Baby girl Jackson entered the world 2 months early and at the side of a road 45 minutes ago. I have not yet been able to see her as she is currently being checked over by the nurses to make sure that she is okay. An early delivery was always a possibility considering how quickly Whitney fell pregnant after the birth of her youngest child, Joey. Joey was only 4 months old when Whitney fell pregnant so her pregnancy was classed as high risk because her midwife feared that that baby would come early, but Whitney never seemed too worried about it. I doubt that her alcohol intake and the stress of the argument she had with Sarah helped matters though. Sarah is the hero of the day and delivered the baby like an expert while trying to keep Whitney as calm as possible. Cheryl and I have just arrived at the hospital and Sarah has just filled us in on what has happened and i can not get my head around the fact that Sarah was the one to bring the baby into the world. Sarah looks as white as a ghost and her hands are still trembling so I hug her, and she sinks into my body and clings onto me like all she needed right now was to be held by someone. Apparently at one point the baby's cord was wrapped around it's neck and without thinking about what was happening or what she was doing Sarah saved the baby's life while Whitney screamed and asked God to make sure that her new, little daughter would be okay.
When we go into Whitney's room her head is dropped back onto the big, white pillow and she is sleeping peacefully, recovering from her ordeal. Her make up is smudged, there is little beads of sweat gathering on her forehead that her hair is sticking to but considering what she has just been through she looks much better than I expected her to. The baby was whisked away as soon as they arrived at the hospital but according to Sarah she seemed to be doing well, she is beautiful and has a good set of lungs on her which made me laugh when Cheryl said that she must take after her mother .
When I touch Whitney's hand she slowly wakes up and her eyes flutter open. For a few seconds she does not know where she is or what has happened. Suddenly remembering that she has a new daughter she sits ups quickly and winces at the pain that goes through her body. "Where's my baby? What's happened to my baby?" She asks frantically and she tries to climb out of bed so Cheryl has to step in and stop her.
"Shh, calm down" Cheryl tells her in a soft voice that is no more than a whisper. She holds her hand and smiles into her worried face. "Everything is fine, Whit. The nurses are just checking her over and they said that they're going to bring her back to you in a few"
"She's beautiful, Whitney" Sarah tells her with tears gathering in her eyes once again and Whitney manages a weak smile.
"Thank you for everything, I mean it. Thank you"
"You don't have to thank me but I don't think that I'll ever be able to sleep again" Sarah jokes and shares a smile with the woman she could not stand the sight of a good few hours ago.
"Where's Lilly and the boys?" Whitney asks.
"They're fine" I smile at her now. "They woke up when I was leaving with Cheryl but they are all okay. We left them with Nadine so there is no need to worry. Sarah said that you did such a good job, I'm so proud of you" I kiss her forehead and she smiles again. Paisley was inquisitive as we left the little chalet. It is 1am so she knows that my "We're going to the shop to help Whitney find some chocolate" excuse was nothing more than a lie and i could have came up with a better excuse if i wasn't in such a mad rush but she didn't ask too many questions, she is far too bothered about the teddy that she won at the talent competition. Because of the drama that was going on between Sarah and Whitney we accidentally left it behind and she is upset about it.
"Do the nurses know I had been drinking?" Whitney whispers. "If they know they'll be straight on the phone to the social and I can't lose my kids, I just cant"
"They don't know so don't worry" Sarah tells her. "They weren't going to find out from me"
"Thank you" Whitney says and Sarah leaves the room to let the nurses know that Whitney is awake and asking for her baby. It is true what they say about forgetting all about the pain endured during the birth once your baby is placed in your arms and you can see that on Whitney's face when the nurse hands her baby to her. "Hello, I'm your Mum" Whitney cries as she looks down at the new bundle in her arms and Cheryl's eyes lock onto mine over the bed that we are stood at each side of. Cheryl looks like she is about to cry too. She has always been emotional, but this really is a special moment and I am so glad that we are able to be a part of it.
