"Always Coming Back, I Could Not Forget You Girl"
April 29, 1991
Olympia, WA
Dave sat across from me, bags under his tired eyes and facial hair outlining his chin and upper lip from having not shaved in a couple days. He was frantically scribbling lyrics into one of his spiral notebooks while I tiredly sat across from him, holding his free hand in mine.
Neither of us were able to sleep, too eager for our departure to Los Angeles in a few hours. Eventually we gave up, tired of tossing and turning in our queen-sized bed, and made our way to a 24-hour coffee shop down the street.
Since we arrived, Dave has been silently writing while I watched. A kind smile on my face whenever he'd look up. It was a nice change of pace and scenery.
"What do you think?" He flipped the book around so I could read the lyrics messily displayed on the page, some scribbled out and replaced with something else. "It's not finished yet."
'Alone + Easy Target' was splayed across the top of the page, larger than everything else. "Could you play it for me when we go home?"
"What do I get in return for this free show?" He winked playfully, pulling the small book back across the table. "I don't perform for just anyone Rosemary."
I release his hand, crossing my arms over my chest to seem like I was thinking. "I'll wash your laundry while we're in Los Angeles."
"I was thinking of something a little more..." He glances around the empty shop before leaning forward, "pleasurable."
Following his lead, I lean forward into my forearms until our foreheads touched. Using my pointer and middle fingers to slowly walk up his arm. "I might need a little convincing."
"Oh yeah?" His voice was smooth as he breathed the words out. "I may be able to arrange something."
It was nice to feel like we were finally back to having a normal relationship. Some days felt awkward and forced, but I knew they were inevitable. Dave and I went through a trauma together and it'll take time to completely get back to our old selves.
"Hey," his voice pulled me out of my thoughts, "I love you."
"You're a cheeseball."
I thought he was leaning in to kiss me, but it was too late when I realized he had other plans. His tongue slid up my cheek, grazing the corner of my mouth in the process, causing me to jolt away from the brunette man.
As a result of my quick movements, the chair I was sitting on flipped backwards, sending me to the hard floor below. "Shit," I groan.
Dave couldn't hold back his humored laughter as he knelt down next to me. "Guess you really did fall for me."
"Fucker," I mutter under my breath while taking his extended hand. He did his best to cover up his laughter but the shit eating grin on his face made it evident he was still laughing. The barista eyed the two of us with curiosity as he wrapped me into a hug. "Remember who you're sharing a seat with during this drive Grohl."
He leans back, "I'm so scared Pierce."
His words and the cocky smirk on his face tempted me to tease him, but I wasn't in the mood for a public indecency charge this early in the morning. "I hate you."
"You wound me." He places his hand over his heart before leaning down to finally press a light kiss to my lips. The feeling of his mouth against mine caused every negative emotion I was feeling to evaporate. My hands moving up to hold his face and deepen the kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine. "We should probably head back."
I had yet to notice the hazy orange glow over Olympia's buildings until Dave mentioned going home. It was one of the rare mornings that the clouds lifted, giving way for one of the only rain free days this spring.
"I kind of miss Virginia." I pursed my lips and wrap one arm around his waist so I could fully face the window next to our table. "Washington is nice, but my seasonal depression can't take much more doom and gloom."
His fingertips glided up and down over my upper arm, "I miss home too. My mom wants us to come out and visit when we have a chance."
"If that's the case I'll start packing my bags now. I'm in desperate need of a Ginnie homecooked meal." I whisper as we make our way to the door, waving goodbye to the barista on our way out.
---
I lightly run my fingers through Dave's shoulder length hair as he slept on my lap. Smiling every time he would tighten his grip around my waist or nestle his face deeper into my stomach. He only ever looked peaceful anymore when he was asleep, and I knew the nap was well deserved.
"Damn it," I curse under my breath when Krist once again hit a bump in the road, causing my head to slam into Kurt's amp. "Whoever had the bright idea of taking the seats out for this drive is going to feel my wrath when we get to the next rest area!"
Krist scoffed from his spot behind the wheel while Shelli chuckled at my annoyance. "I make the lovers a bed and all I receive in return is criticism. Damn ungrateful kids."
"You obviously don't know what they use beds for," Kurt mutters from his spot behind Krists' seat. He had wrapped blankets around his body like a cocoon, hoping to ease his stomach pain that flared up before we departed this morning. "Because I can tell you, it's not to sleep."
