Colby's POV
( trigger warning )
" You've reached the voicemail box of DiDi Lopez. "
" Hey it's DiDi I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the phone right now. And if it's Colby then NO I WON'T SHARE MY BROWNIES GOD DAMN IT! "
" please leave a message after the tone "
Beep.
I miss you.. I miss you DiDi. Why'd you leave. " Why'd you leave me? " I whisper dropping my phone on the pile of pictures. If you are wondering yes I'm home alone. Joe and Jon are working out and Renee went to Nicole's.
I sigh and stare at the pile of old pictures. They're all of me and Didi. Me and Didi when we were little up until the age of her death. Twenty one. She was only twenty one. She had so much to live for. I smile seeing a familiar picture. Me and Didi at my first ever match. Back in my Tyler Black days.
" And your winner! Tyler Black! " The announcer says as the bell rings. I won. I can't believe I won. The referee holds my arm up declaring me winner. I smile seeing AJ walk down the ramp and get in the ring. He wraps me in a big hug congratulating me on my win. The crowd screams making us chuckle. We get out the ring and walk backstage. As soon as I open the curtain my cousin Didi jumps on me tackling me to the floor. " Ahhh you did it big bro!! " she screams happily. I laugh and hug her back. " I'm so proud of you. Look at you and your dreams coming true! " she cries. I smile hugging her tighter tearing up because of how happy I am. She's right my dreams are coming true. In just a couple years I bet I'll be the face of the company. " I'm sorry I'm crying I'm just so proud " Didi says once she gets up. I stand up hugging her again. She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. " Just wait in a few years you'll have your own training company I know it " she cries. I wipe my tears quickly not liking to cry in front of people. I hear a click of a camera making us both turn our heads to see AJ smiling at us holding up his camera. Didi flips him the middle finger making me chuckle. He just sticks his tongue out at her playful. " I love you bro I can't believe your dreams are coming true " Didi tells me. I smile. " Thank you sis. I love you and can't wait for you to see all what I'm going to accomplish. Promise you'll be there? " I ask her holding out my pinky to her. Pinky promises are something we've always done since we was in diapers. Even if it was something stupid like I would always let her use the bathroom first. Even though I of course didn't. But pinky promises are something we always do.
She smiles taking my pinky with hers.
" I promise "
But you lied... you aren't here. You aren't here to see what I've accomplished. Even my training company which you were so excited for.
" What will you call your company? " my cousin Didi ask me as she plops down on the couch next to me with our bucket of popcorn. I hum thinking taking a piece of popcorn. " Black and brave " I say after a few seconds. She nods. " How come? " she questions.
" Well black because of Tyler Black and brave because well I'm pretty fucking brave " I tell her making her scoff and roll her eyes. " Ok Mr. I peed myself on the Ferris wheel " she says. I gasp and she chuckles. " Well at least I did it bravely! " I defend. She just rolls her eye's and grabs her phone that is ringing.
" Who is is? " I question. She smile and shows me her phone screen. It's a video chat from the one and only Renee. Renee is Didi's best friend and mine two of course. I smile as she answers it. " Hey biachhh!! " Didi greets.
" Heyyy cunt! " Renee says. I laugh at their name calling. They seem to always call each other a different name on the phone. " Is that a Colby I hear? " Renee ask. Didi laughs and scoots closer to me so Renee can see me too. I wave shoving a handful of popcorn in my mouth. " What are you two idiots up to? " Renee questions. Didi gives a light shrug. " Nothing much we are watching the paperview and talking about when Colby pissed himself on the Ferris wheel last year " Didi says making Renee laugh. " And I did it bravely! " I defend again. Renee claps. " Yes you did! " she says loudly from her laughing. I roll my eyes as they laugh. " Well I'm going to shower. I'll call you later " Renee says. I just wave goodbye being really interested in the paperview. " Love you and love you to COLBY! " Renee yells my name so I pay attention. I just wave again. " He's watching his boyfriend again don't worry he loves you too " Didi says earning a laugh from Renee. I feel a blush form on my face. Didi doesn't know I'm bisexual I haven't told her yet.
