COLBY'S POV
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p a g e s: 11
"and my friend said "I know you love her, but it's over, mate it doesn't matter, put the phone away It's never easy to walk away, let her go It'll be alright" so I still look back at all the messages you'd sent and I know it wasn't right, but it was fucking with my head and everything deleted like the past, it was gone and when I touched your face, I could tell you're moving on but it's not the fact that you kissed him yesterday"
It's been a few months since my breakup with her. She still haunts my dreams. I see her everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. It sucks, she posted a video explaining our breakup and she didn't leave anything out. That what hurts me the most. She told how she was falling for Brennen and me at the same time but didn't know it. "I love them both so much, I just didn't notice until England" her eyes were red from crying. I don't blame her for her hurting, I said some shit I didn't mean. Her video was for closure for her to vent. The comments were awful people called her a whore, a cunt and some creative names. I also made a video about the situation. "Please, don't hate Ariana Cameron anymore I'll always love her, she's my soul mate" I said in my video. "I don't hate her; I did when it happen but now I don't we need time to ourselves to find ourselves without each other and that's fine. I wish her well, Ariana if you see this, I know you will, I don't hate you I love you with all my heart I hope one day we'll find each other" I said.
X
I was with my friends having a good time when I saw a girl with long straight brown hair and tan skin. She was beautiful. "Colby" Jake nudged me. "What?" I said still looking at her. Jake followed my eyes to the girl. "That's Aurora, she's one of Tara's friends" he tells me. "She's gorgeous" I tell her. "You look like a creep just looking at her like that" Aaron notices me staring. I roll my eyes "sorry man" I say taking a swig of beer. I was back to my old ways, being depressed, smoking again drinking the whole nine yards. Ariana fucking Cameron was my sanity and I don't have that anymore. "Colby, I can talk to her" Kat tells me. Kat and Devyn followed Ariana back after the video but they haven't spoken since she left. "That's okay" I say looking at my phone. It was still Ariana from England. I'm torturing myself with that picture. She looked so happy looking at me. fuck, I miss her. I changed my background then and there. I need to forget her, temporarily.
I felt eyes on me I looked up to see Aurora looking at me. Her friends whispered something to her but shook her head. "Hey, I'm going to get another one anyone want another?" I asked. "We're good" Elton says. I nod grabbing my empty beer bottle and walked to the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender asked. "Another one, please" I shake the bottle. He nods. "Hey, you're friends with Jake, right?" Aurora asked. Her voice was soft yet seductive. "Yeah, you?" I asked. "Yeah, I think we bumped into each other at a party or two" she smiled. It wasn't like Ariana's smile though however; it wasn't bright and understanding and broken like hers. Aurora's was like an actor's, forced and pained. "We might've" I say taking the beer. "I heard you're hosting another party" Aurora says. "That's right, it'll be great" I say kneeling on the bar counter. "Will you be there?" she asked flipping her hair to one side. "Yeah, yeah I will I'm Colby by the way" I say. "I know" she bit her lip. I rubbed the back of my neck.
I went back to the crew. "How'd it go?" Jake asked. "Awkward as fuck" I say. "Not for long right? You need to get over her" Devyn says. "It's going to take time for me to get over her" I say taking a drink. "She literally had sex with Brennen" Kat added. "Guys, I'm not mad at her for it" I say. "I would" Corey stated. "Why? Guys come on she's still our best friend we are just taking a break from each other" I defended her. "Still, bro I think it's time I hate seeing you like this" Corey says. I roll my eyes. "Can we not talk about her?" I say. "Yeah man, let's talk about the party" he agrees. Just like that, we talk about what we are doing for a party even though we aren't in the Trap House anymore.
It was going on two am and I'm drunk, so drunk. I got an uber and went home. I texted Ariana. Begging her to take to take me back and I miss her I'm probably going to regret this in the morning but I can't help it. I still love her. The uber drops me off at my place I thank the driver. I stumble in my room and fall asleep dreaming that Ariana is still here with me. My arms wrapped around her waist. Her hair sprawled on my face. Her wearing my shirt in the morning with a mug of coffee in her hands. Her lips on mine like tastes like coffee and peanut butter from her toast. I miss her so much; I fucking miss her.
X
In the morning, my head is pounding. Yep, I definitely had too much to drink. I groan grabbing my phone to check the time. It was going on 12 pm and I had messages from Ariana. I read them and I felt embarrassed. Goddamn it, why did I have to message her while drunk? I hate that I do that.
Me: Ari, I miz yuh.
Ariana: Colby, I thought... wait, are you drunk?
Me: Noooo ha-ha.
Ariana: Cole, I'm not starting this if your drunk, you say things you don't mean and you get vulnerable and I feel bad. I know how this goes.
Me: I don't get vulnerableeeee.
Ariana: Yes, you do we need space Colby, it's good for us I miss you so much but we need it to discover ourselves without each other.
