I sit in the choir room, listening to Sues morning announcement.
Attention McKinley idiots. It's homecoming week, which means that a bunch of old farts will be creeping around the hallways like game of throne white walkers... horrifying you with their beer bellies and their liver spots. And that's just the class of 2012. FYI, the much-beloved McKinley high homecoming dance is canceled, due to... uh, let's say sharia law.
Sue finishes the announcement and Rachel walks in almost instantly... covered in red slushy. I smirk.
"Oh, how I've missed this school." I mutter and go to help Rachel.
That night we all sit around in Mr. Shue's living room, talking about it.
"I mean, honestly, I forgot how cold those slushees are. They chill you to the bone!" Rachel complains.
"I'm so sorry that happened, Rachel. All right, guys, dinner is served." Mr. Shue says and we follow him into the dining room.
"You know what, thought? It didn't really bother me. It's like I felt good being an underdog again, like I was getting back to my McKinley roots." Rachel smiles.
"All that from getting slusheed in the face? Well I guess Becky did you a solid." Sam asks.
"I know it made me nostalgic." I smirk, sitting down.
"Well, I don't know." Rachel says as everyone's seated.
"Uh, Wait, So you three are codirecting, then?" Mr. Shue asks. Kurt says yes while Rachel says not really.
"Well, I guess we haven't come around to that conversation yet." I say.
"We're just focusing on recruiting right now, so... oh, guess that's Blaine." Rachel finishes as the door bell rings, Mr. Shue going to open it.
"Hey everybody. Oh, my god, you will not believe the day that I just had. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?" He asks.
"Uh, not much. But since I have you all here, we might as well get started.. We have some fierce show choir competition ahead of us, and, uh, I think we should lay down some ground rules." Mr. Shue starts.
"Yes. Uh, like no stealing each other's set lists and no spying." Rachel starts the rules.
"And no poaching." Mr. Shue adds.
"And always be supportive and clap for each other, no matter what." Sam finishes.
"I actually really, really, really need everyone's advice. I have a huge dilemma. A girl wants to join the warblers." Blaine explains.
"What's the dilemma?" Rachel asks, grabbing some salad.
"I don't exactly see a problem here Blaine." I say, silently challenging him.
"You cannot be on the wrong side of history here. I mean, you of all people should know that." Mr. Shue advises.
"Well, I know, I just think that tradition is important, too, you know?" Blaine says.
"Yeah, well, some traditions are meant to be broken." Rachel points out.
"You have to let her try out. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Kurt adds and sends Blaine in deep thought.
The next day, the three of us are in the choir room, still getting things ready.
"Well, I never agreed to be your assistant. I'm just saying, cochair seems a little more fair." Kurt says.
"It's completely fair and that's the way things should be done." I add.
"Yeah, well neither of you would have thought to do your work study program here at McKinley if I wasn't here in the first place." Rachel argues.
"Okay. Well, let's just hold off on the whole labels issue until we actually have a glee club to lead." Kurt says.
"I'm labeling myself as a coach." I say and sit on the piano bench.
"Where did you put 'we both reached for the gun' from Chicago?" Kurt asks.
"1975 to 1980." Rachel informs him.
"You organized them chronologically?" Kurt asked.
"Yes." Rachel says. Kurt sighs. Rachel walks over to his stacks.
"Wait a minute. What does Xanadu have to do with Ace of base?" Rachel asks.
"I'm filing them based on emotion, as we always should have filed them. All right, this pile is divas struck back and that pile is cherish yourself and that pile right there is makeovers 'cause we always tend to love a good makeover." Kurt explains, annoyed.
"Great. Well we just wasted the past two hours, and now we have to start all over again." Rachel yells.
"Okay, there is no point in organizing sheet music if we don't have any members. Rachel, you've got to be more proactive if you expect this to work. Okay, you can't just post a sign up sheet and-and expect people to sign up, like Mr. Shue did. McKinley has changed. Sue has got these kids thinking the arts don't even exist. We have got to show them that glee is possible. I'll be in he auditorium." Kurt finishes, walking out of the room.
We hear a voice in the vents and it sounds really amazing. Rachel and I look at each other. I sigh.
