YAY FINALLY AN UPDATE!! STUPID SCHOOL HAS PREVENTED ME FROM UPDATING ALL OF MY STORIES AND I DECIDED TO UPDATE THIS ONE FIRST WOOO
I feel like this chapter will turn out unexpected for some reason idk sometimes I plan what I want to write but then I quickly think of something else ??
ALSO ASHTON WEARING GLASSES AGAIN IS MAKING ME PEE IM SCREAMINWW FUCKING CUTIE YESSS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO WEAR GLASSES AGAIN HALLELUJAH PRAISE JESUS AMEN
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"She said, "Boy can I tell you a terrible thing?
It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks.
Please, don't be sad now, I really believe,
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
~ Terrible Things by Mayday Parade
(This song makes me actually cry, like full on sobbing and I just omg u guys are probably worried now because I picked this song ooo don't be scared this chapter isn't too bad I just wanted to use the song)
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Ashton's POV
"Where the fuck have you been?"
Maybe I should've listened to Luke and just borrowed his clothes for the night. But I felt so damn guilty I had to go back home to find something.
Home. This wasn't my home anymore. Luke was my home. Not...this.
My drunken uncle was standing right in front of me, cornering me so my back was to my bedroom door. His breath almost made me gag and he definitely hasn't shaved since I last saw him.
"I-I was at a u-um...friend's house." The word 'friend' tasted bitter as it rolled off my tongue, because Luke was so much more to me than that.
"Since when did you have friends? Or was it your boyfriend? Fucking f-" The rest of his words were so drunkenly slurred that I couldn't understand him, but I understood what point he was trying to make. I backed away even more as he inched closer to me, and oh god this was probably going to end up like the times before I met Luke.
But something hot coursed through my veins, this disgusting human being in front of me just made me feel so damn angry and sad and worthless all at the same time and I was so sick of it. How dare he even try to talk about me and Luke like that? Tears were welling up in my eyes but my anger was stronger for once, all I could see was red and nothing was processing in my brain correctly and I couldn't breathe I was suffocating I was-
I punched him.
My knuckles hurt like hell as they made contact with my uncle's face but nothing mattered anymore, the adrenaline pulled me in so far deep that I had forgotten the fact that I've never fought back before.
I was fighting back.
My uncle stumbled backward, clearly shocked as his hand cradled were I punched his face.
He looked pissed.
And my heart began to beat so loudly that it was the only thing I could hear as my uncle came back towards me, shaking in fury as his fist raised. This hasn't happened before, I've never hurt him and I had no idea what I was doing.
He was towering over me and he was about to hit me, I could practically feel his fist already connecting with my face.
Just like old times.
But at the same time he hit me, I stuck my leg out and forcefully tripped him, and I finally felt the pain from his punch on my cheek as my uncle fell to the floor, a framed picture falling with him and breaking with a shatter.
"Fuck fuck fucking shit." I gasped as tears fell freely down my cheeks, a hand flying to my mouth as I processed what I had just done.
It so happened that he had hit his head on the frame on the wall as he fell, since the hallway was narrow. And fuck my uncle showed no signs of getting up from the floor and giving me what I deserve and I thought that I would be triumphant, that knocking out the disgusting man would be a dream but I was shaking and I saw the impact of the pointed frame had left an open wound on his head and blood was pouring out of it and my stomach was churning and I was going to be sick-
I hastily stepped over my uncle's limp body and pieces of broken glass, practically ripping the bathroom door open as I was already gagging and sweating. I took one last shaky breath before I hopelessly emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl, choking and sputtering.
My previous adrenaline was long gone as I curled up into a ball on the cold bathroom floor, choked up with tears and a sore throat. I didn't mean for everything to end up like this. Like shit. I should've just let my uncle have at me, but I fought back and now he's probably going to die from losing so much blood, I'll be sent to jail for man slaughter and oh fuck fuck fuck I would call the ambulance but we had no money to pay for the hospital bills and I had no idea how any of that shit worked and I haven't felt so lonely and sad for so long and god I just wanted to-
I wanted to die.
I wanted my blade again.
I wanted to feel something besides hurt and fear.
But I couldn't, I couldn't I couldn't because Luke would be so disappointed if I relapsed and I don't want him to have to worry about me.
Instead of reaching for the razor in the cabinet, I reached for my phone in my pocket and quickly tapped on Luke's contact.
