People talk about 'mixed feelings' like it's an exception, but for Natalie, it's the norm. She was scared to try and scared not to. There were days she felt so drained from trying to impress Zach, she failed to put her own needs first. Her happiness, for the longest time, had been tinged with sadness for what she wanted so desperately. A want she was beginning to realise would never be obtained.
Could she live a life always caught between feelings so antagonistic to one another? It was a question Natalie asked herself as she stared at Zach, whose full attention was on his phone.
"Lift me up. I can't see!" Gray's pleading with his brother finally pulled Natalie away from her thoughts. Gray was on his toes, trying to peek over the other kids to get a look at the baby dinosaurs.
"I'm not Dad. And you're not five." Zach chided, not taking his attention away from his phone as he carried on tapping away.
"I can still ride the Triceratops. I'm 47-and-a-half inches." Gray argued.
"How about we go do something else? Something we'd all enjoy?" Natalie offered, interrupting the bickering brothers and finally drawing their attention to her, "Don't know if you noticed, Gray, but not all of us can ride the dinosaurs with you." Gray's laughter gave away Natalie subtle attempt to point at Zach and making a rounding movement in front of her belly. If it wasn't for her quick reflexes, she would have received a hand to the back of her head.
"Yeah, okay." Gray nodded in agreement, pursing his lips to hide his grin from Zach, "Wanna go on the spinning dinosaur eggs?"
"Yeah, that's not what Natalie meant," Zach's eyes zeroed in on Gray's brown fanny pack laced through the loops of his shorts, "Cover up your dork pouch."
"It's not a 'dork pouch', it's a survival kit," Gray retorted, gripping the fanny pack protectively.
"Really? Because it looks a lot like a dork pouch,"
Natalie huffed with annoyance as the boys continued to bicker. She knew way before coming on this trip that the two boys tended to argue a lot but over the past few months, the fights have become incessant. It annoyed Natalie greatly, especially because Zach was almost always the initiator. A part of her, however, understood why he was like this. No matter what she tried to do to cheer him up, there was always underlying anger because of his parents and there approaching separation.
"Because it's my wedding... No, Alec's not having a bachelor party... Because all his friends are animals."
Natalie's eyes were drawn to Claire's personal assistant. The dark-haired woman was standing a few feet away, her back turned to the small group as she argued with whoever she was speaking to on the phone. Natalie remembered when her cousin got married last year - when a soon-to-be bride is on the topic of their wedding there is no pulling them away from it.
"Hey," Natalie whispered as she turned back to the boys, one hand shaking Gray's shoulder and the other tugging Zach's sleeve. "Let's go," she nodded her head towards Zara.
"What?" Gray whispered back, his brows furrowed in confusion.
Zach's eyes widened in delight when he realised what Natalie meant. Quickly, he grabbed Natalie by the hand and pressed his other hand against his brother's back, steering them away. "Go. Run. Go!"
The three of them ran as fast as their legs would carry them, their feet pounding against the ground. Natalie felt her forehead become clammy with sweat as the blistering sun beat down on them. With a tug on her hand, Zach pulled Natalie towards one of the few shaded areas of the park, Gray close behind them.
Natalie almost dropped to the ground in exhaustion, her chest burning for air. Zach leaned against the building they stopped by, his panting almost unnoticeable compared to Natalie's. "You know, for a volleyball player, you'd think you could run for five minutes without dying," Zach teased Natalie, who had taken to lying down on the cool concrete of the ground.
Natalie peeked through her lashes to glare at Zach, "Volleyball's less running, more jumping,"
Zach hummed to himself, raising his head to face the sun, "Believe me, you don't have to tell me,"
Natalie's face crinkled in disgust as she lifted herself to her elbows, "Fucking pervert," she grumbled to herself.
Gray looked between Natalie's revolted look and Zach's pleased, almost dazed smile. "I don't get it," he admitted in confusion.
