Hey, faeries. I gained inspiration for this at, lemme check the time, ten to three AM. This is really random and I'm half-asleep but my brain refuses to shut up, so I guess I'll write to give it something to not shut up about.
I've also listened to Another Day of Sun about a billion times today, and I suspect that I'll relate to it very much sometime in the future, which probably isn't making my brain any quieter... WITHOUT A NICKEL TO MY NAME, HOPPED A BUS AND HERE I CAME, COULD BE BRAVE OR JUST INSANE- WE'LL HAVE TO SEE
Also, I read a story with an interesting personality headcanon for Claudius that I really liked, so you can expect to see him portrayed quite differently from how you're used to.
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~ Hamlet's PoV ~
"Hey, M-Mom? Can I talk to you?"
"Just a moment, hon!"
I anxiously bit my lip as my mother backed carefully down the rickety ladder to the attic, dusting her hands off when she reached the bottom with an I Accomplished Something look on her face.
"And that's the last of the boxes. Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?" She asked.
I foundered for a moment, opening and closing my mouth in hopes that the right words would magically come out. Ha, puns.
"Is this a back step talk?" She guessed, her warm eyes giving me a sympathetic look through the lock of (dyed) blonde hair that refused to stay out of the way.
I nodded gratefully. Thank God for parents that notice things.
"Do you want Claudius too?"
I shrugged, which she took as a hesitant yes. I'd never been as close with my uncle as I was with her, but what better way to develop familial relationships than deliver life-changing news you weren't prepared for any more than they were?
And so, at the head of the little train we'd created and added my uncle to, I traipsed out the back door of the house and collapsed ungracefully onto the cold concrete outside. My mother and Claudius followed with more care and less speed.
"Alright. We're both here, and listening. It's just the three of us. What would you like to say?" She coaxed, giving me an encouraging smile that Claudius copied.
"You know we'd never judge you, buddy," Claudius added.
I nodded sullenly and swallowed hard. Their Encouraging shifted to Concerned as I failed to give them any reason not to be.
"I-I um... I've, uh... I realized I'm-" I bit my lip.
I took a deep breath and resolved to try as many times as it took to get the words out.
"So, I've got this crush..."
Not exactly the way it was meant to go, but sure.
"Oh, I see! Is it that sassy one you always hang out with? Polonius' girl? What's her name, Ophelia?" Claudius asked teasingly. My mother whacked him gently on the arm with a smirk.
"Actually, n-no, that's what I wanted to tell you..."
The adults' knowing smiles faded back into Concerned when I began fighting tears. My mother pulled me into an embrace with an "Oh, Hamlet," that managed to not be awkward despite our positions and the fact that Claudius joined in halfway through.
I stuttered into her shoulder for a moment, dampening her shirt, and she pet my hair.
"Shh, shh, you're okay. This must be something pretty important to you, huh?" She murmured comfortingly into my temple. Claudius placed a strong hand on my back and moved it in small circles, and I leaned into the touch.
"IhaveacrushonaboyandI'mprettysureI'mgay." Well that was a word dump. And apparently an unsuccessful one, because both adults just looked lost.
"Sorry, my ears can't keep up with you, repeat?" Claudius said.
"I-I'm gay," I relayed in simpler terms, not even trying to hold back the sob that followed.
"Oh. Oh!" My mother exclaimed, her Concerned making way for a relieved smile. "Oh, honey, I thought you were going to say you'd been cutting or gotten death threats from a mafia or something!"
I thought briefly (and guiltily) about the week-old scars underneath my sleeve, but disregarded them when I was pulled into a tight hug.
To my slight surprise, it was Claudius who had embraced me. He pulled back with a proud grin and held my shoulders.
"I'm so glad you told us," he said with absolute sincerity.
"Is Horatio gay too?" My mother piped up. I gave her an incredulous look.
"Why w-would you think that?" I spluttered.
"Because your mother and I are eighty-nine percent certain he likes you," Claudius answered.
I must have looked completely flabbergasted (would more people use this word? Please?) because they exchanged a glance before he continued.
"He's been giving you pining stares when you're not looking for years, poor boy. Just last week, I remember, he was eating dinner here and he heaved the most lovesick sigh I've ever heard when you went to clear your plate."
I thought back for a moment. It made sense, dammit. The lingering hugs, the patient smiles, the worried texts at one AM after a bad day making sure I wasn't cutting where I lied and said I wasn't...
"I need to talk to Horatio," I mumbled.
We exchanged the usual I love you's as I jogged around the side of the house to my bike, but there was something different about this round. There was a certain weight to them, and we all knew that these were more than the routine reminders. I smiled to myself as I stood on the pedals in turn to build up speed.
I texted Horatio the words "Back step" after my tires skidded to a stop on the gravelly dirt beside his garage. A moment later I heard the screen door slam and he came running out to where I always waited.
"Hey! What's this about?" He stopped himself before he hugged me, giving me a joking accusatory look. "I'm not subject to another existential rant on this fine Saturday, am I?"
"Not today, I'm afraid," I laughed.
"Then why the urgency?"
"Back step. Please."
Once we were settled into the universal We Need To Talk location, me sitting cross-legged and him leaning against the railing, I took a fortifying breath.
"Can... c-can I try something?" I asked.
Horatio nodded.
"Okay. Um, close your eyes."
He raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Just trust me," I added.
He did. I leaned in as slowly as humanly possible. I didn't dare to breathe for fear of him opening his eyes and shoving me away.
I thought it was totally unfair how Hollywood portrayed first kisses. There was no wind, no music, nothing like that. It was just a simple touch of lips and then it was over. Screw you and your lies, Hollywood.
Horatio opened his eyes as I pulled away.
"My lord, why did you-"
"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, it was just my mom and uncle, they had a stupid theory-"
"My lord."
"-and I shouldn't have listened to them, I'm sorry, I've probably totally ruined our friendship and I get it if you hate me now-"
"My lord, please."
"-or never want to speak to me again, I just got too hopeful because I really like you, and I have for a long time, I think, but I wouldn't admit it to myself because I-"
"Hamlet!"
That shut me up. My eyes snapped to his as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
"You didn't give me time to kiss back," he said, rolling his eyes a little.
Before I could even get one more word out, his lips were back on mine and his hands were on my neck and mine were on his waist and holy shit, he was a really good kisser.
We eventually broke apart for air (to the rejoicing of my lungs and the dismay of the rest of me). Dazed, I ghosted my finger over my lips.
"I think I'm in love with you," I breathed before I could stop myself.
"Good, because I think I'm in love with you too," he responded.
Simultaneously, we both burst into laughter. It was the kind of laughter that made you forget you needed to breathe until you were about to die. The kind that hurt just enough to remind you that you should probably stop but you wanted it to go on forever. The kind that I realized only really happened to me around Horatio.
I fell in love with my best friend.
And I'm pretty sure it was the best thing I've ever done.
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Ah, there we go. Finally done. I intended to get this done last night (earlier today?) but my eyes decided not to stay open, so I thought I should put it down.
I just picked an epic bowl of wild raspberries from my yard and my legs are SO scratched up, oh my God-
And I'm going to Arizona soon to see family, so that will either boost or stop the writing for a week or so. I'm not dead. Just in another state.
Until next time, faeries. May your coming out go well, and not happen at all if it's not safe to do so. Seriously, if you might be in danger, don't do it. Just wait. Please.