Shelli glances back, her usual motherly smile on her face when she sees me glaring at the blond lead singer. "At least I'm getting some," I mutter under my breath so the other three passengers wouldn't hear me.
Silence overtook the group, only noise being the low hum of the tires against the asphalt road. My eyes caught sight of a 'Welcome to California'sign on the side of the road and I couldn't help but frown at the memory of the last time Dave and I were in the state.
Pete and Franz have still yet to speak to either of us again, which broke my heart. I considered the two siblings my family, especially Pete since he was always protective of me when the band would go out after shows. It was unusual not to ask him for advice on my relationship or give him critiques after soundchecks of what could go better when they played for an audience that night.
Dave stirred in my lap, bringing me out of my thoughts of the past. A childish grin on his face as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, "How long have I been out?"
"About four hours," I shrug, "I think you passed out around Salem."
A yawn escaped his mouth as he sat up to stretch, using my leg as a stabilizer when Krist swerved a bit. "Jesus Krist."
"I'm pretty sure I have a concussion from how many times my head has hit Kurts' amp," I chuckle at his similar response to his bassists' driving. My humor was short lived though, yet another bump was hit, sending my head back into the large amplifier. "Krist!"
"Sorry!"
---
By the time we were settled into our hotel rooms, it was pitch black outside and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. Dave seemed to have other plans though, dropping his overnight bag on his usual side of the bed before turning to leave with his guitar case in hand. "I'll be back in a few hours, love you."
"Okay?" It wasn't unusual for him to up and leave in the middle of the night, but I didn't understand why he was doing it in Los Angeles of all places. Seattle's home, our friends are there for him to jam with in his free time, but here, we're outsiders.
It wasn't long after his abrupt departure that there was a knock on the door, pulling my attention away from one of the books I'd brought along to occupy myself during this month-long trip.
"Up and at em' Rosemary!" The door swung open before I had the chance to get up, revealing Shelli in a scantily clad outfit. "It's girl's night because I'm in desperate need of time away from Krist before I kill him."
"What did he do now?" I chuckle, placing my bookmark on the page I was half way through before closing the book. "Blow up the microwave in your hotel room?"
A groan came from the girl as I pulled my duffle bag onto the bed in search of a suitable girls' night outfit. "No he's just obnoxiously snoring and after being stuck in a car for over fifteen hours with him, I need a to get away."
"At least he's there," I mutter while pulling a pair of black skinny jeans out to pair with a faded Queen tank top I found at the thrift store a few weeks prior. "Dave ditched me within five minutes of our arrival."
Her eyebrows shot up, realizing that the brown-haired Nirvana drummer was indeed not in the room. "We'll have a better time without them. Who needs men? Not us." I nod in agreement, quickly changing my outfit and rushing into the small bathroom to fix my hair and apply some make up to my tired face.
"Let's go!" My enthusiasm shining through as I slip my favorite pair of vans.
It wasn't thirty minutes later that we were in Central LA, walking down Sunset Boulevard hand in hand. Shelli leading us to a local venue Nirvana played at before Dave joined the band. "It's awesome, you're going to love it."
And she wasn't wrong. The underground venue reminding me of those Scream played in, with its sticky alcohol covered floors and heavy smell of cigarette smoke. A hardcore band was on stage, earning the audience's respect as they encouraged them to come up and stage dive.
"Shelli!" The shout caught us off guard as two girls I didn't recognize ran over. Giddy smiles on their faces as Shelli squealed and pulled them each into tight hugs. "I can't believe you're here! Are the guys playing another show that we don't know about?"
She shook her head, "No they're recording the new album up at Sound City for the next two weeks and Krist asked me to come down with him." While the three friends caught up, I waited. Pulling a cigarette out from the pack in my back pocket in hopes of distracting myself.
"Actually, I'm here with my friend, Rosemary." My eyes widen as she pulls me forward, lips clenching around the lit nicotine stick in hopes of keeping ashes from falling on them. "She's the new drummers girlfriend. Rosemary this is Jackie and Laurel. We met the last time the guys played here."
I use my pointer and middle fingers to pull the cigarette out of my mouth, "Hi guys." It was painfully obvious by my tone that I was uncomfortable. The two girls' harsh stares causing me to look anywhere but at them. In situations like this, Dave would usually take it upon himself to excuse us from the awkward encounter, but Shelli didn't understand my body language enough to do so.