I sigh the memory fading away once I hear the familiar ring of my phone. I answer it seeing it's Joe.
" Hey you ok? " Joe's voice ask. I hear Jon in the background asking why'd Joe ask that.
" Yeah I'm ok why? " I ask trying my best to make my voice not shaky from all my crying. " Because I called you like fifteen minutes ago and you didn't answer " he says worry on his voice. I bite my lip thinking of an excuse good enough. " Yeah sorry I was in the shower " I lie.
" Ok well we'll be another hour we're going to get food " he tells me. I take a deep breath not thinking I can go another hour without him. " Ok I'm going to take a nap I have a headache " I lie once again. He says ok and we hang up. I look back down at the pictures.
I take deep breaths and knock on Didi's door. She answers the door seconds later with a smile. " Hey bro " she greets. I smile and she opens the door all the way letting me in. She closes the door and sits on her bed. " What's up? " she ask me laying on her teddy bear that's life sized. Like it's fucking huge. She named it Tommy. I got her it for her birthday last month. She absolutely loves it. " I'm gay " I blurt out. I quickly cover my mouth that not wanting to be how I said it. She tilts her head sideways looking at me. After a few seconds she realizes I'm serious. " Ok. Ok that's ok " she smiles. I let out a breath of relief. " Thank you for telling me. I'm happy you trust me " she says to me. " Now let's watch your boyfriend " she says patting the bed wanting me to sit. I laugh and sit down and she turns on WWE.
" Didi? " I ask looking in the living room. I got a call from her but I didn't answer it because I was with a wrestler that has a training company. I was talking to him about finally starting my training company. That's right I'm finally going to start black and brave. Once I check every room besides hers I knock on her door. When I don't get an answer I knock louder this time. She's usually never asleep at eight pm. I get no answer again so I go to open her door but it's locked. Huh she never locks her door. Maybe she has a boy in there. I don't know I don't think she'd do that. I grab a penny from the kitchen table and unlock her door then put the penny back. I open her door confused to see her not there. I look at a red spot on her sheets. Her period must of came right? I tilt my head in confusion seeing a note on her pillow. I grab it quickly.
Hey whoever's reading this,
I'm sorry but I won't be here anymore. I can't do this. It's stupid. Living is stupid. I feel like I have no one. Like nobody cares for me. And I've been feeling this way for a while now and I cant take it anymore. I cant take the fact that I'm so broken. Im broken beyond repair. Auntie if you are reading this I love you and thank you so much for letting me live with you ever since diapers. I know I was a handful but you no longer will have to worry about me. Uncle P, I know you aren't blood related but you still are family and I want you to know I love you too. You were also there for me. It may not of been since diapers but it's been a while. Thank you for letting me live in your household. I'll be out of your way now. and Renee. My best friend. You are the best you cunt. I love you so fucking much and I'm going to miss you but know this is what's best. Take care of Colby please. And lastly big bro I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so much. And I know you're the one most likely to find this. You probably have big exiting news. Or you just want brownies. You can have all the brownies you want now my friend. Thank you for being the best big bro anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for telling me all your secrets. Thank you for the amazing memories. I love you and keep reaching for your dreams. I know you'll achieve them champ.
Sincerely, DiDi
I drop the note fast and run into her bathroom. I scream at the horrifying sight. She's laying on the floor covered in her blood. Her blood that she sliced from her wrist. There's three bottles of empty pills next to her. I take out my phone dialing 911 even though I know it's to late.
" 911 what's your emergency? "
" My sister s-she killed herself "
I slowly get up walking to my luggage. I grab a blade and a bottle of Tylenol from it and walk in the bathroom. I run the water and grab my phone sending Joe a message saying I love him. I grab a pen and paper.
I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. Just know this time it'll work. I love you Joe. I wish you the best. My best friend Jon just know I'm in a better place. Renee just know I'm with Didi now. We're happy together again. I love you guys and I'll miss you so much.
I set it on my pillow and step in the tub with all my clothes not caring. I just can't take the pain anymore. I slowly run the blade across my skin seeing the thick red gooze to run out. I do it until I'm satisfied then I go to my next arm. I grab the bottle of pills and take them quickly. I already start to feel light headed from the blood loss. I hear the door open making me stop in my tracks. " Hey Colby I'm back! " I hear the voice of Renee. " Colby? " she ask. I feel myself losing sight. My eyes slowly start to close as I hear Renee calling my name.
