name:- Lost & Found
word count:- 3000 words
published on:- 28th June, 2019
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[Remember, Cyber Bullying is a crime. People on the other end of the device are humans and have hearts. StopBullying, StopBashing.]
[unedited]
M A N I K
The Malhotra Residence
Promises. Making them is always easy, but fulfilling them? That's where the nerves kick in. We all make promises at the skip of our tongue, atleast one every day. But no one ever keeps them. When was the last time you put in actual effort to keep a promise? I'm sure you don't remember. That's the thing right there. No one does.
I made a promise last night. To visit Home for breakfast. And as much tempted I was to sleep the morning lazily in my bed and make a simple excuse when I get up to my Mom, I couldn't do that. The simple thought of her preparing my favourite food, waiting for me and then after sitting alone on the dining for an hour, realising that I wasn't going to turn up, the disappointment and the loneliness that would cross her then. I just couldn't.
I stepped inside the huge mansion I once called home. This was the second time I ever came back after shifting out, and I realised this was never home. It was simply a house where four-- three people lived, and now just two. There was no warmth, no happiness; and even if it were there, it was hidden somewhere deep between the bricks of the walls, painted and layered with a concrete of emotionlessness, and no was ready to dig in to find the love just yet.
"Dad," I said as I walked in, taking in the plain walls and esquisitive pastel furniture, huge chandeliers on the ceilings throwing yellow light all over the living room admits the sunlight. My dad was on one of the couches, still in his night robes, reading the news from an iPad in front of his eyes. I could see my voice startled him, but he didn't look up, immediately covered anything my voice made him feel and curtly nodded.
Mom came out of the kitchen, giving me an aye to eye smile. "You came!" She said. I bet she hadn't expected I would come. But guess, I loved giving surprises.
"I did," I smiled back, hugging her, "What's for breakfast?"
Her eyes were glistening with tears, and I pretended I was oblivious of it, "Your favourite," she croaked, "Everything's your favourite. Dosas and Idlis and that special juice you loved since you were eight and crossiants and Waffles and Maple sauce and... also, peanut butter sandwiches with peppermint dip."
"You made so much?" I laughed, sitting on the table.
"Yes!" She said, sitting across me, the smile not leaving her face, "I also wanted to make that chocolate butter pancake with sprinkles but your father insisted it would be too much for breakfast," she said sheepishly as my father sat on the third chair. I just smiled.
"Of course I did. You were making breakfast for one normal man, not some royal king," Dad scoffed as I took the first bite of my Idli.
I scoffed back, "Looks like someone has had time to look up from their iPad. To what have I received this honour?"
"Oh please!" He retaliated, "I was looking into the share market. You should know that as a good businessman, it is important to be updated about--" He started but I cut him off.
"I don't know!" I shouted, "Guess what? I don't know and I wouldn't because I. Am. Not. A. Businessman."
I digged into my plate, not wanting to see the expression on my father's face. So much for coming back home, isn't it?
"Then you'd learn to be one," he said after a moment, his voice softer.
"I don't want to, Dad," I whispered back, looking at him, "That's not where my heart is. I don't want to take over your business. I want Music."
"That's not an option, Manik," he said, his voice stern. And just when we thought we were finally having a real, heart to heart conversation, he had to say this.
"Then make it one," I said, equal determination in my voice, "Because I am not going to take over your business and be tortured every single day by giving up something I love."
"Manik!" Mom called, showing me her eyes and then to Dad, "Eat. Both of you."
"This is not torture, son," He said after a while again. "You'd see it when you grow up, how important it is to leave something so large in someone's hand who is reliable. I love you, which is why I want you to take over, and not spoil your life on Music. That will fetch you nothing."
"That's exaggeratation. Nothing? Even when Music gives me nothing, it is required to keep my heart beating. Is it more important to keep your business in safe hands or to keep my heart beating, Dad?" I retaliate.
"I never wanted business when I was your age too. But I learnt it. You have to man up Manik, step up and take your responsibilities seriously!" He raised his voice again.
"Then I don't want to learn it!" I shouted louder, "I don't want to be you!"
His eyes remained plastered to the dining table as the words left my mouth and mom gasped. I took a deep breath, "I am not you, Dad. I can't wear a facade over my face, forget what I loved and go on in life pretending to be happy like you did when my mother died."
"You will like London," he said quietly.
I gave a sarcastic laugh, "And there you spin the topic again. Because talking about my real mother's death in this house is a fucking crime!"
"And London? Did you say London? I will never ever step back into that place and you sure as hell know why!" I gritted.