After two rings, he picked up.
"Hi babe, what's up?" Luke voice was sweet and calming to me and he sounded happy, and I knew I was about to ruin that.
"L-Lukey I-" I choked out, everything came flooded back to me; the tears began forming in my eyes again as my stomach ached and churned.
"Ashton? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Luke kept blurting out questions and I heard him rustling around on the other end of the phone, this situation was all to familiar and it was so fucking sad that this was just a thing, Luke fussing over my pathetic life and saving me from my problems.
"I-I need you. Please." I needed him so fucking bad and I felt terrible for always needing him like I need air to breathe.
"Shit I'll be there as soon as I can just stay where you are don't do anything don't harm yourself I'm-" Luke took a breath, and I could hear background noises and I knew he was sprinting all the way here and I felt guilty as hell for making him do this.
"F-fucking hell Luke I'm so sorry for making you do all this for me I'm sorry-" As if a hand was around my neck physically choking me, the tears and just being upset prevented the sentence to be finished as I pitifully laid on the cold tile floor.
Luke hushed me through the phone, "Stop thinking like that, I'm doing this because I love you and I fucking care about you so much and I'm almost there you'll be okay, god Ashton I-" Luke sounded really upset at this point and I was feeling more and more guilty and stupid by the second.
"I love you Lukey, I'm sorry I just feel really, really guilty." My voice wavered and I was shaking again and I needed Luke now. I was on the verge of doing something I'll regret, my eyes kept traveling to the cabinet where my razor was hidden and my hand was sweaty as I held the phone to my ear.
"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for, baby." Luke gently reassured me. A few minutes later Luke suddenly rushed out, "I'm at your door now but it's locked. Could you open it for me?"
I found myself eagerly nodding even though he couldn't see me, and I hauled myself up as fast as I could and avoided the broken glass and my uncle, who still wasn't awake and it was becoming alarming. I would check on him but Luke was more important.
So I ran down the hall and opened the front door.
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Luke's POV
The door immediately swung open, and I drank in Ashton's unusually pale skin, he looked so tired and a bit on the sick side. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and shit he still looked gorgeous with his disheveled hair and slightly lopsided glasses.
At the sight of me, Ashton burst into tears.
"L-Luke you actually came here for me and you haven't c-complained yet-" Ashton breathed in between his sobs as I enveloped the shaking boy into a tight hug after I closed the door behind me. I had no idea what was actually going on, but I didn't have the heart to ask questions yet.
"Of course I came here, silly. I love you and I'd do anything for you." Ashton cried into my shoulder,
"I love you and god I don't deserve you Luke." I rubbed his back to help Ashton calm down some more, and I took the opportunity to press a kiss to the top of his head.
"Ashton, you deserve me. Hell, you deserve more than me. I can't give you all the things you deserve." Ashton sniffled, looking up at me.
"I don't want anything, I just want you." I smiled, biting my lip as I stroked his cheek with my thumb.
"And you have me, sweetheart." Ashton blushed at the cheesy comment, smiling widely. We were definitely one of those annoyingly cheesy couples that everyone hated.
Suddenly, Ashton's face drained.
"Fuck, my uncle he-he's still there I'm so stupid he's going to fucking die because of me oh god we have to- we have to do something!" Ashton tugged me by the arm, and I was confused until he brought me into the hallway.
"Ashton, what fucking happened?" My mouth was open in shock as I looked down at his uncle's body on the floor, blood and broken glass everywhere.
The hand that was on my arm began to tremble as his bottom lip quivered,
"Fuck I don't know I just he was going to hurt me and this time I fought back and I didn't mean to hurt him that much I was only defending myself and he is a fucking jackass but I won't be able to live with myself if I know he died because of me and we have to make sure he lives we have too-" I shushed him, bringing Ashton into my chest again.
"Hey, hey, hey it's okay I'm sure he'll live it's not too bad, and we can wrap his head in a bandage so it doesn't bleed anymore and I'll clean up the glass, you're fine I promise." I murmured softly, my lips touching Ashton's temple.
"O-okay." Ashton breathed, and I smiled as he calmed down again.
"Just make sure he has a pulse while I clean up the floor, okay?" Ashton nodded, leaning down and grabbing his uncle's wrist while I looked around for some sort of broom to sweep up the glass.
Thankfully, I found one in the small kitchen that branched off from the main hallway we were in.
