Dipper's POV
It was almost time for bed and I was in the kitchen getting something to eat. As I got my favorite snack, I hear the door close. In the hall was Stan followed by a mysterious man. Because of the way Stan spoke to him, I could tell he was just a lost person who sadly stumbled upon the Mystery Shack and now has to listen to his stories. I roll my eyes before I go upstairs to my room.
Mabel was with Waddles knitting sweaters on her bed, so I sat down on my own.
Mabel: Hey Dipper, who was at the door?
Dipper: How'd you know there was someone at the door?
Mabel: I have very a very good sense of hearing!
Dipper: *rolls his eyes* Just some late costumer.
Mabel: Uh-oh, is Stan telling him his "Tales Designed to Sell Merchandise?!?"
Dipper: Yep. Oh, that poor man must wish he never stopped by.
Mabel: I bet Stan will start with the one he calls-
Dipper and Mabel: Hands Off!
Hands Off (Third Person POV)
You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan had gone to some sort of public sale where everyone had booths with all sorts of stuff. Something called a Swap Meet?
Mabel: Swap meep, swap meet, swap meep!!! Look at all these priceless treasures!!! *goes over to some bobbleheads* Bobbly-heads!!! *moves their heads* They agree with everything I say!!!
Dipper: *puts on some big glasses* Professor glasses!!! They make me look like a genius!!! *turns and crashes into the glasses rack*
You: *snicker before taking off his glasses* I think it's better for you to see than to look this way.
Dipper: *huffs while blushing*
Stan: *at some golden watches* Look at these beauties!!! They're mob-boss quality!!! *sees the woman selling them, then turns around to you three* Alright, kids, prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal. *turns around*
You: Oh boy.
Stan: Hey, hag face, how much for the junk watches?
Old Lady: They are not for sale, not for you, Stan Pines!!! The wind whispers your name!!! *points at Stan as wind blows in his direction*
Stan: Alright, I get it, you're creepy. Anyways, less talkie more watchie. *places money on the table and takes a watch, but is stopped by the old lady grabbing his wrist roughly*
Old Lady: *as he pupils go behind her eyes* Get your hands off my watch!!!!
Stan: Ah!!! *snatches his hand away* Eesh!!! Freak show!!! *starts to walk away with us in front if him*
Mabel: Wow, someone needs to work on their social skills!!!
Stan: And their observation skills. *shows his wrist with the golden watch* Boom!!! Good job, heisting hands!!! *kisses his hands*
Dipper: Grunkle Stan, are you seriously shop lifting from a witch? That sounded like a curse!
Stan: *mimicking Dipper* "That sounded like a curse!!!" Hey, anyone wanna buy a wet blanket?!? We got a wet blanket for sale!!!
Everyone except you and Dipper: *laugh*
You: *roll your eyes* Just you wait.
The next morning, you and the twins were in the kitchen waiting for breakfast when...
Stan: *walks over holding the frying pan with with both his hands together* Alright, kiddos, breakfast time! Prepare your mouths to-! *the frying pan falls making Stan's mittens fall off revealing that he has no hands*
Waddles: *shrieks and hides under the table*
You and Mabel: AHHH!!!!!!!!
You: YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!!
Mabel: GRUNKLE STAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS?!?!?
Stan: ...so I might've gotten cursed a little, but the watch looks nice, right? *looks at the watch which now show's the witch*
Hand Witch: Foolish man, thieving hands find find wicked face!!! You must return what-
Stan: *with his mouth he puts the mitten over his watch making the witch muffle* That's better.
Dipper: *sigh* I told you, Grunkle Stan, you gotta give that watch back and apologize!
You: I agree.
Stan: *sits down* What?!? That old crone should apologize to me for denying my right to buy cheap junk!!! I don't need hands, I've got self-respect!!! *tries to get his coffee which spills all over the table, then slaps the bacon which lands on his face* Mabel, sweetie, will you make your uncle some hands?
Mabel makes him some 'hands' out of cups, forks, and of course, glitter.
Mabel: La la la, hand makeover!!!! Say hello to your new hands!!!! In quotes!
Stan: Nice work, kid! *tries to ruffle Mabel's hair but instead he gets the forks stuck on it and pulls it making her hair a mess* See?!? Hands are overrated!!!
You: *cringe*
Stan: *stands up* I'm ready to take on the day!!!
Lazy Susan: *walks by*
Stan: *lifts up his fez hat with his new hands* Ma'am.
