{Kaelynn}
As I laid in bed awake pretty much all night, I had a lot of time to reevaluate my life.
This isn't the life I should be living. I'm going back to my old ways, and there's honestly no reason for it. I have a good job, I'm on track to graduate, and I have a really good boyfriend. Even though he has a new female friend, I honestly don't even get a bad vibe from him. He's been truthful with me this whole time. I can tell. He is completely correct too. His calling in life is to help people. He is such a kind, giving, patient person. The way I treat him is completely uncalled for. He deserves so much better than me. Even though I should, I just can't let him go though.
Before getting out of bed, I picked my phone up. On the way out the door, I checked my messages.
BaeJay:
Kaelynn I love you so much. Sometimes love just isn't enough though. We need to sit down and have a real heart to heart.
See, I need to do better. He doesn't even deserve to feel that way. He's in love with me and I'm the worst person in the world.
Eric:
Have you told him yet?
Those five words made my heart sink. It brought my mind back to one particular day.
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{Flashback}
Kaelynn hugged and kissed Jahmir before leaving his house. She walked over to her house and went in. Not even ten minutes into her homework, the doorbell rang. She knew it couldn't be Jahmir, so she had no idea who it was.
When she opened the door, there stood a furious Eric and a nervous Harvey.
"Hey." She nervously smiled. "What brings you two here?"
"We have to talk right now." Eric said as he invited himself in. Harvey followed behind him. He looked towards his grandfather's house before shutting the door.
As the three of them stood in the foyer, Kaelynn already knew she was in big trouble. She could tell by Eric's whole demeanor.
"So... does anyone want to explain to me why I seen both of y'all trying to sneak out my house a few days ago?"
Harvey and Kaelynn looked at eachother. Neither of them said a word. Guilt was eating them both alive.
"I can just go get Jahmir and let him ask."
He was about to go towards the door, but they both put their hands out to stop him. The last thing they wanted was anybody else knowing about the situation.
"We were both drunk!" I blurted out. "It was a mistake."
"Neither one of us barely remember what happened. That's wh-"
Eric did the most unexpected thing. He punched Harvey so hard that Harvey stumbled back. He groaned and held his jaw, but he didn't even bother bucking back at Eric. He knew he deserved that and so much more.
"Why the fuck would you do that bruh?! You don't know how good you got it. It's hard to find a loyal, faithful female these days." His gaze shot to Kaelynn. "Yo hoe ass wouldn't know shit about being faithful. Why the fuck would you do that to my cousin? He ain't been nothing but good to your dumb ass."
Kaelynn didn't know what to say. She just turned her gaze to the floor. Nothing she said could justify her actions. She knew that she should have never drank so much, especially not knowing how alcohol would effect her.
"I'm your cousin! What the hell are you hitting on me for?" Harvey asked as he rubbed his face.
"I don't give a damn who you are. I'm not about to stand beside you and have your back while you doin foul ass shit." He shook his head. "When are y'all going to tell them? That's all I want to know."
That was the question neither of them knew the answer to. They wanted to wait until the time was right, but they knew the time would never be right.
"I can't tell Willow right now. Not now that she's going through a miscarriage."
Eric and Kaelynn looked at him. Eric seemed to be getting mad all over again, while Kaelynn just felt confused.
"This morning I had to rush her to the hospital." He started tearing up. "Our baby is gone."
"I'm sorry that happened, but that isn't an excuse to lie to her." Eric shook his head. "Y'all have until Christmas to tell them or I will."
"You really gonna mess up Christmas like that bruh?" Harvey questioned jokingly.
"You're trying to act like you've never flirted with me before. You probably mad because it wasn't you."
Eric's face scrunched up at Kaelynn's words. "Girl you done lost your damn mind. Unlike you, I know how to be loyal to the ones I love. That cheating shit is wack as fuck dawg. If you wanna be a fucking hoe you shoulda been broke up with my cousin. Neither one of them should go into a new year in the blind about the ones they love the most. Since neither of you were faithful, you both can at least start to be honest."
"Let's not pretend like you've never cheated on anybody." Kaelynn said as she rolled her eyes.