"Go after it. I'll try and organize the music based on emotion because that was a good idea." I say as Rachel runs out of the room. I sigh again and force myself off of the bench.
The next day Kurt and I are in the auditorium when Rachel walks over to us.
"Found the god mic." Kurt says. Rachel sits down awkwardly.
"Okay, I know things got a little crazy earlier, and we both said some things about your life that weren't so nice, so... mostly me. Wait, why are you smiling?" Kurt asks.
"You look like you just beat up the kid who took your lunch money." I say looking at her weird smile.
"'Cause you were right. About me hiding in here and not being proactive. But when you left yesterday, I had an epiphany and Dani and I heard a voice." Rachel announces excitingly.
"Y-You found a student?" Kurt asks, surprised.
"Well, not exactly. But I heard him. At least I think it's a him." Rachel points at him.
"Pretty sure it's a him." I nod.
"Well, let's not label or judge." Kurt shrugs.
"The point is, is that you were right. About everything. They're out there. They're here right now in mckinley, hiding in plain sight. They just need something huge to draw them out, to show them what they could be." Rachel smiles.
"So I got on the phone." Rachel says.
"With who?" Kurt asks. Suddenly a spot light shines. I look on stage and gasp upon seeing Mercedes, Santana, and Brittany. We all stand up.
"With everyone." Santana says.
"Surprise!" Mercedes says.
"Let's go say hi." Rachel says and I practically run down the auditorium. Artie, Sam, Quinn, and Noah all walk on stage as we make out way too. They hug each other. The three of us hug Artie and then I jump into Noah's awaiting arms. I quickly hug everyone else tightly.
"Now the whole gang is back to reboot the glee club." Rachel says happily.
"Damn it, you guys, you said you'd wait for me to park the rental car!" Tina yells, running on stage through the back.
"Oh. Tina! Tina!" They all say together. We start chanting her name. She smiles and walks over for a group hug.
We all move into the choir room and everyone sits down as the three of us stand in front of them.
"It's so great to have you all together in this room again. It means so much to us that you would come at the drop of a hat." Rachel says.
"Artie, are you drawing me?" Quinn asks.
"I have missed you guys so much." I mutter.
"Nope, just your boobs. I'm practicing for my storyboarding class." Artie says and I snicker.
"Okay, we need to focus." Rachel says.
"Yeah, guys, we really got to focus here, Okay? W-we're In crisis mode, all right?" Kurt backs her up. I nod.
"Glee club has done so much for all of us. You know? It brought us together, it-it gave us hope, it put us out in the world." Kurt trailed off.
"And it brought some of us home again." Rachel smiles.
"She's talking about me." Sam interrupts.
"Here's the situation. We need you guys back- not all the time, we realize that you have lives in other places." Rachel says.
"And we know you have important things to do, but glee club is important too." I add.
"We've got to get glee club back on its feet, you know? Especially since now some of us are the competition." Kurt explains.
"He's talking about Shue and Blaine." Sam explains to them.
"We need you back. Not all the time, but if you're not here, then the tradition of the glee club we love so much will be gone. So we're going to find kids that can bring something to it the same way we did, and we will mentor them based on our strengths." Rachel informs.
"But right now we really got to get out there and take on the school. You know, really rattle sues cage. We are going to give McKinley a little taste of what they've been missing." Kurt says as he turns the stereo on to play 'take me on'.
We sing through the school, trying to get students interested in glee. Sue keeps yelling at us but we sing and run away from her. We don't get anyone to sing or dance with us and Artie has to take his drawings out of the trash that Sue threw them in...
Later In the day I follow Noah into the 'tea party patriot club' as Noah yells 'attention', other former glee members followings as well.
"At ease, teabaggers. Im airman first class Noah Puckerman. But you can call me sir." Noah introduces.
"When we went to McKinley, we were part of conservative clubs as well, such as the celibacy club and the god squad." Quinn continues.
"Most of you are Christians, right?" Mercedes interrupts asking them.
"We're all Christian." A girl answered.
"Before I joined glee club, I only hug out with people that were exactly like me." Quinn stated.
"And then Puck got her pregnant, and she sort of changed for the better." Tina added.