"So how many girls have you caught him with so far?" The one I believe she called Jackie asked while popping her hip out slightly. "Musicians, especially drummers and lead singers, are never faithful."
Laurel, or who I assumed was Laurel, nods in agreement. "I've hooked up with a ton of taken drummers when they stopped here on tour. Think they can get away with the shit just because their bandmates have a pact not to tell."
"Guys," Shelli's warning was too late though. I knew I was ghostly pale, wondering where my boyfriend was at this very moment.
Both ignored her though, "Let's get a drink and catch up!" Laurel linked her arm with Shelli's, pulling her away and leaving Jackie behind.
"If you think you're special," The older woman took a step forward, "You're not little Miss. That panicked look on your face says everything I would ever need to know; you think he's out there cheating on you this very moment, don't you?" When I don't respond she continues with her verbal assault, "You're not much, but I know there's a few guys here that would stoop low for a hook up. Go find you one of them and get out of the big leagues because your relationship was doomed from the start."
With that she left me to join her friend and Shelli at the bar. Her degrading words hitting closer to home than I expected due to Dave and I's relationship taking so much time to recover.
"Don't listen to her." My head snapped up, eyes meeting a pair of kind brown ones. "She's only like that because the guys she tries to get with never want anything serious." He took a step closer, letting the light hit his short blonde hair. "Tearing others down is how she makes herself feel better."
The guy was skinny, reminding me a lot of Dave with his muscular legs and arms. The board shorts he was wearing threw me off though. "I'm Oliver by the way," He stuck his hand out for me to shake, "Most of my friends call me by my middle name though."
"And what would that be?" His friendly smile eased my anxiety, giving me the courage to shake his hand. "I'm Rosemary."
"Taylor." The name definitely suited the short haired surfer boy more than his given one. "So, I overheard something about recording at Sound City? Is your boyfriends band signed or something?"
Our hands break apart as I nod, "Yeah they were in the process of switching from Sub Pop to DCG when he joined the band."
A flash of recognition crossed his face, eyebrows raising slightly. "Does this band happen to be Nirvana?"
"Yeah," I chuckle and take a step closer to the blond when a couple drunken adults stumble around us. "I guess they're pretty decorated in the underground scene, aren't they?"
"They're idolized by people down here. Everyone's talking about moving to Seattle just because the scene is so large right now." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his swim shorts, rocking back on his heels.
His words confused me, "I don't get why people think that they have to move to make a name for themselves." My eyes scan over the crowd of teenagers, "I was a part of the D.C scene and it was just as lively in death as it was alive. Most of the music scenes in America are pretty similar anyways."
"I take it you've been around then?" He seems nervous to ask the question and it took me a second to understand the double meaning behind it. "I don't mean to be a dick, but you're really pretty so I wouldn't be surprised if you've dated a lot of guys in bands."
"The question is valid so don't worry about it," I shrug, "Dave and I met back in '87 and started dating a few months later. We've been together ever since and when some things fell through back home, I went on tour with his old band Scream."
Taylor nods, "You don't have anything to worry about then. A guy that young who stays with a girl for more than a couple of months wouldn't just up and cheat out of nowhere." I put on fake smile, doing my best to seem grateful for his reassurance. If only you knew dude...
"So," My eyes lock on his hands that I had noticed sporadically drumming on his thighs throughout our conversation, "I take it you're a drummer as well?"
A childlike grin that made me question his actual age appeared on his face, "I dabble." Everything about his coy response reminded me of Dave.
"Now you sound like my boyfriend," I smile and lean closer so I knew he'd be able to hear me over the music, "Is there a smoking area outside where I can get some fresh air?" His smile faded, obviously thinking our conversation was over. "Want to come?" He immediately nodded, grabbing my hand so we wouldn't get separated during our journey outside.
The cool night breeze felt amazing after walking out of the stuffy venue, "So it's pretty obvious you do more than dabble with the drums Taylor. Are you in a band?"
"Not at the moment," He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "My band kind of fell apart so I'm working on getting some new people together. Maybe even audition for some of the bands that have been advertising in the area. I don't know..."
I paused to take a drag of my cigarette as he leaned up against the venues brick wall. "I think things will work out. You seem like you've got your head on straight and it's pretty obvious you can keep a beat."
