You woke up feeling the happiest you ever had in a long time. Perhaps it was because you were in bed with him in his apartment, or probably because the first sensation you felt when he woke up was his kisses on the back of your neck. You had goosebumps all over your body as you felt him lazily kissing your neck and back, running a hand through your hair. You didn't realize when but you'd fallen asleep and you could feel Roger's arm draped loosely over your waist and your legs were intertwined. You felt like pinching yourself to make sure this was actually happening. You were in bed with Roger. Fucking Roger. After you'd basically told him you loved him. And he'd said it back. He had said it back. You really hoped it wasn't in the spur of the moment but by the way he was kissing you, it felt like he meant it. Of all the ways you'd planned on telling him, blurting it out between riding him wasn't one of them. But it was perfect.
You thought back to the events of the morning. And how everything had unfolded. It was a long time coming and your legs still felt weak from being fucked by him. You know understood all the girls who were always on him, he was amazing in bed. You felt an aching between your legs just thinking back to how he fingered you. He was a god at that. Your mind kept drifting back to his words.
"I'm fucking in love with you"
He loved you. You let out a soft sign of contentment at the way his mouth felt against your neck and Roger realized you were awake.
"I didn't know you were up" He said, his voice extremely hoarse and it was so hot. You hummed in response and gripped his arm around you tighter.
"Am I going to be woken up like this every day?" You asked, referring to his kisses. His hand then snaked over your hip and between your legs and you shivered.
"Some days" He mumbled and slipped his hand between your thighs "Depends on how generous I'm feelin"
You laughed and turned around, facing him. He smiled at your expression and asked "You feeling okay?"
You nodded "I'm really glad you're back"
"Course you would be. You've been looking forward to this for weeks" He said knowingly and you heard the doorbell.
"Whatever, Rog" You said and shoved him off, turning around to swing your legs over the side of the bed. It was about 11 now.
"Don't leave" He said and you turned to see his hand outstretched to you from under the blanket. He looked so different from how you'd seen him onstage or while rehearsing. Most of his body was covered with the blanket, and his head was peeking out from underneath, his hair lying messily around him on the pillow. He looked like a teenager with the way he was glowing.
"Well, who's gonna get the door then?" You asked and looked around the room.
"Let them knock, it's probably the neighbors asking us to keep it down" Roger said "Or more specifically, you"
You blushed at his words and moved across the room.
"What are you even lookin for?" He asked as you looked around absentmindedly.
"Everything you need is right here" He said lazily and pointed at himself.
"Roger. Not now, I can't find my pajamas" You replied. You were in his sweatshirt and it reached just past your hips. Roger loved the look on you. He'd never seen somebody so fucking gorgeous. Your hair was completely messy, courtesy to him throwing your hair tie away somewhere and he could see the curve of your butt because of how short the shirt hung. He'd woken up next to hundreds of girls, just dreading the moment he'd have to ask them to leave but this was the first time he wanted to beg one to stay.
Roger thought back to the events of the morning "I think I took them off in the kitchen" He said and got out of bed.
"The kitchen-?" You wanted to ask why they were there until you remembered and he caught your embarrassment and smirked.
"I took them off when you were practically begging me to finger you" He said and you rolled your eyes, trying to play off as casual. The doorbell rang again and a series of knocks followed.
"I was not begging" You narrowed your eyes at him and walked out of the room, and sure enough, your pajamas were strewn across the floor and you bent down to pick them up. You had no idea where he'd thrown your sweater either and you groaned in frustration.
"Now that's a view I could get used to" Roger said looking at you bending as he walked out shirtless. You groaned and got up, slipping your legs into them.
"Do you ever shut up?" You asked him. Although you were annoyed, you couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of spending many more mornings like this with him, and waking up in his apartment again.
"Are you staying?" He asked and you realized you needed to go meet Miami and John Reid. They had set up a meeting with you and you'd been avoiding them and their calls for an entire week. You knew what it would be about and although the idea of a promotion was charming, you didn't want it. Saying no to the offer would be extremely rude and disrespectful but you didn't know what to do.