"Point is, nerds, you need to take the three-cornered hats out of your loser butts and join new directions! They'll take anybody. Even you." Noah finished looking at some girl.
"Sir, I was brought up to respect my elders but don't call us losers. The tea party patriots is McKinley's most popular club." The girl says proudly.
"No freakin' way." I mutter
"Oh, my god, that's horrible. What is happening to America?!" Tina shrieks.
"Oh, my god, Tina, calm the hell down." I ground out.
"I'll tell you what's happened. We've grown up in the biggest economic depression since the 1930's. Our mission is to fix the mess that Barack Hussein Obama created before he and the homo-elite turn this country into a Muslim welfare state." The guy with the gavel said with such hatred. Mercedes and I were pissed.
"That was some racist bull-crap." I spit.
"Oh, no. Oh, hell to the no. You know what? Don't you, you or you join the glee club. 'Cause you know, we don't need you ignorant, backwards, Lily-white, gay-hating, Obama-bashing clobbers anyway." Mercedes rants, yelling at everyone. We start to walk out.
"And if Any of you dare to step foot in our choir room, I will beat the hell out of you. ALL OF YOU!" I yell storming out of the room.
I met up with Santana, Brittany, and Artie with Quinn next to me. We walked to the football field hoping to recruit some people here. We even changed into McKinley alum cheer uniforms and Artie, his old jacket.
"Remember, sex sells." Santana says.
"That's true, that's how lady tubbington got lord tubbington caught up in a Ponzi scheme." Brittany explained as we reach the field. The band starts playing 'problem'.
Santana:
I got one more problem with you, girl (The Cheerios: I got one less, one less problem)
Ey
Quinn (The Cheerios):
Hey, baby, even though I hate ya
I wanna love ya
(I want you)
Quinn sings to the football players.
And even though I can't forgive ya
I really wanna
(I want you)
Brittany (The Cheerios):
Tell me, tell me baby
Why can't you leave me?
Brittany, Santana and I dance on the field, the band following us.
Cause, even though I shouldn't want it
I gotta have it
(I want you)
Me:
Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders
I should be wiser and realize that I've got
The four of us moved in a straight line and followed our choreography.
Artie:
One less problem without you
I got one less problem without you
I got one less problem without you
We moved to dance through the field as some of the Cheerios danced as well.
Me (The Cheerios):
I know you're never gonna wake up
I gotta give up
(But it's you)
I know I shouldn't ever call back
Or let you come back
(But I do)
Santana with Brittany:
Every time you touch me
And say you love me
The three of us dancing with the Cheerios and Quinn somewhere else on the field.
Quinn:
I get a little bit breathless
Santana with Brittany:
I shouldn't want it
The Cheerios:
But I do
Santana with Brittany and me:
Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders
I should be wiser and realize that I've got
We move to behind the bleachers to dance against the gates, the four of us with our choreography.
Santana:
Smart money bettin', I'll be better off without you
In no time, I'll be forgettin' all about you
You saying that you know but I really, really doubt you
Understand my life is easy when I ain't around you
No half-stepping, either you want it or you just playin'
I'm listening to you knowin' I can't believe what you're sayin'
There's a million you's, baby boo, so don't be dumb
I got 99 problems but you won't be one, like what
We move back to the field and the four of us stand together as the band and the Cheerios dance around us.
Me (The Cheerios):
Ooh (One less, one less problem)
Ooh (One less, one less problem)
Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders (One less, one less problem)
Santana with Me and Brittany and Quinn:
I should be wiser and realize that I've got (The Cheerios: One less, one less problem)
We all move forward and the four of us dance with the Cheerios.
Artie:
One less problem without you (Brittany Hey)
I got one less problem without you (Santana: Ooh, babe)
I got one less problem without you (Quinn: Hoo)
The Cheerios:
I got one less, one less problem (Me: Hoo, baby)
Artie:
One less problem without you (Brittany: Yeah, yeah)
Santana with The Cheerios:
I got one less, one less problem (Santana: Oooh)
The Cheerios (and Santana):
I got one less, one less (problem)
Santana:
Yeah
We finish to turn around, looking at some of the Cheerios, Artie clapping at us.
"You guys, got some great moves. We could really use some of that in glee club." Artie says to passing girls.
