Of course the one day that Peter needs the distraction, patrol is absolutely uneventful. He should count it as a win that no one is in danger, but the selfish part of him hoped he could do some fighting to get his mind off of everything that happened. It's about 4 pm when he gets the inevitable call from May. He lands on the nearest rooftop and takes a steadying breath before answering.
"Hey," is all he can muster.
"Are you okay?!" May's frantic voice pierces his eardrums. "I saw what happened on the news and then Ned called me saying you didn't go to class after lunch and you didn't answer MJ's texts! We agreed on no more crazy stunts! We need to communicate!" Lack of communication seems to be a common theme lately.
"I'm sorry..." His voice breaks halfway through.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" May's tone softens considerably once she notices something is wrong. Peter can't hold back the waterworks anymore.
"I, I don't know why it made me so, so upset, y'know? I shouldn't care. But, but I do and I don't want to because it, it hurts so damn much." He wants to keep explaining everything but he's cut off by a sob constricting his lungs.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," May presses gently, but Peter can tell that she's worried.
"Mr. Stark cancelled this afternoon and, and I was really excited. I got my, my hopes up. We were gonna play cards." He sniffs and tries to hold himself together. It all sounds so childish.
"Where are you?" May's voice is hard. "I'm coming to pick you up."
"No! No, it's okay. I'll swing home. I'm not too far. I'll see you then." If he can't be strong for himself, then Peter knows he has to be strong for her. He knows May didn't ask for any of this extra stress.
"Stay safe, please."
"I will." He ends the call and, even though he feels like staying out all night to distract himself, he heads home. It takes all of five minutes to get back to their apartment and he's quick to climb in the window. He loosens the suit and takes off the mask to put on regular clothes before May can burst into his room, which is exactly what she does. She must've heard him close the window because she's in his room by the time he has his clothes on. She doesn't waste any time in pulling him into a tight hug. One of her hands grabs the back of his head while the other rubs his back. Peter's arms instantly wrap around her and he lets everything go. All his emotions, anxieties, fears, everything, pours out of him in gut wrenching sobs. He doesn't think he has ever felt so shattered without a good reason.
"Why does it feel so bad?" he mumbles into her soft sweater with his eyes shut. She sighs.
"Because when the people we care about hurt us, we feel bad. It hurts more than it would if it were a stranger or someone who's not as close. Especially when they don't realize how much they've hurt us. Sometimes they come around, sometimes you have to explain it to them. You might have to explain it to him because I've never met a genius as dense as Tony Stark." She tries to lighten the mood, but his chest still aches. Luckily, Peter's senses seem to be more bearable.
"It's just that whenever I think he cares, he does something like this. It..." he loses his train of thought and buries his face in her shoulder instead. May shushes him, massaging the back of his head.
"I know, baby. Just let it out. There's nothing wrong with being upset." For some reason, her words snap Peter out of it.
"No." She pulls him back and looks at him partly in confusion and partly in concern. "No, no, no, y'know what? He doesn't get to make me feel like this." Peter shakes his head and lets his aunt go. "I've already wasted too much of my time worrying about what he thinks! It doesn't matter what he thinks! I don't care! I became Spider-Man all by myself! I didn't need him! I still don't! I knew what the right thing was and I did it months before he even thought about meeting me! I did it all alone! I help people every day! I, I find people's pets and stop cars and fight robbers and, and I'm great at it!" May looks at her nephew through pained, watery eyes.
"You're fantastic. That doesn't mean-"
"No. I've always put everyone before myself! I never ask for anything! Ever! I got through six months of being Spider-Man in a stupid homemade suit saving people! And then I kept doing it after he treated me like crap! I don't need him around for me to be a good hero! I already am one!" Peter stops to catch his breath and fiercely wipes his eyes. May keeps her gaze locked on him as if he's too fragile to touch. She looks at him with such pure concern that all of Peter's anger dissipates. Instead, his lip quivers and his throat aches from holding back tears. "How come I'm not good enough for him?" His voice cracks. May pulls him back into a hug without hesitation and he melts into it.
"It's going to be okay, I promise. You're more than good enough. You're incredible and I love you so so so so much. You can't even fathom how much I love you." She kisses the top of his head and just cradles him as he cries. Everything Peter does feels pathetic, but having May be there for him makes it all bearable.
"I love you too," Peter reciprocates with all of his heart and soul. May pulls back and wipes his tears away with her thumbs.
"What do you say we order in tonight? Pizza? Larb?" Peter chuckles lightly, causing her to smile. "Then we can get a bunch of blankets to cuddle on the couch and watch reruns of Friends." Peter nods gratefully, but then remembers something.
"You have a late night at the hospital," he reminds her with a tinge of disappointment in his voice.
"I'll have someone cover my shift, it's not a problem. You're more important," May reassures. Peter smiles, but ultimately shakes his head.
"We're gonna get behind on rent if you miss a shift. I'll be fine, promise. Besides, you gotta go be a superhero in the ER." Guilt encompasses him, but he tries to look as confident as he can. He doesn't want her to miss work just because of him.