"A few bad memories don't change the way--"
"A few bad memories?" I laughed before shouting, "My mother died in London, Dad. It's not a bad memory for me. It's the turning point of my whole life, the place where the woman I loved the most left me!"
"Manik--" Mom tried keeping her hand on mine.
"NO!" I said, "Don't stop me, not today. You were not even there when this happened." Her hand left mine as I let anger take control over me.
"I am tired, Dad. It's been ten years now and not once have I heard you speak her name in front of me. You put on a charade Dad. Did Mum's death never affect you? How could you just move on so simply and pretend like she never existed, pretend like she was never your wife or that you never loved her? You went on in life like she did not matter, Dad," I shouted.
"And no one deserves this. No dead person deserves to be forgotten, and especially not my mother. She was a wonderful lady and she deserves to be remembered and loved even long after she is gone. We don't even talk about her as if taking her name is a sin. Why? What wrong did she ever do to cold your frozen heart more?" I shouted as much as I could and then fell all silent.
"Is that-- Is that why're you punishing me?" I asked after a while, "Is that why you want to take away everything I love, and send me back to London to suffer-- to be there in that city and relive my mother's death a hundred times until I die? Is this a punishment because you hold me responsible for her death like the world too?"
No one spoke a word. Neither of them had answers the questions I had dared to ask.
I grabbed my car keys and phone in front of me. "I've lost appetite. Thanks for the breakfast, nice talking," I gave them a smile before I got up and left.
My phone buzzed in my hand as I cut the call without checking the caller and switched it off throwing it on the backseat of my car as I drove off to wherever my heart guided me, blasting the music and tuning out the world completely.
Coming here was a fucking mistake.
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N A N D I N I
I paced around the living room impatiently.
One.
Two.
Three.
"Nandini, chill!" Abhi intruded my thoughts and new calming method by counting numbers.
"It's been four hours he's missing, how can I chill?" I whisper freaked, giving him an unbelievable look.
"He's not a kid, Nandini! He's not missing. He's just gone somewhere without telling you. There's a difference!" Mukti rolled her eyes sitting on the couch. I sighed.
"He's not at his home... parent's home I mean!" Cabir announced walking in front the main door which was left open due to my oblivion. "Not even in the café," Aryamman trailed behind him.
"No one in college knows. Raghav Sir said he hasn't come to the music room too," Aliya stepped out of my room as she disconnected the phone.
My heart paced as my eyes set on all the luggage dumped in one corner. We were supposed to leave for Mangalore by now. Where was Manik?
"It's not the first time Manik has claimed his time alone by disappearing without telling us. Why are you all freaking out? Give him some time, he'd come around," Mukti persuaded.
"But Mukti, we were supposed to leave today. His bags are packed, which means he hasn't forgotten. And if he hasn't turned up after his breakfast with his parents and his phone is switched off and he's no where we know, it could mean trouble. We have to--" Navya began explaining.
"How are you so calm, Mukti?" I cut Navya off in the middle. I was too tired of the same things again and again, "Do you know where he is?"
"Why am I so calm?" She scoffed, "Look at yourselves. Why are you not calm?" She shouted back, "It's not the first time that Manik has bailed out on us. We haven't ever been so hyped before. He needs his time, we're giving him that. Let's not be nosy in his matters--."
"Yeah, that was before we knew Manik was facing problems with his parents and that he had shifted out. What if Navya is right, what if he is really in trouble?" Aryamman argued.
"I don't care!" I shouted in frustration, "Even it is taking his own time, he should let us know and then go wherever. You say he's done this a lot and it must be normal for you but it's not normal for me! He has never gone anywhere without telling me so now that he has gone, I can sense something is wrong," I was freaking out.
"Something's wrong?" Mukti laughed, "And just because he didn't tell you right? Then sorry to break your bubble, Nandini... but you know Manik since five months and we know him since more than five years. If he doesn't tell us where he's going when he needs his own time, why would he tell you? You're not so special that everything in this world has to revolve around you!" She shouted louder than any of our voices. Everyone was stunned and I was totally caught off guard as I stared at her in shock.
"Which is unless you're his girlfriend or something and that is another thing you're hiding from us all," she scoffed. We all stayed silent, and I was too numb to speak a word. "You know what, I'm out of here. When Manik comes back and if he still cares about any of us more than Nandini, ask him to come talk to me!" She said before grabbing her bag pack and barging out of the house.
I stared at her retreating figure dumbfounded. Abhi got up to follow her but Aliya stopped him and ran after her.
