15. the sex talk
Thursday - Jess Glynne ft. H.E.R
"i won't wear makeup on Thursday, i'm sick of covering up, i'm tired of feeling so broken, i'm tired of falling in love, sometimes i'm shy and i'm anxious,"
***
"and Rachel spent the hour quizzing Quinn about the nature of her old relationship with Spencer," Quinn nods her head, "questions somebody still refuses to answer,"
Quinn looked at Rachel, "and i refuse to answer them, why don't you just ask Spencer, aren't you dating him?" Rachel frowned, "everything has changed after we kissed in the lima bean,"
Quinn looked at Rachel, "all i reveal is that i rejoined celibacy club to focus on me," Rachel nods her head, "me too,"
she bit onto her lip, "Spencer is kryptonite, which is why am i focusing all my energies on my songwriting and him," Ms Pillsbury smiles, "yes, and i have to say i am very inspired that both of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren't ready for intimacy,"
Ms Pillsbury looks between them, "and for those who are older and are terrified of the monster, i have a little bit club sway here that i think's really gonna catch on, ready?"
she turns the small manaquinm towards them, "chasity charms, we hand out the little hearts, but not the key," she motions towards the silver key, "that way, nobody can open the lock forever,"
Ms Pillsbury looked at them, "and ladies, that's what keeps us safe," Rachel looked at Ms Pillsbury, "i have some questions, some things that i... i'm curious about,"
"no, no, no," Ms Pillsbury shook her head, "why be curious? no, wait to have relations until you're comfortable, right?" Ms Pillsbury looks at Quinn then towards Rachel, "maybe til your honeymoon, i don't know, maybe even later!"
"celibacy!" Ms Pillsbury throws her hands onto the table, "ladies! dig it!"
***
Ms Holiday stood in front of Spencer's and Finn's health class, "demonstration," Ms Holiday holds a condom in her hands, "this is a condom, which can help prevent the spread of HIV, which can lead to aids,"
Spencer frowns, "and it also prevents teen pregnancy," Spencer nods his head, "obviously," Finn scratched the back of his neck.
Ms Holiday pulls a cucumber from behind her, "wait, cucumbers can give you aids?" Spencer slapped his twin brother's head, "no, you idiot, she's showing us how to put on a condom,"
Spencer rolled his blue eyes, "seriously? cause i just had them on my salad!" Spencer put his forehead down onto his table when Mercedes frowned at Spencer.
***
"hey Britt-Britt," Samaria looked at Brittany, as she leaned against Brittany's locker, "so listen, how about you and i pop in some sweet valley high this evening,"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows from his locker, "get our cuddle on?" Brittany looked at Samaria, "look, i'd really like to get my sweet lady-kisses on, but i haven't been feeling very sexy lately,"
Spencer frowned when he leans in, "i think i have a bun in the oven," Samaria's eyes widened, "please don't tell anyone," Brittany closed her locker.
"okay? especially Artie and Spencer," Samaria furrowed her eyebrows, "why can't i tell Spencer?" Brittany looked around when she sees Spencer now talking with Santana, "because him and Artie are best friends,"
"okay, sure.." Samaria comes towards Spencer and Santana, "your secret's safe with me.." Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "oh, my god, Brittany's pregnant,"
"what?" Spencer looked at Santana, as her eyes then widened, "oh, my god, Brittany's pregnant,"
Puck looked at them, "it was only a matter of time," Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, "for what?" Puck looked at Lauren, "for Brittany to get pregnant,"
"oh," Artie comes towards them, "congratulations," Artie looked at Lauren, as she pats his back, "for what?"
"oh, you didn't hear? your girlfriend's preggo," Artie's eyes widened, "you're gonna be a baby daddy,"
***
"all right, folks," Mr Schuester walks into the choir room, "regionals is in a week, it's time to get deep into our set list,"
Artie frowned from beside Spencer and his girlfriend, "Artie? you okay?" Artie shook his head, "my life is over, how am i supposed to support a baby?"
Artie turns to Brittany, "how could you not tell me about this?" Brittany looked at Spencer, who just raised his hands, "wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?"
"definitely," she turns to Artie, "i'm so sorry, Artie, i didn't want to upset you," Brittany shrugged her shoulders, "i thought i could surprise you when i dropped him off,"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "i'm pretty sure it's a boy," Puck looked at Brittany, "um.... babies don't get dropped off,"
"obviously you'd know.." Micaela frowned at Spencer, when he instantly covered his mouth, "oh, my god, why the hell did i just say that,"
Mr Schuester looked at Brittany, "wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet?" Brittany shook her head, "that's the only way to be sure,"
"i don't need to go to a doctor," Spencer frowned at Artie, "i just need to look outside my window, three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage,"
Spencer looked up, "i'm not stupid, it's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby," Rachel's mouth is wide open, "i know where babies come from,"
Sam shook his head with a smirk on his face when Samaria's eyes were wide staring down at Brittany.