"I'm so proud of you, you know that, right?" May brushes one of his unruly curls from his forehead.
"I know. I'm proud of you too." She kisses him on the forehead and guides him out of his room.
"There's leftovers in the fridge and dessert in the freezer. Promise me you'll eat your dinner first, understand? Are you sure you don't want me to order something before I leave?" Her expression is slightly pained, which probably means Peter is not the only one feeling guilty.
"May, I'm sixteen! I can make myself dinner." She gives him a skeptical look accompanied by a smirk.
"Alright, genius. And don't stay up too late. Love you!" Peter playfully rolls his eyes.
"Love you too," he calls as she shuts the door behind her and locks it. Peter stands there for a few moments, his muscles not exactly wanting to move. His entire body is exhausted from the anxiety and unbridled emotions that poured out of him. Now he just feels kind of...empty. He snaps himself out of the trance. The only thing worse than sensory overload is apathy, and he just got done with the former so there's no way he's going to deal with the latter.
He walks over to open the fridge, then just stares into it. Usually, he just waits until something appetizing jumps out at him, but he's honestly not really in the mood for anything. He glances to the freezer...and opens it to pull out a tub of cookie dough. What May doesn't know won't hurt her, or me. He plops on the couch and digs his spoon into the cookie dough. Should I unmute my friends? I should probably unmute my friends. If anything, just to convince them that I'm not dead. Ned tends to overreact. He pulls out his phone and takes it off "do not disturb." His phone is instantly overwhelmed by text after text after text from Ned and MJ, more so Ned, and a few missed calls from both. Most of the texts are in their group chat, which Peter quickly catches up with.
Our Dysfunctional Family
12:45 pm
Ned: hey peter where are you?
Ned: did something happen? class started five minutes ago
Ned: you really need to be here for economics
Ned: im getting worried man
MJ: Stop worrying so much. If you don't pay attention, you'll fail the exam. Stop making my phone buzz.
Ned: worrying is practically my job! its what i do!
Ned: and how come you always text with perfect grammar and punctuation
MJ: Because I hold myself to a higher standard than you two.
Ned: ...okay fair enough
Ned: but youre not worried about peter at all??
MJ: No.
MJ: He can handle himself just fine, he isn't too much of a moron. If he needs us he'll text.
Ned: if you say so
1:58 pm
Ned: are you worried yet mj
Ned: cause im worried
Ned: and im THIS close to freaking out
MJ: ...
MJ: It's uncharacteristic for him to miss multiple classes in a row without letting us know why.
Ned: FINALLU I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WORRIED
MJ: *Finally
MJ: Have you tried calling him?
Ned: y e s
Ned: and he ALWAYS answers if hes not spider-manning
MJ: Well then what if he's out being Spiderman?
Ned: *spider-man
Ned: respect the hyphen
MJ: Then respect punctuation.
Ned: nows not the time!
MJ: If we don't hear from him by the time school is over, you can call May. If she doesn't know where he is and it starts to get dark, call Tony Stark. He's basically Peter's babysitter, right?
Ned: peters not a baby and iron man isn't a babysitter!!!!
Ned: but that sounds like a good plan.
3:47 pm
MJ: Did you call her?
Ned: yeah but she didnt know where peter is either
Ned: she was pretty freaked out too
Ned: she said shes gonna call him
MJ: I'm sure he'll answer for her, otherwise whatever he's dealing with will be the least of his problems.
Alright, now Peter just has to catch them both up on what's going on, right? He's sure they're going to be very...understanding. I just have to give them a good explanation! Yeah...more like good excuse. Okay Peter, just be casual.
4:23 pm
Peter: hey guys :)
Ned: OH MY GOD PETER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WEVE BEEN SO WORRIED YOU SCARED US TO DEATH YOU JUST DISAPPEARED AND DIDNT COME TO CLASS WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED OR SOMETHING YOU CANT SCARE US LIKE THAT YOURE LIKE SO GROUNDED IF MAY HASNT ALREADY GROUNDED YOU I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST LEFT YOU OWE US BIG TIME
MJ: Sup nerd, welcome back.
Peter: hey. i know i kinda bailed on you guys and im sorry. it wasn't exactly planned tbh
Ned: WE NEED EXPLANATIONS LIKE RN
Ned: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN WITH SPIDER-MAN????
Ned: WAS IT MYSTERIO?????
Peter: not exactly
MJ: Then what happened? I'm not one to worry, but you were gone a while and weren't answering anyone.
Ned: YEAH
Peter: actually i answered may's call
Peter: i kinda muted everyone else
Ned: YOU WHAT?!?!?!?!
MJ: Why?
Peter: this is gonna be a long story
MJ: We've been waiting long enough for it.
Ned: id disown you if you didnt give us SOME kind of explanation
Peter: okay okay
Peter: so
Peter: i was supposed to train with Mr. Stark today after school like usual
Peter: and i was super psyched cause we were gonna yknow hang out and play cards and i was gonna tell him about the mysterio fight this morning
Ned: dude you were gonna play cards with iron man???? dude!!!