"I have a meeting with Reid and John" You told him, pulling your pajamas over your hips.
His face fell and he asked "About working with Elton?"
You nodded "I still haven't made up my mind"
He looked up at you "You haven't?"
Even if you took the job with them, you could still stay with Roger. You'd just be going to different places of work but at least you would come back together. The thought calmed you down. Maybe working for somebody other than Queen wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Yeah, I have to call Mary too, I left without telling her anything" You remembered and the knocking on the door got more intense. Roger yanked open the door and you heard Brian's voice.
"Christ, Roger I was gonna break down your door any minute now" Brian said, stepping in.
"Give them some space, they were probably just christening the bed" Freddie said, walking in behind Brian.
"Freddie!" You exclaimed and ran up to him, despite your awkwardness at his words, hugging him.
"I want a hug too, I haven't seen you in two weeks" Brian complained and you laughed and stood on your toes to hug him.
"How you been without us?" Freddie asked "Mary took care of you?"
"I took care of myself" You said, pulling back.
"Where's Deaky?" You asked.
"He's getting the food" Brian said and went and sat on the couch. They didn't seem surprised to see you in Roger's apartment or to see him shirtless with you.
"Why do you make Deaky do all the work?" You asked, annoyed but happy because you hadn't eaten in hours. Roger's unfinished ham sandwich lay on the kitchen counter and Freddie noticed it at the same time you did.
"Why would you waste a perfectly good sandwich?" Freddie asked, picking it up and examining it.
"I was gonna eat that but I..." You trailed off and he gave you a look and then turned to Roger.
"Got distracted?" He asked and you nodded meekly.
"Don't blush darling, we all know it's been a long time coming" Freddie said, smiling at both of you "Roger didn't shut up the entire two weeks about you" Brian added, stepping into the kitchen and Roger rolled his eyes "Both of you, shut it"
Freddie glanced at your flustered reaction and laughed, his eyes going to the hickies on your neck and chest "Well, well, well, looks like you guys made up for lost time"
"Why are you guys here?" You asked, immediately realizing it was still pretty early and not wanting to be embarrassed further.
"Well, to meet you of course! And to tell you the amazing but predictable news that our album has hit the charts" Freddie said and you audibly gasped. This was only their third album and the fact that it had succeeded was unbelievable, and too good to be true.
"You're serious?" You asked.
"Roger didn't tell you?" Brian asked and you shook your head.
"That's amazing, guys" You breathed "I just can't believe it"
"Well you best believe it fast, we're leaving for a tour in a week" Brian said and you stared at him.
"You are? A tour of England?" You asked, feeling pride swell up in your chest.
"How do you not know all this already? I was so sure Miami or Rog told you" Freddie said. You noticed Roger had been quite the entire conversation. He had walked back to his room to wear another shirt since you were wearing his and now was busy arranging random things in the kitchen as you all talked and you wondered why he was so peaceful all of a sudden.
"I haven't really talked to Miami in a few days. I'm supposed to call him back but I was avoiding him" You admitted.
"Well, guess what, little peach?" Freddie said and you raised your eyebrows at the nickname.
"We're going on a tour of America" He said and you felt the breath being knocked out of you. America was the goal, it was what you and Miami had talked about as being the end point and here they were only just starting out.
"You're kidding me, right? You're pulling my leg?" You asked but then took in their expressions, of awe and amazement and pure joy and you almost let out a squeal, rushing up to hug Freddie.
You were surprised Roger hadn't told you yet, he hadn't even brought it up once. It was really weird because this was the biggest news ever and the fact that he kept it from you and didn't even mention it was a bit strange.
"I can't believe it, this is, this is perfect" You mumbled into his shoulder and you saw Roger's face fall, once again. And knowing him, it probably wasn't because of hugging Freddie, he would never get jealous of that. It was something else that was bothering him. You turned back to Roger and leaned up to kiss his cheek as a congratulations and he immediately pulled away, mumbling something about food.
