Mom calls my Aunt and agrees that she will drive us to the airport. She also sold the car to her, since we won't be needing it anymore. The whole ride is awfully quiet, until Mom spoke up.
"Who was that guy you were talking to?" She spoke in a suggestive manner, nudging me lightly on the shoulder. I smile, a sad one. Mom asks again. "You like him, don't you?"
"His name is Choi Soobin. We've been classmates for almost three year now. He's my friend." I say, looking out the window to hide my teary eyes. My voice cracks. "And yes, I do like him."
From the reflection on the mirror, I saw her frown. The guilt on her face is visible. "Oh, sweetie... Do you... Are sure you want to go? We could cancel the flight, you know?"
"No, Mom." I use my palms to wipe the tears escaping down my cheeks. "I won't give up our life— our better life in Paris for some guy. I'd still choose your comfort over his."
Mom envelops her arms around me. I can smell her rose perfume. "But he's not just some guy, is he?"
He most definitely is not. Ever since we became close, he's done a lot to make me smile, more than anyone in the world could. He does it subtly, like trading my stupid sandwich so I could taste some real food. And sometimes, he'd show it extravagantly, like the crown ring. He's always been there for me when I needed him the most. He helped me through the ups and downs of my rollercoaster life, and what do I do in return? I lie to his face and leave without an explanation. I'm a horrible person.
Soon enough we reach the airport, just in time for our flight. This is my first time going out of the country and I can't believe I'm really going to see a plane up close. The multiple processes and inspections makes me nervous though, I don't know why. Before going inside the plane, I fish out my phone and type one last message.
Goodbye, Soobin. I love you.
Sent
He's probably asleep by now. Well, I don't blame him. It's three o'clock in the morning. I set my phone on airplane mode and put it back inside my pocket. I had the seat beside the window, at least this is one thing that made my day less terrible. I've always wondered how it is flying. The captain speaks through the speaker, announcing that we'll be taking off in a few minutes.
I look outside the window. That's strange. I look closer. A group of people are fighting below. The airport security versus some guy in a lavender hoodie. I think they're trying to keep him from getting through.
What the— Soobin? How did he get here so fast? Why is he even here?
Quickly, I stand up to go to him. Mom calls out to me but I ignore her. One of the flight stewardesses tries to guide me back to my seat, but I push past through her. The airplane doors haven't been closed yet, so I run to get through. Before it's all too late. I can feel my heart, which is about to burst out of my chest, loudly beating. Every step down the stairs matches the thump of my heart.
"Soobin!" I shout, but my voice is still drowned out by the airplane's engine noises. I move closer to him. "How did you even find—"
He meet my eyes and a successful smile forms across his face. He squirms through from the guards' grasp and runs to me. He wraps his arms around my waist and my shoulder, closing the gap between us. He kisses the top of my head. This honestly takes me by surprise, but that doesn't mean I don't miss it. He sobs. "I don't want to lose you. Stay, please stay."
He pulls away, making me face him. His eyes are bloodshot and still filling up with tears. His lips forms to a sad pout. "Tell me, did I do something wrong? Did I do or say something that upset you? Please, tell me why you're leaving..."
"Why didn't you even tell me?" He sobs. I open my mouth to say something— tell him I take it back; I'll never leave him again, I'll stay with him— but no words come out. Seeing him crying and begging for me to remain... It breaks me to see him like this. He cups both sides of my face, and he leans in... closer and closer and....
"Water?" He whispers.
"What?" I look at him, confused. I pull back. "What are you talking about?"
"Water? Miss, would you like some water?"
Everything disperse into nothingness and I wake up in cold sweat, gasping for air. I'm inside the airplane, thousands of feet above the sky, and I realise that I always have been. I quickly peek out of my window and Soobin is nowhere to be found. Just an endless sea of clouds. My eyes lingered at the moon. Huh, so this is what it looks like flying in the night. Dark and lonely.
I turn to the flight stewardess, who is apologising profusely. She bows her head at me a couple of times. "I'm so sorry ! I didn't realise you were asleep."
I shake my head, calming her down. "No, no. It's alright. Actually, I'd like to get a glass of water, please."
I look outside the window, as the lady sets the glass of my table and leaves. Mom places her hand over mine, making the tears stream out of my eyes. I shut them to stop the tears, but it only produces a sob. I feel Mom's arms around me, but they're not coming from someone I'm going to miss. So much for a restart, this whole thing is a nightmare.