The California sun cast a warm glow over my face as I sat on the wooden bench, my phone pressed against my ear. Blair's voice buzzed through the connection, animated and filled with excitement about her blossoming summer romance.
"...and then Alex did the sweetest thing," Blair gushed, recounting their latest escapade. I leaned forward, a genuine smile on my lips at her newfound happiness. The promise of a memorable summer echoes in each word Blair shares. The senior trip loomed on the horizon, coming up in five days.
"Sounds amazing, Blair," I replied. "I can't wait to hear all about it in person."
"Tell Joey I said congrats! Much love; see you when you get back home." She made a kiss noise and quickly hung up. My eyes scanned the crowd, landing on the group that was my family. I stood, walking along in my wedges, to join them. A warm sense of gratefulness was in the air.
Laughter and chatter filled the air as they exchanged stories of us kids when we were young. "Yeah and do you remember when Joey tried to learn how to flip pancakes and then threw the batter all the way on the ceiling?" My mom laughed, reminiscing on our preteen years.
Despite the joyous atmosphere, a subtle sense of melancholy lingered around Tyrone. I noticed the hint of sadness in his eyes as he stood slightly apart from the group, occasionally laughing along with everyone, only to then quiet down and scuff his feet on the sidewalk.
"Hey, everything okay?" I asked, my voice gentle. He sighed, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "Just thinking, you know? About how soon you and Wesley will be graduating too, and then you'll be gone." Tyrone wasn't one to be sentimental. Most young teenage boys thought emotions were territory not to be explored, so for him to say something, he must have been thinking about this for a while.
A sympathetic understanding passes between us as I place a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's scary. Hell, I'm scared shitless, but we're always going to be family. We'll find ways to stay connected, no matter where life takes us."
I extended my pinky finger, and he took it, a promise between the two of us. Tyrone managed a small smile, unspoken gratitude in his eyes.
"Guys, it's time to go in," Wesley called out to the two of us, my dad beckoning us to walk alongside everyone as we entered the cool auditorium. The crowd surged as hundreds swiftly searched for the best place to sit. A great view of the stage, and the ability to make sure your screams could be heard.
The scent of excitement and pride hung in the air once we gathered in a row, sitting down and watching as the ceremony was starting to begin.
Speech after speech, moment after moment, time seemed to pass by slowly. Macy kept fiddling with the program, her impatience showing. And then finally, students were being called to the stage.
Last names starting with A, then D, then J, and then I heard my mom mumbling curses under her breath.
My dad, clutching her phone like a precious artifact, fumbling with buttons as the last names quickly approached the letter M. "James, I swear I will murder you in front of everyone if you don't record this right."
"I'm trying!" With a lighthearted chuckle, I reached over and helped him find the elusive record button.
Just in time.
"Joey Miller, Bachelors!" The announcer's voice echoed through the auditorium as Joey's name rang out. All the previous arguing no longer mattered as we all rose to our feet and erupted into cheers, drawing the attention of those nearby.
Joey, sporting a proud grin, pointed up toward our seats as he walked confidently across the stage.
The room echoed with applause as we basked in the joy of Joey's achievement, capturing the memory on video.
In the midst of the celebratory chaos, my mom—overwhelmed with pride and joy—began shedding tears of happiness. "Look at our boy go!" She cried out. My dad instinctively wrapped his arm around her, offering quiet comfort as they watched Joey with nothing but happiness.
Watching the two of them, I felt a swell of emotion. A quiet hope bloomed within me. I hope Coen and I will have a love like that.
As the last notes of the graduation ceremony echoed, numerous families filed out of the auditorium, eager to reunite with their children and siblings. Outside, Macy was the first to spot him in the crowd, his cap still perched proudly on his head.
"Joey!" She yelled, taking off in her white sandals in his direction. At the sound of her voice, he turned around, catching her in his arms as she ran up to him. Without hesitation, the rest of us quickly made our way over, enveloping him in a collective hug.
"You actually are smart. I never would've guessed." Tyrone joked, earning a playful headlock from Joey. Wesley playfully pushed the two of them, offering Joey the bouquet of flowers we purchased before we came.
