Andrew Price
My fucking goodness this girl gets me all worked up in a matter of seconds.
Here I am, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at my idiotic reflection as Lia stands outside waiting for me. I just needed time to clear my head, and take a deep breath. I mean we've been all lovey dovey these past couple of days, and I've really been struggling to live up to what she expects me to be.
I don't know if I can be who she wants me to be, to be completely honest.
I have a fucked up personality, as you can probably already tell, my anger can go through the roof, I've done a lot of things that I sometimes regret, but sometimes don't, and the pain that I've inflicted on people is overwhelming. How can I become a good guy after everything that I've been through? It's just not in my nature.
I just don't have the guts to tell her that just yet.
For now, I just wanted us to see how things go and maybe, just maybe, if I feel myself seeing this 'thing' we have going on go just a bit further, then we could make it exclusive. But right now, I'm not sure if I want us to be in a relationship together.
There...I said it.
Truth is, Lia has become more and more significant in my life, and to see her become involved with me, it scares me. She knows about me and The Leathers and she knows that it's dangerous. But, if I'm with her, I could put her life on the line, and I don't want to do that.
She means too much to do that.
Plus, I'm pretty much the definition of a fuck up. So, if I'm with her I'm guaranteed to screw up in some way, shape, or form. No matter what it is, I will find a way to screw our relationship up and leave Lia heartbroken. And I don't want to do that.
I take a second glance at my horrid reflection in the mirror, wondering how life could've gotten here. How Lia waltzed her way into my life and cling to me like a person on their last breath of air. How Mason hates my guts and practically wants to kill me in a shootout.
It was only twelve years ago, where my mother was taking me into work almost everyday, and she would give me money for the vending machines. I would just love to click all the numbers and letters hoping that it would drop something good for me to eat. Or how I would fiddle around with some of the recordings in the booth, and make the singers voice sound like they were from a Mickey Mouse cartoon on steroids.
My father would take me to work about two or three times a week, bringing me in his Price Sports car that he designed with the company. He would give me lessons on the way on how to learn stick shift, or some tips when I would eventually learn how to drive. My father found those little bonding moments some of the best times of his life with his son.
Then, I would greet all the engineers who were under the cars, or taking parts from one place to another, until we eventually reached my Dad's office. He would take all the toy cars that he had designed and sold as real cars, and put them in my lap so I could play with them while he took calls or arranged meetings with his team. I usually lasted the whole work day playing and pretending on the wooden floors of his office.
At the end of the day, I would come home running up to mother for a hug. She would pick me up, and then proceed to complain that I was getting too big or that I needed to stop growing. We would then all have dinner as a family, Celina would be playing games on her DS while Nick and I threw food at each other. Our parents eventually gave up on scolding us for food fights.
On the weekends, now those days were my favorite. I would invite the neighbors to come swim in our pool, maybe even have some friends from elementary school over. My Mom would make us some lemonade and then bring out some popsicles for us to eat after we were done at the pool. Sometimes she would yell at me to put more sunscreen on, to then which I would yell back that I didn't need it. I wasn't fair skinned at all, my skin was tan enough, and even had a bit of olive in it. What can I say? I was a full-blown European rich kid.
On the weekend nights, I would go grocery shopping with both my Mom, Dad, Nick, and Celina. They always used to tell us that they hated going during the day because strangers always liked to talk to them, and it was until a little later I would realize that fans/paparazzi would love to take pictures of them and make up some kind of shitty news story to make them look like bad people. But some of the times, when we would exit the building I would see camera flashes. Our parents would rush us to the car, and we would all be confused, and then Nick would be all frantic because he thought aliens were invading the planet.
Those were the days that I missed the most. The simple days, filled with normal things to do in a normal life.
But the more time I think the more I realize that my life isn't normal. And that it will never be normal. Not ever.
My life has changed in way to many ways to even be considered on the scale of normal.
My normal consists of strapping a pistol to my pants and going out on the town for a fight. Or going to bars in the middle of nowhere where I can order a drink without them asking for my ID. Now, that is my normal.
How could a girl fit into my life without getting hurt?
It's just not possible.
Wait...what am I doing?
I'm sitting in my bathroom, looking like an absolute fool while the most beautiful girl is waiting outside the door for me and I'm worrying about the future.
I usually perceived myself as a bit of an 'in the moment' kind of guy, but being around Lia for the past couple of months has made me divert to another person. A person I could never picture myself being.
This is what I do to myself when I'm alone. I de-grade myself and make it seem like I don't deserve all the things that life has to offer because of the way I chose to live and the monster it made me. It makes me pessimistic and negative all the fucking time.
You know what? I do deserve everything that a normal person deserves. I may not be normal, but that's fucking okay. I'm glad I'm not like everyone else.
