Something doesn't feel right. Peter fell asleep somehow and he can vaguely start to hear the TV. He can feel the couch underneath him and Tony's shoulder on his right. But Peter can't open his eyes. No matter how hard he tries, they just won't. He can't move. He can't breathe. He tries to force his muscles to move or at least open his eyes, but nothing works. The panic starts to set in. He can't move and he can't breathe and suddenly all he can feel is his heart hammering against his chest. No matter how hard he tries he can't move a single muscle or take in a single, much needed breath. If I can't breathe, I'm going to die. Why can't I breathe?! He tries to call out to Tony and Bruce, but he doesn't make a damn sound. His heart beats even faster and he wishes the adrenaline would shake him out of whatever kind of trance he's in. Is this Mysterio? Wouldn't Mr. Stark know?! I don't want to feel like I'm being crushed. Not again. I don't want to go through this feeling and this pain over and over. I don't want this to be my life. All I want is my lungs to let me scream. I can't let Toomes keep controlling me, I know that!
But he just can't help but feel the pressure on his back and the serrated metal digging into his skin.
Am I even awake? Is this another nightmare? I can't tell and it only makes me feel even more out of control and alone and-
"Boss, Peter's pulse has increased dramatically," F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs the room, her voice cutting through Peter's panic. It's something to hold on to, to prove he's not alone. His last remaining comfort slips away as soon as Tony moves away and his head rolls to the side without the support.
"Peter." Tony's strict voice fills Peter's head. Strong hands grip his shoulders and Tony tries to jostle him awake, but Peter can't make himself react. His lungs just won't work. He can't do anything. "Shit, he's not breathing," Tony mumbles Bruce. Tony can feel his own heart rate start to pick up, staring at Peter's lax face and constricted chest. Did something happen while he wasn't looking? Did Peter get hit and kept quiet about it?
"Peter, can you hear me?" Bruce's voice is directly in front of Peter as he feels Tony's warm hands disappear. Peter wants to yell out so desperately. Just move! Move move move move move... Peter's finger twitches.
"Jesus Christ, what the hell's going on Bruce?" Tony's voice is close again and it's more tense than the last time.
"I, I don't know, alright?" Bruce's voice is tense as well. Panicked. Peter tries to coach himself out of it. If I can just keep moving...c'mon, move! Out of nowhere, he's able to open his eyes and suck in a breath that he thought he'd never get again. His chest heaves to pull in as much air as humanly possible and he gladly welcomes it.
"Thank god," Tony says breathlessly. "My heart can't handle this kind of stress."
"Can you hear me?" Bruce asks Peter, trying to maintain eye contact with him. Peter quickly nods and hopes beyond hope that he doesn't let himself cry. That was terrifying, but he's okay. He's okay. He's holds up a shaky thumbs up before letting it drop into his lap. Tony stiffly sits down next to Peter and hovers his hands over Peter's shoulders as if the boy will pass out any second.
"How do you feel?" Tony asks. Peter doesn't feel so good, but he nods anyways. He still doesn't speak. He's afraid that if he speaks, all the oxygen will disappear again. He lies his head back against the head of the couch, but doesn't dare to close his eyes. "No, don't give me that crap. You just scared the everloving heck out of us, so I'm gonna need a better answer than that and don't you dare say that you're okay. That was not okay." Tony gets more aggravated as he talks. He isn't one for portraying fear or concern, so he's trying to cover it up with anger. Either that or he's just angry. It's probably the latter. Peter doesn't look at Tony and instead keeps his eyes locked on the ceiling as he nods.
"I...I knew I was awake but, but I couldn't open my eyes? I could hear the TV but I couldn't see or move or, or talk. And then, and then I realized I couldn't breathe either so I started to freak out. I thought it was," Peter brings his hand up to wipe his hair out of his face "I thought it was a dream so I, I waited but then F.R.I.D.A.Y. talked and everything went, went crazy. And all I wanted to do was breathe and I couldn't and it was frustrating and..." He holds his hand in the other to hide the trembling and presses his lips together. Tony takes a deep breath and slowly let's it out as he rubs his face with his hands.