Lazy Susan: *screams and runs away*
Stan: *waves causing a fork to stab his cheek*
Long story short, the day did NOT go well. You all ended up going to the witch's cave. As you enter...
Mabel: According to the Swap Meet pamphlet, the Hand Witch lives in a horrible Hand Watch lair, on Hand Witch Mountain!
Stan: Stop saying Hand Witch.
You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: *walk for four seconds in silence*
Mabel: *whispers* Grunkle Stan, did you just tap my shoulder?
Stan: *shines the flashlight at Mabel* Kid, I can't tap anything.
Dipper: *tenses up* Guys, can you stop tapping both my shoulders?
You: *feel something tap your shoulder* Can everyone just stop tapping shoulders?!?
You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: *hear something climbing the wall*
Stan: *points the flashlight revealing many disembodied hands covering the roof*
You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Hands: *start to jump and attack*
Stan: Hands!!! Lots of hands!!!
Mabel and Stan: *run off*
You: *fighting against them before one harshly pulls your hair* AH!!!
Dipper: (y/n)!!!! *gets tackled by hands*
Stan: *gets slapped by many hands*
Mabel: *looses a game of rock-paper-scissors* AH!!! *runs away as the hands try and catch her*
You, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan: *get captured by the hands* AHHHH!!!!!
Hand Witch: *laughs* Look at this touching scene!!! Up-top! *high fives a random hand* You guys, you guys get me!!!
Stan: Alright, you horrible wench, you got me, stealing is wrong, etc... *shakes the watch off* Take it. Now can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you.
Hands: *form a throne*
Hand Witch: *sits on the throne* Alas, you're hands cannot be gotten so easily. *takes the watch* The spirits say-... um... that the curse can only be broken by a kiss!!!
You, Dipper, and Mabel: What?!?
Stan: *sighs then stands up knocking off the hands* It's alright, kids, just look away. *steps forward and kisses the witch's hand quickly, then backs away*
Hand Witch: A kiss on the lips!!!
Stan: Psh, what?!? Forget it, I'm not kissing any of that mess!!! I don't need my hands that bad!!!
Dipper: Yeah, you're just making stuff up now!!!
Stan: Let's go, kids!
Hand Witch: No, wait, don't go!!! You're right, you're right, I was just making all the stuff up! J-just trying to get something going so I can meet people these days... *snaps her fingers making the hands holding you, Dipper, and Mabel release you, but some hands start to braid Mabel's hair*
Mabel: Ooh!
Hands: *start to braid your hair*
You: Get off me before I shop your fingers off.
Hands: *crawl away*
Dipper: So this was all just a ploy to get a date?
Hand Witch: I'm desperate, ok?!? But every time I bring someone back here without keeping their hands hostage they just run away!!!
You: Shocker.
Stan: Yeah, I mean, look at this horror show!!! It's creepy even for a cave!!!
Mabel: You just need to redecorate!!! *takes a bunch of hands and makes a candelabra* A handelabra!!!
Hand Witch: Ooh, the Hand Witch likes!!!
Mabel: Then watch me work!!! Home MAKEOVER!!!
After what felt like hours, you all finally finished redecorating. You know, for a spooky cave with disembodied hands all over, it didn't look half bad.
Mabel: Ok, time to take a look at your fantastic new cave!!!
Hands: *stop covering the Hand Witch's eyes*
Hand Witch: *gasp*
Mabel: Men will definitely tolerate you now, and I left a book of pick-up lines on the end table!!!
Hand Witch: Wow, oh my goodness, I can't believe this is the same cave, oh my goodness!!! I-I just can't find the words!!!
Stan: How about "Here's your hands back"?
Hand Witch: Oh, right! *snaps her fingers making two hands appear from her hair and slap unto Stan's face*
Hands: *start to touch Stan's face*
Stan: *gestures to his wrists*
Hands: *get in the right place*
Stan: Shaky, Scratchy, I've missed you, old rascals!!! You're alright, sister!!! *gives the witch a thumbs up*
Hand Witch: *gives Stan a thumbs up and every hand does the same* ... Will you be my boyfriend now?
Stam: Nope, never!
End of Story (Dipper's POV)
Dipper and Mabel: *laugh*
Mabel: My makeover powers had leveled up that day!!!
Dipper: I still think I should've gotten those glasses.
Voice From Behind: You would've regretted it~!
Dipper: AH-!!! *falls off the bed*
Mabel: Hi (y/n)!!!
