Power Over Me - Dermot Kennedy || "Everything I hold dear resides in those eyes. You've got that power over me. The only one I know, the only one on my mind"
Baku POV.
Ochaco loved me.. she really loved me. Those words remained in my head all weekend and carried into Monday. As I sat in class I had the biggest smile on my face.
The way her face smiled that morning when she realized I bought her coffee was something I wanted to see over and over again. She clearly thought I left her which was heart breaking to think about. I never want to be the reason she's upset ever again especially when she makes so much of an effort to make me happy.
Looking down at my meticulous notes I let my mind wander to the thought of her smile. The way her eyes squinted when she was really happy made a smile spread on my face as I sat in my desk. God I hope no ones fucking watching me because I look like an absolute fucking loser sitting here smiling in class.
I snap my head up looking around the room. Seems like everyone's too busy taking notes or if you're Kaminari, you're asleep. My eyes wander over to Ochaco's desk as that stupid smile spreads back on my face. She was so focused on her notes she didn't even notice my glances. She was so beautiful.
The bell rang in the distance snapping me back to reality as I loaded my books into my backpack. Maybe I should ask Ochaco to sit with us at lunch? I've been trying my best to grow the fuck up and show Ochaco things would be different this time. I still wasn't totally comfortable with everyone seeing us kiss or hold hands or whatever... but I tried my best to make her feel how much I cared.
There have been so many times I wanted to tell her how I really felt but the words never seemed to want to come out... I'm such a fucking loser. Why was I so scared to just say how I felt. I've come too far to let this shit slip through my fingers.
Seeing her brown hair sway down the hall I push through the sea of shit heads in my way. I was never going to catch up to her at this rate.
"MOVE IT !" I yell as the crowd immediately parts a perfect path for me. Pfft, such fucking weaklings.
"Oi! Wait up Angel face!!" I holler down the hallway as her head turns around meeting my gaze. Ochaco's loose hairs blew back from the movement and my heart skipped from the sight of her. Standing alone in the hallways as her small frame held her books close to her chest. Fuck, why did she have to be so damn cute? As I got closer I noticed her shocked expression but I knew she enjoyed it by the rosy tint that crept across her nose and cheeks.
Before I could even get close I watched as fucking Deku walked by saying something to her. Why did that piss me off so much? I can't actually still be fucking jealous of that fucking twerp? But I want to know what he said to her without coming off.. aggressive.
"The hell was that about?" Her expression twisted as her eyebrow raised. Shit. Too aggressive. I quickly turn my gaze away from her and watch as Deku practically skips his dumbass towards icy hot and the other extras.
"Oh god, nothing just said "Hi" is all"
My gaze snaps back to hers. She looked longingly down the hallway at her group of friends leave without her. I wasn't a total dumbass, I knew her friends were scared of me so when I was around they usually kept their distance. Kinda pissed me off because I never want to take her away from her friends or whatever. I needed to change her mood because I saw a slight frown on her face.
"Wanna grab some lunch together? I think Kirishima and those losers are already down there.." I've never asked Ochaco to come to eat lunch with us. I mean shit, the only girl that ever even came to our table was Mina, and I can count on one hand how many times that's even happened. It was the ultimate display of affections and it also was showing everyone subtly. To say I was nervous though was an understatement. I felt my hands sweat in my pockets as I watched her react.
"Sure! Id love to!"
Looking down at her cute smile calmed any doubt I had in my mind. She always did that to me. I'm just glad she didn't say no because that would have been fucking embarrassing...
"I just need to go grab my lunch then I will come to meet you"
My smile felt so big as I looked down at her cute fucking face. Thank god the hallways were cleared out because I had to kiss her. I slowly leaned forward to meet her gaze double checking people weren't around as I leaned in to kiss her cheek.
"Hurry the fuck up Floaty".
She smiled nodding her head as I turned away trying to hide the blush on my face. As I looked up a bunch of first years were in my way. Fuck I hope they don't see me blushing like a moron right now.
"MOVE IT LOSERS!" I yell shoveling the small kids aside. I fucking hated the new group of hero's.
Walking into the cafeteria I see Kirishima waving like a dumbass as I walk over to sit.
"Hey Dude! What took so long!?" Sero said as I took my seat.
"I was fucking busy" I snap as I grab for a bag of chips.
