Chapter 25
R A V E N
Tinatamad akong bumangon at nagpunta sa kusina para uminom ng gatas. Naabutan ko pa si Ate Shana na kumakain, ngunit mukhang aalis din pagkatapos. Bihis na bihis na siya gayong anong oras pa lang naman.
Pagbukas ko ng ref ay kinuha ko ang fresh milk at nagsalin sa baso.
"How's your training?"
Nalipat ang tingin ko kay Ate. Patuloy siya sa pagnguya habang nakatingin sa akin.
"Maayos naman," sagot ko. Pagod na pagod ako dahil kahapon ay kung ano-ano ang pinaggagawa namin. Hindi naman tama na ang mga members lang namin ang mag- training kaya pati kami ni Blade ay kasama sa mga nahihirapan. Wala namang problema dahil kapag nagsasanay kami ay mas nasasanay at lumalakas kami.
"Ba't pa kayo nagte-training?"
Her words sounded like an insult, honestly. Iyon ang unang dating sa akin ng mga sinabi niya. Parang sinasabi niya na "Bakit niyo pa kailangang mag-training kung matatalo lang din naman kayo?" Pero mas pinili kong hindi isipin na gano'n nga ang gusto niyang iparating. Humans and their imagination. Kung saan-saan tayo maaaring dalhin ng malawak nating imahinasyon. Minsan hindi na rin nakakatulong dahil nagiging negatibo tayo. Kagaya na lang ng naisip ko ngayon-ngayon lang.
"Real talk, Raven." She pointed her spoon to me. "Bakit pa kayo nagte-training? May ideya ba kayo sa posibleng mangyari? Lalo na kayong mga Zeran?"
I shook my head to give her an answer. Ba't ko ba naisipan ng gano'n si Ate Shana? She was so good to me and I thought of her as an older sister. Tinuturing niya rin akong nakababatang kapatid.
"Ikaw, ate, may ideya ka ba?"
Umayos siya ng upo at nilagok ang isang basong tubig. Malakas niyang ibinagsak iyon bago tumingin sa akin.
"Remember when you and Steph asked about the Power Ten?"
Tumango ako.
"Do you remember when we told you that they are the people who managed to survive from the Destruction?"
I nodded again. "Anong meron do'n?"
Her eyes began to be watery. There are tears forming and on the verge of the falling. Marahan niyang pinunasan ang mga mata niya.
"Destruction is not a simple wipe out, Raven." Unti-unting nabibiyak ang boses niya. Kaunting salita na lang ay maiiyak na siya. "Destruction means death! Destruction not of the place, but rather, destruction of our lives!"
Hanggang sa umiyak na siya ng tuluyan. Ako naman ay nagulat sa sinabi niya. Ang sinabi niya ay nakalilito. She needs to explain more. I need to know more about what will happen.
Hinatak ko ang upuan sa tapat niya at naupo. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niya para pakalmahin siya.
"Ate anong ibig mong sabihin? Pakipaliwanag, pakiusap."
Kinakabahan ako. Minsan talaga ay hindi maganda ang naidudulot ng pagkakaroon ng malawak na imahinasyon. Kung ano-ano na ang naiisip ko.
With her falling tears coming from her eyes, she looked at me. Namumula na ang ilong niya maging ang mga mata niya.
"Raven, destruction is death," pag-uulit niya.
Insensitive as I may sound but I need to ask. Siya naman ang unang nagbukas ng topic. "If you died in the last Nascent Internecine, then why are you here? Why is Ate Kate here? Why are the Lewis aside from the Power Ten alive?"
"Because that's the rule, Raven!" humihikbi niyang wika. Nabitiwan ko ang kamay niya. "Our first chance was when we were Zerans. This is our second life, Raven. And if we die in this incoming war, we will die forever. We will die in this land that no one in our real world knows. We will die in this land without idea where we are — without having the chance of saying goodbye to our family... to our loved ones!"
"No! That's not true!"
Paulit-ulit akong umiling. Naninikip na ang dibdib ko at nag-uumpisa ng magkaroon ng malaking bara sa lalamunan ko. Nahihirapan akong lumunok at lalo pang lumalala ang nararamdaman ko dahil sa mga naiisip ko.
"Raven, 'yon ang katotohanan!" Malakas niyang hinampas ang mesa. "Alam mo ba kung bakit nagte-training kaming Lewis? Alam mo ba kung bakit uhaw kami sa pagkapanalo? Dahil gusto naming mabuhay, Raven! Dahil gusto naming makabalik sa totoong mundo!"
Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya. Mas lalong bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko.