Dipper: Where do you keep coming from?!?!?!?
You: *pout sadly* Do you not enjoy my presence...?
Dipper: !!! N-no, th-that's- that's not w-what I-!!!
You: *ruffle his hair* Chill, I'm kidding!
Dipper: *blushes softly before shooing your hand away* W-Whatever...
Mabel: How'd you enter?
You: Your window's open.
Mabel: *closes the window*
You: So what'd I miss?
Mabel: Nothing much, we're just reliving some of our old memories!
You: Like?
Dipper: The one's Stan tells to his late costumers.
Mabel: Now comes Abaconings!!!
Abaconings (Third Person POV)
You had entered the twins' bedroom since you were bored and had nothing to do. You then see Dipper holding a strange ball thing, which got you a bit confused.
You: Hey Pine Hat.
Dipper: Mm? Oh, hey (y/n)!
You: What's that thing your holding?
Dipper: It's the What-the-heck-a-hedron!
You: ... the hell?
Dipper: It's a puzzle to test your intelligence!
You: Ok...? Good luck with that. *jump and land on Dipper's bed with a yawn*
Dipper: *fails to unlock the puzzle a few times*
Mabel: *bursts open the door with Waddles as she holds a mic and a keyboard, she then jumps onto her bed* Yo yo yo, this is May-May and the Hogg coming at you on the a.m.!!!!
Waddles: *shriek*
Mabel: Whoa, not sure we can say that on the air!!! Don't touch that dial, truckers!!! Cuz the Hogg just ate it!!! *presses the airhorn keyboard three times, then the fart keyboard once*
You: *hold a laugh*
Dipper: Mabel, could you knock it off? I'm trying to solve this intelligence puzzle but it seems impossible!
Mabel: Maybe you're just not smart enough.
You: (Oh shoot .-.) ...
Dipper: ... *glares at the What-The-Heck-A-Hedron* We'll see about that.
He leaves. Mabel just continues with... whatever she was doing and you eventually fall asleep. Nightfall came, Mabel and you were deep asleep on her bed before Dipper came in. The next morning you were awaken by Dipper.
Dipper: *wakes up* Aha!!! I feel smarter already!!! The digits of pi are 3.1- uh...
Voice: 415926 etc...
You: *throw your pillow at Dipper* Hey, we're trying to sleep here. Can you talk about numbers later?
Dipper: I-I didn't say that...!
You: Eh?
Dipper: Mabel?
Mabel: *wakes up with a gasp* Guys, look!!!
Waddles: *comes riding some strange machine, then types into a computer which speaks* Greetings, friends, it is I, Waddles the pig.
You: What the hell...?!?
Mabel: Waddles, what happened to you?!? Have you been possessed by the spirit of the nerd?!?
Waddles: I understand my transformation may be vexing but I have prepared a presentation- *accidentally knocks over the computer over along with a coffee mug* Forgive me, my pig arms are cute and useless.
Dipper: *jumps off bed* The brain goop!!! You ate it and built all this, didn't you?!?
Mabel: *gets off bed and shows Waddles a kids circle game board with animals* This isn't right!!! The pig goes oink, the pig goes oink!!!!!
Waddles: Now the pig goes wherever he can shine the light of knowledge into the darkness of ignorance.
Dipper: *kneels before the finished What-The-Heck-A-Hedron* Whoa, he What-The-Heck-A-Hedron!!! How did you do that?!?
Waddles: I can teach you, Dipper, I can teach you many things! From the secrets of astrophysics to the- *sees Gompers eating the cushion Waddles used as a chair* Hey, hey!!! *oinks*
Dipper: Man, I am loving this new Waddles!!!
Mabel: *fiddling with her hair* Yeah, he's uh... ha, he's uh... definitely uh... different...
You: *walks over, gently placing a hand on Mabel's shoulder for comfort*
Waddles: *shoots nyarf bullets at Gompers making him run away*
Waddles: Sorry, (y/n), but he was about to eat my chair.
Dipper: Dude, that rocket cart is amazing!!! You and me should go invent stuff!!!
Mabel: Uh, Waddles, don't you want to stay up here and record some morning pranks with me?
Dipper: Mabel, this pig's got a gift! He needs to share it with the world!!!
Waddles: Mabel, there is more to life than making fart noises and laughing at those fart noises. I see that now.
Dipper and Waddles: *leave*
Mabel: Uh, yeah, you guys just go on without me... *sigh*
The rest of the day, Waddles and Dipper kept inventing new things. You felt bad for Mabel, she clearly missed her pig. You tried to cheer up, but nothing seemed to work.
