•Cassidy
When I finally rolled out of bed on Friday afternoon I did not feel any older. I did not look any older. I felt the same as yesterday and I looked the same as yesterday. The only tiny detail that was altered in my life was that I could now proudly say that I was nineteen, rather than murmuring that I was almost nineteen, or declaring that I was eighteen but not for long. Now it was officially my birthday, and it was horridly lame.
My phone was full of messages from all sorts of people, some of which I didn't even have the numbers saved for. I quickly thanked everyone, along with shooting out a tweet to my followers that expressed my gratitude for all of the birthday wishes.
I traveled into the bathroom, ridding myself of my pajamas, leaving behind a pool of clothing on the tiled floors. I turned the shower knob and waited a few seconds for it to get warm before swiftly stepping inside, feeling the hot water beat down on me like a waterfall that would cleanse all of the impurities off of my exhausted body.
With a heavy sigh, I squatted down and took a seat in a curled up ball position, hugging my knees against my chest. The stream of water continuously pouring on the top of my head made me feel as if I was participating in a dreary music video.
I should have been in a better mood. It was the exiting of my mother's vagina day, after all. But it felt incredibly odd for me to be celebrating another year of life when I was still stuck mourning over the death of Max.
A sweet scent of fruit filled my nostrils as I raised to my feet, washing my body with the lovely smelling shower gel. I shampooed and conditioned accordingly as well, before leaving the shower and smothering my body with a plush towel.
On the kitchen counter there was a note from Calum, claiming that he had to go to the store and would be back soon. I instantly frowned. I had seen him last night, but that wasn't enough for me. I had suddenly been craving spending more time with him than ever before, and when Calum wasn't lounging somewhere in our house I grew lonesome. I'm sure he must be sick of me and my annoying, emotional behavior by now, so I don't blame him for leaving for a bit, but I really wish he was here.
Luke had invited me to come over before we went to dinner, so I figured I should get ready for that. I applied my usual make-up and slipped into a casual dress, dreading the fact that I even had to look nice when all I wanted to do was sleep some more.
I did want to see Luke since I have missed him, but every since Max died I have been distant from him and there was slight tension between us, so I was kind of worried for what tonight would bestow. A tiny part of me was kind of upset that he hadn't made any effort to come visit me when all I really needed was for someone to kiss me and tell me that it was going to be okay. I guess Calum did the second one, which I was grateful for, but then again that only made me feel even more guilty for ditching Luke the other day.
The drive to their house was shorter than I expected, but maybe it was because I was too consumed with my thoughts. Soon enough I was knocking at their front door that was eventually opened up by Michael.
He smiled brightly at me, the smile overtaking his face and reaching up to his vividly colored hair. "Hi Cassidy! Happy birthday! It is your birthday, right?"
I allowed myself to giggle. "Yes, Michael. Thank you."
He awkwardly pulled me in for an extremely quick hug. Michael's hand immediately began to scratch the back of his neck after, as if he felt jittery or uncomfortable with my presence. I couldn't blame him for that though; we still haven't made the switch from acquaintances to friends just yet. "Uh, you, um, you can come in! Yeah, come in!"
"Okay," I agreed, laughing nervously. "So, do you know where Luke is?"
Michael scrunched his nose as he traced his brain for any recollection of Luke. "Well I just got home like two minutes ago so I don't even know if he's here, to be honest. You can check his room though! It's upstairs and like the first door on your left."
"Alright, thanks Michael," I said politely, hesitantly strolling up the staircase.
The first door on the left was black with a brushed-silver handle, and I took a deep exhale before knocking on it. There was no response, so I knocked again. Still nothing. After one more unrequited knock I carefully pushed the door open to see if Luke even was in his house yet or if his room was just completely barren.
When the door slowly crept open, I gasped at the sight in front of me. If anything I expected to see Luke jacking off or listening to music. But I didn't expect Luke's mouth to be pressed to another girl's, kissing her passionately.
"Cass!" Luke exclaimed as he broke apart from the unknown girl, his eyes widening as mine narrowed. "What are you doing here?"
"It's my birthday! We were supposed to go to dinner in like an hour!" I screamed, suddenly becoming very angry.
He frowned. "Oh right. Dammit, I'm sorry, Cass. I completely forgot."
I gestured towards the mysterious girl who was the source of my anger, not because he forgot my birthday. Luke glanced over at her and then light bulbs seemed to flicker off in his head. "Oh! This is Hannah! Hannah, this is Cassidy."