"I'm not going through the trouble. If I don't wanna be with somebody I'm not going to be. I see how you're trying to flip this shit back on me, but it's not going to work. Like I muthafuckin said, y'all tell them or I will."
After his words, he stormed out the door.
{Flashback End}
"Kaelynn?" I looked up to see my mom coming from the kitchen with Kiya in her arms. "Merry Christmas."
We had a heart to heart a few nights ago. We needed it so much. Her and I are so much alike, and that's what I feared. She betrayed her best friend for a man. I slept with my boyfriend's arch enemy and his cousin. I didn't sleep with Omar while Jahmir and I have been together, but I'm still ashamed. He's tried to protect me from Omar all these years, then all of a sudden I sleep with him.
My mind is all over the place, but anyway, my mom and I are on better terms. Our relationship won't ever be as good as it was, but at least we aren't at odds right now.
"Merry Christmas mom." I sighed as I went over to the sofa and sat down.
"That was so dry." She came and sat beside me. "A lot on your mind, huh?"
The thing I love about my mom is she didn't judge me too hard. I didn't go into full detail, but I told her that I've done some terrible things. Not something you want to tell your mom, but I just needed to vent. She seemed a little disappointed when I told her it had to do with Jahmir. She even apologized for not being a good role model.
"I just don't know what to do."
"Well baby, do you think Jahmir would break up with you for whatever you did? Is that why you're scared to tell him?"
That's exactly what I'm afraid of. He already has a beautiful new friend who he seems to be intrigued by. I know he wouldn't actually cheat on me, but what if he breaks up with me then get with her? Then I'll be all alone.
"Did you steal from him?"
It's not like I want to tell my mother that I fucked his cousin. Judging by our recent conversations, she thinks I'm still a virgin. There's no telling how she would react to know that I'm not one anymore. After the whole Mikayla ordeal, I'd much rather keep sexual things to myself.
"Yes. A lot." That lie came out my mouth way too easy. I just don't want her to keep trying to figure out what I've done.
"Well honey, that's a very foul thing to do, but you have to look at who we're talking about. Jahmir is rare. He's a very kind, understanding person. He has a lot of similar qualities of your father actually."
My face naturally scrunched up when she said that. I tried my best to straighten my face, but that last sentence was not what I wanted to hear.
She switched Kiya to her other arm so she could place her free hand on mine. She lightly giggled, probably at my expression. "Honey if you ever gave your father a chance, you would see what I mean. Your father is such a caring man. He's a person that wants to see everyone win. He would give the shirt off his back even in this cold weather. No hesitation at all. From the very day we met, I just knew I would end up falling in love with him. And I never fell out of love with him." She frowned up as her eyes dropped to the floor. "Even if I did cheat on him." She mumbled.
Hearing this from her isn't even surprising. Mikayla and I always wondered why they got a divorce. We wanted to know so bad, but they would never tell us. When they sat us down to talk about it, they stayed neutral. They didn't put the blame on eachother. Behind his back, mom would insinuate it was his fault though. Because of her, I felt animosity towards him. I was mad at him for hurting her. But ten years later, I'm finally getting the truth.
"So you lied? Why?"
She wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. "I don't have a logical explanation." She rubbed her wet hand on her pant leg. "This has been a very challenging year Kaelynn. This family is a mess right now. It's going to take a lot, but hopefully we can reconcile and heal."
There's no denying she was talking about her and Mikayla with her last statement. Honestly, I believe her. I really do believe that she had a change of heart. I don't think she was really going to force Mikayla to have an abortion. But now... sadly... we'll never know. I don't think Mikayla will ever forgive her.
"I went way off topic." She deeply exhaled, wiping another tear. "Learn from me Kaelynn: honesty is the best policy. Tell Jahmir the truth, and tell him quickly."
I can't. She doesn't understand. She can't understand since I won't tell her the truth.
Silence fell upon us as she rocked Kiya to sleep. I stared at the blank TV until a question popped up in my mind.
"Do you and dad have any plans today?"
She lightly smiled. "We plan on going to the Phillip's house for dinner later. I'm surprised you aren't over there yet. When are you going over there?"
I can't face Jahmir right now. I don't know if Eric was bluffing about telling him or not.
Just as I was about to respond to her, I suddenly remembered something very important that I have to do.