So, I take that thought and I carry it with me as I open the white painted door to my bedroom and I see Lia standing by the edge of my bed with her head down. She has her back to me, and I didn't realize that I took this long in the bathroom.
It literally only felt like a few seconds.
"So, where were we?" I began walking out of the bathroom. She turns around rapidly, and I stop after seeing what she is holding in her hands.
No no no no no no no.
Fuck.
I know that picture, I know that picture all to well.
Where did it come from? How did she find it?
"Who is this?" She shows the picture to me, and I could feel my face turn ice cold and pale.
The picture that inflicts pain with every glance I make with it. The picture that could easily bring tears into my eyes in just a second. The picture that can be easily read the wrong way because of the way we smiled and kissed.
Lia looks hurt, like she saw one of her favorite celebrities pass on, or like she just received heart wrenching news that could possibly alter this relationship or whatever we have.
"Where did you find that?" I could barely form the words. I was surprised at myself that I managed to get at least something out.
"It was sticking out under your bed and I nearly tripped on it. But that doesn't answer my question." Her voice raised with a hint of anger.
"Listen, Lia, I can explain everything. Just give me some time." I approached her with caution, and she threw the picture on the bed like it was nothing.
"Why not just tell me now, Andrew? Who the hell is that girl that you're...kissing in this picture?" She pointed to where the photo laid face down on the white cloth.
"I can't. I just can't." I breathed harshly, looking down at the ground. At least the ground won't judge me.
"Why can't you? I don't understand, Andrew? Who is this girl? Your girlfriend? Your ex-girlfriend? I want to know!" She rolled her eyes as I increasingly got annoyed with all her questions.
I turn my back towards her, approaching the window and looking out to the sun that had started to disappear in the horizon and emitting an orange glow into the clouds. They looked like big, fluffy oranges.
"Why are you keeping secrets from me, Andrew? We're better than this. We know to trust each other." She comes up behind me, placing her arms around my waist softly. Her head laid down on the top of my chest.
She was warm and inviting, but I couldn't give in.
I'm just not ready yet.
I remove her arms from their placement on my waist, and I turned around to face her. She wanted to know so bad, so bad. But I couldn't tell her about it because I needed time. Time to think things through so that I can find the perfect way to explain it to her.
So, I kissed her because I wanted to get not only my mind off of this but hers too. I just wanted to forget everything that had happened in the last five or so minutes.
Lia started to give in, wrapping her small hands around my neck like she always does as we fell so deeply into the kiss. We always get so tangled and so passionate with our kisses and I loved every second of it. We were fiery and wild, and that's just the way I liked it.
But I think she realized that she went in too deep, so she shoved me away. She crossed her arms protectively around herself, to keep me from doing anything like I just did.
I made a big mistake. I shouldn't have done that. We were both vulnerable and hurting, and I decided that I would take advantage of that.
"What the hell Andrew!" She yelled, flashing a bit of her anger with me through her ocean eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"You're right, you shouldn't have. Now, you owe me an explanation of why you're keeping things from me. Why are you trying to distract me with this?" She starts pacing around the room frantically, almost like if she didn't get an answer, her whole body will explode into millions of pieces.
"I can't tell you." Was all I said.
"You know, when you say that, I can't help but think of the absolute worst. What is she, your fuck buddy? Your bitch that you call up on the phone when you can't get into my pants?"
Okay, now she's pissing me off.
"You have no right to judge her when you have no clue who she is."
"Please then, Andrew, enlighten me." She snapped back with sarcasm.
"My God, Lia, just stop fucking talking for once. I can't take you."
"Andrew, you never tell me anything! From the moment I met you, you told me one important part of your life. That's it. That's all I got. So, if we are going to be in a relationship, then you need to make the same effort I am. This is a two way street, buddy."
I started laughing hysterically, and it was almost petty. "You think we're going to be in a relationship? You're funny. News flash: I'm not interested in a relationship. So, you can take all your boyfriend fantasies about me and you can shove it."
She was almost in tears. "You're an asshole."
"Whatever, Lia." I brushed her off. "You knew that I didn't want a relationship, I told you that from day one. Don't act so surprised."
"Don't try and change the subject." She jabbed her finger against my sternum. "This isn't about you not wanting a relationship. This is about you not being honest with me when I need you to be. So, let's get back to that."
"Save it, Lia. I'm not going to say."
"YOU'RE SO FRUSTRATING! JUST TELL WHO THE GODDAMN GIRL IS, ANDREW! IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD. JUST A NAME! ANYTHING! Don't you think I deserve to know?" She nearly screams at me.
"No. You don't. You don't know anything about who she was, and you don't deserve to." In that moment, I was very stoic that I couldn't decipher if I was angry or hurt. I was just all emotions mashed into one.
She looked taken aback as those hurtful words came out of my mouth. She was fed up with me, and I don't blame her. But she doesn't deserve to know who she was, because Lia will never be as good enough as she was.
