You are my home.
It sounds like a romantic line taken straight out of a book and I'm surely not the first and last guy to ever tell that... but she is my home. The only one I ever had.
With the Salvatorres I grew up with, I felt different. Despite being filled with care and love all the twenty-one years with them, pakiramdam ko iba ako; pakiramdam ko lagi akong may kailangang patunayan sa kanila. With my real parents, there's a wall we can never bring down. They didn't know I was alive until recently. May kanya-kanya na rin silang mga pamilya. Although their families have both been welcoming, I didn't know exactly where I fit in the picture. And with the relationships with my past girlfriends? Those felt like time bombs waiting for the right moment to let it all end.
And then there was Aya... In the most confusing moments of my life, she came to me. She challenged things I believed in. She made me feel things I didn't know existed. And all the while, with her, I could be just how I want to be. Wala akong kailangang patunayan. Hindi ko kailangang hanapin kung saan ako lulugar. With her, I felt peaceful... even if my life was a mess.
That's why when she left, I was devastated. I felt like a lost child who didn't belong anywhere. All I ever wanted to make her happy and yet I have miserably failed. That was how it felt.
But in the end, all the pain was worth it. Because with that, she found what her heart yearns... what her dreams are and how she could achieve them. Kasabay noon ay naayos ko rin ang buhay ko. I ceased being a Salvatorre; I got a clearer view of my past, of who I really was-- a Romualde... and a Romualde can end up with a Salvatorre. No more questions on morality and legality.
And right now, as she walks down the aisle towards me, I couldn't stop these fucking tears from falling. We've been through a fucking lot.
"Kuya, akala ko sabi mo walang drama?" I heard Japoy asked me as I wiped my cheek.
"Gago, anong drama?" I hissed, defensive, my eyes still fixed on Aya who was walking in the aisle with her mom and dad.
Bakit kasi ang haba nitong cathedral na pinili namin eh konti lang naman ang invited?
Fuck it.
I tapped Japoy's shoulder. "I can't take this," I said, impatient as I make my way to Aya. I could see from my peripheral vision the attendees' necks move to follow me with their eyes, but I didn't care. I was even quick to catch Ella rolling her eyes. Nasa gitna pa lang ng cathedral sina Aya nang umabot ako sa kanila.
"Ma, Pa, I can take her from here..." I told her dad and mom. Hindi ko alam kung hinihingal ba ako kahit ang lapit lang naman nang brinisk walk ko o kinakabahan ba ako.
Aya's mouth was hanging open. And then she looked up to me.
So fucking beautiful.
"You're supposed to wait there," she said, pointing at the empty space beside the best man, Japoy. "Didn't we rehearse this? Hindi ka marunong mag-follow ng instructions!"
Ngumiti sa akin si Papa. "Always a step ahead," he commented with pride. He gave Aya a glance and looked back to me, "I will not give you the responsibility to make her happy, son. But I'd ask you to let her be happy. She'd know it best. Siya ang may alam kung paano siya sasaya. That's why she chose you after all."
"Papa..."
Tumango ako. "Thank you, Pa."
"Para ka na talaga naming anak no'n pa man," her mom told me. "Maybe this is why it has always felt like that. I'm happy its you, Paolo. Alagaan mo ang unica hija ko."
"Susumbong ko siya 'pag 'di niya ako inalagaan. Kapitbahay lang naman namin kayo ni Papa."
We laughed and then they smiled when they looked at me and Aya. I each gave Papa and Mama a quick hug. This is my family.
"Thank you... Maraming salamat po," I said more sincerely this time. I mean it. I mean it more than I can ever tell them.
He flashed a smile and held Aya's hands. "Always take care."
Mama prodded, "You, two, go... The guests are waiting."
Aya's nose crinkled. I knew she was trying not to cry. I held her hand, "Trust me?"
She sniffed, "Of course."
I held her hand tighter. "Let's go?"
She took a deep breath and faced the altar. I let go of her hand to offer my arm. She obliged and linked her arm with mine as we walked down the aisle...
Together.
