'You hadn't heard from him all day, he wasn't replying to your texts, no one had seen him either. And when lunchtime passed, you felt your nerves going wild with imagination, not being able to handle it anymore when he hadn't showed up to the volleyball meet up.
You'd wasted no time in running off. You'd been to his house plenty of times, that your body felt like it was running on autopilot as your feet dashed up the stone steps that led into his all too familiar home.
You knocked the door, not gaining a response, you bent down, lifting the side of the mat and retrieving the key that shimmered in the grey light of the sky.
When the door swung open, your eyes brushed upon the furnishings whilst kicking off your shoes impatiently, all soft colours, plants placed in almost every corner. A million frames on the walls. It was dark in response to the dimming sky, clouds gathering quickly.
You turned, locking the door behind you, stumbling towards the stairs, you trotted up them, smiling slightly at the customary feeling of the worn down wood sliding against the palm of your hand, the softness of the carpet under your feet.
You slowed your pace as you got into hall, your eyes looking desperately before finding it, his open door. You sighed with relief, gently edging towards the opening, poking your head around the side of it.
There he sat, his silver locks shining even in the dim light of the afternoon. Turned away from you, gazing out the window, a black shirt hanging from his frame.
You'd always loved Sugas room, so full of things. Posters lined the walls, old toys now used as ornaments sat upon the shelves, anything he'd found on their adventures would always be found present here. There were pieces of you too, shoes you'd hidden here, notes and scribbles you'd left for him, things you'd found too which you'd instantly brought to him. As much as it was his home, you felt like it was yours too.
You neared him, he was sat on the window stool. You could see his reflection in the window, how his eyes settled on the green trees that ruffled in the harsh wind, before searching the sky with blatant curiosity. A smile tugging at the corner of your lips, taking a sudden spark to the beauty mark that sat sweetly just under his left eye.
You shuddered a little, catching his orbs landing on your reflection, a weak smile spreading across his lips before dropping again.
You shifted, moving to sit next to him, your arm brushing against his as you faced him with concern,"Suga is everything okay?"
He gave you a sideways glance,"I really can't hide anything from you can I?"
"No," you shook your head, hunching over, tugging at the strings of your hoodie, nuzzling your face into it.
"How could you tell?," he turned his attention back to the window,"What was it this time?"
"I felt it in my soul," you glanced down at your nails,"we have that deep like spiritual connection- you know? Like it's impossible for you to keep secrets from me."
"I had a lip piercing for six weeks and you didn't even notice," he shook his head, smirking lightly.
"That's different!," you snapped," I was recovering!"
"From what?," he huffed,"swim free ending?"
"Exactly," you nodded,"that's exactly what I needed to recover from - also I don't advise you doing that, like ever again."
"Mhm," he let out a warm smile, but it was missing something - it wasn't...refreshing?
"So," you moved, bumping against his side,"what's up?"
He sighed slightly, playing with the strings of his sweat pants, tugging and twirling them in between his fingers,"me and my dad got into a fight."
"Again?," you pouted,"I thought things were getting good?"
"Yeah," he huffed,"yeah me too - until he started taking interest in what I'm planning on doing when I leave high school, and when I mentioned volleyball - well that was it wasn't it?"
"That's bull," you arched your brows,"how can you even have an answer to that anyways? We're first years."
"Yeah," he looked down at his hands,"I kind of expect it now though, it's just - mom got a little upset this time so she took off, my dad blamed me and well - I don't know where she is."
You puffed out a sigh, flopping your head against his shoulder, embracing the rough smell of peppermint that came with him,"I'm sorry, that sucks - you should've called me."
"I kinda wanted to be alone," he said leaning his head against yours,"I just- I don't want to try anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm never gonna be enough for him," he breathed deeply,"I just- I don't want to hold myself back."
You moved, placing your hand in his still one, curling your fingers around it,"then don't, be who I know you are, who we all know you are - the great kni-."
"Please don't say that," he clenched his eyes shut, his long lashes brushing quickly against the tips of his cheekbones.
