(A/N: chapters from here on out will be in third person POV.)
**
Pep looked left and right before finally resting her head on her folded arms that rested on top of her oak desk. She felt drained, she never expected the turn of events. Tash was currently sitting in her usual room waiting on her client to come and start their session. Pep was experiencing levels of stress that she wasn't accustomed to and she didn't know how to cope with it. Tash was getting hooked on cocaine so she tried to limit the amount of coke she had stashed around the place.
The only thing easing her mind right now was the fact that she switched the appointment schedule and someone else will be getting Tash's client. Pep expected her to barge in here soon enough complaining that she's not making any money even though Pep regularly questions where she went wrong in giving her everything she wanted, she showered her with financial freedom; wasn't that enough?
"Taaaiiidaaaan." Pep smiled when she heard the door crack open and Tash's soft voice echoed through the cool dimly lit room.
"Ma chérie." Pep raised her head from its spot on her arm to greet Tash.
"I'm so sad." Tash pouted while walking over to Pep's desk.
"Why?" Pep pushed herself back to allow Tash to sit on her lap while she wrapped her arms around her torso to keep her close.
"I'm not making any money. My client didn't come." Tash squished her cheek against Pep's forehead.
"I'm so sorry." Even though Pep was the furthest thing from sorry.
"Is it that I'm not attractive anymore?" Tash expressed from the deepest part of her soul, she had been wanting to ask the question for some time now; afraid that maybe Pep would feel the same way and leave her.
Pep immediately felt bad but it wasn't enough for her to feel sorry for canceling and rescheduling her appointments. She didn't want her woman to be selling sex when she didn't need to. Pep had other girls who were willing and able, so she was more than happy to take Tash off the lineup.
Tash was and still is the most beautiful woman she's laid eyes on and Pep had experienced the finest. It had more to do with her beauty that radiated from the inside than physical attributes even though she was still greatly beautiful in that aspect as well. Her soft fine eyes stirred something in Pep that she'd never experienced before, they looked at her in a way she only thought her mother could. Tash seemingly loved Pep despite all of her cynical faults and that made Pep want to give the world and the stars to the young woman sitting on her lap. Pep was still wary, thinking that maybe one day Tash would see the real her and money wouldn't be able to keep her around anymore.
"No, no. Have you ever heard of Edgar Allen Poe?" Pep kissed the scar that rested on the bottom of her chin, she knew she was the one who inflicted any scar that littered her sweet melanin; so she might as well love them.
Tash shook her head while Pep smiled a lovestruck smile. Pep didn't know where she fell for the short, expressive young woman but she didn't have a fault with it.
"It was many and many a year ago
In a kingdom by the sea
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me."
Pep started to recite the beautiful words of Edgar Allen Poe as if she had written it specifically for the woman currently sitting on her lap, Tash is her Annabel Lee and she wouldn't have it any other way. Tash felt her breath hitch in her throat, it wasn't a new feeling; she was completely smitten by the likes of Pep, she was beyond the point of return and she wasn't hoping for a reason to go back.
"I was a child and she was a child
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love
I and my Annabel Lee"
Pep's words were soft and lulling as if trying to distract Tash from her current personal woes, and without a doubt, the charms were working. All Tash could think of was to make sweet love to Pep while she whispered sweet words into her ear with her hand around her throat and her fingers deep inside of her, so deep she could feel it shuffle her stomach around.
Tash had forgotten all about her self doubt, her seemingly rational question of lost admiration. She was admired widely for her androgynous beauty and she knew that she was always requested.
All Tash ever wanted was to love and be loved, all she ever wanted was to be wanted. Her mother's love was natural but she yearned for something more, she yearned for something deep. It was all or nothing for her, she loved with the ferocity and the intensity of an active volcano and sometimes she felt that it was too much to ask a person to receive or to give back the kind of love and energy she exudes. She wanted desperately to believe that Pep loved her, she loved her enough to shower her with gifts and admiration but did she love her enough to put this all down one day and live a normal life with her?
Tash wants what Camille and Tye have. Cam had offered her countless times to take her away from all of this, send her back to school or maybe back home to her parents and old friends but Tash was already maddened with her love for Pep, she was already bridging insanity and she would never be able to live without her lover.
"Pep?" Tash fiddled with her lover's dreads, she loved them. "Do you ever plan on getting married?"
Pep wasn't expecting the question but she'd say anything to ease Tash's mind. "If it's to you then most definitely."
Tash hummed feeling satisfied at the response she got. She knew they couldn't get married here but the thought that Pep would make such a commitment to her made her feel at ease. Tash wouldn't dare ask Pep to put her lifestyle down to accommodate the easy-going life that she wanted but she could only hope that Pep would want to settle down with her in their house atop the hill, promise rings on their fingers and two dogs lying peacefully at their feet while they sat on the balcony looking over at the mass of trees that took up their yard space.
"You're so beautiful," Pep rested her finger under Tash's chin so that she could lift her face up to hers.
"You're so beautiful and I want to continue telling you that for the rest of my life. I know I've promised many things and went back on it but from here on out, I'm going to keep those promises to you because you deserve it but can you promise me one thing?" Pep fixed her expression so that Tash could see how serious she was and that her next statement was not up for debate.
Tash nodded, "please stop working and come back home to me." Pep sighed for theatrics.
"I was really hurt by the statement you made. I thought I was more than just one of your girls." Tash was an emotional mess, nothing and everything brought tears to her eyes.
"I know and I'm really, really sorry. There will never be a repeat of that and I can promise you that. I was jealous and it was an impulsive thing to say. You're my top girl, my only girl, my number one priority." Pep placed random kisses all over Tash's face.
Tash smiled broadly while softly chuckling and enjoying the attention her lover gave to her, this was why she couldn't leave; this and also the fact that she didn't want to.
"I'll stop. I'm not doing much here anyways. It's like no one is excited to hear Kashmoney anymore." The word tasted foreign on her lips but it was still her self acclaimed alias.
Pep burst out laughing because little did she know that she was actually still a hot commodity and her clients missed her, they even requested a welcome back party but Pep threw a tantrum because she didn't want all of that attention on her Tash.
"I'm still excited to hear, Tash, Kash, Tasheka. I'm excited to hear any fucking thing you wanna call yourself, as long as you remember to call yourself mine." Pep's words seemed to surprise even herself. Tash's heart skipped several beats, her cheeks felt inflamed and her lungs were about to explode.
"I'm yours." Tash cooed.
"Nobody else's." Pep softly gripped at her throat pulling her in for a heated makeout session.
"I never really asked you this but will you be my girlfriend? My partner in life? My everything? You're already mine but I want you to feel as if you have a choice." Pep's Cheshire pus grin lit up her face and caused Tash to laugh out.
"Of course, I could never say no to a smile like that." Tash kissed Pep's nose.
"I love you, I hope you know that." Pep's soft profession of her love caught Tash off guard but it's something she has wanted to hear her confess out loud since their last fight a month ago.
"I love you. I've been loving you quietly hoping that you loved me too." Pep wiped Tash's tears away knowing that she cried for almost everything and it made her want to protect her kind heart from the world and maybe even from herself.
"Let's go home, ma chérie."