"Alright, I'll call in Dr. Cho first thing in the morning." Peter sinks into the couch, knowing that he has caused so much trouble that Tony has to bring her in. He feels like more of a liability than a partner. Partner? Who am I kidding.
"Maybe we should keep an eye on him, just in case it happens again. I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone," Bruce adds. Peter huffs and shakes his head in disbelief.
"I'm sitting right here y'know. I'm not a baby and I can speak for myself," he defends with his arms crossed.
"Oh yeah? Fine then. What would you like to do?" Tony humors Peter, raising his eyebrows expectantly.
"I want to go to me room and try to sleep with some peace and quiet."
"No can do, kiddo," Tony instantly denies. Peter instantly looks to Bruce, shocked, and raises his hands slightly to gesture at the smug looking Tony. All Bruce does is shrug.
"Why'd you ask me to choose when you were just gonna choose for me?!" Peter questions, his voice slightly higher.
"Because I wanted you to make the right choice. You chose wrong. Try again next time," Tony says nonchalantly. Peter scoffs and crosses his arms. Technically Tony can't stop him from going to his room, but he could always take the suit away or call Aunt May. There's no way he's risking that.
"Dr. Cho is a good doctor and I'm sure she will be able to help more than I can," Bruce encourages. Peter has heard about her so he's not worried. He just doesn't like the situation in general. He's over it all. He wants to be able to be Spider-Man on his own terms again.
"But I'm fine. I'm good. Don't worry. F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s, like, everywhere right? So it doesn't matter where I am. If something happens, she'll let you know. I just really want to go to bed," he practically pleads. Tony maintains his unwavering eye contact with Peter as he considers.
"Fine, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. knows what you're allowed and not allowed to do, so no funny business. I don't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night to suit up and save your tuchus. Got it?" Bold of him to assume that I'll want to get out of bed, Peter thinks.
"Yeah, got it," he repeats so Tony won't give him a hard time. He presses his lips together and raises his eyebrows as if asking if Tony wants anything else.
"Well, thanks for having me, Tony," Bruce speaks up instead. "I'm going to head out. There's a lot I have to work on."
"Of course!" Tony gives him a quick hug with a pat. "Good seeing you, don't be a stranger." Bruce nods then turns to Peter.
"Night, Dr. Banner. It was awesome meeting you." Peter shakes hands with one of his greatest idols and Bruce smiles.
"It was great to meet you too, Peter. Take care of yourself." Peter nods and watches as Bruce makes his way to the elevator before disappearing behind the doors. Tony claps his hands together and interlocks them in front of him.
"So, kid, hungry? Want some snacks? Junk food? I promise I won't set anything on fire and we don't have to tell Aunt May about the late night sugar rush," he offers with a sly grin. Peter chuckles, but ultimately shake his head.
"No thanks. I'm just tired. Been a long, a long, crazy day. I think I'm gonna go to my room. Night, Mr. Stark." He tries to walk to his room as fast as he can without making it obvious that he can't wait to be in his own space. When he reaches the door, Tony talks again.
"Pete?" Peter steadies himself before turning around and waiting patiently for the man to speak. "You do know that you can...talk to me, right? If you ever need anything or you feel like...talking about things." Tony knows he isn't the best at emotions, but he's trying for Peter. He's making an effort, and that's what matters. Peter can tell.
"Of course, Mr. Stark. Thanks." Peter offers him a small smile before opening the bedroom door and shutting it behind him. He leans against the closed door and takes some deep breaths, savoring the ability to breathe again. Before he can think too much about what just happened, he pulls out his phone and selects May's contact. It's only takes a few rings for her patient voice to answer.
"Hey, sweetheart. How's everything going?" Just hearing her voice helps him relax and breathe a bit easier.
"It's been, you know, an experience. Not a bad experience, but an experience." It's hard to get a proper thought out, but he tries his best. Fake it till you make it! There's a brief pause.