In the little green seat that Sarah is perched on she is smiling from ear to ear. It is funny how things turn out. It has been a funny ol' day that I doubt Sarah will ever forget. I have already told Sarah how proud I am of her but I squeeze her hand just to remind her and she gives mine a gentle squeeze back. "Come over here and say a proper hello to her" Whitney tells Sarah and Sarah gets up and makes her way over to the bed.
"Is everything okay with her?" She asks the Jamaican nurse who seems like a genuinely lovely woman. She has been smiling since she came bouncing into the room and you can tell that she really loves her job and that is nice to see. "The cord was around her neck and I didn't know what to do. I managed to get it off but I was so scared that I was going to hurt her"
"You did a terrific job" The nurse smiles at Sarah who is still worrying. "She may be on the small side, but she is perfect in every other way"
"Thank God" Sarah and Whitney say in unison and Sarah runs her finger over the tiniest hand I have ever seen in my life. Alaina was a small baby; she is still small now but this little baby who was not supposed to come into the world for another couple of months is tiny. "You can hold her" Whitney tells Cheryl but Cheryl shakes her head.
"No, It's okay. You keep her, I can wait"
"Please" Whitney says and holds the baby out to her so Cheryl can take her. When she does so she sits at the edge of the bed with me beside her. With my arm around Cheryl's back I look down at the fresh, new child who is looking up at her with beautiful, brown eyes. Her coffee coloured skin and mop of dark, curly hair is enough to make anyone's heart melt. "She doesn't look like any of my other kids, does she?"
"Not at all" I say. I assume that this baby looks just like her father because she does not look like Whitney at all but I doubt that I will ever know that for certain as according to Whitney she does not even know his name let alone any way of contacting him to let him know that he fathered her child. "She is absolutely gorgeous, isn't she, baby?"
"She's perfect" Cheryl nods passing the baby to me for a cuddle. Whitney looks exhausted and so weak but there is a glow on her face that I have never seen before. She is so happy, I am happy for her but I don't know how she is going to cope with a newborn and another baby that is only just turning one next month. I hope she knows that if she ever needs help then Cheryl and I are only a phone call away because the first few months with a newborn is the most difficult thing in the world so i can't even imagine what it will be like with three more children needing her attention every five minutes. "Have you thought of any names for her yet?"
"Yeah, I thought I'd call her Sarah"
"Really?" I gasp with the same look of disbelief on my face as Cheryl's and even though she is tired and her whole body aches Whitney manages to laugh.
"Of course not" She continues to laugh at Sarah's face and once the baby stirs, I pass her back to Whitney. "I don't have any first names picked out, but I do have a middle name. I was so convinced that she was going to be a boy ,I can't believe that I have another daughter. Lilly is going to be over the moon. Can you bring her here later on? Joey and Junie, too? I want them to meet their baby sister" She asks. I nod and Whitney looks down at the baby grizzling in her arms. "Your brothers and sisters are going to love you, yes they are! And Mummy is so sorry for everything but I promise you that from now on I am going to be the best Mummy that I can be"
*
Cheryl went home to have a little nap before bringing the children to the hospital to meet their new little sister and Whitney did not want to be left here alone so i said that i would stay with her but since everyone left she has been a bag of emotions. I think it has finally dawned on her that she now has four children and it has hit her like a tone of bricks. "What's up? Is everything okay?" The nurse who has been in and out of the private room asks when Whitney turns onto one side and wipes more tears off her face.
"I've just had a baby, i'm shattered and my whole body hurts, what do you think?" Whitney snaps back at her and i inwardly cringe because the woman has been nothing but nice all day and she is only trying to help her so she does not deserve to be snapped at like that.
"Why don't i take the baby with me while you get some rest, it will be no problem" The nurse offers, ignoring Whitney's snappiness and Whitney does not bother to turn around when she answers her with more tears streaming down her face.
"No, leave her here. She is fine with my friend." She tells her abruptly and i mouth an apology on her behalf when the nurse leaves the room. She is right though, she is fine with me. I have been looking over her while Whitney has had a little sleep but she has only slept for about 10 minutes in the space of 2 hours because she wakes up at every little noise and then she is sighing, crying and complaining. When the nurse has gone i stand up and sit on the edge of Whitney's bed.