"Kou," you sat up straight, his head falling lazily, before you slid a hand against his cheek, holding it up. His pretty eyes gazing into yours, though now they were tired. You smiled, composing yourself. Suga was beautiful, you'd always thought that and being able to be this close to him felt almost too bitter sweet to you," you're incredible, there's nothing you can't do and no one - not even your dad can take that away from you! Look I don't exactly know what I'm talking about most of the time but I know that I never want you to be alone if another thing like this arises again okay? I want you to call me, I'll come running - I promise-."
"Me too, me too-."
"Shhh!," you placed a finger against his lips, he held in a breath, feeling his cheeks burn,"You're enough Kou, you'll always be enough, you're kind and funny and smart and a really sh**ty dancer."
You both giggled weakly, when he looked back up at you, you saw that the lines on his face had changed ,now tired and yet full of content. You had to compose yourself again, forcing your feet hard against the floor to stop your knees from shaking,"and well," you looked off at the ground before gazing back at him.
"Yeah?," he urged.
You frowned slightly, feeling your lips quiver ,"I was just- really worried about you today-."
He laughed a little, instantly shifting, wrapping his arms around you, your head falling into his chest,"(f/n) hey! Hey! It's fine I'm alive!"
"Mhm," you nodded, trying not to sob like a child. You were around him too much, it was actually as though you got withdrawals when he wasn't around.
He turned his head down, burying half of his face in your hair,"You hormonal honey?"
You nodded, leaning further into him, his warmth easing you.
"There's ice cream in the freezer if you want some," he smiled to himself,"we could eat some - maybe watch a comedy or-."
"It's raining."
He turned his attention to the window, watching as the heavens exploded, releasing an army of droplets from the clouds, swirling in the wind, knocking against the roofs of neighbouring houses.
He watched your reflection, your eyes gazing out at the chaos in wonder. And for a moment he became aware of your body against his, how you always found yourself like this - maybe it was meant to be that way? He shuddered. No. He didn't feel like that.
But just like jelly, he went weak at the sight of your wide eyes gazing around in curiosity, the way your lips parted delicately, how your hair fell against him in a cluster of loops.
And it was in that moment that he swore he'd never leave your side, that he'd stick by you always. Because he didn't know how he'd do it without you, how he'd ever keep going...
"Hey (f/n), about that stuff you said - is it true?"
"Yeah," you nodded, wrapping your arms around him tighter,"I promise."
"You won't leave right, you'll stay tonight yeah?"
"I'm not leaving Suga, never. You're always gonna have to put up with me - now that's something you can be sure of."
*
He brushed himself off, waiting for them to answer the door. It felt odd to be standing there in front of his house again, like they used to every Saturday, ready for whatever plans they'd conjured up. It really showed a different side to them, but mainly it reminded them that they were still kids- although not so much anymore.
He shifted when the door opened, revealing two boys with wide grins on their faces, their eyes content on their friend.
"SUGAMAMA!," Daichi yelled, practically throwing himself at his friend, his opened Hawaiian shirt flaring up behind him,"YOU ACTUALLY CAME!?"
"Y-Yeah," he choked slightly, the captains grip a bit too tight to handle.
"Daichi please stop," Asahi quivered,"you're choking him."
"OH," Daichi pulled away, sticking out his lips in an over dramatic pout,"I'm guessing that's the closest to any action you've got lately huh? I don't want to give you the wrong idea."
"Hello to you to," he shot his friend a glare,"who's even into that stuff anyways?"
"ASAHI!," he yelled, rushing back into the doorway, barging past their tall companion.
"W-What no!," he spat after the dark haired boy, blush coating his face.
"How are you father?," Suga asked, gazing up at the ex ace with a teasing expression,"I promise you I have not sinned."
"Suga I swear to God-."
"Why would you swear to yourself? That's just weird Azu," Suga barged past him flicking off his shoes before heading towards the living room.
"Okay for the record I look like Jesus not god," Asahi followed swiftly, chasing after him in his jeans and loose plain green polo.
"Have you ever heard of the holy trinity? Cause that's like a thing-."
"Suga!?"
He turned gazing at a girl with dark hair, her eyes wide a blue, a warm smile on her face as she waltz over to him,"I didn't know you were coming."
"Kiyoko," he reached, scratching the back of his head,"h-hi."
"I'm gonna- excuse myself," Asahi slipped past the two of them turning his attention to Daichi who seemed to be swearing in the kitchen - which was never a good sign.