Me: We can discover ourselves togetherrrr, come on bbyyy...
Ariana: Goodbye, Colby.
That made my heart hurt. I know she means it. It's not goodbye forever it's just temporary. I sighed tossing my phone on the bed. I look at the empty space which was made. Ariana made it before she left me. I haven't changed it since. I shower and change then entering the kitchen to cook something or burn something. Ariana always cooked; the kitchen always smelled like something. I loved it. I love her cooking. It's difficult cooking by yourself when you're so dependent on that one person. The smoke alarm goes off three times when I attempt to make eggs. I decide to eat cereal and give up on cooking.
I needed to make a video and I had no idea on what to film. I asked my fans on twitter to give me some ideas. (go follow Colby on twitter & Instagram and all the other socials you peasants @colbybrock). I looked through the comments. Most of them involve Ariana. I sighed but something caught my eye. Someone said to take a fifth-grade test with Sam. I laughed and send it to Sam. He wanted to do it. I asked our friend Kevin to ask if he wants to be in it. He accepted I told him to look up a fifth-grader test. This'll be fun.
X
After the video, I spent all day editing at the kitchen table when my phone rings. "Hello?" I asked. "Hey, is this Colby?" a voice asked. "Yes, who is this?" I asked. "Aurora, from the bar?" she says. "Ah right, what's up? How'd you get my number?" I asked. "Tara gave it to me; I was wondering if you want to get something to eat?" Aurora asked. I look at the time, it was going on five. "Yeah sounds good" I replied. "Cool, I'll see you at Cheesecake Factory shortly" Aurora says. "Yeah, yeah sure" I say. Aurora hangs up and I get up to change into something more presentable. Ariana wants me to discover myself and I'm doing just that. No one will ever compete with her; she owns my heart and I want to keep it that way.
I decided on a black collared shirt and black non ripped jeans. I unbuttoned the two first buttons to give it flare. I put on some necklaces and my signature rings. I shake my hair to give it a messy feel. I nod and went on my way to Cheesecake Factory. I never get nervous for dates but this feels different. I don't know why but it does. I look through the glove box for my pack of cigarettes and lighter. It feels good to smoke again, I quit when I was with Ariana. When she left me, I bought two packs and two lighters I never been so happy to do anything in my life.
X
I park in the Cheesecake Factory's parking lot. I chewed some gum to get rid of the smoke on my breath. "You got this, Colby" I told myself as I entered the restaurant. "How many?" the hostess asked. "I'm looking for somebody" I told her. "Go right ahead" she nudged her head. "Thanks" I say finding Aurora. I found her sitting in a booth. She was wearing a black tank top with a flannel around her waist she wore black skinny jeans too. "Aurora?" I asked. She turns around and smiled. "Hey Colby" her eyes went up and down. "Hey" I say scooting in the booth. "Thanks for coming on such short notice" she says. "Sure, I want to get to know you more that I'm not so drunk" I joked. "Hey, I was drunk too when we first met" she confessed. "I guess we're not saints" I say. "I guess not" Aurora laughed.
Aurora was different than I expected. She's funny as all hell. She cracks jokes without even meaning too. She tells me that she's into ghosts and shit like Sam and I. I tell her that we do this shit for a living on YouTube. Aurora says that she's starting into the paranormal side of YouTube. "It's risky business" I say sipping my coke. "Yeah, I almost got caught at times" she says twirling her food. "Us too, it's scary" I confessed. "Very" she agreed. We talk for a while after dinner getting to know each other more and more. I feel like a true connection with her, not like Ariana. It's weird, so weird but I kind of like it.
X
It was the day of the huge party and I was on liquor patrol. Aurora and I have been talking for a few days now and it's great, really, really great. It's a distraction from my thoughts. I'm not using Aurora for anything but then again you can say I am. She doesn't need to know that though. The boys are off doing something for the party. This is going to be a great party; it's going to be HUGE. Huger than the last party of The Trap House. It's going to be great.
X
The boys and I are setting up the party while the girls are getting ready in the bathroom. "So, you and Aurora are getting along good" Jake says with a smirk. "Yeah, I guess so" I say filling up the cups with the cheep liquor. "It's a nice change" Corey says. "Guys, come on" I groan. "Sorry, sorry" Corey says. "No more Ariana talk ok?" I say. "No more Ari talk" the boys agreed. "Thanks" I say finishing the last cup. The girls walked out of the bathroom wearing the same thing; a red sparkly short skirt, a white short sleeve shirt and a leather jacket. Their hair was up in an Ariana Grande pony tail with some strands hanging out. In their ears they wore huge silver earrings. "Wow" I say looking at her. "Wow, yourself Colby" she smirked wrapping her arms around my neck. My hands on her waist pulling her close to me and I kiss her. We've been dating for a few days now but it feels like a life time. "Not in front of our friends, Colby" Aurora smiled. "Sorry, sorry" I laughed. "You two are cute together" Tara says as Jake puts his arm around her waist. "Thanks" I blush. "Aww, baby Colby is blushing!" Aurora pinched my cheek which made my face redder. "Aww" Devyn joked. "You guys" I comb my hair with my fingers. "Sorry, boo" Aurora kissed me again.