"I was like this when i had Paisley, you know. I couldn't stop crying for 2 weeks straight" I chuckle, trying to make her feel a bit better and she smiles and wipes at her face again.
"Yeah? Well you were lucky. I've cried every day since Joey was born and he's 10 months now. All i want is five minutes sleep but every time i start drifting off i wake up for one reason or another and that woman keeps prodding and poking me every 5 minutes. I know she means well and she is just trying to do her job but i can't be bothered with it"
I sigh. "I know but be nice to her, yeah? She's really lovely.. i wish i had a nice midwife like her when i had my girls. Both of mine were right witches" I laugh and Whitney does too. She turns so her back is leaning against the pillows i have propped up behind her and she is smiling again when she looks over at her sleeping baby. She nodded off in my arms about half an hour ago as i hummed nursery rhymes to her and thankfully she did not wake up when i placed her back in the cot beside Whitney's bed.
When there is a knock on the door i hope to God that it is not the nurse back again because Whitney will bite her head off. I am relieved and Whitney is too when we hear Sarah's voice and Cheryl pops her head around the door. "We're back and we have some very special visitors" She smiles and Whitney pulls herself up so she is sat up straight. She quickly wipes her face so nobody will know that she has been crying and tells Cheryl to come in along with the small army of children that she has brought with her. Cheryl is here with Sarah, Nadine, all of Whitney's children and our own girls who run to me as soon as they see me sitting in the little chair beside Whitney's bed.
"Mummy, i still didn't get my teddy back" Paisley whines, ignoring Whitney and the baby and with my help she climbs onto my knee.
"It's fine, we'll get it later" I promise her, hoping that she will drop it for now and thankfully she does.
"Do you want to meet your little sister?" Whitney asks Junie and Lilly who are stood sheepishly by the door. I can tell by Cheryl's face that at least one of them has been giving her grief since she got back and i suddenly feel bad for leaving her with all of the children alone- sure she had Sarah and Nadine but i am assuming that after the night Sarah had she would have wanted to have a good sleep and Nadine is about as much use as a chocolate teapot in the morning. Alaina does not care much about seeing the new baby either, she is more interested in trying to climb onto my other knee so Paisley is not getting more attention than she is. To the disappointment of both of my girls i have to put them both down for a minute so i can take the baby out of the cot and pass her to Whitney so she can introduce her to her big brothers and sister but once i am sat back down i lift my own children back onto my knee.
"Oh, look, Lils! She's waking up" Cheryl coos when the unnamed baby's eyes open and her face twists. Lilly runs over to her mum now and climbs onto the bed.
"Is she my sister too?" Paisley asks me and the silly question makes Nadine and Sarah chuckle.
"No, babe. You already have a little sister-"
"But i don't want her. I want a baby sister" She whines and Alaina pushes her which results in a push back until i put my arm between them and force them to stop.
"Stop fighting, now! Whitney has just had a baby and the last thing she wants or needs is you two fighting and whinging"
"But Alaina started it! She pushed me first"
"Well you shouldn't have been so horrible to her then. Be a good girl, Paisley" I tell her and she sighs and folds her arms across her chest.
Junie is still reluctant to go over to Whitney but he is stood by her feet now and that is only because Sarah practically dragged him over to her. "Why is she so wrinkly?" He asks with a disgusted look on his face.
Lilly glares at him with annoyance and sighs. "She is wrinkly because she has been in Mum's tummy. Aint that right, mum?"
"Yeah" Whitney nods and looks at Cheryl for an answer as to why Junie is being so standoffish. She did not expect him to be jumping for joy at the news that he got a sister instead of a brother but she didn't think that he would be like this. I think that Junie is just a bit jealous and who can blame him? It must be difficult being the oldest child of so many siblings. "Can you pass me Joey?" Whitney now asks and Cheryl sits him on Lilly's knee so she can hold onto him. He looks massive all of a sudden and Alaina looks even bigger. Although Junie could not care less about his new sister Lilly absolutely adores her already. She is carefully running her hand over her hair and she is beaming with pride when her little hand clasps around her finger.
