16 weeks
"How was the appointment?"
"It went well. Dr. Mays says everything looks good so far and the baby was being uncooperative so we couldn't have found out the gender today even if we wanted to." I smile as I stare at Calum through the iPad screen.
"That's good, and now I feel a little less guilty for asking you not to find out the gender just yet."
I shrug my shoulders, "It's no big deal, it's just a few weeks, besides I don't really have a preference. Do you?"
He smiles sheepishly up at me. "Yeah, I do. I'll love it either way but I have a gut feeling and I want it to be right."
"You gonna clue me in?"
"Nope" He says mischievously with a light laugh. I roll my eyes and shake my head slightly.
"How's tour going?" I ask, changing the subject.
"It's good" he sighs "I just feel torn. Like, I'm having a great time and doing what I love but, I don't feel like this is where I'm supposed to be."
"Hey now, none of that. It's your job. That you love. I'm not having morning sickness anymore, the bump is still basically non-existent, you're not missing anything, Cal."
"I know that's what you say, but I still feel like I should be there."
"If you're gonna do this every time we talk I'm gonna have to stop calling you. You can't just be moping the whole tour. Surely the boys are wondering what's up by now."
"Yeah" he offers. My face scrunches and I want him to elaborate but he doesn't say anything else. I don't want to cause problems, so I drop it.
"What time do you play tonight?"
"We actually don't have a show tonight. We left Amsterdam this morning and got to Germany like three hours ago. We're doing some interviews and then have tonight off."
"I'm sure you all could do with a night off."
"Yeah, they all want to go out. I might just stay in and catch up on some sleep."
"No, you should go with them. You've been working nonstop for weeks, you need a night out."
"They'll be trying to set me up all night" he groans coving his face and rubbing his eyes with his large hands.
"And? You're 22, you're on tour, you're single..."
"Damn, Jes" He says, his voice sounding off for some reason.
"What?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it. I better go, just call me tomorrow. Tell my baby, daddy loves her." He rushes out before stopping and looking away from the screen.
"Her?" I ask with a smile.
"Fuck. Forget I said that."
"Bye, Cal" I whisper as he gives a wave and ends the call.
•
"You're a fucking idiot" Lena informs me after I rehash my FaceTime with Calum from earlier.
"What do you mean?"
"He's literally been the textbook definition of perfect in this situation. He's proven he wants to be here for the baby and for you. He clearly cares about you and you basically told him to fuck off and go get laid."
"You're delusional. He cares about the baby Lenny, I'm just some girl he got pregnant."
"You're more of an idiot than I thought, Jes. It's so clear how much that boy cares about you, at least to everyone but you. If you don't believe me look up the video from last night on Youtube." I narrow my eyes and open up the app on my iPad. I type in '5sos Amsterdam 2018' and click on the video I find of Calum talking.
The video is grainy, but the sound quality is decent, despite the thousand of screaming fans.
"How you doing out there Amsterdam?" His words are met with a wall of screams. "So glad to have you here tonight. We're gonna slow things down for a minute I hope that's okay with you." He pauses to let the screams die down. "This song has become really special to me this tour. Until recently I couldn't really relate to this song, but the past few months have shown it to me in a new light. Sorry, you'll have to forgive me, I'm a bit homesick. I'm not used to leaving someone I care about behind when I'm gone and I'm gonna really need your help on this one. This is Beside You."
I set the tablet on the coffee table and scroll through all the comments speculating about this mystery person he's left back home. There are all kinds of celebrity names thrown out through the comments as people wonder who he could be missing.
I think back on all of Calum and I's interactions. Had I missed something? Was he talking about me? I'd just assumed that he was only invested in our baby. I thought all the care and attention he gave to me was simply for the benefit of the little one, I'd never even thought to consider he may have ulterior motives. My conversation with Lena and the video only confuse me and I find myself wanting to call Cal and hear his voice. I want to ask him what all this means and if what Lena suspects is true. But he's across the world, where it's 3 am, probably drunk and fraternizing with beautiful foreign women, exactly like I'd told him to do.
I try to imagine what it would feel like, to see him with someone else. To know that he was making someone else feel special, fixing their tea, massaging their feet. To know that he would do it for them just because he was interested in them and not because they were carrying his child. The thought alone is enough to make my chest ache. I blink my eyes rapidly keeping tears at bay. How had I missed it? Sure, I'd known him for just a few months now and spent far less time with him than that. But he'd quickly woven himself into the fabric of my life and I realize now, that I'm interested in Calum as more than just the father of my baby.
•
19 weeks
"Calum I'm so fucking proud of you!" I cry through the screen. He's video chatting with me having just gotten to his hotel for the night from the Aria's and the after parties that followed.
"Thanks, Jes. I still can't believe it. Three in one night it's crazy. We went out after and I just forgot what it was like to be home. I feel like I haven't been here in ages." I nod as he tells me about his parents and sister who he was able to see tonight after months apart. "Next time I come I want you to come with me." He blurts out. As soon as he's said it, he seems to reconsider.
In the three weeks since the FaceTime where I'd told him to go out and enjoy his singleness we hadn't addressed that particular conversation. I'd not told him of my possible feelings for him and he hadn't discussed anything further about girls and nights out, with me. I wondered if he was venturing out with the boys or if he stayed in those nights. It wasn't really any of my business, but part of me hoped for the latter.
"I think I'd like that. Australia has always been on my bucket list."
He looks up at me quickly and an emotion that looks like hope dances across his features. He offers a half smile and we return to small talk about the few days he'd be spending with his family before he returned to LA on Monday.
"I'm excited to finally know if I'm right about our little one." He says with a smirk.
"You still really thinking it's a girl?"
"I'm positive."
"I wouldn't mind having a little girl around. I'd love getting to dress her up, making her match me until she's old enough to hate me for it."
His smile when our eyes meet through the screen is wide and vibrant. "She'll be gorgeous if she looks anything like you, no doubt."
I feel the red creep across my face as I blush. I let out a nervous laugh and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.
"If we have a son, I only hope he'll be as handsome as you." I counter back and when I look up I find his face to be the same shade of red as mine.
Neither of us seem to know what to say next. I finally break the silence, "What time should I pick you up from the airport Monday?"
"Um..." he looks unsure before continuing "I think I'm just gonna ride back with Luke and Sierra. I haven't exactly told the boys yet and I don't want the first time you meet them to be so...public."
I nod and try not to let the hurt I'm feeling show on my face.
"Are you gonna tell them soon?" I lift my head to gauge his reaction.
"I want to. I just wanted it to be in person. We need to tell our parents too, and my sister." My eyebrows shoot up. Telling my dad was something I was still struggling to figure out how I would go about. "I'm with my family the next few days and I'd like us to tell them while I'm here, is that okay with you?" He's scratching at the back of his neck like he always does when he's unsure.
"I hate that the first time they hear about me will be us telling them we're pregnant."
"Don't worry about it, Jes. They'll be thrilled they're getting a grandchild. Besides, it won't be the first time Mali hears about you, she's been dying for me to introduce you to her." My ears perk up at this. He talks to his sister about me? A smile forms on my face and for a moment I have hope that maybe my feelings for Cal aren't so stupid.
I tell Cal goodnight and slip beneath my sheets. My hands trail up to lightly rest on my stomach. "Mommy and Daddy love you so much little one."
AN: I stopped it here bc the next part is kind of long and I think this is already the longest chapter. Let me know what you think! Do you think Calum likes Jes? Should they get together? How will their parents react? What about the boys? Lemme know, I love ideas!
Also, I know they didn't play Beside You on the MYT tour but it went with the story so we're gonna roll with it
-Sav 🖤