I was floating.
Or at least, I thought I was. My eyes fluttered as I fell in and out of consciousness. It took forever for me to realize Erik was carrying me. The moon, which wasn't quite full, shone down on Erik's blonde hair. It made me smile, but I don't think my mouth reflected that. He wasn't looking at me, but I could see how worried he appeared. His eyebrows were drawn and his lips were pursed.
It was so dark.
Then, I was out again.
~~
I'm not sure how much time passed. The next time my eyes opened, I was laying in my bed. I couldn't move my arms as much as I tried. My curtains were shut, but that didn't stop the sun rays from spilling into the room. My eyes fluttered shut again. It was too much effort to keep them open.
Then, I heard a noise. It sounded faint, like in the distance. Slowly, the sound grew louder and louder. It was footsteps, and they were coming up the stairs. I strained harder, wanting desperately to open my eyes. They didn't budge and I fell back asleep.
This time, I dreamt. It was the first time in weeks that I actually dreamed. It wasn't some weird vision or in a different time. It was a normal dream. I was so thankful I didn't realize what I was dreaming until I was fully submerged.
In the dream, I'm back in my bedroom. Except now, it's dark and I'm not alone. Daniel is with me. He's shutting the door behind me, grinning coyly at me. My heart skips a beat at the sight of him. I have missed him so much. His flock of dark hair is longer than I remembered, falling past his ears in soft curls.
"Daniel," I breathe out. "I missed you," I confess. My feet glide forward, without warning I wrap my arms around him. He reciprocates and then his arms are around me, holding me close. I feel his heartbeat against mine. He smells just like I remember: dark and musky.
He chuckles low.
"We just saw each other in class," his voice is like a song. "But I missed you too." He jokes with me. I pull away, raising an eyebrow at him. I'm already shaking my head by the time he finishes.
"No, you weren't. Daniel, you left. I went to your house and you weren't there." I'm not embarrassed to admit this. It's Daniel he'll understand. He knows what we are. He knows what he means to me. He knows everything about me, even that I am a Witch. He will understand. As I continue to look into his chocolate covered eyes, I know he feels the same way about me.
"I never really left, Cornelia, you know that." He pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. It's the comfort I need and yearn for. This isn't real, I try to tell myself. This is a dream. You need to wake up.
Except, I don't want to leave this dream. In this world, Daniel didn't leave me. We're still dating and he knows I am a Witch and I know he is Cursed. In this version, we don't break up. I hug him again, nearly squeezing him.
"What's wrong?" He asks after I don't let go. I feel the tears fall down my cheeks, soaking into Daniel's t-shirt. I don't want to leave, but I know I have to. This isn't real. Eventually, I pull away, looking up at Daniel one last time.
"This isn't real." My words sound like water droplets and the dream ripples until it's completely gone.
~~
I smell lavender and I know I'm back to reality.
Gran.
She's close by.
I can't open my eyes, but I feel her next to me. She's sitting in a chair next to my bed. I hear her sigh, then she takes my hand in hers.
"Little Bird, you need to wake up. You have too much to do, to live for." I want to scream, tell her I am trying to wake up, but I can't even do that. I am utterly useless. I picture her in my mind, full of sadness.
Gran is silent for a long time. I almost think she left, but I still feel the warmth of her hand.
"You need to know, that if I had known you were going to be apart of Cleanse, I would have warned you against it." This piqued my interest. The Cleanse? It starts to roll back to me. I remember the circle of crystals and the black cloaks. But what is Gran talking about?
I force my mind to go back to what happened. It hurts, but I press my mind to go there. Then, slowly it starts to come back. Suddenly, I hear their worried cries as the memory of the pain hits harder than I expect. It's nauseating. How did a simple cleansing go so badly wrong? The last thing I remember was the pain. The pain was so much it caused me to pass out.
Right, didn't I pass out?
There's something blocking my memory of what happened after everything went dark. I don't fight it, it hurts too much to press on. I focus on Gran. I know she's talking, but it falls short. My eyelids feel so heavy. I give in and let them take me to dreamland.