"She likes me, Mum ,look!"
"Course she does, you're her big sister, aint you?"
"I'll be the best big sister ever" Lilly smiles and leans down to kiss the baby's forehead. Sarah and Nadine have gone to get some teas from the canteen and they have taken Alaina with them but Paisley will not leave my side.
"So have you given her name any more thought?" Cheryl asks and Whitney grins. She said that she was going to announce the name she picked when the kids are here and i can't wait to hear what she has chosen.
"I've chosen Elise. Her name is Elise Libby Jackson"
Junie giggles. "Elise is a horrible name. It reminds me of horrible Elise Walker at school and i hate her!" He says and Whitney glares at the oldest of her brood.
Cheryl glares at him too but he doesn't care he just smirks and puts his hands in his pockets. "No it is not a horrible name. It is a lovely name and it suits your little sister nicely. How about you sit down there on that chair and you can hold her. Is that okay, Whit?" She looks at Whitney for approval and she happily hands Elise to Cheryl. As soon as Junie is sat down Cheryl carefully places her in his arms and as soon as he is holding her his whole attitude changes like i thought that it would. There is even a smile on his face now but he is trying his hardest to hide it. "I'm your biggest and bestest brother" He tells her and Cheryl and i smile at the touching scene in front of us.
Of course the special moment between Junie and Elise does not last long as the novelty soon wears off so as soon as Sarah is back in the room she has Elise in her arms. It is still so surreal knowing that Sarah was the one to deliver this new, little bundle of joy. I don't think that Sarah can quite believe that it happened either but she is over the shock of what happened early this morning and she is besotted with the baby in her arms. "Come over here and see how beautiful she is. She is one of the most beautiful little things i have ever seen in my life, she's like a doll" She says to Nadine who thought we were joking when we told her what her girlfriend had done this morning.
"Oi!" Cheryl exclaims and Sarah's head turns quickly to look at her with Alaina sat on her hip.
"I said one of!" She chuckles and Nadine is full of emotion like Cheryl was when she met the new baby. Whitney has finally given into her tiredness, as soon as Sarah lifted the baby from her arms she turned her head to one side, closed her eyes and fell asleep with Lilly tucked up at her side. I am surprised that she is able to sleep through all of this noise. Not only are our friends loud as well as the kids but this ward is the nosiest in the hospital due to all of the babies crying and if you listen carefully you can hear the screams of mothers in labour. I am not surprised that she has finally fallen asleep though, If she feels anything like i did when i had just gave birth she will feel like her body is battered and bruised, it has been a struggle for her to just keep her eyes open so she better make good use of this time before she leaves the hospital and has to put up with months of sleepless nights.
"You still asleep, Whitney?" Sarah asks while leaning over her.
"Shhh! Of course she's still asleep, what do you think she's doing? Pretending to be sleeping beauty?" Cheryl hisses and pushes our best friend's arm.
Whitney's eyes slowly open and surprisingly she smiles. It is not like Whitney to show her children much affection but when she puts her arm around Lilly and cuddles her i can see how happy Lilly is by the glowing smile on her face. "Is she alright?" Whitney asks, craning her neck to see her baby and Nadine nods her head.
"Do you want her back?" She asks but Whitney refuses.
"Keep her for a bit longer. She screams every time she's put down so at least when she's in your arms i can have a bit of a break from her" Whitney tells Nadine but Nadine doesn't answer she just raises the child up and kisses her soft forehead.
Watching Sarah and Nadine gush over the baby makes me melt because one day this will be them with their own child. They have discussed having children many times over the years and they have agreed that one day they will have one or two but that it is not the right time for them right now. They are still enjoying their lives without the baggage that children bring. I think that one day they will have their own little mini mes but for now they are happy with little Bruno back at home and since Cheryl and i will be caring for Whitney's children while Whitney is in hospital Sarah and Nadine can get plenty of practice for the day that they finally have a child of their own because i don't think that Cheryl and i will be able to cope with all five kids on our own and maybe the practice of having all of the kids together will put my best friend's off the idea of having children of their own for good.
