My foot taps nervously on the floor. Staying indoors means I'm simmering with frustration which is threatening to boil over at any moment. However, going outside to undertake fieldwork or collect water is hardly going to get rid of the sensation of dread crawling across my skin. It's also not worth the risk if it will end in Klein's people trying to attack this building. I have to stay hidden for this plan to work; for Klein to think I've left here in an attempt to find Zach.
Yawning for the millionth time, I glance out the window at the sun which has been creeping across the sky. The day is dragging and I'm exhausted. I haven't been back to sleep and the events of the last few days are catching up on me.
Although, I already know even if I tried I wouldn't be able to sleep. Zach has made sure of that.
'You should take a nap. You look tired,' Haiden says, giving me a concerned look.
'I'm fine.' I squirm in the seat next to Haiden's bed, unable to keep still. I'd be pacing if she let me; she said it makes her nervous.
Haiden's been moved to a room next to Ethel and Roman's office. Every time I hear their door open, I wait in anticipation for them to come in here and tell me there's been some news, any news would do. Ethel has been in contact with Zach's mum who, unfortunately, didn't reveal her plans.
'The community, Klein's one, is it far?' I ask.
'Yeah, it's over twenty hours of constant cycling, double that if you walk.' Haiden attempts to sit up and winces. I grab her arm and adjust the pillows behind her to give her more support. The speed at which I touched her without hesitating takes me by surprise. Haiden smiles. 'Thanks. You know they have trucks so it takes them a quarter of the time to travel compared to a bicycle.'
'I know they have trucks.' I sit back in the chair and bite my fingernails.
'Don't do anything stupid, Kit. Roman will figure something out. He always does,' Haiden sighs.
Roman also lies. Like he's lying about where you were born and who your parents are.
'Anyway, I need to tell you some sad news. Me and Roman aren't going to happen. He told me; him and Ethel are together. Can you believe it? I didn't see that coming. I don't know how though. I mean, I know they spend a lot of time together so it's kind of inevitable but I still don't see it. I guess she's older, more mature, guys love that don't they? Mature and experienced.'
Roman also loves being a massive coward and a liar too. 'I'm sorry,' I say.
'At least, I'm getting the full teenage experience. Unrequited love... check, heartbroken...check. Now, all I need is some rebound fling. Maybe, I'll get drunk at a party, dance all sexy and pick up a random guy to pop my cherry, then I'll screw him until the cows come home.'
'I don't have a clue what half of that means but if it will make you feel better, go ahead,' I shrug.
'You're a bad friend, Kit. You're meant to tell me I'm strong and amazing, and that I don't need a guy to make me feel better.'
'You are strong and amazing, and you don't need a guy to make you feel better, but I think you know that already.' I force a smile and tuck my legs into my chest.
'Ok, I lied, you're the greatest friend ever.' Haiden beams.
The door opens, and I jump to standing. My heart beats erratically and my mind conjures up a million possibilities of what I'm going to be told has happened, some fill me with dread and others fill me with hope. Staring expectantly at Roman as he walks in, he shakes his head and I know he's not here to give me any new developments; Zach is still missing.
'Has Fara or Carlos come and checked on you today, Haiden?' Roman asks approaching the bed as I slump back into the seat.
'Hello to you too. Yes, they've checked me several times. Fara said I don't have to stay in this room. I was thinking maybe I could eat in the dining hall this evening-'
'No. Moving you risks the wound reopening and the hallways are too busy. Someone could accidentally jostle you causing your wound to reopen and then you'll get an infection.' Roman shakes his head and crosses his arms in front of his chest.
'The hallways are not busy, Roman. There's only thirty-something people in this building. It's not the sidewalk of a metropolis city,' Haiden huffs.
'What do you know about the sidewalks of a metropolis city?' Roman grins and sits on the edge of her bed.
'Kit read me a book which described one.' Haiden smiles.
'You've been reading her books?' Roman looks at me with a look of gratitude.
'It's her way of distracting me.' I shrug, staring at my feet.
Haiden laughs. 'More like distracting me. I'm bored in here but Kit has been keeping me entertained.'
'She made me read the first chapter of over seventeen books until she found one she liked,' I say flatly.
'What one did you go for in the end?' Roman asks.
I cringe and Haiden laughs loudly. 'It's a romantic story. Super explicit on the sex scenes. You should see Kit's face. It's the only reason I choose it. She was so uncomfortable but she still read it out loud. Best friend ever.'
'Haiden!' I huff as my face heats up.
'Come on, it was quite fun, and your reaction just adds to the funness!' Haiden grins at me. I can't be mad at her happiness. I would do anything to cheer her up, it's the least I can do after what she went through due to me.
'If you say so. I'm going to take some of these books back.' I grab the stack of books from the floor, give Haiden and Roman a brief nod and disappear out the room.
Walking along the hallway, I pass a few people who frown at me. Word must have got around that I'm responsible for Klein and his people being here and for the extra patrol and Faith's murder.