***
"sexy," Mr Schuester turns to the new directions after underlining the word Sexy as Spencer had a buttoned up shirt with black jeans on, with a jacket over his shirt, "i really hope that's not one of the requirements for regionals,"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows at Santana who leaned against the black piano, as she wore a purple blazer with a black tank top underneath, "because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance,"
Spencer covered his mouth when Rachel turns to him, as Micaela, Sean, Mike, Brooke, Mason and Samaria smirk at their best friend, "no, this isn't about regionals,"
Finn looked at Mr Schuester, "i'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the.."
Spencer turns to Finn, who frowned at him, "the, uh.. the intricacies of adult relationships," Santana looked at Spencer with a smirk on her face, as her eyes ranked over Spencer's body, "yeah, anyways... along with preparing for our regional next week,"
Mercedes and Brittany chuckled, "i want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these... intricacies," Artie and Spencer bit onto their lips from laughing.
"is this appropriate forum for that?" Mr Schuester looked at Rachel, "look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it,"
Puck smirks, "so this week i have invited a special guest," Ms Holiday comes through the door, "Ms Holiday!"
"hola, clase," the new directions clapped their hands, "oh, no, it's the salad lady," Mercedes scratched the front of her hat, "okay, so sex..."
Spencer looked at Santana, "it's just like hugging, only wetter," Artie nods his head, "yeah, it is.." Ms Holiday looked at them, "okay, so let's start with the basics, Finn,"
she looked at Finn, "is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?" Spencer rolled his blue eyes, "i have always been dubious,"
Mr Schuester pressed down on some keys, "and Brittany," she's goes towards Brittany, "you think that storks bring babies?" Brittany smirks, "i get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons,"
Mr Schuester pressed on some deeper keys, "well, that's all gonna end right here, right now," Ms Holiday smiled, "because today, we are gonna get under the covers all together,"
Mike and Brooke looked at Spencer who just shrugged his shoulders, when he then turned back to Santana, "and get the ditty on the dirty,"
"i'm actually so turned on right now," Rachel looked at Ms Holiday, "um, what about those of us who choose to remain celibate?"
Ms Holiday looked at Rachel, when Spencer then bit onto his lip, "oh, well, i admire you," she scraps her feet along the floor, "although i think you're naive and possibly frigid,"
Spencer rubs his chest, "i do admire your choice," Spencer raised his hand, "what about if someone how found the girl, and then they broke up?"
Ms Holiday looked at Spencer, "if you're saying you haven't your virginity yet, Spencer," Spencer rubbed the back of his neck, "i don't know why though, cause you are fine ass man,"
Spencer's cheeks go red, "and if you still the love the girl you broke up with, then get back together and do the dirty," Spencer looked at Santana then towards Rachel, "but... i'm dating somebody else, i think,"
Mr Schuester stood up, "i think this is a good time for a song," Ms Holiday nods her head, "oh, yes, okay.."
"okay.." Mr Schuester chuckle when Ms Holiday looked around the new directions, "rule number one: every intimate encounter that you're ever gonna to have in your life is going to start with a touch,"
Sean, Micaela, Mason, Maisy, Mason C, Tina, Brooke and Mike all look at Spencer who just frowned, before biting onto his lip, "hit it!"
Ms Holiday grabs a red chair bringing it into the middle of the choir room, "we've been.." she held onto the top of the chair, "... here too long, tryin to get along,"
"pretending that you're oh so shy," Spencer rubbed his hands over his body, Ms Holiday points towards, Samaria, Maisy, Santana as Brittany, "i'm a natural ma'am,"
Brittany and Maisy brings chairs for Santana and Samaria, "doin' all i can," Ms Holiday flips her hair, "my temperature is runnin' high,"
Micaela touched Spencer's forehead when she quickly moved her hand away from his forehead, "cry at night," the five woman go onto their chairs, "no one in sight,"
Brittany and Samaria in the back with Maisy and Santana with Ms Holiday, "and we got so much to share," the five girls flip their hair, "talking's fine, if you got the time,"
Ms Holiday shimmed her arms, "but i ain't for the time to spare," Brittany puts her leg over the chair when the three new directions girls does the same as Ms Holiday doesn't do it, "yeah.."
"do you want to touch.." Santana opened her purple blazer up, along with Maisy when Spencer and Maisy stare at them, "yeah.."
"do you want to touch.." Ms Holiday put her hands to her chair with Brittany and Samaria, "yeah..." Spencer ripper open his buttoned up shirt, as he showed his white tank top, "do you want to touch me there?"