"What's wrong?" Well, so much for that plan. For some reason, his eyes well up with tears. He quickly wipes his eyes before the tears can fall and chuckles.
"Nothing! I just wanted to call you before I went to bed."
"Already? It's only nine o'clock. You haven't gone to bed before eleven since you were twelve," she explains skeptically.
"Yeah but, it's been crazy today and since, since Mr. Stark and I have been working on stuff I thought it'd be a good idea to get some extra sleep." He rambles to try to keep his voice steady.
"You're a crappy liar. You get that from me," she admits fondly. I mean, I've been pretty good lying so far... Peter guiltily counters in his head. "I can tell when you're upset. Talk to me." Peter knows how to stay strong, he really does, but when May sounds so comforting and open, he just can't help but break down into sobs. He covers his mouth with his sweatshirt sleeve, so that Tony won't hear, and squeezes his eyes shut.
"It's just...it's tough sometimes," he whispers, afraid that if he tries to talk he'll be too loud. He slides down the door until he's able to sit on the carpeted floor. "And, and it doesn't help when nightmares are, y'know, the, and-"
"Baby, calm down. Breathe." May sounds about as pained as he is. "What nightmares?" she asks gently. Peter does as she says and takes a few steadying breaths. His legs are bent in front of him so that he can rest his forehead on his knees.
"I've had them ever since homecoming, after the Toomes problem." After May accidentally saw Peter in the Spider-Man suit, he and Tony caught her up to speed on everything that had happened. Well, he didn't mention the minor detail of a collapsed building almost crushing him. "Just, everything that happened affected me more than I thought, I guess. Sometimes I get nightmares. I fell asleep when Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner, and I were watching a movie and I don't remember if I had a nightmare or not but when I woke up I couldn't...I couldn't move." Peter's throat tightens and stops him from explaining any further.
"Couldn't move? What do you mean?" May asks patiently. She's a nurse, so it's almost like having a check-up over the phone. Still, Peter's not used to her trying to diagnose him, especially since he had become Spider-Man.
"I could feel my body, but I couldn't move it. And I could hear everything too! I just couldn't move or breathe and it sucked." He wipes his damp cheeks with his sleeve and sniffs. Calm down. You need to pull yourself together.
"It's okay Peter, you're safe," May soothes. "Do you need me to come pick you up?"
"No!" Peter quickly blurts out. "No, I just, I just needed to talk about it. I don't wanna be rude to Mr. Stark and leave when he has the rest of the weekend planned out." He hears his aunt sigh on the other end.
"Stark won't think you're weak for coming home," May tries to reason with him. He might not, but I will, Peter counters in his head.
"I know, May. I want to stay. I'm feeling better now, I promise." His voice sounds more confident now that he's starting to calm down. May takes another deep breath, probably trying to calm her own nerves too. It can't be easy for her to hear, especially after everything she's been through.
"Call me the second something happens, understand? No excuses. I know that the AI in your suit can make calls." She uses her stern voice. The same kind of tone she used when Peter came home after the news about the ferry and wasn't answering her calls.
"I understand."
"Stay safe, I love you." May's tone is soft and gentle again.
"Love you too." Peter hangs up and toss his phone onto the bed. He needs a shower, desperately, for his own sanity. Luckily, his room conveniently has its own bathroom. He walks through the door that separates his room from the bathroom and gladly pulls off the clothes he has been wearing for way too long. Not to mention he had to wear them underneath his suit during the fight, which definitely didn't help. He sighs contently when the warm water hits his back and he finally allows his tense muscles to relax.
"Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" He tilts his head back to wet his hair and lets the water wash over his face.
"Yes, Peter?" she answers.
"What's it like being an interface? Y'know, if I can ask?" Peter asks curiously, but also makes sure he's not overstepping any boundaries.