*
"Stop being silly and eat your food before it gets cold" Cheryl orders all of the children. With Whitney still in hospital Cheryl and i are left with her children and we will have them until the doctors deem Whitney and her baby well enough to send home. As Elise was born so early they are wanting to keep her in for a couple of days to keep an eye on her and so we promised Whitney that we would take care of her older kids until she is discharged and i am starting to regret being so nice but there was no other option than to take responsibility for them because Whitney has nobody else to look after them so they have nowhere else to go. At this moment in time i am envious of Sarah and Nadine who have gone out to a chinese meal together. Nadine thought that Sarah could do with a little treat so she surprised her with a bit of quality time together, some nice food in a brand new restaurant and some peace and quiet. I wish i was with them instead of being sat here because the kids are terrorising my life.
Aware of the scene that he is causing in the clubhouse we are having our evening meal at Junie giggles and flicks a pea at Lilly who throws not just one but a hand full back at him. Most of them hit her chosen target but one lands on a woman that is sat at the table beside us. Fortunately for all of us, the woman did not notice but i am still mortified and Cheryl looks absolutely fuming because Junie and Lilly have been terrible since we brought them back from the hospital.
"Stop it right now" Cheryl hisses, leaning onto the table. "Now is not the time or the place for a food fight-"
"But Paisley threw her peas and Mr Khan at school. That was so funny!" Lilly laughs loudly and Paisley starts to giggle too which just annoys Cheryl even more. Normally she is the laid back one out of the two of us but she is sick to her back teeth of the kids misbehaving today because Junie has been horrendous and the rest of the kids have copied his behaviour and now it is like a competition as to who can get the biggest reaction from us and i am not sure who is winning.
"Nothing is funny about being naughty. If you don't all eat all of your food up without acting silly then i will call someone over here to put it in the bin" I tell them and Lilly shrugs her shoulders.
"I don't care, i want to go and dance anyway-"
"Me too" Alaina copies and pushes her plate away from her but i push it back in front of her and put her fork back in her hand. She is not happy with me in the slightest but there is no way that i am going to let her get away with what i am letting Whitney's kids get away with.
When i start chatting to Cheryl again and Junie thinks that nobody is listening he leans towards Lilly and tries to whisper into her ear. "I dare you to spill your drink over that lady over there... the one with the horrible jumper on" I am glad that he is not so good at whispering and i can hear every word of his little plan so i can put a stop to it before Lilly can even think about following through with her brother's dare.
Once i have gave them yet another telling off that neither one of them listened to i sigh in defeat and give up trying to get any of them to follow my instructions. "Go and dance, all of you. I can't be bothered anymore" I instruct them and knowing that he has got his own way Junie has a cheeky grin on his face as he jumps off his chair and barges his way towards the dance floor and thankfully the other children follow him.
When they are out of earshot Cheryl drops down her knife and fork and pushes her curled hair from her face. "I can't eat, Kimberley. They've put us right off me steak. I'm really not hungry now, i'm too worried about what they're going to do next" She says and glances at the children who seem like they are dominating the dance floor with their boisterousness and Paisley is twirling around so much that she will be dizzy soon and will be falling all over the place.
"Don't let them get to you. They'll be alright once they have burnt off a bit of energy, or at least i hope so. They're winding Paisley up something rotten though and i'm sick of it"
Cheryl shakes her head. "I know that you said that those two could be baby satans but i thought you were just exaggerating"
"Baby satans?" I burst out laughing. I have no recollection of saying anything of the sort and now Cheryl is laughing too while she leans back in her chair. "I don't think i went as far as calling them that, did i?"
"Okay, maybe i'm the one exaggerating" She smiles. "That's what they are though, arent they? Especially Junie- i've never seen this side of him before and it's proper shocked us"
"Well lets just hope that he doesn't start effing and blinding again because if he does i'm taking them all back to the chalet and i mean it this time, i'm not having them embarrass me anymore than they already have, not with this place jam packed with people staring at us 24/7. It's times like this that i wish that we were completely anonymous" I tell her and she nods her head in agreement. Since everyone found out that this is where Cheryl is spending the weekend she has been giving people countless amounts of autographs and taking picture after picture with people because she is too nice to say no and Junie almost knocked over one of her fans because he didn't care to look where he was going when he was running around. Our main problem with Junie and Lilly acting themselves is that they are dragging Paisley into their shenanigans and even Alaina has been copying their awful behaviour but if i catch either of them using language as disgusting as their friends i will take Junie and Lilly back to the hospital where Whitney is and i will leave them there.