"where?" Santana pulls her jacket off of her arms, "do you want to touch..." they put their legs onto the chairs, "yeah.."
"do you want to touch.." Spencer nods his head, "yeah.." the five girls grind their hips upwards, "do you want to touch me there?"
they then put their legs back onto the chairs, "where?" Santana, Maisy, Brittany, Ms Holiday and Samaria put their hands to their private area, "there, yeah.."
Spencer and Sean held up their thumbs when Micaela smirk at her best friend, "yeah, oh, yeah.."
"oh, yeah.." the new directions clap their hands, "yeah, oh, yeah.." Spencer smirks at Brittany and Santana, "oh, yeah.."
Ms Holiday goes towards Artie, "every girl and boy needs a little joy," Spencer smiled at his best friend, "all you do is sit and stare,"
Santana and Brittany sat on each side of Spencer, "beggin' on my knees," Ms Holiday goes down onto her knees, "baby, won't you please, run your fingers through my hair?"
Spencer looked at Santana them towards Brittany, "my, my, my, whiskey and rye," Finn put his hand on his hand onto Brittany's leg when Brittany does it to Spencer when Spencer put his hand onto Santana's thigh.
"don't it make you feel so fine?" Ms Holiday runs her fingers through Spencer's brunette hair, "right or wrong,"
Santana stood up, going away from Spencer with the new directions girls, "don't it turn you on?" Mike stood up, when he grinds his hips as they go into a line, "can't you see we're wasting time, yeah?"
Spencer stands up, when Micaela and Sean were together, "do you want to touch.." Spencer looked at Santana, "yeah.."
"do you want to touch.." Santana comes onto Spencer when Ms Holiday comes past the towards Mr Schuester, "yeah.."
Spencer moves his hips along with Santana, as her back was pressed to his front, "do you want to touch me there?"
"where?" Santana puts her hand behind Spencer's neck, "do you want to touch.." Spencer nods his head, "yeah..."
Ms Holiday comes towards them, splitting them apart, "do you want to touch.." Mr Schuester fanned himself, "yeah.."
"do you want to touch me there?" Spencer looked at Ms Holiday, "where? there, yeah.." Brittany smirks at Mercedes and Maisy,
"yeah.." Ms Holiday looks st Rachel and Quinn, "yeah... oh, yeah..." Rachel frowns when Santana was pressed up against Spencer, "oh, yeah..."
"do ya, do ya?" the new directions nod their heads, "yeah, oh, yeah..." Santana whips her hair around, "oh, yeah.."
"do ya, do ya?" Spencer smirks, "touch me there.." Ms Holiday smiled at them, "yeah, oh, yeah.."
the new directions circle around the black piano, "you know where..." they clap their hands, "oh, yeah..."
"yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..." Spencer stood in front of Santana with Brittany in front of him, "yeah, oh, yeah.... yeah, oh, yeah..."
"oh, yeah.." Spencer turns back to Santana, "oh, yeah.." the new directions smirk at Holly Holiday, "do ya, do ya?"
the new directions clapped their hands again, "so just remember whenever you're having sex with someone," Artie looked at Spencer when he looking at Santana, "you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with,"
"eww," Finn looked at Spencer, when Santana frowned at Spencer, when Spencer remembered that Santana had sex with Finn, "god, that's gross,"
"and everybody's got a random," Ms Holiday looks at them when Spencer shook his head, when he just closed his blue eyes.
***
"well, if it isn't my sweet, sweet porcelain," Kurt turns towards Coach Sylvester beside Blaine, "Coach Sylvester, what are you doing here?"
"hmm," Kurt back towards the front, "just picking up some coffee, i like my enemas pipping hot,"
Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, "actually, boys, i heard that this was a dalton academy hangout, and i come in a spirit of fellowship,"
Blaine let's put a chuckle when Kurt rolled his eyes, "as you no doubt have heard, i've taken over for the coach of Aural Intensity,"
"we heard you pushed him down the stairs," Coach Sylvester looked at Kurt, "no, you can't prove that,"
Blaine furrowed his eyebrows when Kurt turns to him, "this is just sort of how she talks," Coach Sylvester looked at them, "so, i happen to have some top secret intel,"
she then smirks, "Will Schuester has finally realised that his team's achilles's heel is their utter lack of sex appeal," Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, "expect for the Zac Efron look alike and the Liam Hemsworth look a like,"
"Spencer and Sean?" Coach Sylvester rolled her eyes before nodding her heads, "the new directions are getting sexy,"
"and the key to regionals is out-sexing them," Kurt frowned, "and i suspect that the judges are scoring extra for it this year, so, porcelain,"
Coach Sylvester turns back to Kurt, "quid pro quo: what do you have for me?" Kurt frowned again, "i'm sorry, Coach, but you and i are not in cahoots,"
"probably should have nailed that down before i have you my top secret intel," Coach Sylvester looked at Kurt, "porcelain, you just made a powerful enema,"
Coach Sylvester walked away from Blaine and Kurt, "we gotta hold an emergency meeting," Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, "why?"