~~
"You're back, good I'm glad." His soft words hit my eardrums and it makes me smile. The corners of my mouth hurt after awhile. I try to relax against Daniel, but my body is full of knots. I can't fully relax. I know I'm going to be sucked back to reality, where Daniel is gone and I am too weak to open my eyes. Honestly, I don't want to go back there.
I am tired and not just physically.
I'm tired of pretending like everything is okay. I'm tired of taking quizzes and walking down the crowded hallways. I'm tired of living without Daniel. I'm tired of not seeing how we turn out. Even in dreamland, I'm tired, but in a different way. I ache in more than one way for him.
It's a relief to know that in dreamland Daniel misses me. Except, it's a reminder that I don't know what Daniel is really thinking in reality. Does he miss me? Does he have a new girlfriend? I try to swallow, but the lump in my throat won't let me. There is something about Daniel that drives me up the wall with nerves.
Except here.
Here, I feel like I have known Daniel my whole life. He is apart of me in a way that I can't fully describe, here or reality. Daniel is every bit of a mystery as he ever was. I flashback to the first time I met Daniel. It was in that odd shop of the occult. I hadn't known it then, but it was a front to pretend to not know about Witches and the Supernatural. I wish the real Daniel were here so I could ask him if he knew I was a Witch when we first met.
I hadn't even known I was a Witch then. Looking back at it now, I feel foolish. What if Daniel had known I was a Witch just by looking at me? Did that even matter? No, it didn't because I knew what I felt deep inside me. There was a certain longing for Daniel that I had never felt. He was my first love.
I hope it doesn't end here.
My mind races back and forth between reality and this dream world. Then, I realize I never responded back to dreamland Daniel. He doesn't seem to really notice, which reminds me again that I am in dreamland. The Daniel here is much more patient and I am thankful for that. It doesn't ruin the fantasy, it only enhances it.
"Y-yeah." I stutter. "Why am I back here?" Usually, dreams were random and you didn't have any control over them. This, seeing Daniel again, felt almost rehearsed. Once again, I had no idea what was going on. Daniel looked the same as he did before, which also didn't make sense.
He raises an eyebrow, walking towards me. His eyes never leave mine. I hold very still as he reaches for me. As his skin touches mine, there is that familiar electric jolt. I haven't felt that in so long, I didn't realize how much I missed it. His fingers trail up my arm, never stopping. My breathing increases as those sun-kissed fingers wander over my body.
"You're here for the same reason I am here." His voice is like velvet, intoxicatingly smooth. I want to drown in it. His lips brush against my neck. I almost forget what he is. Almost. As he opens his mouth, which is still firmly on my neck, goosebumps cover my body. I am fiercely aware of the direction things are moving in.
"D-daniel," my voice shakes as I feel his teeth carefully graze against my soft flesh. Is he going to bite me? I don't even know if he has fangs. I don't know anything about that part of his life. All I know is what is happening right now feels like I might find out. I open my mouth to tell him to slow down, but it's too late. Instead, I cry out as the pain fills me.
His teeth slice into the nape of my neck. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, almost too tightly. His lips move in a motion that mirrors a kiss, but it's not a kiss. He's drinking my blood. My mind buzzes, trying to piece it all together. How did I let this happen? My heart beats faster and faster until I am seconds away from passing out.
My vision blurs and then it fades to black.
~~
I am back to reality. The only reason I know this is because I hear Dara ranting. There is no way I would ever dream about Dara. Her voice brings me back to the real world and I am thankful, but only for a moment. She's sitting in a chair next to my bed. I hear the wood scrap against the floor, rocking back and forth. I picture her sitting there with a blank expression, staring at her nails, probably picking at her cuticles.
"Are you seriously not going to wake up? It's been four days." Unlike Gran, Dara sounds annoyed. It's as if I am inconveniencing her by being in a coma. Coma? Am I in a coma? That would explain an awful lot.