The party was banging, there was so many people here coming in and out. Aurora was hanging out with the girls whilst I talk to the guests. My mind wandered to Ariana. So much shit happen then, we were just friends but then I realized how much I cared about Ariana. I know how much I love her. I realized how much I needed her in my life. She was my rock. She really got me as a person. "Babe?" Aurora waved her hand in front of my face. "Huh?" I shake my head. "I said, do you want another one?" she asked wrapping her arms around my neck. "I could have another" I smirked at her. "Good, I need another one too" she grabbed behind me to grab another solo cup and hands it to me. "Thanks" I say taking a sip. "No problem" Aurora smiled licking the liquor off my lips. My face heats up. "Let's get out of here" I say. "Lets" Aurora nods eagerly. I need a distraction and she is my distraction until Ari and I get back together.
X
We lay on Aurora's mattress. I play with her hair as she traces my Kingdom Heart tattoo like Ari did when we were done having sex. "I could get use to this" she tells me. "Yeah?" I asked. "Yeah, what about you?" she looked at me. "I could too" I lied. "Good" she giggled softly. My phone is blowing up with messages from my friends asking where the fuck I am. They all know where I am. I shouldn't be using Aurora to forget about Ari. No one is going to be Ariana. Maybe l like Aurora because she looks like her but she doesn't fuck like Ariana. I sigh rubbing her back with my knuckles. "We should go back; our friends are blowing up my phone" I say. "Me too" Aurora says getting off my chest. I hum looking at her naked body. She looks at me. "Enjoying the show, Colby?" she joked. "Sorry, Aurora but I am" I say wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her down. She laughs as I tackle her with kisses.
We both change and headed back to my apartment. My phone rang. "Can you answer it?" I asked. "Yeah" she answers. "Hello, Baby Colby's phone, Aurora Lovett speaking how can I help you?" she gave her best sectary voice. "Aurora? It's Tara" I heard Tara's voice. "Oh, hey what's up?" she asked. "Where are you?" she asked. Aurora looks at me and I smirk at her. "I was out having the night of my life, why?" Aurora asked. "Just wondering" Tara says. "We're right around the corner, T" I say. "Cool, we'll be here holding down the fort" she joked. "Don't break anything please" I begged. "Don't worry, we are yelling at people who touch your shit" Tara tells me. "Thanks" I say. "No problem" Tara hangs up.
X
When we get back there was cop cars surrounding the complex. "Party's been busted" Aurora tells me like I didn't already know that. "Shit" I groan. "Hey, it's okay" she touches my arm. "Yeah, you may be right" I say parking the car. We get out and go to my apartment. "What happen?" I asked Sam. "Cops busted us" he shrugs. "Damn, how trashed is the place?" I asked afraid to ask. "Not that trashed, tomorrow I'll help you clean" Sam says wrapping his arm around Kat. "Thanks, have a nice night bro" I tell him. "You too" Sam pats me on the back. Kat winks at me and Aurora. I roll my eyes at her. "You staying here?" I asked walking in my apartment which was semi trashed. "If that's okay with you" she says. "Yeah, you can wear my shirt if you want" I say with a shrug even though that was always Ariana's thing. "Why would I do that?" she asked taking out her pony tail. "I thought all girls wore their boyfriends' shirts?" I asked. "You thought wrong" Aurora laughs as I take off my shirt. "Well, I don't have any girl shit here so" I tell her. "Because of Ariana?" she asked taking off her jacket and bra. I tense. "Yes, I know about her, Colby we were friends in Chicago" she shrugs. "Oh" I simply said.
When I wake up Aurora wasn't in bed. The side was made just like Ari. "We were friends back in Chicago" Aurora's voice rang through my head. "Shit" I groan flipping on my stomach. Of course, Aurora and Ariana were friends! How come I didn't notice it before? They act the same way minus the shirt thing. They are practically sisters. Why do I have such shit relationship history? Fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck. I get up and do my morning routine. I feel so groggy from the party. I drank way too much. I need to juice cleanse or some shit. I eat some burnt toast and some coffee that I fucked up somehow. I comb my fingers through my wet hair and hovered the call button to Ari. "Don't be a pussy, Colby" I tell myself and forced my finger to call her. "Hey, a little birdy told me you called! Leave the birdy your name and number and I'll call you right back!" Ari's voice filled my ear and tingles my brain. "Hey, Ari it's Colby um I want to talk to you about something... I know you said we need to figure ourselves out but it's kind of important" I say hanging up.