"Of course, it's not a problem. I don't exactly know what to compare my experiences to yours in a way that won't be confusing, though. I suppose it's like being connected to everything all at once. It isn't a feeling, but it's a freedom that is hard to explain. I know that at any point I can redirect my consciousness to anywhere in the Stark Industries Tower as well as Boss's suit." He lathers his hair up with shampoo as he listens to her explain.
"It must be a cool to be able to go anywhere you want. I guess you don't get bored then?" Can she get bored? I hope I'm not being insensitive.
"Not particularly. There is always something to do." He rinses his hair and moves onto the conditioner, which makes his hair surprisingly silky. He's not used to high-end hair products. Actually, he's not used to high-end anything.
"You don't ever get lonely? Like, not being bored and not being lonely are different things. I can be busy and have things to do, but still be lonely, y'know?" he tries to explain.
"I understand. I don't recall ever feeling lonely, though." He nods thoughtfully as he sits down and takes in the warmth. "Do you ever get lonely?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks.
"Sometimes. If May is working overtime and Ned is busy, then yeah. But not as much as I used to. Now whenever I feel bored or lonely or both, I put on the suit and patrol. Helping people makes me feel better and a bit less lonely, I guess. Like I'm useful." Water drips off the tip of his nose and cascades down his shoulders.
"You're a good person, Peter." He can't wrap his mind around how an AI can sound so sincere, but he can't help but smile.
"Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.. I sure hope so." He stays like this for a few minutes, just enjoying the feeling of the running water flow down his skin. Sometimes, it's nice to relax and enjoy the little things. Still, he decides to get out since he doesn't want to waste water and raise Tony's water bill. He knows Tony can afford it, but that'd be rude of him to take advantage of it. He's out in less than fifteen minutes and happy to get dried and dressed...into the same clothes that he has now been wearing for twenty-four hours. Fantastic.
Once he's dressed, he sprawls out on the bed and sifts through the messed up covers for his phone. When he turns it on, the screen flashes brightly. He quickly pulls it away from his face and sees dark splotches that stay in his vision for a few seconds. Before he opens it again, he carefully turns down the brightness so that he's not blinded again. He unlocks his phone and immediately goes to text Ned.
Guy in the Chair
Peter: hey Ned! hows it goin
Ned: hiiiii! im bored out of my mind dude
Ned: im working on that reading response thats due on monday and i SWEAR ive reread the same paragraph like five times and it still doesn't make any sense
Ned: save me ;-;
Peter: we got that assignment a week ago and youre just now doing it??
Peter: its hard to feel sorry for ya man
Ned: uggggggghh
Ned: forget about hw
Ned: hows living with Tony Stark?!?!?!
Ned: whatve you guys done??? besides fight that mysterio guy
Peter: Mr. Stark almost set the kitchen on fire so that was fun
Peter: besides that we havent actually done a lot
Peter: oh and we watched a movie with Dr. Banner
Ned: THE bruce banner?!?! Jksdhfjkhvue man your life is so awesome
Peter: haha i think it was called the goonies or something
Ned: that's a classic! how can you not know that movie??
Ned: mom used to put that movie on all the time it was great
Peter: its not myyyyy fault May never watched it
Peter: shouldnt you be focusing on your hw instead of being meeeean to me
Ned: youre??? the one??? who texted me first??????
Peter: technicalities
Peter: wait
Peter: why are doing hw at 9:30??
Ned: people do crazy things when their superhero best friend is busy with iron man instead keeping their Guy in the Chair™ company...
Peter: did you really just trademark yourself
Ned: yep
Ned: you have to pay me every time you say it now
Ned: then i'll be so rich that I'LL be the one hanging out with tony stark
Peter: pfffffft you wish
Ned: dude you have no idea
Ned: if only my superhero best friend would introduce me already...