Never. And I've come to terms with that.
Maybe I was looking for a rebound, maybe I just needed someone to talk to, I don't know. All I know is that I need time to think and sort things out in my brain, because all those emotions that I felt are rushing back and I can't control them.
Lia picks up the wooden picture frame that was thrown onto the bed in one swift move, and she holds it out to me, showing it to me.
"I'm going to give you one final chance, Andrew. If you don't tell me everything you're hiding, I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. I'm taking everything that we did these past couple of days and I'm forgetting and leaving it behind. So, you have one choice: Stay with me or leave me."
I look down at the photo, the photo of me and here, back when things were so much simpler. Life was good back then and I would give anything to have those simpler days back.
I shake my head, while still looking at the picture. My most prized possession, the most sacred thing in my entire room.
I look up at her, with my final answer.
"Go."
She was shocked initially, almost like she had a sliver of hope that I would make her stay and explain everything, but I couldn't. Then, she proceeded to shake her head, like she just wanted to leave before she started balling her eyes out.
When she did leave, she tossed the picture back on the bed, and this time the picture faced the ceiling. I studied it, feeling all those pent up emotions flooding back into my body and feeling like they never went away.
Lia's footsteps were replaced with another, and I looked up with my mother's arms crossed around her chest. She looked at me sternly, like I did something wrong and she wanted to punish me for it.
"What the hell just happened?" She asked me.
***
Lia James
I could barely breath walking into the house. I held back my tears to the point where my head was pounding and all I could think about was how I walked out on Andrew.
It was about ten when I came home, Lina and Mason we're walking some cartoons on the flatscreen in the living room. They both turned their heads as I stumbled through the doorway, trying to make my way up the stairs for some needed alone time where I can sulk and think things through.
"Lia, what's wrong?" Lina gets up hurriedly, and she rushes to my side. Mason soon follows and he pulls me into a bear hug, where I decided to let it all out.
I couldn't tell you how long I cried into Mason's arms but it was a pretty long time. When his arms got tired, we moved to the long couch, where I rested my head in his lap, and Lina sat criss cross on the rug. They both played with my hair until I was ready to talk to them.
I could feel the make-up stain my cheeks and there were flashes of pain in my eyes from all the black that came off my eyelashes. I was a mess, and I couldn't even begin to form sentences to explain why I was like this to my best friends.
Lina went into the kitchen to grab some tissues for me to dry my eyes and blow my nose. She looked concerned, almost as if she has never seen me like this.
Wait...she hasn't.
"Are you okay now, Le?" Mason rubbed my upper arms which were covered with my oat cardigan. I sat up with a few sniffles here and there before I mentally prepared myself to tell them what had happened and why I was a wreck.
"Not really if I'm being honest." I cried a bit.
"Are you ready to tell us what happened?" Lina gets up from the ground and finds a seat on the other side of me.
"Sure." I said, barely a whisper.
"Well, I was at Andrew's house and we went up to his room because he didn't want to talk to his mother's colleagues and all that. He went into the bathroom for a bit, and I nearly tripped over a picture frame that was sticking out from his bed. I picked it up and it was a picture of him kissing and hugging another girl. He caught me holding it, and we had a big argument because he refused to explain himself."
"Is he dating someone else?" Lina asked.
"I don't know."
"I'm gonna whip his ass like there's no tomorrow." Mason was about to get up and fight him, but I pulled him back down. I was convinced he would, but that would only make matters worse.
"Why didn't he tell you who the girl was in the picture?" Lina picked up a pillow and hugged it.
"He said I didn't deserve to know. So, I gave him one last chance to explain himself or else I was going to leave and never come back." I sniffled. "He told me to go."
I began crying again, and Lina shushes me before I had the chance to start back up again.
"Listen, girly, lets get you cleaned up and ready for sleep. We can have a mini sleepover downstairs tonight with some ice cream and The Vampire Diaries. That will sure heal anyone up." She grabs my hand to lead me upstairs, Mason gets up too.
He gives me a long hug. "He's a douche bag. I'm sorry you had to go through this."
"No, I'm sorry that I thought you were wrong. He is secretive and shady. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you in the first place." I kissed him on the cheek before Lina led me upstairs for some long awaited girl-time break-up bonding.
All I needed was her, ice cream, and The Vampire Diaries to keep me going tonight.
~*~
Don't forget to tap the star at the bottom of the screen to vote for this story!
I'm actually really liking this chapter a lot! It's very emotional but heartfelt at the same time.
What do you think is Andrew's secret? It's definitely not what you think.
Will Lia ever forgive him?
Will they get back together before the school year ends? Keep in mind we are nearing the end of January for this school year.
Do you like The Vampire Diaries? Do you believe it will cure a broken heart? I do. My favorite character is Damon. NO CAP!!!
Much love.
XOXO