" I'm sorry " I say before everything turns black.
Renee's POV
" Colby? " I ask again not getting any answers. I walk in him and Joe's room. There's a pile of pictures on the bed. I look at the dresser seeing a note. A note? Oh FUCK. I run into the bathroom hearing something from Colby but I couldn't tell what it was. He's in the tub bleeding. I look to the floor seeing the empty bottle. I quickly turn the water off and grabbing my phone sobbing. I dial Jon's number and it starts ringing. " Come on Colby don't die on me " I say slapping his face gently as that will wake him.
" Hello? " Jon's voice ask. " JON get here now. Colby killed himself. He-he's in the tub bleeding everywhere " I say with a panic. I hear Jon screaming at Joe to come on. I quickly hang up and call and ambulance. " Colby come on. You can't leave me too please. Please don't go " I sob desperately trying to wake him. Someone grabs my side so I look to see Jon and Joe. I move so Jon can pick Colby up. " Joe get my keys " Jon tells Joe who's fucking sobbing. " An ambulance is coming " I tell them.
" He has a better chance of living if we just take him there " Jon says. I nod and look at the bed. I see pictures of Didi scattered all over. I smile slightly seeing her face again. I quickly grab the note Colby left on the pillow before anyone else can read it. I know Colby's going to survive this. I just pray he will..
Jon's POV
" Oh my god " I hear Joe cry. I look at him. He's next to me but instead he's in a chair. I'm sitting in the floor which probably isn't sanitary. Renne is getting us some coffee. We are in the waiting room of the hospital. We don't know if Colby's alive or not they won't tell us. Joe seems to be reading something on his phone. " He fucking texted me saying ' I love you ' minutes before Renee called " Joe tells me. I nod my head a bit understanding.
" Joe it's normal for Colby to randomly say he loves you. He's done it to me many times. At first I thought that was weird also but it's just something he tends to do " I tell him hoping to calm him down. I always outside tend to be calm in situations like these. I mean inside I'm fucking freaking out but I don't want to show it and freak Renee and Joe out.
" Yeah well now he's dead " Joe says. " He's not dead! " I yell slightly shocking him. I stand up and grab my phone. " I'm taking a walk, stay here " I say and walk outside. I take a few deep breaths breathing in the air. I groan seeing a familiar car. Dolph gets out along with Joe's cousins. I don't think they let Dolph go anywhere without someone. They walk over to me.
" How is he? " Josh ask. " I don't know. We haven't heard anything " I tell them. " Why are you out here? " Dolph ask me and Josh slaps him in the back of the head for asking stupid questions. " Joe was annoying me " I say as we step back inside. " Who found him? " Dolph ask. I roll my eyes knowing that until we get news about Colby this is how it's going to be. Joe being negative. Renee crying and Dolph asking non stop questions.
" Renee found him " I answer sitting on the chair next to Renee. She hands me my coffee and I thank her. Joe's cousins kind of hug Joe. Joe doesn't hug back and they obviously knew he'd do that by the way they hug him. " He's going to be ok " Jonathan says to Joe. " I bet the food here is horrible " Dolph says. I just roll my eyes and ignore him. " What the fuck are you talking about? " Joe ask confused and irritated.
" Ooh someone's angry " Dolph says. I groan as Joe goes to hit him but gets held back by his cousins. " What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course I'm angry. The love of my life just killed himself " Joe says to Dolph voice getting louder. I see a few old people give us a look as they walk out the building. Oh well I'm sorry your mother died Susan but we're having problems too. Fucking cunt. Renne gasp at the fact that Joe said Colby is the love of his life.
" Oh like you didn't know " Joe tells her pissed off. I glare at him for talking to her like that. " Don't give me attitude. If you wasn't for me your fucking boyfriend would be dead right now! This isn't just hard for you it's hard for all of us so stop giving us fucking attitude! He's our best friend too! " Renee scolds him. Joe just calls us a bunch of birches and walks out. He's probably going to get some fresh air. He needs it.