"What's the celebration?" You heard an all too familiar Deaky say as he walked into the apartment, with plastic containers in his hand "I bring food"
"Deaky!" You said and went up to hug him. You tried to ignore how Roger had basically pulled away from your gesture. Deaky laughed and wrapped one arm around you while keeping the other steady to hold the food.
"Careful, love. I walked three blocks for this" He said and you looked down at the food. He then glanced at your appearance and smiled "Looks like you and Roger had a very fulfilling morning"
"Deaky" You groaned.
You all sat down around Roger's kitchen island, eating the amazingly delicious English breakfast Deaky had gotten and you glanced at Roger but he seemed lost in his own thoughts. What was bothering him? You figured you would talk to him after everybody had left. You didn't want to call him out on it.
"There's a party tomorrow, you're coming right?" Brian asked and you let out a laugh "Do you lads ever stop partying?"
Freddie shook his head, finishing up his eggs and said "Fuck no, what's the point of being rock stars then?"
The guys told you all about their tour as you ate breakfast and you told them about how you and Mary passed your time without them.
"Mary told me how miserable you were" Brian said and you raised a brow, taking a sip of your coffee.
"I was fine" You responded quickly and Freddie and Brian gave each other a knowing look.
"It's okay, darling. Roger was just like you, if not worse. He wouldn't shut up about you and meeting you and telling you what he felt and finally getting to fuck you" Freddie said and you almost spit out your drink, choking on it. You hadn't expected that sentence to turn the way it did, but knowing Freddie you should have.
"Fred, what the fuck?" Roger said, annoyed and looked up at him from his food.
"Somebody's in a bad mood" Deaky mumbled and Roger gave him a look. You couldn't even fathom why he would be. Hadn't he had the best morning of his life just now? If he'd been so looking forward to meeting you, why didn't he seem happier about it?
"Yes. I'm surprised he's not touching her under the table right now" Brian said and you gave a half hearted laugh.
"I've just got a lot on my mind" Roger responded, taking a sip of his drink and you looked at him in confusion.
"He's just mad we intruded" Deaky said.
"Well, he can get her to himself all he wants when we leave" Freddie justified.
"I'm right here" Roger said, referring to the fact that they were talking about him in third person.
"Well, how was your New Year?" Deaky asked turning the attention back to you as he was worried Roger would start throwing things anytime soon.
"It was okay, nothing as exciting as yours" You told him, your focus still on Roger's behavior.
After Freddie and the boys left, you stayed behind to help Roger clean up. He barely said a word to you as you put the dishes away and you felt yourself growing annoyed at him every second. You reached up to put some of the plates away and you felt his arms wrap around your midriff all of a sudden and he leaned in to kiss your cheek. A million things were going through your head as you felt his hands trail up your arm and you turned around abruptly. His face was extremely close to yours and he pulled you against him, his nose grazing yours. He had been rejecting you before and now he wanted to kiss you?
"Hi" He smiled.
"Roger" You spoke, pulling back "What's wrong?"
He tilted his face "What do you mean, doll?"
You tried to ignore the feeling in your stomach when he said doll and responded "You've been acting strange all morning and you barely spoke a single word when the boys were here. On top of that, you didn't even tell me that you're on the American tour. Why would you keep that from me?"
"Oh, I didn't get the time. I must have forgotten" He said and his face immediately fell. He stepped back from you, leaving his hands from your sides and you missed the warmth of his body against yours, but you needed to know what happened.
"Are you all right? You don't just forget news as big as this! I know we were busy kissing and stuff but if you told me, I would have stopped and been so happy!" You told him, leaning against the counter and he mirrored you, opposite you.
"I'm okay, I just...I can't explain it. I didn't want to ruin the moment between us" He responded, and you wanted to roll your eyes because it was obvious, he wasn't okay.