"weren't you listening? the judges at regionals have an eye out for something new, which means.." Blaine smiled, "the warblers got to do something sexy-fied to beat them,"
"no offence to your old team, but the only hot students in that group, are mostly all of the boys and the old cheerios," Kurt looked at Blaine, "so, Spencer, Sean?" Blaine nods his head, "they're like Zac Efron and Liam Hemsworth's twin's?"
***
"are you getting that chasity charm?" Spencer looked at Santana, "why?" Spencer scratched the back of his neck, "uh, no reason,"
Santana narrowed her eyes, "is it because you don't want me to have sex with anyone else?" Spencer sighed, when he put his hands into his jeans, "yeah, i-i mean,"
Santana looked up at Spencer, "i'll get one, just for you, Spence, only if you have the key to it," Spencer bit his lip, "but we aren't dating, i think i'm dating Rachel,"
"yeah, i know, just for you know, the future.." Spencer nods his head, "okay..i'll buy the key for you," Santana smiled when she kissed his cheek, "you're the best,"
***
"i want to talk to you guys about something," Santana did Brittany's hair putting into a high ponytail when Samaria played with Brittany's hands, "i really like it when we make out and stuff,"
Santana's cheeks go red when she sees Samaria looking at Brittany, "which isn't cheating, because?"
Samaria then stood up as Santana let go of Brittany's blonde hair, "the plumbings's different,"
"mm-hmm," Samaria nods her head, as she pressed her lips to Brittany's and Santana's cheek, "but when Artie and i together or when Spencer and Santana were together, we talk about stuff or used to, talk about our feelings,"
Santana looked at Brittany, "me and Spencer do talk just not about our feelings, he thinks he's dating Rachel but he doesn't know," Samaria furrowed her eyebrows at Brittany, "why?"
"because with feelings," Santana then looked towards Samaria, "it's much better," Samaria shook her head, "are you kidding? it's better when it doesn't involve feelings,"
Santana frowned at Samaria, "me and Spencer use to talk about our feelings," Samaria pats her best friend's back, "but i think it's better when it doesn't involve eye contact, like, i'm only using Sam for attention,"
Brittany shrugs her shoulders, "i don't know, we guess we just don't know how we feel about this,"
Samaria looked at Brittany, "Santana only joined us, when Spencer wasn't giving her attention, but, look..." Samaria goes around them, "let's be clear here.. i'm not interested in any labels,"
Samaria looked at Santana and Brittany, "only if it's with my best friends but other then that, or if it's on something i shoplift," Brittany shrugged her shoulders, "i don't know, Samaria, i think we should talk to somebody,"
"like an adult, about us," Samaria furrowed her eyebrows, "this relationship between us is really confusing for me," Samaria folds up her jumper, "breakfast is confusing for you,"
"well," Santana looked at Brittany, with a frown on her face, "sometimes it's sweet, and sometimes it's salty, like," Brittany shrugged her shoulders, "what if i have eggs for diner? then what is it?"
Santana furrowed her eyebrows at her best friend when she frowned towards the strawberry blonde headed girl, "you guys, need to make this," she motions between both of them, "something.. or tell someone about it,"
***
Spencer stood in pop's diner with his apron on when Sean smirks at him, when they both start dancing in the kitchen, making someone a ham sandwich with lettuce.
"hamburger, cheese burger, lettuce, tomato," Sean smirks at Spencer when Spencer does the finishing touches on the sandwich when he puts it onto a plate, coming towards them, "there you go, enjoy,"
"thank you.."
Spencer went around the counter in front of the kitchen, bending down to grab something when he hears the door bell ring, "Spencer?"
Spencer leans upwards, when he puts his hands onto the wooden counter looking at Santana, who sat there with the chasity charm on her neck, "wow,"
he goes to touch the necklace, "that's really nice," Santana opened her hand when she shows him the key, "Ms Pillsbury said that you didn't come by to buy the key charm, so..."
Santana looked into Spencer's blue eyes, "i got it for you," Spencer touched Santana's hand, staring at the key charm, when Santana hands it to him, "i'll pay you back, i promise you,"
"i know you will," Santana smiled sweetly at Spencer, when Spencer noticed a hickey on her neck, "what's that?"
"what's what?" Santana looked at Spencer, when he grabbed his phone from his pocket when he showed her his camera when she sees a hickey forming, "uh.."