Considering this place is smaller than where I grew up, gossip doesn't travel as fast here as it did in the Naturalist settlement.
In the empty library, I place the books on the shelves then pull out a bag which is tucked under the sofa. Rechecking the contents of my bag, I exhale with relief that no one has discovered it. All the items I've been collecting throughout the day are still present. Inside are a few jars which are too heavy but necessary, a couple of items of clothes, a knife and a bat. The bag is full and heavy. I'm trying not to think about how I'm going to find Klein's community or how I'm going to carry all this stuff.
Checking no one is watching through the window or door, I push the bag back under the sofa and inhale deeply. I have a plan.
Back in Haiden's room, I find Roman has been replaced by Bo. Sitting on the edge of Haiden's bed, Bo nods at me then quickly averts his eyes. We haven't spoken since he stormed off last night. Bo thinks I'm pathetic to go after Zach after what he did. Maybe, I am.
My determination to help Zach hasn't faded.
'I'll come back later.' I start to retreat out of the room.
'No, it's fine. I'll go.' Bo says standing up.
'What is going on between you guys?' Haiden asks, her eyes flicking between the two of us. 'You're acting like you slept with each other then realised it was a mistake, and now can't get over the uncomfortableness of crossing a boundary which should have never been crossed. Except, I'm pretty sure you didn't cross any of those boundaries because Kit's still pining after Zach and Bo isn't into girls. Unless, you did what I want to do and had a fling.'
'What?' I asked slightly dazed at Haiden's overload of words.
Haiden narrows her eyes. 'Did you two get it together? Hook up? Do the -'
'No,' Me and Bo say forcefully and simultaneously.
'It's not like that.' I shake my head vigorously. Am I being rude? I look at Bo. 'What I mean to say is you're really nice Bo but...'
'It's fine, I want us to be friends and nothing more,' Bo says flatly.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. 'Me too.'
'I didn't mean to come off harsh earlier. I just think Zach's an idiot and you deserve better,' Bo says.
Ok, tell me what you really think. Oh, you did. I shrug. 'You're allowed an opinion.'
'Great, now you've sorted that out, can you both start acting normally,' Haiden says. 'So, Bo here told me you thrashed Cas at poker. Why did you not tell me? You have to teach me to be better. I would love to see her face if I won. Cas is always organising games of poker.'
'She must really like to see people naked,' I say walking closer to Bo and Haiden.
Haiden chuckles. 'Not always strip, often we play for duties.'
'Duties?' I frown.
'We play with tokens and the person to win the most tokens gets to swap a duty of their choice with someone else. Cas always swaps late patrol,' Haiden says.
'Does she always win?'
'No, but she'll try her hardest.' Bo smiles.
'Kit, you're going to teach me so I can win and swap my duties, not that I have any at the moment but for when I do. Then, I'll play and surprise everyone with my amazing skills. Tomorrow we'll start the lessons. I'd say now, but I'm tired; my brain is barely functioning.'
I force a smile. I already know I won't be here tomorrow. I'm leaving tonight. 'Get some rest, Haiden, it's late.'
'I know, but I hate missing out,' Haiden responds.
'Everyone's heading to bed so you're not missing out on anything,' Bo says as the two of us walk to the door. I glance out the window, a few more hours and I'll have left to find Zach. The thought of going beyond the fence doesn't scare me, I'm more worried I won't find Zach in time. I can't let Klein infect him with Virulence. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Zach died because of me.
'Ok.' Haiden nods. 'Kit.'
'Yeah?' I stop in the doorway and turn around to face Haiden.
Haiden angles her head to look at me. 'Take care of Roman.'
I frown, confused at her request. 'You're going to be fine, Haiden-'
'I know I'm going to be fine,' Haidens interrupts. 'Roman's important to me, and I just want to know you'll look out for him, that you'll always have his back, so can you promise to take care of him for me, please?'
'Of course,' I say, swallowing the guilt of knowing full well I'm not going to be around.
I can't take care of him. I'm will be gone by tomorrow morning.
In the hallway Bo looks at me. 'You heading to bed too?'
'I'm going to talk to Ethel first.'
Bo rubs his jaw. 'I'll see you in the morning.'
'Have a goodnight.' I nod, taking the few steps to neighbouring door. I knock and wait for Ethel's voice tells me to enter.
Opening the door, I find Ethel standing at the window which looks out onto a darkening sky. My gaze drifts over the two folded up beds. Ethel and Roman sleep in here. Maybe, Roman wasn't lying when he told Haiden him and Ethel are a couple. None of their interactions have been romantic or affectionate however that doesn't reflect them being in a relationship. They may only show their affection in private.
Ethel doesn't look at me. 'How can I help you, Kit?'
'Has Klein left?' I look around the office until my eyes briefly settle on a gun laying on the desk before continuing to search the space for something useful; there are no maps, nothing which looks useful.
'I don't know.' Ethel frowns. 'Their trucks haven't been seen in a few hours but that doesn't mean they're not around. I'm hoping Doll will return soon. She'll be able to find out.'
