i haven't been angry in years
not in any way people can see, not in any way i can express visually
because i have been burning up inside for so long that my bones are charred and my organs are covered in scar tissue
i want to scream, i want to so much but my lungs are aching and it is all too much
i think anxiety and anger grow from the same place in my gut, both desecrated thoughts that i don't want
no one wants anger
no one wants anxiety
i think that's why mine go hand in hand
apprehension follows my rage doggedly, never letting it out of sight
that's why i tremble and shake when i let my voice raise
no one wants anger, but i want back my well-earned wrath without the promise of water welling in my eyes
i want to get angry and i want to be LOUD
but my organic outrage is poisoned at the source and my gnashing tongue is hushed as a noose of worry tightens around my words
where are my words except here? they never left my stomach and my body grows sick of being a cage to carnage
i want to be angry without restraint
this has been in my drafts for a hot second and i want you all to know this isn't my daily thought process lol but my lovelies....female rage being shamed really is an entire concept and what pushed me to publish this was watching halsey's 'nightmare' mv and realizing the feeling of anger is valid so i highly recommend that track