" Fucking selfish cunt " Renee mumbles making me give a chuckle. " I've never heard you cuss " Josh says to her. She shrugs and takes a drink of her coffee.
Colby's POV
Everything is white. I literally think I'm stepping on some fucking care bears house or something. I look around seeing nothing. Am I dead? Is this what being dead feels like? I thought it'd be more exciting. " Hello? " I call out. My eyes widen at my voice. I sound different. Calmer. I look around seeing nothing. That's when I spot a golden door. Thank god something other then white. I start walking towards it. I slowly reach my hand to knock when I reach it. It opens and my eyes widen seeing a fucking floating ass elf in front of me.
" Don't be scared my dear. You're safe here " he tells me. " What's your name? My name is Stevie " he ask me. " Uh Colby " I say hesitate. He smiles. " Lovely name. Now are you a visitor or a mover? " he ask confusing me. What the fuck is the dude on? How is he fucking floating? I wanna fucking float like that. Looks cool as hell. I go to answer him when I hear a female voice cut me off.
" He's a visitor " the female says. I look to see the one and only Didi. " Ok what the fuck is going on? " I ask. The floating elf gasp making me look at him. " How are you in the air like that? And how do you have wings? " I ask him.
" Stevie I apologize. This here is my older brother Colby. He doesn't know the rules " Didi says to the elf man. He nods his head. " Well my friend. I'm an angel. And you have reached heaven " Stevie says. My eyes widen at his words. " H-heaven? " I ask. He smiles and nods. " Come on in. Take a look around " he says. I look at Didi and she reaches her hand out for me to take it. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I take her hand and start walking in the odd place. I see more and more Stevie's flying around. Some females some males. They smile and wave making me uncomfortable.
" This here is my home " Didi tells me pointing to a cute little cottage. It's white if you wanted to know. She opens the door and steps in. She waves signalling that I can come in. I slowly walk in. The first thing I see is her bed. And guess what's on it. Tommy. The bear I got her for her birthday. I smile and point at it.
" He's still here " I say. She laughs and nods. " Yeah he's still here " she says. I walk over to her bed and sit. Holy duck it's soft. Did she like kill a kitten or something? " Holy moly this is soft " I say. She nods and laughs. I look around to see some framed pictures of me. Some of Renee too.
" Why are you here? " Didi ask suddenly. I shrug. " I mean like why? Why did you chose to do that to yourself? " she ask. I sigh knowing she's talking about killing myself. " Why did you? " I ask her. She doesn't say anything so I stand up and walk to a dresser. I see a unfamiliar pink bear.
" Renee gave it to me days before I died " Didi says. I nod. " Colby I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you " she apologizes. I look at her. She's wearing a white dress. The same dress I found her in. " This was my faith Colby not yours " she says. I tilt my head in confusion. I realize for the first time that I do that a lot. Maybe my spirit animal is a dog.
" I didn't have many people. Sure I had you and Renee. Auntie and uncle P but that's about it. You have a lot of people. You have Renee still. You have Jon who loves you very much. You have all your coworkers. Your training company. You also have Joe " she tells me.
" You know about Joe? "
Joe's POV
I kick at a rock. Nothing interesting about this rock. Plain old grey rock. I sigh and sit on a bench. I miss Colby and I don't even know if he's dead or not. I mean he looked pretty dead to me. I wipe my eyes when I see people walking in the hospital. I don't like people to see me crying. It's weird. I look at the sky. I see a very odd glow. God? Haha nah. He's not real. Maybe it's Colby. My heart drops as I think of that. Holy hell is that Colby? I've never seen a glow in the sky like that before. I wonder if he can see me? I flip the middle finger just in case he can. I don't mean it though. He knows I don't too.
" I really hope your alive Colby. I can't live without you. I know I can't " I say to myself. I stand up after a few minutes and decide to head back in. I see them all still in their spots. I sigh and sit down away from everyone. I don't want to be near anyone. I turn my head to look out the window. I furrow my eyebrows when I see the glow in the sky again. Is the world about to blow up or is that Colby's ass fucking with me. I take out my phone and take a picture. I then send it to Jon.