"Spence.." Spencer drops the key charm in her hands, "i thought you promised me," Santana frowned, "i... i did, i promised you, Spencer,"
"then what's that?" Spencer looked at the hickey forming on Santana's neck, "am i embarrassing you?" Santana gulped, when she could see the tears forming in his blue eyes, "no, Spencer, can we talk about this?"
"lead the way," Spencer looked at Sewn, when he noticed people in the diner looking at them, "can you?" Sean just nods his head, "sure, buddy,"
Sean walks towards the customer in his apron on his waistband when Santana leads Spencer towards the back room, "okay, explain,"
Santana scratched her neck, "uh.." Spencer rolled his eyes, "come on, Santana.." Santana bit her lip, "i've been hooking up with S..."
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "hooking up? with who? Sam? Samaria?" Santana's eyes widened at one of Spencer's girl best friends, "yeah, and.... Brittany,"
Spencer's eyes widened, "i always knew you were hooking up with Brittany, like the time when we were going out and she's was kissing my neck but Samaria," he furrowed his eyebrows, "isn't she supposed to be dating Sam? is she a lesbian?"
Santana looked at Spencer covering his mouth, "you can't tell anyone what i just told you, she'd kill me, and Britt will be sad at me and you," Spencer sighed, "so... what does that make you? a lesbian? bisexual?"
Santana bit her lip, "i didn't actually think about it, but..." she looked down at her hand where the key charm was, "can you have this? now that i told you, about this,"
Spencer held Santana's hand in his, "yeah, but San," she turned back to him, "you'd know i will always love you no matter who you love," Santana looked at Spencer, "i love you,"
Spencer's cheeks go red, "does that mean you're bisexual?" Santana shrugged her shoulders, "m...maybe, i haven't actually thought about it,"
"okay.." Spencer kissed Santana's forehead when she walked out of the back room, as Spencer followed after her when Sean wiggles his eyebrows, "it wasn't like that dude, we were just talking,"
Sean rolled his brown eyes, "you always say that, when you and Santana talk," Spencer rolled his blue eyes at Sean, when he playfully pushed his shoulders, "let's just get back to work,"
***
"it's about who you fall in love with," Spencer stopped when he sees Ms Holiday sitting opposite Samaria and Brittany.
Spencer bit his lip, when he shoved his hands into his pockets when he sees Santana laughing with Artie and Micaela at her locker, "it's about who you fall in love with,"
Brittany shrugged her shoulders, "well, i don't know how i feel, because Samaria refuses to talk about it, unlike Santana," Samaria frowns when Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "okay well, i know talking about feelings can be really hard,"
Spencer nods his head, when he feels butterflies in his stomach every time he thinks about Santana, "so i actually have an idea,"
Ms Holiday looked in between them, "why don't you guys find a song and see if maybe the lyrics of the song could help you start a dialogue going?" Samaria nods her head, "i could be down with that,"
Samaria turns to Brittany, "i have the perfect song in mind, but.." Samaria turns to Ms Holiday, "there's just one problem, through, Britt and i maybe need your help to sing it,"
Ms Holiday smiled at Samaria, "i thought you'd never ask,"
***
Spencer laid in his bed, when from beside his bedroom he could hear Blaine speaking in Kurt's bedroom, "all right, so give me sensual,"
"but don't make fun of it, like, really try," Kurt nods his head when Spencer throws his football in his bedroom, "la, la, la..."
"okay," Blaine furrowed his eyebrows at Kurt's face, "now, give me... sultry," Spencer bites down onto his lip, sexily when he rolled his eyes pulling his lip away from his teeth.
"do you got plans tonight?" Spencer shrugged his shoulders, when he leans upwards holding his footballs in hand, when he gets off his bed going towards his desk where he sits onto his desk chair, writing into his song book, "i'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and i.."
Spencer tapped his pencil against his notebook, when he looks towards his guitar, "i was thinking i could fly to your hotel tonight,"
Spencer smirks, when he tapped his foot against his floor, "cause i-i can't get you off my mind, can't get you off my mind," Spencer shook his head, "can't get you off my mind (oh),"
Spencer drops his notebook onto his desk when he grabs his acoustic guitar, going to sit back down at his desk chair, "one, two, three.."
"do you got plans tonight? i'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and i..." Spencer smirks, as he closed his blue eyes, "i was thinking i could fly to your hotel tonight..."