Zach laughed at his brother as he offered a hand towards Natalie to help her up, who begrudgingly took it. "You will when you're older,"
"No! No," Natalie quickly shook her head, pulling Gray towards her and almost cradling his head to her chest, "Gray is going to stay innocent and pure forever. No way am I letting him have the same dirty mind as you,"
"Oh, come on, Nat," Zach snickered. Gray looked uncomfortable in the weird hug Natalie was giving him, but too nice to push her away, "You're just as bad as I am,"
Before Natalie could retort, Gray spoke up, "I'm not sure about this. Zara's supposed to look after us," he chewed on his lip nervously as Natalie released him from her arms.
"Nope, I am," Natalie shook her head at the younger boy. "You're mom paid me to make sure you guys don't die or whatever, not Zara. She isn't even supposed to be here, Claire is." Gray still looked around nervously. "Listen, bud, if they do get angry with us... which they won't, but if they do, we'll just say we got lost in the crowd or something,"
"But that's lying,"
Natalie couldn't help the warm smile that spread across her lips, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. So pure. "Lying's okay sometimes... just let me do the talking, yeah?"
Before Gray could reply, a static voice sounded overhead. "The next T-Rex feeding will begin in 10 minutes."
"T-Rex!" Gray exclaimed, "Come on, guys! We have to go! Come on!" Gray began to bounce on his feet before sprinting towards the gates that displayed 'Tyrannosaurus Rex Kingdom'.
"Yeah, come on, Nat. We have to go!" Zach mocked, bouncing on his feet lightly.
Natalie shook her head, trying to hide the small smile that began to spread on her lips, "You're terrible," she scolded playfully, wrapping her arm around his hoodie-clad one and began pulling him after Gray.
"Parents be aware, this show may be disturbing for smaller children." A pre-recorded voice advised the crowd as Natalie, Zach and Gray pushed their way through the thick crowd to find their seats. Natalie made a note for herself to thank Claire for the VIP passes, otherwise, they would have been waiting in line for over an hour.
As soon as Zach flopped down on one of the hard, plastic chairs, Gray had bounded towards the glass dividers, pressing eagerly against it like the other kids, desperate to see the dinosaur. Natalie sat beside the eldest Mitchell, blowing out a puff of air to move her curls from her face.
She couldn't even say a word before the chiming of Zach's ringtone sang from his phone. Zach stared down at the device with hesitation. "You didn't ring your mom when we landed?" Natalie's guess was correct as Zach nodded his head. "Ooo, you're in trouble." she sang with a smirk.
"Shut up, Nat," Natalie giggled as Zach answered his phone, keeping his earphones in so he could hear his mother over the loud murmur of the crowd.
"Hey, Mom," Zach answered.
Before he could react, Natalie had already pinched one of his earphones and stuffed it into her ear. "Hi, Mrs Mitchell,"
"Hi, Natty," Mrs Mitchell greeted cheerfully before addressing her son in a sterner tone, "Zach, you were supposed to call me when you landed."
"Sorry, Mrs Mitchell, that was my fault," Natalie quickly interrupted, a lie quickly forming on her lips, "My phone ran out so Zach leant me his so I could take some pictures,"
The two teens were tense as they waited for Mrs Mitchell's reply. What was only a second, felt like an eternity passed before Mrs Mitchell's reply came through the earphones. "Oh, well, that's alright then. Just, Nat, you make sure he calls me every day, okay? I don't want to be worrying about them,"
"No problem, Mrs Mitchell," Natalie grinned in achievement, shooting Zach a wink as he mouthed a 'thank you' to her.
"Are you having fun?" Mrs Mitchell asked, her stern tone gone.
"Yeah, I guess." Zach shrugged.
"We're having a great time, Mrs Mitchell." Natalie beamed at the phone, "We're about to see the T-Rex. Thank God Claire gave us passes, otherwise, we would've had to wait in line for ages."
"Wait," Mrs Mitchell stooped Natalie, "Claire's not with you?"
Natalie's eyes shot up to Zach, unsure what she's supposed to say. Finally, she managed to open her mouth wide enough to let out a strangled, "Urrmmm..."