That's when you both felt everything shake. Mabel and you exchanged a confused look before going to the outside cabin. Dipper and Waddles were there in front of a ginormous machine.
Mabel: What the heck is going here?
Waddles: Girls, you are just in time to behold our greatest achievement: the Smarticle Accelerator!
Dipper: Solving that puzzle was just the tip of the iceberg! With this Waddles will be able to solve all the greatest puzzles of the universe!!!
Waddles: *as tubes stick to his head* The origin of life, the meaning of existence, why dudes have nipples.
You: Uh...
Dipper: *turns on the machine* Soon your pig is gonna be world famous!!! Meeting with scientists, presidents, I wonder if I can each him to wear pants.
Mabel: The whole world?!? But when will you have time for us?!? I'm your best friend!!!
Waddles: I'm still your friend, Mabel, but I'm helping people now!
Mabel: But what about helping me?!? Do you really want to spend your whole life in meetings with dumb smart guys?!? This brain chunk is making you forget who you are!!! Don't you remember us...? *shows Waddles a picture of her and Waddles together*
Waddles: *thinks for a bit* It all makes sense now! What good is helping the world if I can't help my favorite person in the world? It's a good thing I built in a dumb-dumb switch! *flips a switch which causes tubes to attached to his head*
Dipper: Waddles, Waddles, don't!!!!
Waddles: *steps forward as the tubes detach from him* I'm sorry, Dipper. In my last eight seconds of consciousness I want you to know: science is a horizon to search for not a prize to hold in your hand, also I miss getting my tummy tickled. *starts to oink confused, then jumps to Mabel as she hugs him*
Dipper: *sees the machine turn off and fall* No!!! Our invention!!!
You: ... *think for a bit, then smiles* I think I know what will make you feel better. Mabel?
Mabel: *nods at you* A simple hug from a simple pig. *gives Waddles to Dipper*
Dipper: Yeah, I guess so... *looks at Waddles and smiles, then laughs as Waddles licks his cheek*
Waddles: *throws up the What-The-Heck-A-Hedron*
Dipper: *grabs it* Good pig! ...ew.
End of Story (Dipper's POV)
You: Waddles being super smart kinda freaked me out, to be honest.
Mabel: I know, it was so weird!!!
Dipper: I liked it...
Mabel: Wait, if Stan's telling the guy that story, it's because-!!!!
Waddles: *enters the room*
Mabel: *hugs Waddles* Oh, thank goodness!!! He didn't sell you!!!
You: Doesn't mean he didn't try.
Dipper: Then there's one more story, usually after that one they leave.
Mabel: You mean... Clay Day~?!?
Clay Day (Third Person POV)
You were all in the living room bored out of your minds, except for Mabel who was watching some show.
Little Girl: *tv* You did it, Shimmery Twinkleheart!!!!
Shimmery Twinkleheart: No, you did it, Cinnamon,
Mabel and Shimmery Tinkleheart: Because you believed in yourself!!!
Soos and Stan: Booo!!!
Dipper: Everything about this is bad!!!
You: Make it stop!!!
Stan: Well, that just put me ninety minutes closer to death. It's time you kids learn to watch the classics from my day!
Mabel: Ooh, old people movies!!!
You: Get ready for references we don't understand.
Mabel: And words we can't repeat!
Stan: *takes out Mabel's movie and outs in his movie*
The movie started. There was a guy dressed in some caveman outfit holding a sword and shield. Then came a cyclops. Ooh, it was a stop motion movie!!!
You saw Mabel's expression morph into a totally different one. Was she scared? The cyclops was shown roaring and Mabel ran upstairs screaming.
Dipper: Oh no, Mabel!!!
Stan: Well, your sister's broken.
Dipper: Ugh, gGrunkle Stan I should've told you before!
You: What, what's wrong?!?
Dipper: Mabel has a childhood terror of old-timey stop-motion animation! It's like her number one fear since we were kids!
Stan: Hehe, c'mon, those hokey old things? How scared could she be?
You found Mabel hiding in the closet inside a basket under many pieces of clothing.
Stan: Kid, it's just a movie! It can't hurt you!
Mabel: No talking!!! They wait for you to talk and crawl inside your mouth!!! *covers her self*
Dipper: Why did you have to show her that tape?!?
You: There's gotta be a way to get her over this!!!
Stan: *looks at the movie case* Huh...