"this is pointless, Blaine," Kurt slaps his hands against his thighs when he stands up as Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "i don't know how to be sexy, because i don't know the first thing about sex,"
Spencer sighed, as he was now back to his bed, as he laid against his headboard, "neither," Spencer frowned, when just closed his eyes, "Kurt, you're blushing,"
"i've tried watching those movies with Spencer and Finn, but i just get horribly depressed and then Spencer switches off the tv as Finn goes upstairs into his room," Spencer frowned, "and i think about how they were all kids once, and they all have mothers,"
Kurt frowned, "and god, what would their mothers think? and what would you get that tattoo there?" Blaine looked at Kurt, "then maybe we should have a conversation about it,"
"i'll tell you what i know," Kurt shook his head, "i don't... i don't want to know the graphics details," Spencer cringed, "i like romance, that's why i like broadway musicals, because the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets,"
Blaine frowned, "Kurt, you're going to have to learn about it someday," Kurt shook his head, "well, not today,"
Kurt looked at Blaine, "i've think i leaned quite enough for today, thank you," Kurt's eyes met Blaine's, "i think you should leave,"
Spencer comes towards out of his room towards Kurt's doorframe, "Blaine.." Blaine turned towards Spencer, "Kurt asked you to leave, i think he's had enough today,"
Blaine stood up, "i'm sorry," Spencer looked at Blaine, "i'll walk you towards your car," Blaine nods his head when Spencer pats his back.
***
"uh!" Spencer looked at Santana, as they stood in the auditorium in tango outfits alongside Ms Holiday and Mr Schuester.
Spencer circled around Santana, his hair combed through nicely, "you.." Spencer connect his hands with Santana's, "don't have to be beautiful,"
Spencer lightly dips Santana onto his though, "to turn me on," Santana touched Spencer's face, "i just need your body, baby,"
"from dusk til dawn," Spencer held Santana's hands in his, "you don't need experience to turn me out," Santana smirks Ms Holiday who danced with Mr Schuester, "you just leave it all up to me,"
"i'm gonna show you what's its all about," Santana smiled at Spencer as they tango, "you don't have to be rich to be my girl.."
Spencer held Santana's waist, "you don't have to be cool to rule my world," Spencer runs his fingers through his hair making Santana lightly chuckle, "ain't no particular sign i'm more compatible with,"
Spencer spin Santana as her back was tonhis front, as she leans downwards, "i just want your extra time and your kiss.." when she slides back up his body, "yeah.."
Santana playful pushed Spencer away from her when he touched her raven hair, Spencer then connects his hands back with hers, "women, not girls, rule my world,"
"i said, they rule my world," Spencer spins Santana in his arms, "act your age, not your shoe size,"
Mr Schuester and Spencer looked at each other, "not your shoe size...." Santana span around Spencer, "maybe we can do the twirl,"
Spencer dips Santana in his muscular arms, "you don't have to watch dynasty to have an attitude," Spencer wrapped Santana's leg around his waist, "you just leave it all up to me,"
Santana throws her head back, "my love will be your food," their forehead touching, "yeah..." Spencer let's out a breath, "you don't have to be rich to be my girl,"
"don't have to be cool to rule my world," Santana's hand was on Spencer's shoulder as Ms Holiday hands was on Mr Schuester's shoulder, "ain't no particular sign, i'm more compatible with,"
Spencer smirks at Santana, "i just want your extra time and your..." Santana's back was to Spencer's chest, as his hands were on her forearms, "kiss..."
Spencer spins Santana around, when she connects their lips together, when Spencer's hands goes to Santana's waist and to her tanned cheek as Spencer then opened his blue eyes pulling away from Santana, "i-i shouldn't of don't that,"
"we aren't dating anymore," Spencer pulled away from Santana with a frown on his face, "that was a mistake i made when i was dating you, i kissed Rachel and now.. i'm kissing you when i think i'm dating Rachel,"
Spencer frowned, "i'm a terrible person," Spencer moved back away from Santana, "i can't be that person," Spencer shook his head, "i'm not that person," and with that Spencer runs backstage.
***
"i climbed a mountain and i turned around," Samaria, Brittany and Ms Holiday sat in front of the new directions singing, as Spencer knew that Samaria had feelings for Brittany.
when he had dated Brittany, Samaria wouldn't talk to him only in glee club because every time, she wanted to talk to him, Spencer was always with Brittany, what broke her heart as she watched the girl she was in love with kissing one of her best friends who still had feelings for a raven headed cheerleader.
"well, the landslide brought me down," Spencer lightly smiled towards Samaria, as she put his thumbs up towards Brittany when she looked at Santana and Spencer who sat beside each other.
"a landslide will bring you down," the new directions clapped their hands, when Samaria wiped away a tear from her face, "is that really how you feel?"
Samaria turned to Brittany with a smile on her face, "uh-huh.." Samaria stood up when she made her way towards Brittany when Spencer smiled at the two of them, "they're cute,"
Spencer nods his head, when he didn't look at Santana, "yeah," Sam leaned into Artie, "pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends, right?"
Spencer covered his mouth, "i wish you and i were that close," Spencer then furrowed his eyebrows, "can i just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of sapphic charm?"