"Mom's a nervous wreck, running around re-cleaning things." She sighs as if she really cares. "And Gran, she hasn't said anything." This is the most I have heard Dara talk in a long time. "Your friends are constantly here like they can do anything." Her tone is flippant. I hated how much I wanted her to talk about Daniel.
I was pathetic.
"I don't know what you were doing out in the woods with all of them, but I know it has something to do with--
She's cut off by her phone buzzing. I can sense her hesitance, but she answers it anyway. I lay as still as I can, which isn't very hard considering my body feels like cement. My throat is severely dry, which normally would bug me.
"What?" She answers her voice with malice. There's a brief pause, and I vaguely hear a muffled reply.
"No, of course not." I am eager, attempting desperately to hear what is on the other end of that phone call. All I can decipher is that it is a male voice. There is another pause.
"You know I would never--
She sighs, obviously cut off.
"Vayne--
Again, she is cut off, but she gives me a name. Vayne. The monstrous senior that in my opinion, is preying on my sister's youth. He is God only knows how much older than her and obviously targeting her because of her age and how naive she is.
I swear I hear the word "Witch" but I don't trust myself. After all, I had been hallucinating that Daniel was in Salem again and the whole biting me thing. I cringe, just thinking about him biting me. Even though I hated Vayne, I couldn't rely on my senses for this one.
"I can't leave, I have to stay with Cornelia." Another pause after she says this. "She's in a coma." The way she says this gives the illusion that she cares. Dara had always been cold towards me. It had been like that even when we were kids. I'm not sure why she's always had this hatred towards me.
"I know," her words amp up towards annoyed. I recognize that tone, it means she's gearing up to explode. "As I said, she's in a coma she's not dead yet." My blood runs cold.
Yet?
What was she plotting? I know she hates me, but does she hate me enough to kill me? I will my body to stay as still as possible, but of course, it chooses now to move. My right leg jerks, a muscle spasm I have no control over. I hold my breath, waiting for her to notice. If she does, she doesn't say anything.
"I have to go Vayne, I'll see you later." She doesn't wait for a response and hangs up. Maybe she isn't as controlled by Vayne as I thought. She doesn't leave, instead, I feel her inches away from my face. It takes everything I have in me to keep my position.
"If you value your life, you won't ask me about the conversation I just had." Great, she knows I'm conscious. I don't say anything or make any indication I hear her. "Good, you're finally listening to me." Before I can even get the thought out, I drift back to sleep. It's as if Daniel is calling me back and instantly I am there.
~~~
It's hard to tell which is real anymore. I keep going back and forth between reality and dreamland. I try to hold onto the fact that Daniel isn't here, so if I see him it has to be a dream. Except, everything feels real. These dreams are torturing me. The hard part is that I want to see Daniel. I miss him terribly.
The last time I saw him, he was biting me. However, this seems insignificant the second I see him. Those dark curls and the boyish grin are back. His smile steals my heart, and I can tell he knows his effect on me. I try to take a deep breath, but something gurgles. I look down and see my clothes are covered in blood.
Blood?
Blood.
It's coming from my neck. I grab my neck, in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. It doesn't hurt until I realize I am bleeding. Then, the pain is almost too much. I start to panic, almost slipping on the puddle of blood at my feet.
"Daniel, help me!" A muffled scream bubbles from my lips. Slowly, he walks over to me. His eyes are thirsty and his eyes iris is completely red. The closer he got, the harder my heart beat. I feel the sweat beads form on my forehead.
"Do you think it's true that if you die in a dream, you die in real life?" He smirks at me, revealing a set of long and angled lateral incisors. I gulp. I don't like this version of Daniel. He creeps forward, like a lion stalking prey. During all of this, the blood never subsides. My vision starts to blur around the edges.
"W-what?" I stammer.
"I guess we're about to find out anyways," his eyes are wide with excitement. I take a step back, but he's too fast. He grabs me, removing my hands from my neck. "It's a shame to let all your blood go to waste, but it was the only way to make you see." I gasp at the force he is using with his grip. I wince in pain, looking around my room for an escape.