I just covered my face in surprise or shock and fell back to the couch. "Standing here would fetch us nothing. Abhi, go after Aliya and Mukti, see if they need anything. Navya, go with Aryamman and check if there's any place y'all thing Manik would be. Check cafés, beaches, anywhere. I and Nandini have somewhere else to go and look," Cabir said. They all nodded and dispersed without a word.
"Nandini," Cabir said softly as he sat beside me.
"Don't," I said, collecting myself. "I-- I--" a small tear drop fell of my left eye and I wiped it off from the very rim. "I'm sorry, I panicked. I-- I'm just lost without him," I stammered, "Its the first time he's ever done this, I freaked out. I-- I--" my voice faded when he wrapped his arms around me and took me in a side hug as I collected myself again, piece by piece.
"I'm fine," I said after a few minutes, "Let's go, get back to work. He's always been there when I've needed him, it's my turn now. Let's go find your stupid best friend," I gave Cabir a smile as we got up.
I took the keys and locked the door behind us, "Any guesses where he could be?" Cabir asked. I nodded negatively. "We've seen everywhere, although there is a place. I doubt he'd be there but we're running out of options," I say as we walk down the stairs and into his car.
"Take the risk. Isn't he worth it?" Cabir asked. I nodded, smiling,
"He's worth every risk, Cabir," I said, as we fastened the seatbelt's and rode off.
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"How do you know of this place?" Cabir asked when we got down.
"He got me on a date here. Do you know of this?" I ask back, looking around the lush green trees, rocky edges and distantly to the yellow city lights. Manik was right, this place, although surreal, looking much better at night.
"Manik used to come for cliff diving here with his brother," Cabir informed, "After his brother left for London for his undergraduation, he brought me here. That was when I first met Manik, the real him. No one's ever come with him here since. Guess you must be really special to him if he's brought you here." He said and I smiled softly.
We spotted Manik's car in the distance, and my heart relieved. "Go ahead," Cabir nudged. I nodded negatively, "You go ahead. I didn't even know Manik has a brother who's in London now."
"You said you wanted to be there for him. Go." He pushed me ahead. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before finally walking deeper, knowing exactly where to find him.
He sat there facing the cliff, his feet hanging in gin the air, staring into the water as if that were an abyss. I walked closer quietly, not wanting to alert him suddenly.
"Why are you here?" He asked, alerting me instead. His voice was cold and harsh unlike the warmth I had known. He didn't even turn around, how did he know I was here?
"I found you," I said softly, sitting next to him, "you disappeared."
"I didn't disappear, I need some me time. It's common sense that when I am not picking up your call, it means I don't want to have any of you around," he scoffed.
"Okay, mister grumpy pants!" I retaliated, "I just wanted to be there for you."
"I told you I don't need anyone. Go!" He said without looking at me.
"You don't get to do that!" I scoffed, "That's unfair." He looked at me, giving me a mad woman look.
"Yeah, c'mon. Whenever I'm upset or I'm mad or I'm not good, I have to come to you. It's an unspoken rule that you've established, right? But when you need someone, you shut me off? That's not correct," I pointed. He rolled his eyes.
"Talk to me, Manik!" I ordered.
"I don't want to," He said turning his head away.
"Then atleast explain why you didn't turn up when we were all ready to leave for Mangalore?" I blamed.
Guiltiness flashed across his face, "Fuck," he hissed as he covered it up with a straight face. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have-- It just completely slipped off my mind. I-- Shit. Everyone must be waiting right?"
"Were waiting," I corrected, "Now, everyone's busy finding you."
"I'm sorry," he sighed. He sounded so tired that he didn't even put up a fight and it killed me to see him so weak and vulnerable like I never had but I kept reminding myself that it was okay. It was okay to not be okay sometimes and who knew it better than me?
"Manik," I called out, taking his face delicately in my hands, "It's alright. We're your friends. We care about you and nothing matters to us more than the fact that you are okay. You don't need to be guilty or hold that up against yourself, okay?"
"Friends?" He scoffed, "Is that what we are Nandini? Friends?"
I retaliated, "Manik--", I wasn't able to say anything.
He sighed. "You should go," he said, shutting me out.
"I'm sorry, what?" I said in disbelief, "I thought we just got past that you pushing me away when you shouldn't conversation."
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes.
"You're being unbelievable. You just got mad at me again because I called us friends?" I shouted.
"No!" He scoffed back, "I am mad at myself that I couldn't tell you sooner."
"Tell me what?" I shouted back. He looked at me for a peachy second.
"That I like you more than I have ever liked anyone else and I think I'm falling in love with you, idiot."
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