Derek didn't care how long it took how long it had been, but by the time Stiles breathing was steady, and Derek knew that he had passed out, Derek himself could breathe easy again. The thought of his mate being in pain or being so worried that he had a panic attack made Derek want to protect Stiles even greater. He didn't care if he had to live as a wolf, as long as Stiles was safe, he would do anything.
Derek felt Stiles being to stir in the mess of fur and blankets; he moved slowly looking at Stiles blinking eyes. "Wh-what happened? Did I have a panic attack?" He whispered, looking into Derek's glowing eyes.
Derek slowly nodded, trying not to scare Stiles if possible. He rested his head on Stiles lap, keeping his gaze on the younger boy. Carefully Stiles' hands moved through Derek's fur, giving both of the boys the feeling of sparks. Derek loved the feeling, and he missed it. For Stiles, it was different, he loved the feeling; he felt this way when he first found Derek. "Are you going to talk to me?" Stiles asked.
Derek shook his massive head, closing his eyes. "I don't want to scare you or make you hate me anymore." He quickly whispered. He was scared of being ultimately rejected; Stiles first reaction was already hard on him.
"Hate you? It's a little hard to hate someone I don't know. It's hard to hate someone who I have a connection too. Scared of you, maybe at first, with the visits from Laura and seeing her outside of my bedroom all of the time, it's pretty hard to be still scared." Stiles chuckled scratching between Derek's ears. Derek let out a small whine missing when Stiles used to do that. "You sure do love your ears scratched." Stiles smiled, continuing to scratch all of the places he remembers Derek loving. His ears, his stomach, right down his spine but not too close to his back hips, under his chin. Derek was in heaven with all of the scratches, and it was even better because it was his mate.
"Why does your mark move from your back to your chest?" Stiles asked, running his hand through the dark brown fur on Derek's chest.
"I don't know. It's always done that, Deaton's never been able to figure it out either. No one else's does it. Laura's stay's on her shoulder, Cora's on her right hip, Peter stays on his chest, no one knows why mine moves." Derek answered, curling around Stiles once again.
"It's sort of like how mine changed shape over time," Stiles whispered, pressing himself as far into Derek's fur as he could. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Derek asked, resting his head on Stiles' hip.
"For the way that I reacted. I could see the pain in your body language. I too freaked out I didn't even think about how bad it must have been for you. For someone, you trusted to act like you were a monster, for them to reject you. I still don't know how that feels, but I know how empty I've felt since that night." Stiles looked to Derek's eyes for just a second before turning his gaze back to Derek's fur covered chest moving his hands through it once again.
"Stiles, don't beat yourself up over it. I should have told you from day one. It was my fault. I want to fix everything, start over, only if you want to as well." Derek nuzzled Stiles face with his own making the boy look at him.
"I would like that. From the sound of everything you won't be getting rid of me anytime soon as it is." Stiles grinned, pulling his wolf into a hug. His wolf, he pack a whole pack of them now, but this one was his more than any of them.