"I feel like it's been forever," she beamed, she looked as she always had, like a girl who knew what she wanted, despite how quiet she had been during high school - though she had changed a little, no glasses rested on her nose, presumably replaced by contacts, she stood there in a skin tight black dress - which was...different.
Suga averted his eyes quickly, gazing back up at her face,"Yeah it's been a long time."
He tried not to think about what had happened between them, whether anything she'd said still stranded and if so - what did it mean now? It was almost impossible to suppress the thoughts, as she continued to talk, flicking her hair elegantly over her bare shoulder, her dainty hands reaching and brushing against his arm as she talked.
"So you get it right?," she smiled, more talkative now than she'd usually been before.
"S-sorry?," he raised an eyebrow, blushing slightly . 'I have no f**king idea what she just said.'
"Awh you must be tired," she chirped, gripping for a bottle and handing it to him,"loosen up, it's supposed to be a party!"
"A very small one at that," Asahi popped his head around the kitchen door, his hair falling around his shoulder, like the model from a maybelline advert.
"Don't tell me, he's burnt the food hasn't he?"
Suga turned, his gaze landing on her, unable to stop himself from smiling, she smirked back at him. Yui was stood in the doorway, her short chocolate locks glossy, her lips tinted with red lipstick that matched her spotted red midi dress that complimented her small frame.
"Babe," Suga gazed at Daichi who looked back at her with sweat on his forehead,"I swear, I haven't - *whispering* ASAHI DONT ORDER EXTRA RICE! YOURE LIKE THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES IT!"
Yui smiled sweetly at him before turning her attention to Suga, wrapping an arm around him,"so what's the news from the city?"
He contemplated telling her for a moment before glancing at Kiyoko who was giggling at Daichi and Asahi as they squabbled. No, he wouldn't ruin it.
"Nothing," he placed a hand on her shoulder,"there's really nothing to talk about."
"You sure?," she furrowed her eyebrows,"I've been trying to get hold of (f/n) but I can't? She's okay right?"
"Yeah," he nodded,"Yeah she's fine."
*
The car ride had been brutally quiet, you'd hardly moved. The air hadn't eased since Akaashi had told you, after you'd instantly grown silent, following him without any questions once he'd agreed to take you.
When you'd gotten to he building you didn't quite know what to do, which had sparked you to run through the doors, demanding the room number from the head desk before practically booting through the halls, having to be slowed down by Akaashi who claimed you probably had to tone your actions down a little due to your current state - you'd been very close to telling him to shove it where the sun don't shine.
But now you stood outside the door, hesitating whether to open it or not. When you thought of him, you remembered him the way he was, all small smirks and addictive eyes - you didn't want to lose that.
"You don't have to, if you don't feel like you're ready," Akaashi was looking at you, his eyes gentle on you.
You lay your palm flat against the wood," he's here right?"
Akaashi nodded, biting his lip slightly, watching as you attempted to compose yourself, closing your eyes and taking a breath for a brief moment.
"I-I've got to see him," you gulped, feeling your breath rattle in your throat, before pushing against the door, taking a hesitant step in only to find your chest sinking.
"No," you whispered,"no,no,no-," you could feel the tears gathering again as you neared him. Your heart beating faster and faster each wobbly step you took.
His face was still, his whole body was still. His eyes closed gently, those long dark lashes you adored so much stark against his skin that represented the frail beauty of snow. Though his hair was soft and wild like it usually was, that only made you notice the things that had changed. The cuts that lined him all over, bright red, tormenting you as you took it in, his left elbow plastered all over, his right leg held in place with extreme support bands. No colour was visible on him apart from the marks the event had left behind along with the cruel bruises you'd noticed just a few days ago.
You gulped at the sight of the tube that had been placed in his mouth, the mask that covered his lips, flinching at the heart monitor that clicked with little sympathy of the atmosphere. You held in your breath leaning in lightly.
"K-Kuroo? Tetsu it's me? I-I'm here-," you gripped at his hand gently, more tears gushing out at the sensation of his fingers against your palm, soft ,limp and cold in your grasp.
