[Location: Beacon Academy]
Well, we all knew this was coming. Whenever RWBY is part of a story, most of the time we gotta fuck around in this piss hole of a school. Teenage drama, awkward love interests, a cesspool of unchecked hormones with sharp objects and firearms in the mix. God, I'm happy to have graduated...
Within the school's infirmary, Frank lies unconscious in one of those crappy hospital beds. Still knocked out from receiving a nutsack worth of old man's cane. Also smashing his head against a wall and being submerged in coffee for a short time, but those aren't as funny as getting punted in the balls.
Just outside his room, Ozpin stands by the door as he watches over Frank like some unintentional creep. Taking yet another sip from yet another cup of coffee.
If I may be honest, why do we make out Ozpin with the caffeine addiction? Profe-
Oobleck: Doctor!
Doctor Oobleck literally shows signs of caffeine abuse. Makes more sense to make coffee jokes about him. Just seems like a wasted opportunity...
Anyway, googly eyeing the mystery man from afar, Ozpin is soon approached by his blonde receptionist.
Glynda: I just spoke with team RWBY. I don't know how or why they traveled all the way to the western fringes of Vale, but they are making their way back.
Ozpin: Excellent. Once we have everyone here, maybe we can shed some light on this whole situation. I'm still curious as to how they lost one person for hours in just hive minutes and ended up on the other side of the kingdom.
As he takes a world record amount of sips, Glynda looks over to the still form in the room.
Glynda: So, this the one that's been causing trouble? I must admit, I'm disappointingly underwhelmed.
Ozpin: Looks can be deceiving, Glynda. This man has managed to travel dozens of miles from where he originally was and turn an entire city block on its head in less then a few hours. If that doesn't raise questions-
Peach: Pardon me.
Squeezing by the two is the school's glorified plant teacher and part time nurse, Professor Peach. She makes her way into the room with a medical bag in hand.
Ozpin: As I was saying; if that doesn't raise questions, then we might as well be in a poorly written fanfiction.
Glynda: Well-
Frank: THE FUCK YOU STICKIN' THAT THERMOMETER IN!?
The sudden outburst from the once unconscious man catches the two off guard. Rushing into the room, they spot a half naked Frank standing on the bed with an IV pole in hand. Pointing said pole at a shocked Professor Peach who is currently hugging a wall with her back.
Frank: I DON'T LET PEOPLE SHOVE SHIT UP MY ASS UNLESS THEY'RE FRIENDS OR PROPERLY PAYING!
He spots Ozpin and Glynda and immediately swings the pole towards them.
Frank: Ya want some too!? That's fine, I got plenty for all you queefers!
His continuous shouting comes to an end when Glynda envelops him in a purple force field with her bullshit magical not-magic. Frank, either not noticing or not caring, just continues to shout and swing the pole around. While occasionally grabbing his dick for whatever reason. We'll never know, however, seeing as no sound can be heard through the bubble.
Ozpin: He's got energy, I'll give him that.
Glynda: And why exactly didn't we just let the police arrest him like any sane person would?
Ozpin: Because I'm a millennia old wizard that has lost touch with his sanity and is doped out on coffee.
Glynda: What.
Ozpin: Because I sensed a disturbance in the force.
Glynda: What.
Ozpin: Because, Glynda, something about this individual doesn't seem normal.
Glynda: Obviously.
Back at Frank inside the magical hamster ball, he lifts up a leg just a bit and makes a face. Indicating he just ripped a whicked fart. His expression goes from satisfied release to horrified realization. Inside a completely sealed bubble, that ass gas ain't going anywhere.
Ozpin: Regardless, it would be best to understand what is going on before we even think about handing him over to the authorities. The things that happened in Ghettoville aren't just made up.
Glynda: I still refuse to believe their is a place actually called Ghettoville.
Back to Frank, he has dropped the IV pole and is viciously clawing at the purple bubble. Trying to escape the toxic fumes known as his own farts.
Ozpin: All right, let him out. I think he's learned his lesson.