"Raven." Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at nagsalita sa kalmadong boses. "This is the world we knew as fantasy but you need to keep in mind, our feelings are real — the pain, the happiness. Use those feelings you felt in this world in order to survive and get back before we let this world be our reality."
Sa kabila ng nararamdang kalungkutan ay nakuha kong tumango.
"Raven, I joined not to be your enemy. I am your ally and always remember that." She caressed my hand and smiled. "No matter what happens, don't die, okay? Just please, don't die. Lose everything, but not your life. Do you understand?"
I pursed my lips and took a deep breath. I slowly nodded my head and give her a reassuring smile. "I don't need to lose anything when all of us can win. Sinong nakakaalam ng gagawin ng mga nakakataas? Nasa sa atin kung paano tayo makakaligtas at iyon lang ang kailangan nating gawin — ang mabuhay."
"You have no idea of what you're saying," she added. "We are all enemies. We will kill each other sooner."
Niyakap ko siya bago ako tumayo. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "None of us are enemies. We are all allies. Thank you, Ate Shana."
Nilapag ko ang kamay niya sa mesa at binigyan siya ng ngiti para mapanatag na siya. Bumalik ako sa kwarto ko upang mag-ayos. Kinuha ko ang bag ko atsaka lumabas ng kwarto. Nagtungo ako sa plaza para doon magpahatid papuntang akademya.
Habang naglalakad papuntang meeting place ay nakasalubong ko si Kiel. Matagal-tagal na rin pala buhat noong huli kaming mag-usap.
Nagpupunas siya ng kanyang noo at mukhang nagpapahinga lang sa labas.
"Kumusta?" Sinubukan kong alisin lahat ng hindi magandang bagay na nararamdaman ko kanina para lang batiin siya.
"Ays lang, babe," pilyo niyang sagot. "Ikaw?"
"Papunta pa lang ako ng gym," sagot ko. Tiningnan ko ang likod niya kung may mga kasama siya. Siguro ay sa ibang lugar sila nag-eensayo. Sabagay, may umokupa nga rin pala nitong Open Area. "Saan kayo?"
Tumingin rin siya sa likod. Naintidihan niya yata kung anong hinahanap ko. Tinuro niya ang direksyon ng gym.
"Sa gym?" taka kong wika. Amin 'yon, hindi ba?
Natawa siya. "Sa Up Burn Field, babe."
"Edi naiinitan kayo do'n?"
Nakanguso siyang tumango. Ngayon ko lang napansin na medyo nangitim na nga si Kiel.
"I'm tanned babe, but still muscular." He flexed his biceps and kissed them.
Mukhang bukod sa pangingitim ay napasukan din ng hangin ang utak ni Kiel. Masyado pa namang mahangin doon sa field. I wonder kung hindi sila nahihirapan na roon mag-ensayo lalo na kung naka-on ang gravity controller.
Nagpaalam na ako kay Kiel at naglakad na.
"Sige, babe, tutal magpapahinga pa ako."
Nakalimutan kong hindi nga pala kami sa gym ngayon. Blade reserved the Combat Hall for us. One week just for us. Dahil sa ito pa lang ang unang pagkakataon na hiniram namin ang Hall sa loob ng limang buwang training na nagdaan ay walang naging angal ang ibang grupo.
Pagkarating ko ay hindi pa kami kumpleto. May sampung minuto pa naman bago kami tuluyang mag-umpisa.
On the first week of October, we had combat trainings by pair. The one who would win from a pair would fight against the other winners hanggang sa magkaubusan. Ang usapan kasi na kung sino ang mananalo sa bawat araw ay exempted sa susunod na training. And because we had Blade, he always wins. And another because he is my partner as a leader, he can't be exempted on the next trainings. Kaya kahit nagsumikap silang lahat na manalo — dahil na rin daw sa pagpapahirap namin tuwing training — ay wala pa ring nanalo. Blade made a good reward that only the two of us would benefit.
Sa ikalawang linggo ay naging Lewises versus Zerans ang aming pagsasanay. Them being superior and well-trained than us led to our defeat. It was hard fighting against seniors when they knew better tactics on how to win.
The third week of October, we had trained by teams. It was Blade's team versus my team where both our sides were composed of Lewis and Zerans. In the end, my team won and I could never be so proud of myself. I didn't think I was able to defeat Blade's, but teamwork made it possible.
And now is the first day of the last week of October. Nangangahulugan lang na ilang araw na lang ang mayroon kami bago ang tuluyang pag-uumpisa ng gyera na wala kaming kaide-ideya kung kailan darating.