Spencer turned to Rachel, "brava, brava.." Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "look," Samaria looked at Rachel who sat beside Spencer, "just because i sang a song with Brittany doesn't mean that you can put a label on me, Berry,"
Samaria looked at Rachel, "is that clear?" Rachel's smile fell from her face, and with that Samaria moved her arm away from Brittany, when she goes towards Sam.
Sam put his arm around her, kissing her cheek, "you did so good," Samaria half smiled at Sam, when Spencer and Santana both shook their heads from above them.
***
Ms Pillsbury hit her gravel against the table as Puck sat beside Quinn with Spencer sat beside Rachel, "this meeting of the celibacy club will now come to order,"
Rachel held Spencer's hand in hers when she sees Quinn staring at him, "before we begin, i would just like to start by congratulating," Ms Pillsbury looks at Rachel and Quinn, "you by reminding you not one member of this club has had an unexpected pregnancy in almost a year,"
Spencer looked at Quinn with a frown on his face, before looking away, "you get tenses for menses," Ma Pillsbury smiled, "i'd also like to welcome our newest members, Spencer Hudson and Noah Puckerman,"
the two boys smirk, "are you lost, Noah?" Quinn looked at the mohawk boy beside her, "yeah, you don't belong here," she moved her eyes towards Spencer, "and neither do you,"
Spencer frowned, "you guys are the biggest man whores of them all," Puck furrowed his eyebrows at Quinn, "uh," Spencer looked at Quinn, "i've only had three girlfriends, and i'm not a man whore, and if i was then that would make you one as well,"
"wouldn't it?" Quinn looked away from Spencer, "okay, zizes and i were going make to a sex tape," Spencer shook his head at Puck, "but then i found out that making that tape would have resulted in my arrest,"
Puck frowned, "i've hit rock bottom, and we've come to set ourselves straight," Spencer nods his head, "that's just awesome, Spencer, Noah.."
Ms Pillsbury looked at them, "and you're just in time, because tomorrow the girls and i are going to perform a song for glee club extolling the benefits of celibacy," Puck smirks, "i'm down for that,"
"what about you, Spencer, are you in?" Spencer bit onto his lip, looking around the square table, "uh, can i think about it?" Ms Pillsbury nods her head, "yeah, just tell me before the performance,"
Spencer nods his head, "point of order, while three chicks and me is a typical Saturday night in the Puckerman bedroom," Spencer gagged, "it's not the best balance for singing, if Spencer is not going to do it, we need at least one more dude,"
Ms Pillsbury smiled, "i've got that covered," Spencer looked at Ms Pillsbury, "i actually don't think i'd able to do it, i'm sorry," Rachel squeezes Spencer's hand when Ms Pillsbury half smiled, "it's okay,"
***
Puckerman, Ms Pillsbury, Rachel, Quinn and Carl performed 'Afternoon Delight' as Spencer furrowed his eyebrows.
Brittany claps her hands, when she stands up as she pulls Spencer up with her making him clap his hands when Mr Schuester looked at the two of them, "hi,"
Ms Holiday raised her hand, "um, Holly here," Ms Pillsbury looked at Holly, "yeah?" Spencer looked at Ms Holiday, "so i'm a little confused, isn't this a strange song for the.. the celibacy club to sing?"
Ms Pillsbury let out a chuckle, "but why? it's so wholesome," she turns to Carl, "it was written during the bicentennial to celebrate America and fireworks..." Ms Holiday shook her head, "no, it's about sneaking out for a nooner,"
"yes, exactly!" Spencer's blue eyes widened, "a nooner's when you have desert in the middle of the day, right?" Ms Holiday bit her lip, "right, Carl?"
Carl looked at his fiancé, "well, regardless.... it was a great job, guys, great number," Mr Schuester clapped his hands, "it was... it was fantastic,"
"hey," Mr Schuester looked at the new directions, "glee club, let's go," Spencer stood up, when Brittany grabbed onto his hand, while she goes towards Artie, as she sits onto her boyfriend's lap, when Spencer wheels them.
***
Spencer came downstairs going towards the fridge, when he sees his mom sitting at the table, "Spencer, we need to have a talk,"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows when he closed the fridge, as he held a water bottle in his hands, "a talk about what?" Carole looked at her son, "you know, the sex talk."
Spencer spat out the water from his mouth, "w-what? i already know," Carole shook her head, "come on," Spencer looled at the table to see some pamphlets, "uh.."
he scratched the back of his neck, "Spence, you already the basics," Spencer nods his head, "i just want you to be safe, i don't want you to have a baby while you're still in high school because it will come to that stage in your relationship where you want to do it,"
"la, la, la!" Carole took Spencer's hands out of his ears, "i bought you some condoms, because when you're ready, you will need them," Spencer wrapped his hand around his water bottle, "okay, i'll take one of pamphlets, now can i go upstairs?"