'How?'
'She was Klein's best tracker. She knows how they work and how to find them. Until she finds out what's happening, you need to stay out of sight.'
'Ok.'
Ethel spins around and looks at me suspiciously. 'I was expecting an argument.'
'I'm too tired to argue.' I shuffle on the spot.
Ethel arches an eyebrow. I'm not sure she believes me. 'What's on your mind, Kit?'
'Are there over survivors or other communities you know about?'
'There were survivors. Klein and his trackers go in search of them and convince them to come back with him. I'm not sure if he's found any more since I left. Doll continued tracking people even after she left Klein's community; she'd bring them back here. She hasn't found anyone in years. But the world is a big place so who knows how many people are out there looking for somewhere to settle.'
'How did Doll find this place?'
She frowns. 'What do you mean?'
'Roman left before you and I know he came back for you. But how did Doll manage to come across the exact place you two settled at? How did all three of end up rejoining?'
Ethel walks over to her desk and slumps in the chair. 'Roman escaped with Haiden, and Doll found him. She planned on returning them to Klein until Roman told her what was going on.'
'Did Klein not ...'
'Rape Doll?' Ethel finishes my sentence. She shakes her head. 'No, Doll didn't know what he had been doing, what he'd been allowing some of the other men to do. When she found out she was so angry, she ensured the other trackers never found Roman and Haiden. She was actually the one who found this place.'
'Haiden never told me Doll and Roman set this place up together.'
'They didn't. Doll didn't stop being one of Klein's trackers for a long time after finding out what he was doing. She continued to be his tracker, but if she ever found anyone she'd direct them away from Klein and towards us. She found this building; showed Roman and the others here. Everyone believes Roman and the people he met found it when in fact, it was Doll.'
'When did you join here?'
'Around four years after Roman left with Haiden, which was about two years after he found this place.'
'Why did you stay so long with Klein?' I ask in disbelief.
'It may be hard to believe, but parts of my day were enjoyable even though in the back of my mind I would be constantly dreading what he and his friends would do to me.' Ethel shuffles and looks back out the window. 'I always thought it was only me they did it too; I found out later they did it to several women and girls.' Ethel clears his throat and turns back to face me. 'You may think only the weak or the stupid can end up choosing to continue to live like that but it's not that simple. I was too scared to leave. I was scared of what Klein would do but I was also scared of losing what I knew. I thought I was alone and no one else would understand, or that they would blame me. Even though I hated what he did and what his friends did, my entire life was there. They were my family. I had good friends in the village who I laughed and had fun with. I believed Klein loved me, and maybe he did in his own twisted way, but it wasn't good love. It wasn't love that you value and hold onto because you never want it to end. I held onto it because I was scared if I didn't he'd reject me and I'd have nothing; I'd be nothing. Doll wanted me to tell people what he was doing but I couldn't do that. Doll eventually managed to get another woman to come forward but everyone supported Klein, said he was a great man and that he'd never acted inappropriately around them. They didn't believe her which immediately meant anyone else wanting to come forward decided to stay silent including me.' Ethel bites her lip. 'I allowed him to continue doing whatever he wanted.'
'But if people didn't want to believe, what could you have done?'
'I found footage. He'd recorded some of the things he did. It's how I found out there were others. I was included on the footage and instead of showing it, I destroyed it because I didn't want anyone to see it.' Ethel drags her hand down her face. 'Doll was made to leave in the end because she encouraged the woman to speak up. The woman who came forward ended up staying there. Roman had already visited me several times by then, trying to convince me to leave but I'd always refused. On his last visit, he'd left me instructions on how to get here and told me he wasn't going to return, that there's only so much he can do but part of the drive has to come from me.' Ethel twists her hands in her lap. 'A year later, I convinced Klein to let me leave.'
'Have you been back?'
'No, but I made a copy of the instructions Roman gave me and left them with several women before I went. A few people left. Klein eventually found the map which is how he found us and why I had to make the agreement with him. Copies still exist, it's how Faith and Raz found us.' Ethel opens a drawer to the desk, pulls out a piece of paper and slides it across the desk. I pick up the creased soft piece of paper. It has lines of writing on, there's no map just instructions highlighting key points, descriptions of buildings and roads, signs to look out for that hold the names of cities which no longer contain any people.
'Keep it,' Ethel says.
I look up in confusion.
'I'm not stupid, I know what you plan on doing.' Ethel retrieves a gun and a small box of bullets and slides them across the table. 'I'd rather you have a chance than no chance.'
'Thank you,' I say, taking the piece of paper, gun and bullets.
'Be careful, Kit. If Klein captures you, he won't let you go, not until he's used your body beyond the point of repair and destroyed any value you hold in yourself. He likes to break people while making you think you are at fault.' Ethel stands and returns to her position by the window.
I leave the room silently clinging onto the idea I have a chance, however small it may be.
Author's note
What do you think? Too dark?
Do you think Kit will free Zach? Xx