I try to rip away, but it's no use. He is too strong. I spot my door, my only real escape. Except, I know there's no way I can escape. So, I have to go with option two.
"What do you mean?" I attempt to sound curious. "What do you want me to see?" I kept reminding myself that this was not Daniel.
He releases his ironclad on my wrist, but he moves in between me and the door.
"You have a choice to make, Cornelia Ann Moreau." I go to ask him what he means by that, but he interrupts me. "You can stay with me and I can make the bleeding stop. I can make sure you'll never hurt again. We can be together: forever." I take in a deep breath. I didn't want to spend another second here, little lone forever.
"Or?" I press lightly. His eyes darken, a garnet color that sickens me.
This isn't really Daniel.
It's getting harder to convince myself this. I can't deny that there is a part of me that sees Daniel as this person. How else would I have conjured this dream up?
"Or, you can go back to Salem." He shrugs. "Think about it, Corn, we could finally be together. Think of how great we can be." He exclaims. I can't think about it because it's too painful. Even if this was a real option, which I'm sure it's not, I could never choose Daniel over everyone else. I would miss my friends and family too much.
"I choose--
"Think about it for a while." He cuts me off, then pushes me backward. I wait to feel the impact of the ground as I fall, but I don't. Instead, I open my eyes for the first time in what feels like years. Slowly, I crack them open. There's a decent amount of eye crusties that I go to wipe away. My arm moves like molasses and it feels like it's asleep.
I'm in my room, that much I know. I rub my eyes, then look around my room. I'm shocked when I see a familiar face. It's Erik, my brain tells me slower than usual. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see my reflection in a hanging mirror. Erik notices my panic and leans towards me.
"It's okay," he ushers. "Don't freak out, you should still be resting." He tells me, but I can't rip my eyes away from the gaunt figure staring back at me. The circles under my eyes are black and my skin is paler than usual. My hair is seriously messed up, pointing in every which way. My lips are chapped, I can tell from several feet away.
"I-I--
My voice doesn't sound like mine. I don't continue to speak, wondering what happened to me. Why do I look so bad and why can't I talk? I look up at Erik, panicking internally.
"Ssh, you shouldn't talk either." He puts his hand over mine. I search for an explanation in his grey eyes. "Um, shoot." He looks around the room, searching for something. "Do you think you could hold a pencil." He asked me. I start to nod, then remember how slow my hand was to do a simple task.
"N-no." I try to talk again, then give up. Not only do I not sound like myself, but it hurts to speak. My throat is terribly dry. I try to remember the last time I spoke, but I don't even know what today is.
"Okay, well blink once for no and twice for yes." He clears his throat.
I blink twice.
"Do you know who I am?" Again, I blink twice. He looks relieved. "Do you know who you are?" I roll my eyes, then blink twice. He chuckles. "It's good to see you still have your sense of humor." I feel myself raise an eyebrow. "Do you remember what happened?" I think about this, then blink once. I remember going to Daniel's house, but he wasn't there. I know I talked to his mom, but I don't recall what happened. He sighs.
"Do you want to know?" I blink twice. Then he tells me. He tells me about the dreams and hallucinations I was having and how Ivelyn and Kate orchestrated a Cleansing Ritual. He told me we all were there and that everything was a success. Except, the cleaning smoke turned against me. They weren't really sure what happened and as he was telling me, I faintly remember rainbow smoke.
But that didn't make any sense right? Rainbow smoke wasn't a real thing.
He told me I was screaming and then I passed out. He carried me home, where they tried to get help from Gran and my mom. Except, they didn't know what happened. Apparently, they even took me to the hospital, hoping human doctors would know. They didn't.
All anyone knew was that I was in a coma.
That had been ten days ago.
"Don't worry, Kate is still looking for an explanation to what happened." He says this like it will calm me down. I'm already calm. I trust them and I know they didn't do this to me on purpose.