MJ: Don't interrupt. Continue, Peter.
Peter: well he called me back today during lunch and
Peter: just cancelled out of nowhere
Peter: like i know he has a company and has to help run it, its just...i dunno
MJ: It upset you
Peter: yeah
Ned: im sorry
Peter: it's okay, i get it. it's not your fault man
Ned: im still sorry
Ned: im unstanning iron man
Peter: ha we both know that's not gonna happen
Ned: i stan spider-man more than i do iron man
MJ: We all know he's an egotistical jerk who's destroying the environment.
MJ: I only gave him a chance because you did.
MJ: But now he's on my shit list.
Peter: i appreciate it guys, but it's really okay. he didnt do it on purpose
Peter: i'm gonna destress
MJ: Good idea.
Ned: we'll be here if you need anything okay?
Ned: just dont mute us again
Peter: i won't
Peter: thanks guys
Ned: <3
MJ: No problem dweeb.
Peter locks his phone and sits back with a sigh. Looking down, he realizes he already ate all the cookie dough. Stupid fast metabolism. He slowly washed the tub and leaves it out to dry, so that when May gets home she doesn't have to do dishes. He knows he needs to distract himself. He has an economics exam to study for, which he has barely studied for at all, so he decides that's what he's going to do.
When he tries to start studying out of the textbook, things just don't...click. And it's frustrating. God, is it frustrating. He swears he rereads the same paragraph five times before throwing the entire textbook across his room. Luckily, he doesn't do any damage to the wall. He grips his hair in his hands and takes a few deep breaths. No matter what he does, he can't stop thinking about what happened with Tony and it's giving him anxiety. He can't concentrate.
He spends the next six hours trying to retain absolutely anything his brain will allow before sleep deprivation sets in and he's forced to go to bed. Even though he goes to bed around 11 pm, which is early for him, he wakes up exhausted with a headache. Today's gonna suck. And it's Friday . Fridays are supposed to be the best days! May still hasn't come home yet, which means she's probably working overtime at the ER. Peter takes a few pills for the headache and takes breakfast with him on the go, noticing he's a bit behind schedule. The only thing he's in the mood for is Doritos, and his conscience isn't awake enough yet to argue with the decision.
First period, unfortunately, is economics, which Peter feels extremely unprepared for. When he sits between Ned and MJ, who both give him weird looks before glancing to each other, part of him just wants to look to the person in front of him. To cheat. To glance off their paper and copy down the answers. He really need to pass this exam...but he doesn't cheat. Superheroes don't cheat. Mr. Stark would be even more disappointed in me. Instead, he answers the questions as best he can and just guesstimates on the rest.
"C'mon dude, I'm sure you didn't do that bad," Ned tries to reassure once the class is over. Peter simply shrugs his shoulders.
"You're doing it again," MJ cuts in. When Peter looks up, she's giving him a disapproving look.
"Doing what?"
"That grumpy thing you did before Tony Stark picked you up last Friday." She raises a questioning eyebrow. "Not that I saw that happen," she adds.
"I'm not grumpy. I'm just tired." Peter takes out some notebooks before closing his locker.
"That was your excuse last time," Ned reminds.
"Well maybe 'cause it's true," Peter mutters through clenched teeth.
"We're just worried, man," Ned practically pleads. Peter's frustration wavers slightly. He's not trying to be impatient, he just doesn't like being pitied or treated like he's fragile.
"I know. I'm just...tense. I'm fine. Promise." He gives them a tight-lipped smile and pulls his backpack higher onto his shoulder.
"Look who decided to show up!" Peter's muscles tense at the voice.
"But I'm about to not be fine," he mumbles.
"Surprised you even came to school today, Penis." Flash walks up to them while smirking at Peter.
"If you're as smart as you keep telling everyone you are, you'd have enough sense of self preservation to walk away," MJ threatens nonchalantly.
"What, now you have other people fighting your battles? Are you that much of a coward? You gonna hide behind your misfit friends?" Flash challenges. Peter's anger flares and his eyes snap up to meet the bully's.
"I'm not in the mood, Flash," Peter warns, his voice dangerously low. Flash falters at Peter's uncharacteristic tone, but quickly regains his composure. Ned steps forward, but Peter doesn't let him get any closer to Flash.
"I don't care. You think you're that much better than the rest of us. No one cares about your dumb imaginary internship. Tony Stark wouldn't waste his time on you." Usually, Peter doesn't engage with his insults, but something inside him snaps and he's talking back before he can stop himself.
"Says the one who constantly overcompensates by putting other people down. Everyone's sick of you being a jerk all the time. The only person I know I'm better than is you. So have some self control for once and layoff." Peter knows he shouldn't have said it, but man did it feel good to defend himself. His Spidey Sense makes itself known with a light tingle over his shoulders. Guess I should've seen this coming. He knows he can't react without giving his powers away, so he stands still and takes on the full force of Flash's ruthless fist making contact with his cheek.
Notes:
Thank you for reading!