It didn't take long for me to go to my room, all I wanted was to finally lay on my bed and close my eyes. I needed them to stop, all these thoughts, I needed them to vanish but they never did. I tried pushing them to the back of my mind but no, the always returned even stronger and with more force. So, I shut my eyes and soon I was enveloped by sleep.
The next morning I woke up full of energy. I woke up the way kings wake, just the same. We were all blessed with the same time, the same experience of consciousness. My eyes greeted the dayshine, my heart and lungs expanded. At first there were the dreams, then the sense of welcoming a new day, the anticipation of whatever would come.
I slowly got up and let my feet touch the soft carpet, a shiver run inside my body almost instantly. I quickly tiptoed till the bathroom. I stripped down and stepped slowly into the tub, turning the water on high and letting it beat over my head in steamy rivulets. Closing my eyes to the water as the heat soaked into my skin, I leaned against the cool tiles enjoying every moment.
The water poured down, it dripped by my side, as my mind faded into dullness and everything was a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calmed me. It took my mind off things. My mind swirled, and it was as if I was standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but it could never last, I knew that now.
As soon as I finished my shower I put on my black trousers and a simple black top. I let my hair down, dancing in the wind. Today I had to do many things, firstly, I had to go shopping and buy new clothes. I had to change my hair and style. Most importantly I had to find someone who would be willing to make me a fake ID and a passport. My day would be for sure busy.
As soon as I opened the door of my room a bumped into a tall man. I decided not to get angry, so I looked up and forced a smile.
"Are you alright?" he asked me clumsily. The tall man steadied me. His hands were warm on my shoulders.
"I am fine, thank you," I replied in a casual tone.
"And here I thought Detroit would be boring," he smirked. His accent was British."I do not enjoy drinking coffee alone so what do you say?"
"How would I possibly go for coffee with a complete stranger?" I replied mockingly.
"I am Elliot." he extended a hand and I shook it. His hand was soft and warm upon my palm.
"Alice, nice to meet you," I smiled. "I would love to come for that coffee only if you promise to give me a tour. I have heard that 'Detroit by night' is...exciting"
"Sure why not. Anything in particular that you would like to see?" he asked me playfully.
"Oh you know basic stuff. Just all the shady bars where I could find someone to make me a fake ID and a passport," I laughed while hitting his shoulder playfully.
He stood there without talking, hell I thought he wasn't even blinking but finally he laughed with me. What he didn't know was that he had just verified to me that indeed, he knew those shady bars. He was exactly what I needed, he would point out the road for me and I would finally leave and go to Australia.
"Shall we?"
"Most certainly."
We started walking down the stairs and got out of the hotel. He lead me into a cozy cafeteria down the street. It was early and the machines were yet to warm, so I pondered this chance to rest a moment longer, to just enjoy my surroundings. I took a good look inside the cafeteria, the barista had tired eyes, yet there was that glimmer, a give away of her good heart. I guessed that she was one of those surviving sparks, one of the ones who held on to who they really are.
I had a whole conversation planned for me and Elliot. His steady gaze flickered from me to the other customers. He would give me what I wanted. I would make sure. I removed my elbows from our table and sat a little straighter. From the corner of my eye I caught a young woman staring at us, her lank mousey hair fell in ribbons on her color drained t-shirt.
In her hand was a small writing pad and a biro, she was the waitress. Elliot nodded and she approached us, we ordered and then we were left alone once again.
"So Elliot, are you from around here?" I asked him without really caring.
"Yes, I have lived all my life here," he kindly replied. "So I guess you're not from around here."
"No. You know, I would love for us to go out in the night. I don't really know anyone here so it would be great if you could show me around," I flipped my hair and smiled sweetly.
"Sure that would be great. We can meet in the front door of our hotel at eight."
I gave him my biggest smile while sipping from my coffee. I would play all my cards to get my revenge. Maybe I would catch a bullet in a few months or some other fate, but there were many people who didn't even lived to see my age or have a fraction of the amount of love in their lives that I already had, so who am I to hide under a rock?
After one hour of stupid giggling and useless conversations we finally took our separate ways. It was very strange, how people could be so easily deceived if you only gave them a small piece of what they really wanted. They just become so enchanted and blind. They don't see behind all those fake smiles, intentional gestures and jokes.
People were weird. Hell I was weird too. We forgive others so easily, we really do. After everything we would love them the same as a person may love a dog that bit them over and over, choosing to keep themselves safe from the sharp teeth and powerful jaws. Elliot was a silly man, looking for a fling or maybe something serious, I would never know.
As I was walking I interrupted my thoughts to rush inside a store to buy new clothes. I bought many different kind of clothes, dresses mostly but also jeans and t-shirts. I can't complain, my evening passed rather quickly with my searching for clothes in every nice store I saw. On my way back to the hotel I came across a restaurant and decided to eat there instead of going back to eat at the hotel. Mostly I didn't want to fall face to face with Elliot first, a woman who is absent all day creates a kind of mystery around her.
As I soon as I entered the restaurant I noticed that it was full. I looked around at the busy tables. An old couple eating side by side, one glass of wine each, studiously bent over their meals. A group of young women in their thirties collapsing with helpless giggles as a stern woman dining alone nearby looked on and frowned. A family and their teenage children. The noise level was high. The smoke level, too. But it didn't bother me.
I actually loved seeing all those different people just sitting there, enjoying theirselves. Everyone was thinking about different things, having different problems and different needs. I found it strange, everyone seemed too happy and too excited and no one really showed how they really felt.
Right when everyone was about to give up, when they were about to let go of the dwindling ray of hope that flickered dangerously inside them, the blanket of blackness was replaced by bursts of light that pierced through the darkness. It was like the heavens had given them another chance to live their life right, and my heart soared, mending itself once more. If they could do it, I could too.
I was saved. Waves of happiness and relief washed over me, and I felt it soak right into my bones. Dizzy with exaltation, I closed my eyes and savoured the felicity that fizzled in my heart. If all the others could pretend I could do it too. Would that make me a hypocrite? Of course not, everyone was pretending to be happy.
In a world where everyone was pretending I wouldn't be called a hypocrite by doing the same. If I could be called something, it would be...I don't know. I knew that I had found my first pioneer, Elliot was just one of the many that would come.
"Hello."
The waiter's expression was blank, when did hello become so insignificant? One word used to be a basis for communication, one word could create or break relationships it had now become nothing more than an acknowledgement of existence. No one bothered to say anything of meaning anymore. We were stuck in an endless loop, oblivious to the importance of people.
People. I was now using Elliot. People were just tools in our pointless existence, a way for us to try and convince ourselves of our own importance. We put on a mask of false friendliness, fake a smile and feign meaningful conversation, and then move on, forgetting that the other person was anyone of value.
"Hello," I replied and ordered, then I moved on as everyone did.