"I'm a big fan of your movies," Hannah said with a smile. She seemed very sweet and was beautiful, but I couldn't help but grow incredibly irritated at the situation unfolding.
"Thanks."
"I'm sorry about Max too," Luke stated, sending me a sympathetic look. "Cal said he was a great dog. I'm very sorry."
"Jesus Christ, Luke!" I screeched, throwing my hands up in the air. "Are we not going to discuss what I just walked in on?"
He furred his eyebrows together in confusion. "What? Did you think you and I were exclusive?"
"No," I lied, suddenly feeling my cheeks grow hot as the embarrassment kicked in. Of course I liked another guy more than he liked me. Of course I jumped to conclusions to quickly without seeing if he felt the exact same way as me. Of course I felt guilty for even hugging Calum when he didn't feel an ounce of guilt kissing other girls. "Actually, yeah I did. But whatever. Screw you, Luke."
I turned on my heel to make a rapid dash for the exit, but Luke's hand gripped around my wrist before I could do so. "Wait, Cass," Luke called, holding up one finger to motion to Hannah that he'd be back soon. "Can we talk?"
"Fine," I grumbled, letting him lead me out to the adjacent balcony. I sat down on the bench that overlooked the city of Los Angeles, and Luke mimicked my actions.
He let out an enormous sigh. "Okay, I'm sorry for that. I need to be honest with you now, okay? I really like you Cass, you're an incredible girl. But Hannah and I dated for like over a year and she just came back today and I realized when she showed up at my doorstep that I was still in love with her. I was planning on asking you to be my girlfriend, yes, so that exclusive thing was kind of a lie because before today I would have considered you to be basically my girlfriend too. I'm really sorry I had to end things with you this way and I would have loved to given us a try, but the universe is giving me a second chance with the girl I was originally planning on marrying someday, so I really don't think I can let her go. I'm sorry."
I was still mad that he had told me this in this manner, but I let my lips curl into a sad smile. My fury slowly evaporated when he spoke like the sweet Luke Hemmings that I knew, instead of the cockier one that was present in his bedroom. He made a valid point, and I would be a total jerk if I didn't recognize how important this was to him.
"It's okay. History always comes before new people in your life. I get it, Luke," I told him, placing my hand on his knee. "Hannah is really pretty and seems really nice. I'm sure you two will make a lovely couple."
It wasn't worth it to start a pathetic fight. I was already having a terrible day and if I learned anything from Max's death it was that life was much shorter than we often anticipate, so I need to make the most out of everyday and not waste my time getting upset over things that aren't entirely in my control.
"Thank you, Cass," Luke replied, slowly wrapping his arms around me in a hug. "I hope we can still be friends, okay? I don't want things to get awkward, especially since Calum will get even more uncomfortable with us than before if we hate each other."
"I don't hate you," I assured Luke. He was too cute for me to ever hate him. "I'm kind of mad that I got dressed for nothing, but I'll get over it too. Just like how I will get over my crush on you."
Luke grinned blissfully, as if he was truly grateful of my ability to be mature about this. He pressed a friendly kiss on my cheek. "Thanks, Cassidy. Speaking of crushes, I think Calum has one on you."
I nearly choked on my saliva.
"What? No, we're just best friends," I blubbered, shaking my head. There was no possibility that Calum could like me. He always viewed me as a sister or his annoying roommate.
"Cassidy," Luke deadpanned, stopping my frantic behavior. "He is so protective over you. He got a boner just from kissing you for like ten seconds. He looks at you the way I used to look at Hannah. He's willing to go to Australia with you. The signs are all there."
"I don't know," I answered wearily. Luke brought up some good arguments, but I just couldn't imagine Calum ever having any feelings for me. I thought I was the only one, all those years ago, to develop even a tiny crush on him.
Luke shrugged, hugging me again. "Okay well, happy birthday, Cassidy. Thank you for taking this so well. Hopefully I will see you soon?"
"Yeah, okay," I responded as I gave him a final hug.
This wasn't how I intended this evening to go over, but for some odd reason, my chest felt like a weight had been lifted off of it. I wasn't as disappointed as I imagined. In fact, my brain was so concentrated on figuring out if Calum liked me that I nearly forgot that Luke and I no longer had a thing together and that he was probably going to enter a serious relationship with someone that wasn't me. But I didn't even feel the tiniest piece of resentment.
•*•*•
"You okay?" Calum asked as soon as I stepped foot into our house, jumping to his feet immediately which he always seems to do, as if he's thoroughly excited over my arrival. "Aren't you supposed to be going out to dinner?"