"So... where's Ochaco?" Kirishima says with a stupid sing-song tone. I shovel some more chips in my mouth before responding.
"I invited her to sit with us by the way so don't fucking be gross" I middle out through a very full mouth.
"You're the one being gross" Kaminari laughed rolling his eyes. I quickly smack him in the back of the head as everyone laughed and continued with lunch.
Looking up at the clock I grew a bit worried where the fuck floaty was. I hope something bad didn't happen.
Sending my discomfort Kirishima elbowed my side while the other losers were distracted.
"Where's Ochaco?"
"I have no fucking clue.. I probably should go look.. right?"
Kirishima nods his head as I slowly push out from the table and run towards the cafeteria door. Where the fuck did she even go!?
Running through the halls I still see no one around. Everyone was at lunch and the class rooms were empty. I felt like I checked every single room before returning back down to the main floor. Looking up at the clock I saw we only had a few more minutes left of lunch and I began to feel panic a bit. This is so unlike her.
Within seconds I began hearing her laughter outside. What the fuck? Standing there for a minute waiting to hear it again. After the second time, I slowly stepped towards the front door.
Pushing it open I walk out to see Ochaco sitting out front having lunch.. alone? Pushing the door open some more and I see that green haired loser beside her! WHAT THE FUCK!
Why were they sat so close and what were they even talking about? I leaned my body closer to hear and instantly regretted it.
"I'll always love you Ochaco, I hope you know that," Deku said and I felt sparks fly in my hand. Get up Ochaco, why isn't she worried about me waiting up for her at lunch? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse Ochaco spoke up...
"I love you too Deku!"
The world silenced around me. I was beyond angry I was- I was crushed. I felt a buzzing in my ear as my stomach dropped to the ground. Did she just-
As the wind blew her hair back her face turned around seeing me standing there like a moron. My heart was completely shattered as I stood their stuck in place. I thought about running up and screaming but running away was the only thing I could do..
As my feet hit the floor I felt my hands burn. I couldn't control what I was feeling. All I knew is that I needed to get fucking home. Punching my fist into the locked I felt the crunch of the material as my imprint pressed into the metal.
As I walked up to the dorms I ignored everyone walking beside me. I couldn't even look Ochaco in the face as she called out to me at the end of the day. I didn't even want to go inside and see everyone as I walked around the building and find a spot to sit in the yard.
Leaning over I let my mind wander to how I could be so fucking stupid. This is exactly why I don't let my guard down with people.. I always get ducking hurt. I hardly know how to handle my damn emotions so when shit was bad.. I lost all control. One minute she tells me she loves me and the next she's sitting out there ditching me to sit with Deku and just casually say she loved him!? Yelling out into the nothingness I felt the sting grow in my eyes.
Gritting my teeth I fucking force the tears back as much as I can, but fail miserably as they roll down my face.
I sat out there until the sun slowly set in the distance and I knew I was nowhere near finished calming down. The sky changed to a dark pink then purple fading into the horizon as my head throbbed.
Were those two gettings back together? Is that what I walked in on? Maybe she's scared of losing her friends because I'm such a fuck up? If they got back together then I cannot handle this anymore.. Ill have to be done for good is that something I even want?
Hearing someone clear their throat I quickly turn to see weird hair... not exactly who I was hoping for...
"uh.. dude?"
"WHAT! WHAT IS IT KIRISHIMA WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW?!"
I leaned over my head between my knees as I yelled not wanting him to stay. Silence fell over the yard as I heard him sit beside me. He didn't say anything but he just let me figure it out myself. My emotions took hold again which sucked. We were coming to another end of the year and I couldn't handle this all happening again.... those two fucking losers.
"well, on the bright side, whatever your mad about now...will be over soon?"
I turned my head at him and just stared. God, he was such a shitrag sometimes. I smiled at him because he had this goofy grin on. "fuck you Kirishima" I said shaking my head as I pull my uniform shirt up to wipe my eyes.
"why am I the one who is always over -looked ?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about bro...What happened"
"I walked in on fucking Deku and Ochaco saying they loved each other dude.. THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED.."
Silence again.
Kirishima finally cleared his throat again before speaking up, "You love Ochaco dont you Bakugou.."
As my head dropped I felt like all the air was sucked out of my lungs. Is this what love feels like?