No more waiting game.
"Atat na naman," Japoy snickered when Aya and I reached the front of the altar. I would have flashed him my middle finger but I didn't want to get kicked out of my own wedding.
The whole wedding was solemn. Whenever I attended weddings, I just wanted it to be over. But right there, I just enjoyed every moment of it. I was free to be vulnerable and free to tell whatever my heart wanted to tell... because I knew the people around us are the ones who'd support Aya and I every step of the way.
Aya's right. We didn't need to show this to the whole world. These people, our family and friends, are the only ones we need here. And of course, we need each other. Always.
"Ayanna Celine and Trystan Paolo, please join hands."
We looked at each other and smiled before we held each other's hands.
"Ayanna Celine, do you take Trystan Paolo to live together in the union of marriage? To take him as your best friend and partner in life? To honor, cherish, and love him, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for all of your days?"
"I do."
"Trystan Paolo, do you take Ayanna Celine to live together in the union of marriage? To take her as your best friend and partner in life? To honor, cherish, and love her, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for all of your days?"
"I do."
After that was the candle lighting which was followed by the exchange of rings.
"The wedding ring's circular shape reflects unending love. No beginning and no end. Wear these rings proudly and let them remind you of your love and commitment for each other," said Father. "Ayanna Celine..."
Aya nodded and looked at me. Kinuha niya ang singsing at pinuwesto ko ang kamay ko.
"Trystan Paolo," she called my name. "With this ring, I take you as my husband..."
Husband.
Husband!
"And I promise to love and honor you... to love you in happiness and love you even more in sorrow. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this day forward. This ring," she said as she slid the ring to my finger, "shall symbolize my never ending love, patience, and commitment to you."
"Trystan Paolo..."
Ngumiti ako kay Father at binalik ang tingin kay Aya. For a moment I was just looking at her as I held her hand. She pressed my hand as worry flashed across her face, her eyes asking why I'm taking this long.
I caressed her hand with my thumb. "I love you," I said. I've memorized my wedding vow so well, but at that moment they didn't feel enough and I don't think any words will be ever be.
"I love you, Aya. This moment... Sharing this moment with you isn't something I thought was possible. We've been through a lot, haven't we?" I smiled as I held her hand more firmly, "I love you every second of my life for more than a decade now and my brain, my heart, and every inch of my body will never have a plan to stop. All the moments we are together and all the moments we were apart, I love you. And those moments we were apart will always remind me how miserable life could get without you... I'm not going to let it happen again. For the rest of my life and the infinity after that, I vow to love, respect, and cherish you and with this ring, please accept my love and faithfulness..."
I slid the ring to her finger. "And ah, before I forget... I vow to annoy you forever."
She laughed and murmured,"You're crazy."
We faced the altar and the priest gave us blessing.
"With the power vested in me, family and friends, I am pleased to pronounce Ayanna Celine and Trystan Paolo as husband and wife, sealed together today in law and in love... Trystan Paolo, you may now kiss the bride."
Muli kaming humarap sa isa't isa. She's laughing as I lifted her veil.
"Ba't ka tumatawa?" mahina kong tanong.
"Nakapikit kasi 'yung Mama mo. She doesn't wanna see this," she said. I looked at Mama Carissa and her eyes were really closed. Natawa rin ako.
"I'm gonna kiss you now, wife."
She closed her eyes as I leaned in to give her a kiss. Slowly, she opened her eyes and told me, "I didn't know you could still kiss rated PG, Paopao. The months of abstinence did you good."
Without a second thought, I pulled her closer as I snaked my hand on the small of her back. She laughed and my mouth dives in to give her a full kiss. I've heard gasps from the crowd and I'm pretty sure it was Mama Carissa's that was loudest.
"Mamaya ka sa'kin," I whispered before I pulled away.
Mukhang gulat si Father nang humarap kami ulit sa kanya. He cleared his throat and said, "For the first time, everyone, Mr. Trystan Paolo Romualde and Mrs. Ayanna Celine Romualde."