Carole nods her head, "yeah, when you are ready to talk about me, you can always come to me," Spencer stopped at the bottom of the stairs, "mom..." Carole looked at Spencer, "thank you,"
Carole nods her head with a smile on her face, "i love you sweetie," Spencer smiled, "love you too, mom,"
***
"hi,"
Samaria walked up towards Brittany's locker, "hey," Samaria looked down, "can we talk?" Brittany furrowed her eyebrows, "but we never do that,"
"i know," Samaria played with her fingers, "but, um, i wanted to thank you.. for performing that song with me in glee club,"
Brittany stared at Samaria, "yeah," she nods her head, "cause it's made me do a lot of thinking,"
"what i've realised is why, i'm such a bitch all the time," Brittany frowned at Samaria, "i'm a bitch because i'm angry, i'm angry because i have all of these feelings.."
Samaria looked around, "feelings for you... that i'm afraid of dealing with," Spencer didn't turn around, when he lightly smiled, "because i'm afraid of dealing with the consequences,"
Brittany just looked into Samaria's eyes, "and, Brittany, i can't go to an indigo girls concert, i just can't," Samaria shook her head, "i understand that,"
"do you understand why i'm trying to say here?" Brittany shook her head, "not really," Samaria bit onto her lip, "i want to be with you,"
Samaria looked at Brittany, "but i'm afraid of the talks, and the looks, i mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school," Brittany looked at Samaria, "but, honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, Spencer, Sean and Micaela would kick their ass, or you would slash them with your vicious, vicious words,"
"yeah, i know, but..." tears came down Samaria's face, "i'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back, still, i have to accept..." Spencer frowned, "that i love you,"
"i love you," Samaria wiped a tear from her face, "and i don't want to be with Sam or Mason or Finn or any of those other guys," Samaria looked at Brittany, "i just want to be with you,"
"please say that you love me back,"
Spencer frowned, "please.." Brittany frowned at Samaria, "of course, i love you, i do," Brittany frowns, "and i would totally be with you, if it weren't for Artie,"
"Artie?"
Samaria furrowed her eyebrows, "i love him, too, i don't want to hurt him, that's not right," Samaria looks at Brittany, "you're hurting me right now,"
Brittany frowns, "i can't break up with him," Samaria looked at Brittany, "yes, you can, he's just some stupid boy," Brittany kept a straight face, "but it wouldn't be right, Samaria, you have to know...."
"if Artie and i were to ever break up, and i'm lucky enough that you're still single," Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "don't,"
Samaria put her arms over her chest, "i am so yours, proudly so," Samaria couldn't keep the tears in, "yeah, wow, whoever thought that being fluid meant you could be so stuck?"
"i'm sorry," more tears came down Samaria's face as Brittany tried to hug her, "don't..." Samaria pushed Brittany away from her, "get off me,"
"i'm sorry," Samaria walked away, when Spencer quickly closed his locker when Samaria comes into his chest, "what happened?"
Samaria just shook her head as she cried into his black shirt, "s-she broke m-my hear-heart," Spencer rubbed Samaria's back, when Brittany frowned at Spencer and Samaria, "it's okay, it's okay.."
***
"i hereby call the celibacy club to order," Spencer furrowed his eyebrows at Rachel, "where's Ms Pillsbury?" Rachel looked at the boy she liked, "she decided to talk the hour she was spending here to use it to fix her sham of a marriage,"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, "in the intern, i'll be taking over," Samaria looked at Rachel, "because you annoyingly take over everything?"
Rachel looked at Samaria, "because i realised that while all of us making our celibacy pledge is wonderful," she looks around, Spencer's eyes stopping into Santana's brown eyes, "one day we're going to fall in love with someone,"
Santana blushed, as Spencer continued to stare at her, "and we're going to choose to be intimate with them," Samaria looked at Brittany who was smiling at Artie.
Spencer looked at Santana with a small smile on his face, as he leaned against the palm of his hand, "speaking of being intimate, what's with the hickey, Quinn?"
Spencer looked towards his ex girlfriend when he sees a hickey onto Quinn's neck, "it's not a hickey,"
she rolled her eyes when Puck looked at Quinn, "oh, i know hickeys, i'm a freaking connaisseur," he turns to Lauren, "i can make them into shapes, like balloon animals,"
Quinn looked at Puck, "i burnt myself this morning with my curling iron," Spencer rolled his eyes, "the key is to use the curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from getting burnt,"
"no," Lauren shook her head when Rachel rests her head against Spencer's forearm with a small smile on her face.
{Season 2, Episode 15: "Sexy"}