Since my love had turned to poison, my mind cycled through emotions faster than a kid flipping radio channels. I had gone from level to rocky. Fighting a mixture of competing emotions, each of them vying for dominance. I couldn't understand James, he was complex, he appeared good but deep down I knew that he wasn't. He regretted many things he had done but I knew better. I was confused but...one thing was clear for me, I had to follow my plan, we had made if for a reason.
After the reboot of sleep I was calm, the day was stretching ahead with possibilities. Time to get jobs done. Yet this coping was a thin veil over trauma and even the smallest of set backs changed my emotional landscape. Why...why did he ask me about my siblings. By evening my sadness welled up, uncertainty rushed to the fore, and I knew it was time to sleep. How the crazy dreams stitched my head back together..I couldn't understand it, it was a new miracle every night.
The day James took me to my hotel, he gently kissed my forehead and left. The rest of the day I stayed on my bed without talking to Derange, he was acting all crazy about my hand but at some point he stopped asking what had happened. I didn't have any intentions of ruining my plan. James was going to die I just...didn't know for how much longer I could keep up my acting.
I was more than flesh, greater than bones. I was what James needed, a solution to his troubled world. I felt as if James actually liked me, as if he actually cared..as if he really loved me. In the back of my mind I always kept his real form, he was a monster just like his father, he wasn't capable of loving. I would break his heart everyday without him realizing it. He was just the easiest target so far.
I spent two days on my bed, sometimes crying and some other times just looking silently at the ceiling. Derange was staying all day next to me, sometimes asking me what had happened and some other times he was ready to take his gun and kill James for my hand. Derange's anxiety sat below his smile, his actions, his silly jokes.
"Enough." I felt a hand pulling my sheets with force.
"What the hell." I exclaimed and looked at him with angry eyes.
"All this ends now, either you get up and tell me what happened or..." he stopped and thought for a moment.
"Or? You'll hit me with your leather jacket?" I chuckled.
"We have business to attend to, Lorenzo called us for our money, his men hit a big shipment of guns Jame's has arranged. Killed seven men and stole his guns and ten thousand dollars." He smirked.
Derange painted words that were fine wine and soft music, words that contained more healing medicine than all the drugs created by man. They were clear water over rocks, a shelter in any storm. They were food for my soul. My mood suddenly changed and a loud scream escaped my mouth.
"I told you. Get up, get ready, we have work to do, when all this ends we will be rich." he chuckled and smirked at the same time.
I quickly jumped in the shower and realized that I hadn't showered for three days now, I was moping around without doing anything at all. Thinking was for the people who acted with their logic, I acted with my feelings and my gun. The water was cold, exactly as I wanted it. The water enveloped me as closely as my own skin. I was finally relaxed and ready to get back into action. It was actually refreshing.
The first thing I did after finishing my shower was sending a message to James asking him if he was okay. He answered me almost immediately, saying he wanted to see me. That was my actual chance to find the gun that was used to kill Victoria. James had invited me to his house. Finally.
"I will go to Jame's house today." I said proudly.
"Search for the gun and...search in general, whatever you find can be used against him." Derange replied while thinking.
We left our hotel and met Lorenzo in a small cafeteria, he was sitting there sipping his coffee, waiting for us. That cafeteria was perfect for me, it was like heaven. Soft music, chattering chefs could be heard from
the tables, joking and teasing, or perhaps singing loudly and out of tune. The food was simple and the decor plain. I loved this cafe for the people, the conversations that were heard. All I saw was all those people, when the sun rose, when those first rays told them that the day had already become a vibrant scene, they were looking forward to being here.
"Next we will hit Jame's safe, there are three men guarding it, I bet there's a lot of money in there." Lorenzo said with his funny voice.
"Listen..my friend..If you even think of stealing money from us, or hiding any information about our hits..well you better find a place to hide." I said with a strong voice. "We are not playing games, you don't know us so be careful."
"You think a little girl like you can scare me?" he said and stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth.
I slowly raised my gun under the table and touched his thigh, his almost choked, he was hilarious.
"Listen here..boy..I don't think you have anything important down there so you wouldn't mind if I planted a bullet right?" I said and grabbed a piece of his bacon.
I walked into the cafeteria like the floor would give out under my tiny body mass. Every step was so light that I made no sound at all. I know all Derange saw was my fearful face and body language, but he also saw my bravery. I was so afraid yet still I came, walking softly forward.
"I have my men protecting me little girl, move and you'll be dead in seconds." he said but I could see how scared he was, he had no men waiting for him.
"Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?" I asked with a serious look.
Lorenzo gave us our money and I let him understand that we were no amateurs here, well I was an amateur but I wouldn't let him steal our money, from our plan. A smile flashed across Derange's face from beneath his hands. It created slight dimples. Even though it was gone quickly, it was still there. Casting his eyes to the side, I could see the shape of his face like a silhouette. It gracefully moved up and over his cheek bones then slanted sharply at his mouth. He couldn't hide his excitement any longer and a loud laugh escaped his lips.
"The woman is right...if you steal from us it would be as if stealing from the government. You know...those guys haunt you down wherever you go..same applies to us man." Derange added with his silly smirk.
After a little we left with the money in our hands, we walked out of that cafeteria like kings. As we were walking towards the road someone pulled as both into an alley. Lorenzo had his men here, after all he was telling the truth. Well I guess it was time for Lorenzo to go...to hell.