"Roger, how is this going to ruin anything?" You asked.
Before you could ask anything else, he spoke up again "Um, don't you have to meet Mary?"
It was clear he didn't want to talk to you or explain himself. You stopped yourself from speaking and looked down at the floor "I do, I'll see myself out then"
Roger nodded "Right"
You looked at him and he was looking everywhere but you. You were quite sure you'd never seen him this uncomfortable, not since Ava at least. You opened the door, looking back at him, and then left.
It was a few hours later and Mary had come over to your place. You'd changed out of Roger's shirt into a soft white sundress.
"I don't know what to do" You spoke, hanging off your bed.
"About Rog?" She asked and you looked at her sitting on your couch, upside down.
You sighed "About my job, but Roger too. I don't know what's wrong with him"
"Honey, I don't know what you want me to tell you. It's your decision" She said.
You groaned "You're not helping me at all"
"Well, you need to tell me everything first" She said and you nodded, getting up and sitting up straight.
"He told me he's in love with me" You said softly "And then one thing lead to another and... you know"
"How was it?" She asked, jumping with an excitement of a schoolgirl finding out her best friend's crush.
"It was...soft and comfortable and, as if it was always like that? It didn't feel awkward and it just felt so natural kissing him and being with him. Waking up with him in bed, it was as if we were always like this"
"Doesn't sound like it was soft from the marks on your neck" She smirked.
You blushed, and said "Am I ever going to stop getting shit about that?" You sighed, lying back down on your bed "Besides, it's not like it made any difference. Something's up with him"
"Did you ask him?" Mary said.
"Even if I do, he won't tell me" You replied, holding a pillow in your lap "I just don't want anything to go wrong now, you know? We're finally past all the hurdles and the obstacles and there were so many and now that we're past them, we still can't communicate! He kept mentioning something about not ruining the moment. I mean we spent hours with each other but he didn't even mention the tour" You said, exasperated and brought the pillow up to your face.
"Maybe you two didn't get time while sucking each other off" She suggested.
"No, he didn't want me to know about the tour...he thought I would be upset" You said, trying to make sense of the way he was acting "I mean they're leaving next week! What did he think, I wasn't going to find out?"
"Maybe that's just it" Mary said.
"What?" You asked.
"He didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to make you upset. He'd be going on tour for six months, on the other side of the world, away from you, and you're going to go work with Elton. Maybe he wanted to cherish the moment?"
"Oh" You said and everything dawned on you. You stood up with an immediacy "Was that his way of saying goodbye? Did he- did he sleep with me because he knew we wouldn't get another chance, not for a long time?" You said aloud, a range of emotions inside you.
"He slept with you because he loves you Y/N" Mary said.
You sunk low on the bed, everything about his behavior beginning to make sense "He was saying goodbye. That was his way of telling me"
"Maybe he was" Mary admitted.
"But I'm not a child, I can handle a long-distance relationship, it doesn't mean we can't stay together. I can handle being away from him, after all I did it all this time" You said.
"You can, maybe he can't. With the way life is on tour, maybe he just didn't want to mess anything up between the two of you. Maybe he can't handle it"
"But we confessed. I don't understand..."
"Telling each other what you feel isn't the end, honey. I know it seems like that'll fix everything, but there's so much more. There're always more problems. Maybe Roger isn't ready for them. Maybe he doesn't want to confront them. He hasn't been in a proper relationship in a long time" Mary explained and you put your head in your hands.
"I just got him...I don't want to lose him Mary" You said, and you could feel your voice breaking at the prospect of not being able to be with him "I've waited so long for this, for him. It can't end here, this is not what it's been leading up to"
"Love, look at me" Mary said and you shook your head "How long have you been waiting to see him again?"
"Two weeks" You said shortly, a single tear slipping down your cheek.
"I'm not going to speak unless you look me in the eye, you're going to kill yourself like this" She said and you breathed into your pillow.