"H-his heart is still beating, but it's really faint." Ashton breathed, looking tired and defeated. He looked up at me as I sighed, sweeping up the glass and throwing it away.
Ashton was still looking at me as I finally crouched down next to him after I put the broom back. It was in a lost puppy kind of way, and I could tell that he actually cared about his uncle even though they have a terrible relationship.
"I know what you're thinking," he whispered, biting his lip anxiously. "He's the only family I have, Luke, even though he's a piece of shit I still can't help but care just a little bit." I frowned, feeling kind of hurt that Ashton thought he didn't have anyone besides his uncle, he had me.
"But you have me, too." I chewed on my lip, looking back at Ashton sadly. He smiled, to my surprise, and crawled over towards me and nuzzled his face into my neck.
"I know, Lukey. And I'm so happy to have you." My cheeks warmed a bit as Ashton cuddled up to my side, and I wrapped an arm around him. We stayed there for a few moments, until I looked back over at his uncle on the floor, pretty much lifeless.
"Hey, um - maybe we should help out your uncle now, huh?" Ashton's eyes widened as he looked around frantically, getting up from the floor,
"Fuck, you distracted me!" He teased, running into the bathroom to presumably find some sort of bandages.
Once he came back, he ushered me over with a wave of his hand.
"I want to somehow bring him to his bedroom, do you think we could lift him?" Ashton bit his lip, looking up at me.
"Yeah." I puffed out my chest, smirking as I added in a deep voice, "Look at these muscles! I could carry him without you." Ashton rolled his eyes, giggling as he replied,
"Well, if you insist." I momentarily faltered as I looked back down at his uncle, I didn't think he'd actually take me seriously. Jesus, he looked kinda heavy and if I can't lift him by myself then Ashton will have the pleasure of laughing at me and exclaiming about how I did in fact need help, and I didn't want that.
I chuckled awkwardly and leaned down, digging my arms under the man's back to lift him off the floor. Ashton watched me in amusement as I struggled to hide that I couldn't get him off the ground.
"Help?" I finally pouted, and Ashton just smiled slightly and decided not to tease me.
Ashton lifted his uncle's legs while I got the upper body, and we almost dropped him a couple times, but we made it and set the man down on the mattress.
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After we cleaned up the wound on Ashton's uncle's head and wrapped it up, Ashton took some clothes with him and we left to go back to my place.
"Do you think he'll be okay?" Ashton asked me for the fourth time, eyes wide and worried.
"He'll be fine, we stopped the bleeding. Don't worry about it." I ran my fingers through Ashton's hair soothingly as we cuddled on my bed, Ashton sitting in between my legs and his head resting on my chest.
"Can I kiss you?" Ashton blurted out, looking up at me timidly through his eyelashes. I smiled fondly at the boy.
"You don't have to ask." He blushed, hesitantly pulling me down by the front of my shirt, and I closed the gap between us when our lips weren't close enough.
Ashton suddenly cut the kiss short, breathing a bit heavily as he looked up at me with an unreadable expression.
"You taste weird." I felt my heart skip a beat. Shit, he was going to find out that I-
"What do you mean?" Ashton just pulled me down again for another kiss, and I could feel him frowning.
"Like...like-" Ashton's face immediately fell. "Like smoke?" My face paled, fuck he wasn't supposed to know. My guilty expression was all Ashton needed as conformation, what if he hated me now? "Why? Since when have you smoked?" Ashton's voice was quiet as his eyebrows furrowed sadly.
I tightened my grip on him, "I'm sorry babe I really am I just needed to take my mind off things and I just-" I sighed heavily, and Ashton looked so distraught as he turned around in my lap.
"Lukey, I - I get it but I don't want you to get addicted you could die I need you I love you please-" I hushed his distressed rambling, stroking his cheek gently with my thumb.
"Hey it's okay I promise I will never ever touch a cigarette ever again, but under one condition." Ashton looked a bit more relived as he whispered,
"What? What is it?"
"That you promise not to hurt yourself, and I know you've been trying and I appreciate that, but I just need you to promise me." Ashton's face fell a bit, but he nodded slowly.
"I promise."
Little did they both know, promises were easily broken.
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I would've updated this like two days ago but I'm lazy and I'm lucky I even updated today woW
But seriously the fact that Ashton is wearing glasses again makes me really really happy he's so adorable I crY
yeah idk what this chapter is bye ~Hannah