"Thanks," I moved so I was also leaning against the wall, "Do you do anything? Play any instruments?"
I grimace, shaking my head to signal 'no'. "I never really found a need to learn how to play music. Listening was appreciation enough. Recently though, I've been looking into producing a little. Kurt mentioned asking Butch if I could sit in with him during their recording sessions."
"I could see that," He nods, pulling his own pack of cigarettes out. "You've pretty much got it made then."
My head tilts up to look at the barely visible stars above, "Things could definitely be better." I was grateful when he didn't try to pry, instead wrapping an arm around my shoulders as a form of comfort.
"You know, you're not too bad for a drummer." I joke, leaning into his embrace so I could rest my head on his shoulder.
I knew he was smiling without looking. Joy just seemed to radiate off the guy and I was in no way used to it. "Not all of us are bad Rosemary."
---
Taylor and I stayed outside, embracing one another for what felt like hours. We got along well and the more we talked, the more he reminded me of my goofy long-haired drummer. I knew if they met, they'd get along perfectly.
We hadn't even realized the show was over until Shelli stumbled outside, finding us laughing at a drunk guy who was trying to climb a light pole across the street. Our goodbyes were short, promising to look for each other's names on the back of CD's in the future for producer or drummer credits.
"So," Shelli broke the awkward silence we'd been stuck in since we left the venue, "Are we going to talk about the guy you were hanging off tonight?"
My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, "Taylor? He was harmless."
"He didn't look so harmless when he kissed you on the cheek," She says with finality in her tone. "I'm not trying to start shit, but that didn't look good on your part. Imagine what Dave would've thought if he saw the two of you together."
I had no idea where this was suddenly coming from, "Shelli he was just a friendly guy I got to talking with. We just sat outside smoking and sharing tour stories."
"Oh, so he's in a band?" I didn't understand where Shelli's sudden annoyance was coming from, but I didn't like it, "Next you're going to tell me he's a drummer too." My silence made he stop in her tracks, "You're kidding me, right? You've got to be fucking kidding me." Her hand went to her short hair, pulling lightly on the ends. "Do you not see it? The guy was basically the west coast, blond version of Dave, Rosemary!"
I push a loose strand of hair away from my face, puffing my cheeks out before finally responding. It was almost three in the morning, so I didn't want this argument to get out of hand. "Shelli listen to me. Tonight, was harmless. I don't love Dave any less than I did when we left the hotel earlier and I didn't do anything that would be considered cheating." My arms cross over my chest while she stares at me. "We talked like siblings and it was nice to hang out with someone who isn't in the Nirvana clique for once."
The older woman shakes her head, as if I was missing the big picture of our conversation. "Just be more careful next time. The two of you have already been through enough shit this year."
With that we part ways, her going down one hallway towards her shared room with Krist while I go in the opposite direction in hopes that Dave would be back. I silently slid my key card into the door, immediately noticing one of the bedside lights illuminating the room.
"Hey," Dave's voice was low, obviously tired from whatever he ran out for earlier. His hair was still damp, signaling that he hadn't arrived much earlier than I did. "Krist said you went out with Shelli. Did you have a good time?"
I nod, opening the bathroom door to finally get ready for bed. Quickly throwing my hair up into a ponytail and wiping the small amount of make-up off before switching the light off. In one swift movement I pulled my tank top off, smiling to myself when I heard Dave's heavier intake of breath.
"So, what were you up to?" Hoping to finally get some information out of him as I changed. "You've been-" I didn't get to finish before his arms were around my waist, pulling me up against his body as he kneeled on the mattress in front of me. "Hi."
"Hi," He pecked my lips, "It's a surprise. That's all I can tell you until your birthday."
I groan, wrapping my arms around his torso, "You know I hate surprises David."
"I promise you'll like this surprise Rosemary." He winked, smacking my ass lightly before falling back onto the queen-sized mattress we'd be sharing for the next couple of weeks. "Now get your cute ass in bed so we can cuddle."
I shake my head, grinning from ear to ear due to his cute demand. Grateful to finally have some reassurance about his late-night endeavors.
The amount of foreshadowing in this chapter guys...
So life advice of the day: If you go to college out of state avoid getting so sick that you have to go to the hospital because getting the insurance payment to them is apparently a huge pain in the ass.
Hope all of your days were better!