"At least it'll end my infinite, endless suffering and pining for Roger Taylor" You mumbled. You heard Mary make a sound of disappointment before she said
"How long have you wanted to kiss him again? And to talk to him?"
"A couple of months. Feels like all my life though" You mumbled.
"And now he's here. In town. And you're here still sulking in your room. Why?" She said and you hated how she was making sense.
You brought the pillow down from your face and glanced at her.
"You know I'm right, love. Roger is right here, isn't he?"
You nodded softly "Yeah he is"
"Then why aren't you with him?"
"Because even if he loves me, I don't think he wants to be with me..." You said and saying it out loud was like a needle to your heart.
"Roger is crazy about you. Absolutely crazy, he'll do anything for you, I know that. If any woman gets him on track and in a single relationship, it's you" She said, keeping her hand on your knee "Talk to him" She smiled.
You breathed into the pillow, trying to understand his way of acting the way he did. He didn't tell you about the tour the same way you didn't tell him your decision about the job, you didn't want to ruin the moment and make him upset.
"You're right" You said "I've been waiting way too long for him to just snub me like he did before. Especially after the morning we had. He might not be ready for a relationship but right now I don't care. I'm not ruining this week with him, he just got back and he's going off again"
"I know you'll figure something out" She reached up and wiped your cheek.
"I'll go meet him" You repeated, more as an affirmation to yourself.
"Yes, go get your man girl" Mary said and you laughed, throwing your pillow at her.
"What an American thing to say" You said and she laughed, getting up and grabbing her things. You unlocked the door and stepped out of your trailer.
"I'll see you later, Mary" You told her, giving her a kiss and leaving.
You knocked on his door, the second time in a day and Roger opened it, looking at you in surprise. He looked tired and exhausted and one look at his apartment told you he was unpacking but he smiled when he saw you.
"Can I come in?" You asked and he nodded, making way for you.
"I'm sorry about basically kicking you out before" He said "I was being a bit of an ass"
"Yes, you were" You said and he looked at you in surprise, he hadn't expected you to agree "What happened?"
"I just- I was confused why you were so happy" He said.
"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be? You guys hit the charts, that's something to celebrate ain't it, Rog?" You asked.
"It is, I suppose. I'm happy for the band" He said and turned around, walking into the living room and you resisted the urge to follow him.
"Of course, you should be" You said, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
"But don't you understand?" He asked you, his voice raising an octave all of a sudden "We're going to be touring America"
"I do understand, Roger"
"No, I mean we are going to be touring. You're going to be off working with Elton or Bob or someone and we're going to be in the US" He said.
"I know you think we can't work like that, being on different continents and you have no idea what to do now" You paused "Mary said it's not just about love but for me it is, Rog. I have so many feelings for you, and I've probably been in love with you since the minute I saw you and I know how impossible it will be with the tour" You followed him into the living room "And if you're implying that I'm going to get as close to Elton or Bob as I did to you, you're wrong"
"How could you not?" He asked "And aren't you worried that I'd be off shagging American girls while you for me to come home?"
"I-" You paused "Should I be?"
"I don't know..." He said, a sense of anger coming through his tone "I don't know what to think"
"What do you want Rog? From me?" You asked, exasperated.
"I want to spend time with you. I want to take you out on a date and come home to you every night and see your face in the crowd during a gig" He said, stepping towards you and taking your hands in his.
"I want to kiss you every second that I can and I want to fuck you in the tour bus, in the dressing room, on my drumset, anywhere we can and I want to make you scream my name so loud everyone knows that you're mine and nobody would dare question it" He said, the urgency in his voice showing as he tightened his hold on your hands "But that can't happen. It won't because we're going to be away from each other for half the year and it's just a fucking fantasy"
"I want all of that too. I know it's scary to think that just as we realized what we felt for each other, you're being whisked away to another country. It feels almost cruel, like a slap to the face by the universe because when the fuck is it going to let me be with you?" You said back and he listened intently.
