~Continued Flashback~
November 29, Monday
Hermione didn't sleep that night. What's new? The new was that Hermione had classes this week. Yay. Hermione could survive on the weekend with little to no sleep easily. All she had to do was lay low and chill out. Now, she had to drag herself through class after class for the next five days. Double yay.
Hermione's alarm clock startled her, though there was no need to wake her up. She had been wide awake since her 3 AM breakdown. Hermione reached over and forcefully slammed the off button. Pansy groaned from across the room. Hermione sat in bed for a second before slowly getting up. Her vision blackened for a second, as if she was going to pass out, but it passed quickly. She was used to this too. She wasn't sure exactly why it happened, though it was either her lack of food or lack of sleep.
Hermione dragged herself across the room and grabbed her clothes. She threw them on and made her way to the bathroom. She quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth. She glared at herself in the mirror. It was becoming obvious that she was running on barely any sleep. Her under-eyes made her look like a raccoon. It was also obvious that she wasn't eating, as her face looked like a skeleton. Hermione sighed and tore her eyes away from herself, refusing to wallow in self-pity this early in the morning.
Hermione left the bathroom and finished getting ready with Pansy. After they both finished, they made their way to the common room. The girls had left earlier than usual, and the common room was deserted. On their way to the Great Hall, Hermione let Pansy do most of the talking, only chiming in to make Pansy think she was immersed in their conversation. Meanwhile, she let her eyes wander, trying to keep her mind blank. Hermione had figured out this was the seemingly only way to not trigger any random panic attacks. She had had quite a few in a short period of time, but she had been lucky enough so far only to have them alone.
"-mione? Hermione!" Hermione was startled out of her thoughts. Well, out of her numbness.
"What? Yes?" Hermione responded hurriedly. Pansy had stopped walking and had crossed her arms.
"Did you hear any of what I just said?" Pansy asked. Hermione looked down and smiled sheepishly.
"Uh, no," she replied. Pansy rolled her eyes and continued walking.
"Well, I was asking how things between you and Ron were," Pansy continued. Hermione froze. Her chest tightened, and she lost her breath. No. She couldn't have an attack here. Not now. She quickly snapped herself out of it, and forced herself to keep walking.
"It's fine," Hermione forced out. "He's fantastic." Hermione hated that she was lying to Pansy, and she hated that she called Ron fantastic. He was far from it. Fantastically abusive? Yes. Fantastically malicious? Abso-fucking-lutely. Pansy side-eyed Hermione.
"You sure? You know you can tell me anything, right?" Pansy asked softly. Hermione felt this cause a crack in her facade. She wanted so badly to tell Pansy everything. She wanted to cry on Pansy's shoulder, and let Pansy help her. Help her get the help Ron and her needed. But she couldn't. She scoffed.
"Why? Everything's great! Does something seem to be wrong?" Hermione smiled at Pansy. Pansy smiled back.
"I'm just concerned. You haven't been eating, and you have gotten up, like, every night for the past few nights." Hermione forced herself to stay calm. Pansy was much more observant than she thought.
"What? No. I just haven't been sleeping well, and I'm not completely sure why. And I have been eating. I don't know if you just haven't seen me or what." Hermione knew this excuse was absolute bullshit, but she couldn't think of anything else on the spot. Pansy didn't seem to buy the excuse either, but she didn't ask anymore questions. Hermione and Pansy eventually made it to the Great Hall. They were surprisingly the first eighth years there. Once they sat down, Hermione hesitantly grabbed an apple. She still had no appetite, but she needed Pansy to think she was still eating. She saw Pansy glancing at her from the corner of her eye. She slowly bit into the apple, forcing herself to swallow. She saw Pansy smile slightly and turn away. Hermione continued to nibble the apple, but refrained from anything else. She could already feel the exhaustion catching up to her. This was going to be a long week.
Author's Note
Hello! Sorry this was posted so late at night! I had some business to take care of today so I didn't have a chance to log into Watty. Anyways. thanks for understanding and I hope you like my story! Kiss Kiss!