Peter: im woooorking on it
Peter: every time i offer to ask him you freak out and change your mind
Ned: how could you call me out like that
Ned: i trusted you peter
Peter can't help but laugh as they continue to text. It isn't until around 12:30 am that Ned decides he needs to go to bed and they say their good nights. Peter puts his phone on the nightstand and takes a deep breath. Without the light from his phone, the room is pitch black and he can't help but feel unsettled. After a few minutes of sitting in the darkness, his anxiety makes hum sit up to grab his web-shooters out of the nightstand drawer. They aren't exactly the safest things to wear while he sleeps, but they make him feel...safe. Not just safe, but capable too. He knows that if something happens, he'll have his web-shooters on to help out. At least, he hopes he can help. He slides his web-shooters on and makes sure they're loaded by pressing his middle and ring finger down. When he hears the faint click, he smiles to himself. All locked and loaded!
Feeling a bit better, he lies back down and...well he'd like to sleep, but he just can't. He spends a few minutes trying to find a comfortable position, but somehow he's wide awake. After everything that has happened and how exhausted he feels, he still can't sleep. He feels like the universe just wants to see him suffer. Defeated, he sits up again and this time removes the covers. If he can't sleep, he might as well get a midnight snack to keep him company. He slowly opens his door to create as little noise as possible and practically tiptoes to the kitchen. He should've brought his phone with him since the only thing lighting the spacious room is the light from the city below leaking through the windows. A box of pizza is still sitting on the counter from our dinner and he doesn't think he could be any more grateful. He eagerly pulls out a piece of pineapple pizza and sighs when he takes a bite. Chills suddenly erupt from his shoulders and spread down his arms. His breathing stops. He drops his pizza and whips around to face the threat with both his web-shooters extended in front of him. He doesn't waste time in shooting his webs as soon as the figure is in view. The webs wrap around the torso of the intruder and Peter notices that...there's a bright blue light in the center of their chest. I'm dead. Deceased.
"Hey, kid," Tony greets nonchalantly with his sweatshirt coated in webbing. He looks at the ground where Peter's pizza now lies face down. "Late night snack, huh?" He carefully pulls his the sweatshirt over his head, turning it inside out as he does, so that the webbing doesn't get anywhere else.
"Mr. Stark, I'm so sorry! It was dark and, and you looked-"
"Stop apologizing so much. I shouldn't have snuck up on you, relax." He tosses his sweatshirt onto the couch and smooths his hair back.
"That'll, uh, dissolve in two hours. So, don't worry," Peter explains lamely. Tony picks up the piece of pizza off the ground with his index finger and thumb.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asks as he throws the pizza into the garbage.
"Nah, just hungry. You?" Liar. All you do is lie. Peter rubs his hands together awkwardly.
"I'm not used to going to sleep this early," Tony shrugs nonchalantly "I've been in the workshop."
"Early? You do realize that it's, like, almost one in the morning, right?" Peter clarifies, raising an eyebrow.
"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be awake," Tony accuses before grabbing his own piece of pizza. "How are you feeling?" The question takes Peter slightly off guard. Tony instantly tries to search his head for a joke to conceal the concern that escaped him, but Peter nods.
"Good! Yeah, feeling better," Peter reassures him. He gets himself a replacement piece of pizza and holds it with both hands to make sure he doesn't drop it. Tony raises a skeptical eyebrow.
"What do you say we have a bit of a field trip tomorrow? Get out of the Tower. Maybe some lunch, some shopping," Tony offers, taking another bite.
"That sounds great, Mr. Stark, but I...can't."
"That's a bit vague," he narrows his eyes. "Why not?" He definitely isn't used to being told "no."
"Well..." Peter's cheeks heat up with embarrassment "I don't have the money for that kind of thing." Tony opens his mouth to argue, but Peter quickly interrupts him. "And I'm not going to take any of your money!" he adds in a breath.
"Technically I'm your boss, which means you have to listen to me. Respect your elders, kid. We'll get you some new clothes too." Before Peter can protest, Tony turns around and heads back to his room. Peter stands in silence, utterly speechless. I'm going on a shopping spree...with Mr. Stark?
Notes:
Who wouldn't want to go on a shopping spree with Tony Stark,,, Fun stuff next chapter!
ALSO officially over 100 pages in!! See you all on Saturday and thank you for reading!