Naalala ko na naman ang sinabi ni Ate Shana. I am really grateful that she mentioned those. At least, I had an idea.
"Excuse me, but is Raven Milan in here?"
I raised my head only to find my members bowing to someone at the entrance of the Hall. With her roaring voice booming around the wide space of the place, I already know who it is.
I stood up from my seat and walked towards her. I missed her, too even though we are not friends. Yeah, we are acquaintance but not really friends and I haven't seen her for what felt like ages.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito?"
"Can I have a moment with you?"
I nodded. She started walking to the south of the campus and I followed her. I observed how her blonde hair reflected the light coming from the sun. She moved in an elegant manner and in a swift way, too. Kung nakapikit siguro ako ay hindi ko malalaman na may taong naglalakad sa harap ko dahil walang tunog na nalilikha ang mga sapatos niya na tumatama sa lupa.
Nang huminto siya ay huminto rin ako. Pagtingala ko ay nakita ko ang secret garden na madalas kong tinatambayan noong hindi pa nag-uumpisa ang Hunyo. Tinulak niya ang pinto at pumasok. Muli ko siyang sinundan at natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili kong nakatayo sa tapat ng swing. Umupo siya sa isa.
"Anong pag-uusapan natin?"
Pinagpagan ko muna ang isa pang upuan bago naupo.
"The sun is very beautiful today, isn't it?"
Tiningnan ko ang sinasabi niya at nakiramdam sa paligid. Tama siya. Iba talaga ang kagandahan na mayroon kapag ganitong oras. Ito kasi ang oras na para bang nagsasabing, "Enjoy now because you can't see me later." Everything just seems so beautiful and peaceful.
"I'm here to say goodbye."
Gulat akong napatingin sa kanya. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"
Her lips curve into a smile. "We have nothing to do here, anymore. We're done settling things."
Napakunot ako ng noo. "Hindi kayo ang mag-aasikaso ng... alam mo na?"
Umiling siya. "Our work ends here — last week of October. The Higher will take care of it."
"But, why?"
She shifted her gaze at me and her expression softened. "Because we have a life, too, Raven. We need to get back to our real, normal life. The academy has stolen months, even years of our life. I hope you understand."
"This is what Ate Shana said," I whispered to myself. "I understand."
"Again, I came here to bid my farewell, Raven. We may be not close, but I considered you as a friend. I never had friends before except the members of the Power Ten."
My heart melted because of her words. Kasasabi ko lang kanina na we are acquaintance, but there's a part of me saying that we are friends kahit pa na hindi namin sinasabi ang bagay na 'yon.
Keisly resembles my Kuya Azi. Kuya Azi might not be sweet and overprotective to me, to us, but I know he cares deep inside. Dinadaan niya lang ang pagmamahal niya sa amin sa harsh niyang pagsasalita. Isa pang pagkakahawig nila ay ang paraan nila ng pagkikipag-usap. Both of them rarely speak in Filipino, but they understand my native language. Is Keisly my Kuya Azi? I miss him so much.
"I have a favor," I stared at the sun from afar. "Can you please tell me more about Nascent Internecine?"
"Sure."
I knew she was hesitant. Magaling lang siyang magtago no'n.
"Nascent means the beginning of existence," she spoke.
I hummed to signal her that I am listening.
"Internecine means something that may affect both parties."
Naalala ko ang sinabi noon ni Master Sue. "Our teacher once said. Nascent Internecine means 'It is Beginning to Exist: The One which Causes Destruction to Both Sides.' Anong ibig sabihin no'n?"
"Nascent Internecine is a war, Raven," she uttered in a soft tone. "It is a war for all of us. For all of you and no one is an exemption. Either die or live — that's how it is."
Bumalik na naman ang mga nararamdaman ko kanina. "Bakit kailangang gano'n pa? Hindi ba pwedeng wala na lang mamatay?"
"Raven, your life is in your hands. It depends on you on how you will protect that life you have. And it depends on others, too. The Higher can't control your enthusiasm for survival. You don't need to defeat others. What you have to do is to play their game and win."
Same thoughts I said to Ate Shana.
"You'll die and have a second chance. If you miss the chance, it's the end. If you win, say hi to the academy for months then say hi to your world when you are back," pagpapatuloy niya. Ito rin ang mga sinabi ni Ate.
"What about the years we have missed?"
Keisly stood and I think that she is dismissing the topic. Pero bago pa siya umalis ay nagsalita na siya.
"This is a fantasy world that the real world has no idea this place even exists. And after all, Nascent Internecine will only stay in our memory. All that we experienced here is just a moment to remember."
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End of chapter. Any thoughts or comments?