Before this afternoon Cheryl had been taken in by the children. I told her that they lead Whitney a dog's life but she would not believe me as whenever she has been around the kids they have been on their best behaviour. I do the majority of the school runs as Cheryl works a lot so i see how they behave for their poor mum and it is no wonder that Whitney turns to drink to cope because i probably would too if i was in her shoes. Cheryl was adamant that sweet little Lilly with a face like an angel would never set a foot wrong but now she has witnessed first hand how challenging she can be but as terrible as Lilly is at times she could never live up to her brother's standers, he is a different kettle of fish all together.
"I am dreading the next couple of days. I don't know how long i'll be able to put up with them without losing me temper" Cheryl laughs but i know that she is not joking. She rarely ever raises her voice at our kids but she already has twice this afternoon but even then Junie and Lilly did not seem fazed and that is probably because all their mother does is shout and scream.
"I'll get Whit to have a word with them when she rings in the morning-"
"No you won't!" Cheryl exclaims. "I'm not having her think that we cannit cope"
"She wouldn't th-"
"You're not telling her, alright?"
"Alright!" I laugh throwing my hands in the air in submission.
After a couple glasses of wine Cheryl finally stopped her panicking and Sarah and Nadine are back now and are chatting about their future. The kids are still playing apart from Alaina. After complaining that she was tired Cheryl rocked her to sleep like she did to baby Joey and once Alaina finally nodded off Cheryl lay her down on the chair beside her and now sits stroking her back because she keeps becoming restless. The other kids are still at large but Paisley is starting to look tired too. She has made a new friend, a little blonde girl who she has spent more time playing with than Junie and Lilly. I turn back to the discussion my friends are having and watch how Nadine smiles lovingly at her girlfriend and then rests her hand on her knee.
"Whitney popping out that baby has really made me broody. I was the same when Laney was born" Nadine says while pushing Alaina's hair out of her face with her other hand. She has always been a fantastic auntie and the girls love her and one day i know that she is going to make a great mother.
"She didn't just pop out, i'll tell you that but i wish she bleedin' did... i reckon that if we have a baby we'll have a boy"
"And how do you reckon that? Are you a fortune teller as well as a midwife now?" Cheryl jokes which makes us all laugh while Sarah playfully rolls her eyes.
"I just have a feeling, thats all, just like you had a feeling that Laney was a girl. Wouldn't it be nice for the girls to have another little cousin to play with?" Sarah is getting carried away and as broody as Nadine is she does not look too amused. She is raising her eyebrow at her but Sarah just keeps talking about their future child with excitement. "If we do have a boy we're calling him Peter"
Nadine almost chokes on her drink. Instead of swallowing it she spits it out and i almost die with laughter at the mortified look on her face and Cheryl is laughing with amusement too because we are both getting the impression that this has not been discussed.
"Peter? What do you mean 'Peter'? I'm not calling my child Peter, you can forget that! Where did that even come from?"
"Peter Kay. You know he's my favourite comedian of all time"
"Oh fuck off" Nadine waves her hand at her girlfriend and Paisley comes skipping over to us.
"What do you want, me little angel?" Cheryl smiles happily and pulls Paisley onto her knee.
"I'm tired and the girl i was playing with has gone home with her Mummy. I don't want to play with Lilly and Junie, they keep being naughty and they keep swearing"
"Well you sit here with us and tell everyone about your birthday party" Cheryl tells her and at the mention of her birthday party Paisley beams with pride. It is her birthday in a weeks time and she is beyond excited for the birthday party that has been planned to a T over the past couple of months.
"You haven't forgotten about my party have you Auntie Nadine and Sarah? Are you both still going to come?"