"Much, much later. I have something to do." I stood up and started walking towards the stairs. "I should go get ready now so I can head out soon."
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Asking a few people in the lobby helped me find Kelly in the kitchen. She was in here all by herself, doing multiple things at one time.
I came to the help center to drop off the things for my angel. I hate that I didn't already bring it, but it's better late than never. To see how happy my angel was for their gifts put me in a better mood.
"Umm, excuse me."
As she peeled potatoes, she glanced over at me. A smile braced her frantic face. Suddenly she seemed less anxious.
"Kaelynn hi, nice to see you again." She must have really good memory to remember my name. I'd only came around once or twice, despite how many times Jahmir has wanted me to come.
"Hey. I came here to accomplish Jahmir's Christmas present."
She put the potato down that she was peeling and picked up another one.
"That kid is unbelievable. I'll bet the present was for you to gift an angel, wasn't it?"
I nodded.
She shook her head with an even bigger smile than before. Her eyes glistened as a tear slid down her face.
"Jahmir is such an amazing person. He is so selfless instead of selfish. That's so rare these days. What teenage boy do you know that's as giving and caring as him? He is really something special."
Her praising Jahmir brought up a sadness that I'd been trying to push away for the longest. She's right. They say nobody's perfect, but Jahmir is as close as I've ever seen to perfect. I don't want to be alone, but I know I'm no good for him.
She seems to be the only person cooking. A part of me hated to ask her if she needed help, but this could be the distraction I need.
"Do you have any volunteers?"
She went to check the oven quickly. "Actually I don't. My three volunteers bailed on me. My sister and neices will be here to help a little later though."
I went over to the sink to wash my hands. "I can help out for now."
She stopped what she was doing and unexpectedly started tearing up again. I thought it was weird honestly. All I said was I'll help her cook. "You're a lifesaver baby. I want to be able to start serving food by noon and now I should be able to."
"It's okay." I lightly smiled. "What do you want me to do?" I asked as I grabbed a pair of gloves. My hair was up in a bun, so it was already out the way.
"If you can cut up the onions, celery, and carrots that will be a big help. Let me go clean my face right quick. I'll be right back."
She quickly left the kitchen, leaving me alone. I don't cook much, but that doesn't mean I can't cook. I just don't have the time most days. I couldn't imagine trying to cook for a thousand people at one time. Now that I think about it, that's probably why she teared up. She was probably overwhelmed trying to do everything on her own.
Before long, Kelly returned to the kitchen.
We didn't speak much for a while, we were both so focused on getting as much food on and in the stove as possible.
After we got the second batch of food in the stove, we started working on prepping a few pans of dessert.
A random question popped into my mind. One that I wonder if even Jahmir knows the answer to.
"So Ms. Kelly, may I ask how you're able to run a nonprofit facility? Do you have another job? Is this actually your place?"
"Well, the answer is kinda simple, yet kinda complex." She said as she started on a different dish. "A beautiful soul was the one who started this facility. She never wanted it to be known, though, because she did it out the kindness of her heart, not recognition. Helen Phillips. She left the building to me when she passed away. This is where I spend most of my time, but I do have other side jobs I do. My passion has always been to help people, so I'm fortunate enough to be able to."
As she briefly explained some characteristics of the lady, I had a feeling she was talking about Jahmir's grandmother. That lady was literally God's gift to Earth. She made an good impact in so many people's lives.
"Oh, so she must be how you met Jahmir." I casually said as I leaned against a counter. We had so much food already made that we barely had much room to make much more right now.
Her whole mood changed when I asked her that. I don't know if she was nervous or disappointed. Either way, the happiness she once seemed to have faded away.
"Let's not talk about that."
She was just praising him earlier, now she doesn't want to talk about him. If that isn't weird then I don't know what is.
"Why not?" I questioned. "It's not like it's a big secret."
"Regardless of anything that happened in my past, he's in my life now." She said that with a slight attitude, then suddenly she started smiling again. "But let's not get caught up in that. Let's go set up so we can start serving baby."
For some odd reason, that topic really bothered her, so I'm willing to let it go for now. There is definitely some sort of back story there, but perhaps that's another story for another day.