I want to talk, but I start to feel tired again. Erik notices this.
"Do you want me to go, let you rest?" Normally, that would have been fine. I don't want him to go. I don't want to be alone. Most of all, I don't want to be alone with Daniel. I hear him calling me back to dreamland. I reach for Erik's hand. I blink once.
"Okay, I can stay." I blink twice, making sure he knows I want him to stay. He relaxes against the chair next to my bed. Daniel calls again, this time louder. I feel tears coming, but I don't want to cry in front of Erik. I see he brought his black notebook. It's the one with his poetry and short stories. He catches me staring. "Do you want me to read to you?" Instantly, I blink twice.
He opens it to a random page and clears his throat. I pat the empty space on my bed next to me, gesturing for him to sit next to me. He raises an eyebrow at me. I pat it again. His face fills with confusion, but he moves forward regardless, sitting next to me in bed. He sits on top of the covers.
"Is this okay?" His voice reminds me of a waterfall. I can't really explain it, but it could be my sleepiness taking effect. All I know is that Erik makes me feel safe. I know I can trust him. Instead of talking or blinking, I rest my head against his arm. After a moment, he realizes that was my response, and starts reading.
"Dewy dipped in darkness,
my wings flap aimlessly in the inky indigo sky.
The stars smile up at the pale moon.
We are all bathed in the murky sin of night.
My eyes sharp and clear even in the murkiness of twilight..."
His voice lulls me to sleep easily. Unfortunately, that means I'm back with Daniel. I open my eyes, once again I take in the familiar surrounding of my room. Daniel is staring out the window, the sun rays hitting his face, making him look even more sun-kissed. I'm envious. I gaze down at my own skin, which is borderline albino.
He turns towards me, his eyes blazing red. They intensify as he walks towards me. I'm afraid, but I do my best to not show it. I know he wants me to be afraid. I bite the inside my mouth, teeth nuzzling against the soft flesh of my cheeks. It hurts, but I make no indication I am wincing on the inside.
I even dare to take a step towards him. It's a small step, but I manage it without falter. I know this dance, I am growing more and more accustomed to it the more time I spend here. In this world, time moves differently. He reaches out his hand, taking mine in his. It's a simple gesture, but one I feel he's done before. I can't picture Daniel doing this in any of my memories of Salem, but there is something nudging me. It's like deja vu.
"Did you make your decision?" His lips curl around his words. He knows the answer and he doesn't like it. I swallow, feeling the lump in my throat bob up and down. I almost reach for my throat, noticing I am no longer bleeding.
"Yes," I pick up the courage I need. "I can't stay here Daniel and you know it." His eyes twitch. Then, thankfully, the red fades. His eyes churn in the familiar chocolate color. I could drown in those eyes. Even if they are currently glaring at me. "I need to go back to my family and friends." I wait for him to say something, try to fight me on this.
It's silent for too long. I stir, itchy with tension.
"Daniel, you have to let me go." I finally tell him. He's staring at the ground, hands shoved into ironed pockets. My words stung, even as I was saying them I realized it was the same advice Addie had given me. I did need to move on. Daniel left me -- not the other way around. Maybe this dreamland I had conjured up was all a big lesson. I needed to figure out a way to leave Daniel and to move on.
"I understand, I don't want to, but I do. I can't keep you here, that's selfish." He squeezes my hand, then gently tugs me closer. I let him pull me into an embrace. We hold each other for a couple of minutes. I pull away first and take a good look at him. This is the way I want to remember him.
I sigh and move towards my bedroom door.
"I'll see you later, Daniel." As I open the door I see my bedroom. There's that deja vu feeling again.
"You will, we always find each other." His words were like the wind. I took a step forward. Everything blurred and I saw myself lying in bed. It was nighttime and Erik was gone. I looked so peaceful but dangerously pale and gaunt. I continued to move forward. It was so bizarre to see myself like this. Then, with a whirl and a push, I was back inside my body.
I gasp, jerking upright.
What the Hell?