With a sigh of contempt, Glynda dissipates her magic bubble. Frank topples over and stumbles out of the bed. Gasping like a man fish. Oh yeah, Peach is still in the corner doing fuck all.
Frank: Oh sweet air! I'll never take advantage of you for the rest of the day!
The ripoffs of Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs and Glinda the Good Witch of the South soon approach Frank. Peach now takes the chance of being more useful somewhere else and leaves. Frank, now finding the floor oddly more comfortable than the bed, looks up at the two. Before either of the two can talk, the noxious fumes that were once trapped in the bubble has now spread throughout the room. Specifically up Ozpin and Glynda's nostrils.
Ozpin: Oh "cough" That's atrocious.
Glynda: "gag" Good "cough" Good gods! It smells a skunk ate garlic, chased it down with cough medicine, got ran over and just roasted in the sun! "cough"
After coursing Frank out of the now gas chamber, the three just stand outside and begin talking again.
Ozpin: Right then. Now that we actually have a chance to properly speak, I'm Professor Ozpin. This is Glynda Goodwitch. Now, who are you?
Frank, being somewhat loopy from his own farts, just decides to not answer the question in the most retarded way possible.
Frank: Name's Frank.
Glynda: Frank what?
The urge to sass mouth a bitch suddenly rises.
Frank: Filthy Frank.
Glynda: You can't be ser-
She is immediately interrupted by Ozpin clearing his throat to shut her the fuck up. Before he can talk, Frank interrupts him.
Frank: Look Oldy Locks, as much as I like talking to a blonde with a raging boner, I'd like to do that while wearing pants.
At the moment, Frank is just wearing one of those hospital gowns that don't cover up the ass. Also, it leaves nothing to the imagination as he's sporting a front tent.
[Location: Grimm Castle]
After several hours of nonstop sacrifices, Chin Chin has finally announced to Salem and lackeys that he is satiated. Burnt stuffed animals, melted ice cream, vomit, piss, shit, other fluids, used candles, broken light bulbs, chicken bones, toppings of all kinds, a large assortment of sex toys, a crashed limo, and several dead rats litter throughout the floor. The terrifying trio lie about exhausted with some bruises and lacerations cover their bodies from so many hours of sacrificing.
I'm pretty sure Tyrian got pregnant at some point. I don't know.
Salem struggles to her feet as she looks up to Lord Chin Chin, still seated in her thrown.
Salem: Is that "sigh" to your satisfaction, my lord?
Chin Chin: Mmmmh... Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo. (For now. I can feel my chromosomes slowly returning.)
Sighing in relief, Salem slumps to the ground. Her moment of relaxation is absolutely ruined as the gaint doors leading in open. Take a wild guess on who it is.
Go ahead, guess.
I'm not fucking around.
I'm trying to expand this shtick so you don't accidentally see who it is before guessing.
God, I hate my life.
Cinder: Salem, we've returned.
To no one's surprise, Salem's bottom bitch comes to her bidding... DAMN YOU, INTERNET!
Before Cinder could brown nose her mistress, she looks around at the absolute fuster cluck that the room is in.
Cinder: Were we attacked!?
Salem: No. Cinder, meet Chin Chin. Lord of the omniverse.
Cinder: Who of the what?
As Cinder does a double take on what the hell Salem said, her underlings soon enter the room as well. Albeit with a limp, considering their crotches still hurt from Frank's kicks. They too notice the shit condition of the room.
Mercury: Holy leg day, what the hell did we miss?
Chin Chin suddenly snaps his head up as he starts sniffing the air. The scent of something familiar in this world catching him off guard. He soon draws his attention towards Mercury.
Mercury: The fuck is that?
The dark lord of retardation quickly leaps from the thrown and lands on all fours. Scuttling across the floor and right up to Mercury's balls in ludicrous speed. Taking a big ol' whiff of Merc's sore taint.
Mercury: WOAGH, WHAT THE FUCK?!
He jumps back in shock and disgust as he just curses out. Chin Chin couldn't care less as he now recognizes the smell he's been smelling. And it boiled his blood with hatred.
Chin Chin: Ore wa. (Frank.)
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