He lifted them to his face, taking a long sniff of the fragrant roses. "Thanks, guys. I'm so happy you all are here." Joey's eyes lit up as he spotted a friend in the crowd. Eager to share the moment, he approached, arm draping around his friend's shoulders.
"Hey, everyone, this is Mark. We met in one of my classes," Joey announced, a wide grin on his face. Mark nodded, offering a friendly greeting to all of us.
A voice calling Mark's name interrupted the introductions. His family beckoned him for a round of photos, and with a warm smile, he excused himself. However, before departing, he turned back to Joey."
"Hey, Joey, good luck with that EMT job back home. Your friends and family here are lucky to have you. Don't be a stranger!"
The words lingered in the air as Mark walked away, leaving Joey momentarily speechless. No one knows except me. Shit.
"What EMT job? Are you getting experience before med school? Smart thinking, son." Dad grinned, his hand warmly pressed onto Joey's shoulder. Mom, with a wisdom only mothers possess, instantly sensed something amiss. Maybe it was motherly instinct or her uncanny ability to read Joey's every expression, but whatever it was, she knew.
"You're not going to medical school, are you?" My mother spoke up, her voice gentle. My father stepped back, confusion etched on his face as he looked between Joey and my mom.
Hesitation lingered in Joey's response, and his eyes sought me out for support.
My dad noticed the unspoken exchange, ushering the four of us away from the bustling crowd. "Joey, what's going on?" he asked, a mix of concern and confusion in his tone.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to initiate the conversation. "Mom, Dad, there's something Joey's been reluctant to share. He's opened up to me about it, but I think he's scared."
The concern etched on my parents' faces mirrored Joey's apprehension. This was it. He couldn't hide it anymore.
Joey took a deep breath, his heart probably pounding as he prepared to share his truth with our parents. The air hung heavy with anticipation as he looked into their eyes, filled with a mixture of apprehension and determination.
"I'm not going to medical school." Mom and Dad stood, surprised but timid and unsure of how to respond. "I appreciate everything you guys have done for me but college, especially pre-med, has taken a toll on me. It destroyed my mental health, and I started feeling empty."
My mom perked up, her eyes beginning to well with tears which quickly triggered Joey to do the same. "Empty? What do you mean?"
"I mean, I was on this path because I thought it was what I wanted, what I should do. But it wasn't making me happy. It felt like I was losing myself. I felt lost and like nothing was working out for me. I felt guilty for wasting time. But once I got an EMT job, it was like a breath of fresh air. Every day was different and I felt alive again. I could go home and be with you guys again."
He took a deep breath, his fingers trembling as he waited for our parents' reply. I joined Joey, intertwining our fingers together for support. My dad stood still, his eyebrows furrowed in surprise.
"Why were you scared to tell me that?" He asked, connecting his gaze. Joey hesitated, a soft tear falling down his cheek. "I felt like I was disappointing you."
My father's shoulders dropped as he exchanged a glance with Mom. She stepped back, letting him take the reins. "Joey. You think your deciding not to be a doctor was going to disappoint me?" Joey wiped at his eye and shrugged his shoulders solemnly. "I guess. I mean, since I was young and first showed interest in medicine, you've been so excited at the idea of me being a doctor and working beside you at the hospital. And now that I've destroyed that dream I—"
"You can't take the weight of my hopes and attempt to carry them as your own, son. Would working beside you as a doctor be awesome, yes! Will seeing the ambulance pull up, and you hop out also be awesome, absolutely. You could decide to be a chef and I'd be at your restaurant every day."
Joey softly smiled as our dad stepped closer. "Have I made you feel like I'd be disappointed in you?" He asked hesitatingly. Joey quickly shook his head no. "It was more of an internal pressure. The two of you have given me this life. Without you guys, I don't know where I would be. I guess I feel like I owe you."
At the words "owe you" my dad softened. His eyes welled up in sadness. "Joey," he cupped his face in his hands and continued to speak.
"Love is not transactional. Love does not require it to be reciprocated. We love you. Not because we expected love in return. Not because we expected gratitude or subservient children. We didn't expect anything except a child who deserved to be loved. And you, kiddo, are loved. Permanently. You are intelligent. You are creative, ambitious, adventurous, gentle, and kind. You are a light through the darkness. And most importantly, you are my son. And that is all you ever have to be."