There was an applause from our families and a roar of cheers from our friends. Pero isa lang ang tumatak sa tenga't isip ko.
Ayanna Celine Romualde.
My wife.
We had our first walk as husband and wife in the aisle of the cathedral. I held her hand tightly even though I know that no one can take her away from me from hereon.
--
The reception was held in Recettes Secrettes for three reasons (1) we've shared so many memories here, (2) the food and ambiance are top notch and (3) it's free... Ito raw ang regalo ni Riyu at Sky sa'ming dalawa ni Aya. Sabi pa nga ni Aya na ito raw pala ang dahilan bakit ang lakas ng loob kong mag-imbita nang kahit gaano karami.
"Tired?" I asked as I tucked her hair on her ear.
Umiling si Aya. "Sobrang saya ko ngayon, Paolo. I'm happy because the people I love are all here and I'm holding the hand of the man I love most." She sniffed, "Kanina sa simbahan, when you gave me the ring and said all those... Gusto ko na lang yakapin ka and get over all the ceremony. Nakakainis ka naman kasi."
I laughed. "Pwede ba 'pag kinikilig ka 'wag mo 'kong sisihin na nakakainis ako?"
"Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo, Trystan Paolo."
"This face of mine will annoy you forever, Mrs. Aya Romualde."
She blushed when she heard me say it. "Wow... That sounds..."
"It sounds so right," dugtong ko. "Don't you think so?"
"Hiniram mo 'yung Salvatorre sa loob ng 21 years... This time, for the rest of my life, I'll take yours. Romualde. Aya Romualde."
"Take it... and we'll make a bunch of Romualde babies."
"Nako, Paolo, ha. Ayoko ng wedding reception sex."
I laughed so hard!
"Wedding reception sex? Tangina, Aya hahahaha saan mo natutunan 'yan? Suggestion ba 'yon kasi game ako."
Binatukan niya ako bigla pero hindi ko pa rin napigilan 'yung tawa ko.
"Basta Aya sinasabi ko sa'yo, I have all the energy. Walang pagod pagod sa wedding at sa reception. I ensure you I have the stamina for everything you want to do."
"Bastos ka talaga."
"Mamaya ah," I said, winking.
"Congrats, love birds!" said Liz as she walked towards us with Ella and Pat.
"Hindi sila love birds, mga manok sila kasi mamaya magtutukaan na 'yan," sabat ni Ella.
"Nag-break lang kayo ng boyfriend mo, dinadamay mo pa kami sa pagiging bitter mo," I appealed. She rolled her eyes. Ba't ba ang init ng dugo nito sa'kin?
"Here's my gift," sabi ni Ella kay Aya.
"Ano 'yan, ba't ang liit? Wala bang pa-rice cooker d'yan?" tanong ko.
"Box 'to ng condom para hindi na kayo makagawa ng tulad mo."
"Hala," I feigned surprise. "Too late, Ella!"
Bigla niyang hinampas 'yung braso ni Aya. I was quick to cover Aya when Ella positioned to hit her again. "You did it with him? Sabi ko sa'yo 'wag kayong magwe-wedding reception sex, hindi ka nakikinig! You did your first married sex here, saan, sa CR? Ano ka ba, Aya?"
Sumakit 'yung tiyan ko kakatawa. I know now. Si Ella pala 'yung nagpasok sa kukote ni Aya niyang wedding reception sex na 'yan. Tangina. What else were they taking about?
When our laughter died down, Pat and Liz handed their gifts.
"Ba't ang dami?" I asked Liz.
"Ba't ang dami mong tanong?" Ella spat back to me.
"Ahh. The other one's from... Jiro."
I cocked my head to look at Aya. "We sent him an invite, didn't we?"
Tumango si Aya. "He told Liz he couldn't go."
"He's based in Taiwan now. Doon siya nagta-trabaho. He's in the Philippines for a vacation but I guess he had prior plans. He didn't even meet me. Pinadala lang niya 'yung gift as package sa office," Liz explained.
"I see. 'Pag 'yan rice cooker, ibabalik ko 'yan sa kanya."