I shrugged. "I was supposed to be, yes," I confirmed. "However, Luke's ex-girlfriend is back in the picture so I'm like fully single again, which I'm surprisingly okay with."
"Hannah?" Calum asked excitedly, and I nodded. "That's great! They were so cute together. Aw, I'm so happy for him!"
"Me too," I admitted, feeling my heart clench a little as the words flew off my tongue. I was envious that some girls were able to have long-term relationships, especially with boys as nice as Luke.
Calum licked his lips. "Are you okay with it though? I'm sorry he broke things off with you, Cass. He's an idiot. I hope he didn't hurt you."
I shrugged nonchalanty. At first I was hurt, but now I had felt my anger disintegrating. "He was kind of a dick about it but I'm okay. It just wasn't going to work out. It happens. I'll get over it."
Calum nodded in agreement as he subconsciously tucked a piece of my flowing hair behind my ear, tickling the surrounding skin. "So how has your birthday been?"
I laughed bitterly. "Honestly? It's been absolutely terrible. But that's alright. Birthdays really don't matter that much to me."
"Well maybe I can make it a little better," Calum suggested, intertwining our fingers together and tugging me over to the kitchen where a cake that said "Happy Birthday Cassie" was placed, along with a gift bag.
I brought my hands up to my lips to smother my squeals. "Oh my God! Thank you so much, Calum," I cheered, pulling him in for a side hug. I didn't even care what was in the bag. Cake was the ultimate gift.
"Open it," Calum insisted, sticking the present out. I snatched it from him and peeked inside, taking out a soft stuffed animal that resembled Max from underneath the mounds of crinkly tissue paper. "I was going to get you an actual puppy, but I didn't want you to feel like I was trying to replace Max. So I got you a Max look-alike to cuddle when you miss him."
I smiled widely, suddenly having an urge to cry at how thoughtful he was. He had already gotten me plane tickets and I didn't want him to get me anything more, but honestly, this was the best present I've ever received. "Thank you," I whispered breathlessly.
My eyes finally glimpsed up from their fixated gaze on the stuffed animal to meet Calum's brown irises. He was beaming at me and I'm sure my expression was identical to his. His eyes flickered to my lips, then back-up to keep eye contact, and I could slowly feel myself leaning in closer to him.
Maybe it was our intense stare on one another with no words escaping our mouths. Maybe it was the thrill of knowing someone so well that the simplest of gifts could make your entire day better. Maybe it was Luke's voice in the back of my brain telling me that Calum had a crush on me. Whatever the reason was, something was telling me to kiss Calum. And that's exactly what I did.
My free hand reached for the back of his neck, pulling his head down so our foreheads met. I crashed our lips together quickly, and Calum instantly kissed me back. His lips moved against my own, making every spark in the universe set off in my entire body. The stuffed animal fell out of my other hand and I placed my hand on his waist, tugging our bodies closer so there was absolutely no gap between us.
His tongue slipped inside my mouth as if the taste of my lips weren't good enough. I constantly moved my hands through his thick hair and would run my palms over his strong biceps. His own hands had managed to travel from my back to my butt, which only made my arousal increase and my heart to beat faster.
We had been kissing for minutes now, both of our lips moving naturally against one another in the most fluid form possible. Kissing Calum in such a passionate way was one of the most exhilarating experiences I have ever had. I don't know for sure if Calum has a crush on me. But I could say now, with confidence, that I sure as hell had a crush on him.
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author's note: fINALLY OH MY GOD CAN WE THROW AN OTPARTY OR WHAT
I LOVE C SQUARED SO MUCH I WANT THEM TO KISS EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY BUT THAT WOULD BE SUPER DUPER WEIRD BUT I SHIP THEM SO HARD MAN
AND LUKE IS FINALLY OUT OF THE WAY WOW THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD
also hannah is based on my bff hannah (aka starbucksluke here on wattpad) so if any of u slutshame her character or anything i will beat u with a salami stick. i might laugh too tho idk it depends on what u say but be nice children
I LOVE U ALL I LOVE MY SUGARPLUMS THANK U GUYS FOR READING THIS I HOPE THE ENDING MADE U HAPPY CAUSE U GUYS MAKE ME HAPPY ILYSM
dedictaed to bootyfulcalum for saying that im like ed sheeran bc i put so much detail in my paragraphs like thAT IS SUCH A COMPLIMENT WOW THANK YOU