"Yeah, you could." Kitty says, coming out from the crowd. I purse my lips.
"Out of everyone, Sue keeps you?" I ask in distaste. She looks at me and then down at Artie.
"Oh, hi Artie." She says simply.
"Kitty, wh-Where have you been? I thought sue made all the new directions transfer out of McKinley. We need you back." Artie says.
"You really think I'm gonna come back and help you and your stupid glee club after the way you treated all of us? The way you treated me when you went away to college? Sue didn't make me transfer because she's smart enough to recognize a star player when she sees one. Unlike Rachel Berry, who never even knew any of our names." Kitty ranted.
"If your the star player then I can see why this school is worse then when I left it." I smirked. Brittany scoffed.
"I know your name, it's Quinn." Brittany said. Santana and I laughed.
"I'm Quinn." She stated.
"Liar." Brittany whispered.
"Listen, don't you guys want to do more than just get shot out of cannons? Don't you want to be a star?" Santana asks.
"Oh, that is rich coming from you, pathetically stuffed back into your Cheerios uniform again." Kitty sighed.
"Can two people try out together?" Two people who looked really similar said at the same time.
"Yep. I don't see why not. The three of us tried out together while Dani here was already in the glee club." Quinn said, giving me an eye.
"Still holding that grudge Quinn?" I ask, looking at the possible recruits.
"Of course the incest twins want in. Let's go, ladies. We have to explain to these two again why flowers in the attic is not a love story to aspire to." Kitty said and walked off with some Cheerios. I look at them and realize that I could totally see they're twins.
We all gather back in the choir room. Santana and I sitting on the piano.
"Okay, guys, progress report. How's it going with the new recruits?" Rachel asks, sitting in the stands.
"Horrible." Quinn says.
"It ain't working." Noah purses his lips.
"It's not good, Rachel. Glee club has fallen so far at this school, we're not gonna be able to get anyone to join." Mercedes says. Suddenly we hear the voice. Rachel looks at me quickly as we all look at the vents.
"There's the voice again." We all walk right in front of the vent and then we keep following them.
"Dudes, he's in the showers in the locker room. They're always in the shower." Sam says. We shush him. We follow it to the library and split up. We all corner that chubby kid who always wears the headphones. He takes them off.
"Oh, god. Are you guys gonna beat me up? 'Cause I just need a second to get in the deal position..." he says, starting to sit down.
"No, no, we... we heard you sing." Rachel says.
"Yeah, you're amazing." Mercedes adds.
"Dude, you've got to audition for the glee club." Artie says.
"So people can make fun of me more than they already do? Even the principle calls me white precious." The guy says. Noah and I are the only ones to chuckle.
"Come here, you are precious." Noah says, helping him off the floor.
"Well, all anybody cares about in glee club is the way you sing." Mercedes assures.
"Look, no one has signed up for your club yet, right? Okay. Well, having me as your first member is just gonna drive kids away even more. I have designed my entire life around people not noticing me." The guy tells us. I laugh and look down at Artie.
"Hey, So did you." Artie gives me a tight smile and Noah and I chuckle.
"Look, no one has wanted to feel more invisible than I have over the past couple of months. But when I'm with these people, they remind me of the best parts of myself. And they would never make fun of me." Rachel tries to convince him.
"Mm, not to her face. No way." Brittany says and I smirk.
"You're the poster child for glee club. You're why Mr. Shue started the club in the first place. It's a place where misfits can fit in. Will you please try out? I'm really sorry I came on so strong. But you can sing whatever you want." Rachel says to him.
"I guarantee you're gonna get in." Kurt assures.
"Look at all of us. We're all so different, and yet there's nothing that we wouldn't do for each other. We're all just a phone call away. And that is because we took a chance on glee club. And that's something that you deserve as well." Quinn finishes and I'm pretty sure she's convinced him.
After school we all sit in the auditorium and wait for him to audition. I sit next to Santana who sits next to Brittany who sits next to Quinn.
"Hey, uh, can you... can you take your headphones off? It's distracting me." Sam asks. I look at him weirdly.
"Uh, actually, I kind of need..." he starts.