"Of course we will both be there, we wouldn't miss it for the world! There is no way that we could have forgotten about it, your Mam has made sure that everyone and their grannies know that it is going to the party of the century" Sarah laughs and Paisley does too so she ruffles her hair. "You're going to be 6, eh? Where does the time go?"
"i'm a big girl now, aren't i?"
"You are" Sarah smiles once again.
"It's scary though, isn't it?" Cheryl says and she looks at our eldest daughter who is growing up far too quickly for our liking and Paisley snuggles into Cheryl because she knows how emotional she can get. "Even though you're me biggest girl you still like a nice cuddle off your mam, don't you?"
"Always" Paisley grins and tilts her head back so Cheryl can kiss her face. "What were you like when you were 6?"
"I was naughty! Your nana Joan used to call us Minnie the Minx" Cheryl stops talking when Paisley starts to giggle and she finds it hard to stop.
"Why did she call you that?"
"Because your uncle Garry used to have hundred of comics called Beanos and there was a girl in them called Minnie the Minx that was friends with Dennis the Menace and she was really really naughty"
"Like you?"
"Like me" Cheryl laughs and kisses Paisley's head again. "I wish i could be six years old again. It must be nice not to have a care in the world"
"Me too. It would be great, wouldn't it?" I add to the conversation and Sarah is staring into space thinking about her own childhood.
"When i was six i drank my first can of cider. I remember my aunt-"
"Oh don't take rubbish!" Nadine ends her story there and i am glad that she did because i think that Sarah has forgotten who she is talking to. Paisley is laughing a proper belly laugh like she is having the time of her life and she probably is. She loves sitting with us grown ups and having proper little chats. It makes her feel grown up too and i remember doing the same with my mum and aunts when i was her age. The conversations i witnessed sitting around my favourite Aunt's kitchen table were far more boring than the ones that Paisley partakes in and that is because half of the things that come out of my friend's mouths are not suitable for her little ears. "When i was six, i had a lovely doll called Polly Dolly and i would take her everywhere with me. We even had matching outfits and a big, pink pram that i would push her around in" Nadine reminisces. "Do you remember it, Chez? I think i showed you it before... it has curly, blonde hair and it was a birthday present off my dad. I have it in the loft for when i have a daughter of my own one day"
"Do you think my dad will get me a birthday present?" Paisley asks much to the shock of all of us. Sarah and Nadine look at us, they don't know what to say and inwardly i am cursing myself for ever having a conversation with Paisley about her dad. Although she has not mentioned him again until now i wish that we were more straight to the point with her in order to wipe him from her mind completely. When nobody answers her Paisley keeps talking. "Did you know that my dad doesn't live here anymore but i did see him at my school the other day"
Cheryl turns Paisley's head so she is looking in her eyes and she furrows her eyebrows. "Pai, we have talked about this, remember? It wasn't him. I thought you understood that?" Paisley shrugs her shoulders and looks at the wellies on her feet. Her silence is irritating Cheryl who can not handle conversations like this at all so she taps Paisley's knee. "Paisley will you answer me?"
"You never asked me a question" She replies cheekily and i decide to step in.
"Listen to me and listen to me carefully. That wasn't your dad. You need to get that into your head otherwise you're going to be very disappointed"
"What do you mean?" She frowns back at me with her head dropped to one side.
"It means that he isn't ever coming back, alright?" I blurt out without thinking and Cheryl is glaring at me and so are my two friends who look shocked by my bluntness but it is good for her to know the truth because dancing about the subject the other night clearly did not do her any good.
"Not ever?"
"No, not ever" I tell her and Cheryl is shaking her head in disagreeance with the way i have went about the situation but this is how it has to be handled from now on. There is no point giving her false hope. "I thought you didn't want to see him?"
"I really don't but Junie said that he will be at my party because that's what dad's do. Junie said that if he had a party his dad would go"
"Somehow i very much doubt that" Cheryl mumbles and gets up with Paisley on her hip.
"Where are we going?" Paisley asks when Cheryl starts to walk away from the table.
"Well i need a very large drink and i think that you could do with an ice cream"