"Paolo," saway sa'kin ni Aya.
"I'm kidding, babe."
When I found out Aya chose to come back to Jiro, it scared me. It scared me that that man could be the one for her, that I was deluding all along that it should be me and her. But in the end, she chose me to be with me and I'll spend the rest of my life proving her right every fucking day.
After the snacks came our wedding reception program. We had our first dance as husband and wife. The best man, Japoy, and the maid of honor, Ella, gave their messages to us. Niloko ko pa nga si Ella na inosente't bata pa 'yung kapatid ko kaya 'wag niyang bingwitin si Japoy.
"Excuse me, I like older guys!" she declared. Tapos biglang awkward kasi napatingin kaming lahat sa ex niyang si Ian.
Ella cleared her throat, "Congrats sa inyong dalawa, ang papanget niyo."
"Thank you," sabi namin ni Aya. I leaned in and whispered to Aya, "Sabihin mo ang panget din niya."
"Thank you," Aya said again to the microphone. "Panget ka rin."
Everyone laughed but Ella glared at me because she knew perfectly it was I who instructed Aya to do it. She made our lives, especially Aya's, hard back in the days, she has to spent the rest of her life suffering for it. That sounds fair.
Before the dinner was served, one of the most awaited parts of the reception came. Si Evo ang nakasalo ng garter at si Ella naman sa bouquet.
Evo willingly put the garter to Ella's leg. Si Ella naman ay pulang-pula. She was even complaining. Paano raw kasing siya ang susunod na ikakasal kung lahat naman daw ng lalaki ay sinasaktan siya. Again, napatingin kami kay Ian. He's not the most recent guy in her life and I just pity the man for getting the brief but awkward attention because of their past.
"Ayan, para 'di ka na bitter sa'min ni Paolo!" cheered Aya as Evo slid the garter further up. I laughed as I draped my arm on her shoulders, 'It's a yes for me. Boto ako r'yan."
After that, the best of the best of Recettes Secrettes' hidden menu was served. Of course, with desserts made by ABF Cafe's Chef Yul. The souvenirs were also accompanied by a box of treats from ABF.
"Mrs. Aya Romualde, let's go home?"
Tumango siya at pinagbuksan ko siya ng pinto ng sasakyan ko. She was riding shotgun as I drove. It's going to be our first night in this house. Our house... with my home.
Pagdating sa tapat ng pinto ay binuhat ko siya. Bridal style, of course. My beautiful bride looked up to me.
"Are you tired?" tanong ko sa kanya.
She laughed, "No."
"Good, because that's on me. Ako dapat ang papagod sa'yo. Not that wedding."
I kissed her forehead as we walked in. Sinara ko ang pinto gamit ang paa ko at nilock naman niya iyon habang buhat ko siya. See, we're always in sync, babe.
I gave her a quick peck on the lips. She smiled and gave me a kiss. Hanggang sa makarating kami sa kwarto ay nagpapalitan lang kami ng halik. It fucking excites me that I'll get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. Thank You. Thank You. I'll forever be grateful for the heavens for giving me a life with Aya.
"Mahal kita, Aya."
"Mahal kita, Paolo."
She looked up to me. "Let's grow old together."
"Even if I get more annoying every day?" tanong ko. She nodded, smiling, "Even if you become the most annoying person in this world."
"Thank you for being you and being mine," I said as I lay her down the bed. I held her close as I kiss her full in the mouth. She immediately opened her mouth, welcoming me. Our lips danced as my hands reach for the ribbon on her back. I've studied the design of her wedding dress for the past weeks so I'd know where to pull to untie this perfectly.
"I missed this," she said, panting and breathless. I squeezed her sides as I lick her collarbone. I'll never leave any part of you untouched tonight.
"Be ready, wife, because I'll remind every inch of you what you've missed the past months," I said. She laughed as if she heard me crack a joke and I've never felt so challenged my entire life. Let's see, babe, let's see who's going to scream whose name.
"Ayanna Celine Romualde," I said as I pulled away a bit to begin removing my tie, "It's showtime."