"No, it's fine. It's okay. You can keep them on. We get it. Everyone had their own security blanket. We just want to hear you sing." Rachel says as 'mustang sally' starts playing.
I'm immediately blown away by his voice. It was great through the vents but this is amazing. The four of us talk and we make our way through the stage with mics and stand in a line, singing back-up doing small choreography.
We clap and cheer as it's over. People in the chairs even stand up.
"Thank you. Uh, we'll be posting names this week, but that was really amazing, Roderick. Thank you. OKAY YOU'RE IN." Rachel yells into the mic. We all cheer for him. He merely puts his headphones back on and walks out.
It's the end of a school day and Kurt, Roderick, and I are on the look out for Rachel. We walk into the auditorium.
"Oh, there she is. Come on. You don't want to be late for the first official glee club meeting. You okay?" Kurt asks as we make our way to her on stage.
"Yeah, I was just... thinking about Mr. Shue. About how he did it. About how he turned nothing into what we became. As individuals and a team, as friends." Rachel admits.
"Well, we can't recreate what we had, but we have to be open to finding something new or different or better." Kurt responds.
"So why don't we just have the meeting in here? I mean, since I am the only member." Roderick suggests.
"First of all, we have to have the first meeting in the choir room; it's tradition. And second of all, you're not the only member. Someone new joined yesterday." Rachel announced.
"Um, what?" I ask.
"Wait, who?" Kurt asks as well. Suddenly Blaine bursts through the door.
"I cannot believe you did this! We sat down, we made rules. No poaching." Blaine yelled.
"It's not poaching. She came to me." Rachel said and explained how the girl who wanted to be a warbler wants to transfer to McKinley and be apart of our glee club.
"And besides what did you expect me to do? I mean, say no? Jane asked me not to say anything until the transfer papers were through." Rachel told him.
"I just spent the last two days threatening to quit my job in order to convince everyone to let her in, and as soon as I did, she tells me she's leaving to join your team? I was humiliated." Blaine argues.
"Blaine, you have a full team and god knows how many other students at dalton would kill to join." Kurt explains.
"Don't act all cool and loving about this, Kurt. I'm sure you're very happy about all of this. I wouldn't be surprised if you made this all happen after seeing you with Dave." Blaine shot back and Kurt's jaw hung.
"Uh, maybe I should just go." Roderick suggested. We all protested.
"No, stay. You should stay and see what kind of people your coach's are... this whole friendly competition thing... it's over." Blaine finished and stormed out.
We all went back into the glee club to introduce the new members. The three of us stood in front of them.
"The new and improved glee club has officially begun." Kurt said.
"Introducing our first two members; Jane and Roderick." Rachel said and we moved out of the way for everyone to see. We clapped. They waved.
"If you build it, they will come." Sam said in a deep voice.
"Well, they'd better come fast. I mean, I'm sorry, but two people?" Tina says.
"Shut up, Tina. There's actually four. As per usual, my undeniable sexual magnetism has worked yet again. Ladies and gentlemen, this is mason and Madison McCarthy." Santana says, walking in with the twins from earlier. We clap for them as well.
"Hey, gang. We're super pumped there's a glee club again. Now, I know what you're thinking. They can obviously log roll and kick toss, but can they sing? Well, not to too our own horns..." Mason trails off.
"Toot! But we've won karaoke night at the wapakoneta summer cheer camp every year since we were three. It's in our blood. Our parents met while touring with the inspirational, world-famous singing group, up with people." Madison informs us. Mason raises the roof. I give Santana a look.
"No, no, no, no, no, no. I think I've made a mistake." Santana says immediately.
"No, it's okay. You're welcome. I mean, you're gonna have to audition. We have a very rigorous process." Rachel informs them.
"I mean, not really. Sugar Motta was literally tone-dead." Tina says.
"Yeah, but she was hot." Artie says. I grimace.
"I'm actually really happy. This is the start of something really special. And I know that most of you came home for homecoming and not for me, Dani, and Kurt, but we can't tell you how grateful we are for your help." Rachel says and we all go in for a group hug. Even the new members. Sam starts playing 'home' on his guitar and we all sing, eventually heading to homecoming and seeing how good the twins are at singing at they were really good.