, bringing my hands up to swat at the rush of air as if that were going to do anything.
Dakota hurriedly shut it off. "Sorry." I could feel his eyes on me as it grew quiet in the small space. "He doesn't deserve you."
"I don't deserve anyone," I mumbled as I studied my bruising wrist.
"Don't say that," he snapped.
"He's right about everything."
"Shut up. He's not."
I looked him in the eye, serious. "He is, though. I shouldn't have lied to him."
"You didn't lie."
"I wasn't completely honest with him when he was always transparent with me. Same thing as lying."
"You didn't mean to hurt him," he insisted, turning in his seat to face me. "He meant to hurt you. There's a difference there. A huge difference in character."
"Whatever, it's all the same in the end."
"Harley, stop. You can't let him get to you."
I pursed my lips tightly, then said, "Everyone keeps telling me to stop letting people get to me but it doesn't fucking help. You think Dante's an asshole? I'm just like him. Yeah, I had feelings for him, but I let myself get feelings for you at the same time and I shouldn't have hidden that from him.
"He used girls and he didn't care about anyone he slept with, but at least I knew what he was doing. I'm a piece of shit and I can own up to that, but don't tell me it's not true just to make me feel better."
Dakota didn't answer for a while. I could see he was fighting to hold back an agitated response, but instead of saying anything, he just faced forward again and put his car into drive, pulling away from the curb.
We drove in silence, without the radio on. I could just hear the fan blowing and the car humming as it moved through the streets. About halfway back to our neighborhood, I sighed and said, "I'm gonna have to talk to him."
Dakota looked at me sharply, "What? No way."
"He deserves an apology."
"He deserves nothing."
"Kota, come on," I said, reaching over to cover his hand on the steering wheel with mine. "What did I just ramble on about?"
"I just don't like it."
"Why? Worst case scenario he breaks my face with his fist. Best case, he accepts my apology."
"Worst case, he manipulates you into getting back with him."
"Don't be an idiot," I chuckled. "There's only room for one in this relationship and I've already got that role."
"I'm serious."
"So am I. I want to be with you. It may not have started from the perfect situation but this is what I want. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid of how we feel about each other."
A moment passed and then he flipped his hand over to link our fingers together. "I'm not afraid."
I smiled at him. "I know."