Victoria
Becoming queen...
Ruling a gang, as I said to Rio before, isn't what I want. All I want is him. But being the queen to his king; is that part of what it takes to be by his side?
~
Gently, my back is laid across my silky bedsheets. My heart flutters, wildly, when I flutter my eyes up to take in the gangster's hovering frame that towers over me. I'm not held down by his strong hands this time, no, for this moment either of his hands are placed on my waist - my hands free and grasping onto his tattooed arms.
His skin is intensely hot under my fingertips, his dark brown irises ardent and piercing into my own above me - before I watch his gaze trail down my body beneath him. I feel the hardness of his chest press against me, carefully, his breathing low as he keeps his composure.
With my heart hammering, skin throbbing, his statement replays in my mind once again. And the thought of becoming this queen he suggested I become; causes my stomach to turn. What if continuing this session is a way of saying yes to him? Do I want that?!
Hurriedly, I place my hand on his warm chest, gesturing for him to stop. The gangster meets my gaze - his dark brown irises flicking up to fixate onto mine.
I briefly lick my lips, my breathing rapid. "I know what this means. If we...if I keep this up that'll sum up my answer. And I don't know if I'm ready for that answer, yet." I breathe. I keep my gaze on either of Rio's chocolate brown irises, clouded with desire, as he searches my own intently.
"So you don't know what you want..." He states, rather questions. I do know what I want...but I also acknowledge what I don't.
Before my lips can part, the gangster dismisses his towering frame from above me, and he gets off my bed to come to a firm stand on his own two feet. I hurriedly prop myself up and keep my longing irises on his own. Standing in his black t-shirt and in his jeans, Rio folds his hands, his jaw now clenched as he vestures a mere impatient glance.
I swing my feet around the edge of the bed, sitting upright as the gangster stands feet away. I run a hand through my slightly disheveled hair. "I do know, Rio. And I already told you that leading a gang isn't what I-"
"Right, right." The gangster interjects, rather abruptly. "You say you know but you don't. I mean you want me, but not the kingdom." He says, his tone laced with venom. "Sorry darlin' but the kingdom comes with me." His face vaguely softens - earning for my heart to skip a beat.
The gangster licks his lips deliberately, never peeling from my gaze. His dark eyes glint with vexation. "It's all up to you. Take it or leave it." He shrugs in his t-shirt - his hardened jaw still clenched.
I take in a sharp breath, and come to a stand in front of him. His tall frame lingers three feet away. A humorless laugh escapes my lips. "That's a little unfair, isn't it? Since when do you get to pressure me into making the decision? I'm not asking for a package, Rio. Just you!" I raise my voice.
Frustration swells within me, my pulse racing by the second. Firmly, aggravated, I fold my arms across my chest.
"Do you know the leap I'd be taking if I decided to give you the answer that you want?!" I ask, and instantly the gangster's brows narrow in my direction. I harshly rub my hands across my face, a sigh escaping when I take a step closer towards him.
"I want to be with you but-"
"Nah, no 'but's' sweetheart." Rio interjects yet again, shaking his head in refusal. "I don't leave without the kingdom, I don't leave without my boy's. Not to mention, I have been waiting."
"What? You can't just, I don't know, be with me and be with them at the same time?!" Instantly, I mentally face palm myself for how wrong that sounded. I shrug it off. "You're killing me, Rio." I run both of my hands through my hair in aggravation. "This is ridiculous."
In turn, the gangster sounds a humorless chuckle, his brows raised in surprise. "Ridiculous? What's ridiculous is your decision making. I mean, c'mon, how does a person take days to make up their final choice on a dilemma?" He questions, a brow perched as he plasters a pout.
"Really? This is more than a decision. This-"
"This is what?" Rio interrupts - and in a smooth movement he makes it near me, inches from my heated face, and I gather the detail of his observant irises.
"What is this?" The gangster adds on, his tone challenging and low.
All I know is that I'm caught off guard from his dangerous proximity now, and I blink repeatedly.
"I- I don't know!" I pipe in annoyance, never released by his serious, penetrating gaze.
I watch his full lips quirk upward, before a laugh escapes him. "See, like I said, again with the decision making." He points, taking a step back - his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.
I lowly grunt in irritation, aggressively dropping either of my arms back to my side - my fists forming clenched balls.
"No, that was not another decision, Rio." I say through gritted teeth. I lift a hand to point an accusing finger at his taller frame, and I take a step closer to him to prove a point.
Furious, I glare into either of his dark brown irises - a smug grin still playing about on his full lips. "You don't get to put this all on me. As a matter of fact, I am finally making my decision. Here's just what you wanted, Rio. I'm giving you my answer." I spit, my hand dropping and claiming it's territory on my side again.
Rio watches me intently, though his eyes pierce me with anger, too, as he waits. His tongue sweeps briefly across his full lips, the lips that twitch, as his hands are still folded.
The space now enclosed between us from my steps of fury, I look straight into either of his lulling, and longing, irises.
"I don't want this. I don't wanna put my life on the line for you, not for this big a risk..." I state, firmly, catching his structured features softening a moment - and in turn something shifts within me; but I keep pushing.
I don't peel from his latching gaze. "My answer is no. No to everything that changes. No to being the queen and ruling the kingdom with you. No to any of it. I'm sorry, Rio." I add lastly - barely audible. The gangster searches my brown eyes, without words, my wild heart pounding uncontrollably.
I... I think I hurt him. I did, I hurt him.
My eyes vaguely widen, and panic begins to fill me. But my answer; I meant it. I want him, not the package - not the kingdom.
I glance between either of his dark irises that narrow with pain, disappointment. Rio's jaw hardens, clenched like I've never seen before as his eyes stab me with instant guilt.
"Right." He begins, and licks his lips within a sliver of a second. "OK. I got that noted, Victoria." He states lowly.
I catch the sight of him taking in a low breath as he watches me. Deliberately, the gangster shakes his head, his hardened jawline still set. "I have no idea what I saw in you." He claims, huskily.
And I've never felt more taken aback, nor have I ever felt the pain that just blossomed within me. Not even with Jack.
Instantly, embarrassment fills me when I feel my own face soften.
I watch Rio purse his full lips, beginning to walk backwards in his steps as heads toward my bedroom door. He keeps his eyes on me. "Yeah, just remembered why I don't put love first." He says lowly, disappointingly, before turning around in his tracks and his back is the last view I gather of him, before he disappears behind my bedroom door.
Love....
My lips part, and I'm glued to the wooden floor. I'm unmoving all over again, just like the time he was in my foyer and I couldn't step away, months ago, as he drew nearer and nearer. When my heart first began to hammer passionately for him.
Now he's gone.
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Lots of love,
xx