"He-he hasn't woke up yet," Akaashi half whispered, keeping the respectable distance from the two of you,"he's going into his second op tomorrow, it's all really riding on his recovery."
"But he'll wake up right?," you glanced over at Akaashi who instantly turned away, not wanting to face you.
You closed your eyes as you sobbed, melting into the ground next to hospital bed, your knees rough against the pristine floors, your grip not moving from his hand,"it's all my fault."
"(L/N)-."
"It is," you whispered, "if I'd just trusted him, none of this would have happened-."
"You don't know that-."
"Of course I do," you brought your hand up, brushing at the boys face as your fingers shook, biting down on your lip harshly,"Akaashi I want him back..., why won't he wake up? Why won't he come back? Why-."
"(L/n)," he started towards you.
Your heart started hammering against your chest, the air in your lungs decreasing by the second, pulling your whole body in on itself. You couldn't cope, seeing him so lifeless, you wanted it to all be fake, for him to get up and hold you, to tell you it was alright - but the paleness of his lips and the shallowness of his breath left you corrected.
"Kuroo wake up! I need you-,"you pleaded, gripping tightly at his hand, the sobs forcing their way through your lips ,"p-please I can't do this without you, I-I'm so scared I-."
You leaned in, resting your head next to his, closing your eyes firmly,"p-please?-," you lifted your head slowly, letting out a larger sob at the absence of his response. Instantly you were pulled back into a hug, Akaashi holding you firmly as you let it all out into his chest, your mascara staining his shirt, having already smudged upon your blotchy cheeks.
He didn't know what to say, what to do. He felt that maybe if he held your quivering body for long enough then maybe he'd be able to fit all the broken pieces back together, maybe he could actually help you. He tried to imagine how he'd feel, if it had been Bokuto in that hospital bed - he shot the thought down instantly, not being able to confront the possibility.
His eyes shot up as the door opened, Bokuto stepping through, his gaze landing on them. For a moment his face was absent of expression, before aggravation lined it, mixed with a hint of anger. Akaashis eyes widened.
"Get out!," he said through gritted teeth, pointing firmly towards the door.
You turned in his grasp, your puffy eyes landing on Bokuto - your heart racing faster at the fury that seemed to echo within his golden eyes.
"Bo," Akaashi started, holding up a hand.
"Get her f**king out of here now!," he spat throwing his jacket down on the chair that sat sadly in the corner.
Akaashis eyes were wide, his grip on you becoming tighter by the instant,"Bokuto you have no right-."
"SHE DID THIS TO HIM!," he roared, gritting his teeth,"SHE HAS NO RIGHT !"
"(L/n)," Akaashi looked down at you, you returned his gaze with a shocked stare, gulping although your throat was rough a dry.
You glanced back over at Bokuto who seemed to be shaking with frustration and instantly your hand found Kuroos limp one. You took it immediately, leaning down to plant a small peck on his forehead, wincing at the smell of his skin - too clean.
You raised, although you shook you faced Bokuto,"I'll leave, if it means you'll stop raising your voice," you choked,"because Kuroo doesn't deserve that."
Bokutos gaze on you was firm, forcing you to take a deep breath and head towards the door.
Akaashi looked towards his boyfriend, his heart racing, slamming against his rib cage. He'd never raised his voice at him before. He was terrified of the look in his eyes, and after a moment he too turned on his heel, cursing when he flinched as he passed Bokuto, who turned to look at him with and unreadable expression.
When the door was firmly closed behind him, he shook his head, running a hand down his face, stress hitting him without warning before he was swiftly reminded of you.
"Hey," he whispered,"what you did in there was really m-."
He broke off, his heart skipping a beat as he caught you in his eye. Your back against the wall, your chest rising and falling dangerously fast, sweat dripping down your forehead plastering your (h/c) locks to your skin. Your hand lay violently firm against your mouth, as tears gushed from your wide (e/c) eyes.
"A-are you okay?"
You couldn't handle it, he was right. It really was your fault.... and now you were.... alone... his words echoing in your mind over and over, the disgusted look he gave you, clutching at your chest...
'"SHE DID THIS TO HIM!"'
⭐️M888888 (Daichi is the title image purely cause I wanted to share how hot that pic is :)) Yw)- What are your thoughts so far?💭⭐️