You all take Mabel with the basket she was hiding in to a mansion. You didn't exactly know why you were here but... meh.
Stan: Alright, if we can just get the director to show her the models are fake maybe she'll finally calm down.
Soos: I don't know, dude. According to the internet, special effects genius, Harry Claymore is some kind of recluse!
Stan: Man wants his privacy, I can respect that. *throws a grappling hook tied to a rope over the gate* Well, everyone over the fence!
Once over the fence...
Stan: You see, Mabel, those monsters are just tiny clay figures moved around one frame at a time by an antisocial shut-in.
You: *cough* Animators. *cough couch*
Dipper: *opens the door* Hello? Mr. Claymore?
You, Dipper, Soos carrying Mabel, and Stan: *go inside*
Stan: We want to get a look at your figurings!
Soos: We're not paparazzi! *takes pictures of everything*
Dipper: Aha! *finds a clay ape* See, Mabel? It's all just special effects! You can come out!
Mabel: No!!!
Stan: Kid, listen to me, for the last time there is nothing here to be afraid off!
That's when you all turn around to see the clay cyclops behind you. He roars, you all scream, and Soos drops Mabel. You all start to back away. The thing tried to snatch you, but it was slow. Soos screamed "Let's escape by standing still!!!" but just as he finished the sentence, he was picked up. The he picked up Stan.
Just then, skeletons with swords and shields rose from the goop on the floor. You tried to run, but Dipper ran over the basket Mabel was hiding in causing her to roll out. One of them grabbed Mabel's head, but she managed to escaped.
You knocked a skeleton over and managed to snatch away its sword, holding them off as much as you could, but in the end you were captured too. You were all placed into a big pile of sticky clay, and no matter how much you struggled, you couldn't get out.
Dipper: How is this happening?!? What do they want?!?
???: I'm afraid they want you.
You, Dipper, Soos, and Stan: *see an old man tied up by the skeletons*
Stan: Harry Claymore, master of special effects!!! Circa-1970- something!
Harry: Alas, my effects are more special than you know.
Dipper: What?!? But how are these things real?!? What about stop-motion?!?
Harry: What, you really believe someone moves these figures one frame at a time?!? I'm not a masochist!!! I used black magic to make them animate themselves! It was great at first, but one day they discovered that computer animations were the new thing. Now that they were out of work they went mad and enslaved me!!! And now they will turn you into unholy beasts of clay to join in their mischief!!!
Soos: Well, Mr. Pines, at least you finallt get to work with your favorite director! And by work, I mean suffocate inside a big wad of clay!
Skeleton: *puts clay up until Soos mouth and nose not allowing him to breath*
You: AHHH!!!
Dipper: SOMEONE HELP US!!!!!
Stan: HELP!!!!
Mabel: *jumps down* Hey, one-eye-clops!!!! Yeah, I'm talking to you, dumb dumb!!!!! Come at me!!!! *charges at the cyclops which charges at her, then she jumps inside if it and climbs up to its shoulder, popping out* Wipe that face off your face!!! *spreads the clay all over its face* Oh, I got big plans for you!!! *converts the cyclops into Shimmery Twinkleheart* Hey, skeleton dorks!!!! IT'S CLAYBACK TIME!!!
Shimmery Twinkleheart: *steps foward and falls on top of a skeleton*
Soos: *spits off the clay from his face* Dude, you conquered your fear!!!
Shimmery Twinkleheart: That's right, because she believed in herself-!
Mabel: Jam it, Twinkleheart!!! Just start pounding those skeletons!!!
Shimmery Twinkleheart: *goes after the skeletons*
You: M, you did it!!!!
Dipper: So you're not scared anymore?!?
Mabel: *setting you all free* Oh, I'm scared twice as much now!!! But now I now it's rational!!!
Stan: Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you; you were right, stop-motion is pure evil!!!
Soos: And probably really expensive.
Harry: Incredibly expensive.
Soos: This is an impressive fight though, I'm glad I'm facing towards it!
Shimmery Twinkleheart: *wins the fight but gets destroyed in the process*
You, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Stan, and Harry: *clap and cheer*
End of Story (Dipper's POV)
Mabel: I think my fear of old-timey stop-motion movies is getting better though!
You: I doubt that.
Dipper: Hey, you think the man left yet?
You: Probably, they always leave after that story.
Mabel: Should we go find out~?!?
We exchange smirks before going down to the museum. The man was unconscious on the floor. Looks like we have a new attraction.
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
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