Me: So I was outside in the front of the building and I saw this weird ass glow. I come back in and now it's over here.
Jon: it's stalking you. You have a stalker.
Me: shut up. This is creepy. It's like following me.
Jon: you'll be fine.
Me: think it's Colby?
Jon: could be. Respect the glow peasant
Me: 🖕 u and the glow
Jon: you did fuck the ' glow ' many times
Me: 👨❤💋👨
Jon: is that two gay guys kissing? 😂
Me: yup 😂
Jon: the hell.. 😂
I laugh and turn back to the glow. I sigh. I hope that's not Colby and it's just a odd spot in the sky. I walk over to Jon and everyone and sit. " Respect the glow hoe " Jon tells me. I laugh and flip him the finger.
" Lopez family? " We hear someone ask. We turn to see a nurse with a sad look on her face. My heart sinks knowing he's gone. Colby's gone.
Colby's POV
" Come look " Didi tells me walking over to a glass table. I walk over to it and look at it. Woah. I can see everyone. I can see Jon, Renee, Dolph and the usos. " Where's Joe? " I ask worried. She taps on the glass making it look outside the hospital. I see Joe kicking at a rock. " He looks sad " I mention.
" Yeah no duh " Didi says. I roll my eyes and watch as Joe walks to a bench and sits. He stares at the ground for a while then looks at the sky and jumps a little and Didi laughs.
" What? " I ask her confused. " He can see your glow " she says. My what? " My glow? " I ask. She nods. " Yeah when someone close to you dies there is a glow in the sky that day. Some people don't see it and some do. Only people that knew you can see the glow " she says explaining. I nod understanding. Wait dead? I'm dead?
I gasp as Joe flips my glow off. Didi just laughs. " Meanie " I say knowing he can't hear me. Joe then sighs. I frown knowing he's probably so sad. " I hope your alive Colby. I can't live without you. I know I can't " Joe says. Didi looks at me sadly then taps the glass as Joe walks inside.
" Wait so I'm dead? " I ask her. She shakes her head no. " But there's a glow " I say. " You aren't dead Colby. You are in a coma. If you was dead you'd be really white. You'd also have a house by now. " she says just confusing me even more.
" Colby you need to go back to them " Didi says. I look at her. " You need to wake up " she tells me.
" But I don't want to leave you " I say truthfully.
" Colby I'll always be here. I can see you all the time. Just look up at the sky when you miss me I'll make a quick glow. But you need to go back to them. Your life isn't far from over yet. You have so much to accomplish. You can be so much more successful with your company. And your job. Let's beat the fucking Undertaker or something. You can buy a damn mansion. You can get married and have children. Your friends need you ok? Joe's going to end up killing himself. Do you want that for him? And he has a daughter. He needs to be alive. Be alive for him. For Jon and Renee. You haven't accomplished your dreams just yet. Get married to Joe. have children ok? Be the face of the company. Help people who wanna wrestle get into WWE. Train them. I'll always be here Colby. But this was my fait. My decision. And truthfully I regret it a lot. I promised you I'd be there. Even though I am I'm not how you wanted me to be there. I love you Colby. Your my brother. Take care of Parker please. And achieve your dreams. You have so much to live for " she says to me.
" But- "
" But nothing. " she gives me a quick hug. Once we pull away I can see her crying. " I'll miss you " she says. " Now wake up Colby! " she yells.
" What? " I ask not knowing how to wake the duck up.
" WAKE UP COLBY! WAKE UP! "
Didi POV
" WAKE UP COLBY! WAKE UP! " I scream. I open my eyes to see him disappeared. I quickly run to the table. I see everyone who was there. But I see a doctor. She looks sad. I bite my lip and hold my breath hoping he made it alive.
" Nurse Hanna! He woke! " I hear a doctor yell. A bunch of doctors run into a room. I see Joe try to go in to but Jon holds him back. I tap on the room to see Colby sitting up gasping for air. I scream happily and I feel someone hug me. I turn to see it's Colby's biological dad. I smile and hug him.
" He made it! He freaking made it! " I cry happy tears.
Colby. You made it.
Or did you?