"We're just going to have to figure it out. I can't have you losing your mind and your shit and pushing me away over something that hasn't happened yet. I'm here now, aren't I? Can you try and enjoy that, just for now?" You told him and he closed his eyes, nodding.
"Okay" He breathed out "I can try"
You nodded, squeezing his hand for assurance and said "If it helps for me to keep my distance from you-"
"No" He immediately cut you off "Don't do that. That sounds like a horrible, terrible, shitty and possibly the worst idea you might have had"
"Okay, Rog" You laughed "I won't stay away"
He wrapped his arms around you "Please, god, don't. I wanted to take you out on a date. A real, proper one and there was so much I wanted to do" He said.
"I know, it's just not the right time...or place in our lives for that" You sighed. You knew that it was tricky to fall into a relationship pattern, especially because you probably would never be able to be in one. With the way he was speaking, surely, he never expected to come back to you. Your heart broke at the thought. You wanted to be with him more than anything. You were hopeful, but you weren't naive. You knew some things weren't meant to be, and this seemed to be one of them. But every fiber in your being was telling you that you were supposed to be with him.
"I'm sorry about not telling you bout the tour, I just wanted to make the most of what time we have" He said.
You smiled and said "What do you wanna do now?"
"I have a few ideas" He smirked and you laughed.
"Do you ever think about anything than sex?" You asked and he shook his head. He looked down at what you were wearing and grinned "I love this dress on you, why haven't I ever seen it before?"
"I bought it in the holidays" You explained, fluffing it out. He was back to flirting with you and you didn't know how to respond.
"It's beautiful" He repeated and you twirled around to show him. The dress flew up around you and you let out a laugh when you stopped, stumbling over your steps and he quickly caught you. The look in his eyes as he looked down at you changed a mile a minute and his voice dropped low as he said "Even if we're not together, you best know that every time I come back from tour, I'm going to fuck you so hard"
You felt an aching between your legs when he said that and you tried to ignore it. Hadn't he just said you couldn't be together?
"Really?" You whispered.
"Of course, now I know what I'll have to look forward to coming home. Fuck boundaries and labels, I know for a fact I won't be keeping my hands off you regardless of anything else. And if you find some other douchebag to keep you company in those six months, I'm just going to come back and remind you that no one can fuck you like I can"
You didn't know what to say. You didn't want to be with anybody else, you couldn't. Not after him. He talked with such an ease of being with somebody else that it hurt you to think of the possibilities of him with other women on tour. He'd told you that you couldn't be together yet he was holding you like you already were. He talked about you finding a new guy and yet he promised he'd come back and fuck you. You felt so conflicted. What were you supposed to do? How were you supposed to act around him?
"Roger..." You trailed off "Let's not do this right now"
Roger noticed your expression change and he could see your eyes glisten. He had hardly ever seen you cry. He didn't want to make you again.
"You know what? Looks like to me that you're having a horrible day because of a certain blonde wanker and I know how to fix it"
"How?" You asked, your voice low.
"You haven't heard the finished album yet and that's just bollocks" He said and took your hand dragging you to his record player. He was right. You'd helped them record it and heard them perform it but you'd never heard the actual album. His player was next to his couch and you laughed as he took out the album Sheer Heart Attack.
"Let me put this on" He said and took it out the disc. He carefully kept it on the player and put the needle on the first track. The beginning tunes of Brighton Rock filled his apartment and you smiled. Vinyl was so pure and the sound was just beautiful.
"Are we just going to sit and listen to the entire album?" You asked him and he sat on the couch beckoning you to sit next to him. He nodded, excitement on his face and you sat down next to him. Your feet were stretched out on his lap and he held them in his hands as you both leaned back and listened to the album.
"Don't you have to unpack?" You asked, referring to the mess of clothes he'd made.
"Fuck that. I have to pack again in a week" He said and you laughed, closing your eyes and listening to the record. You sat for so long, hearing the tracks Killer Queen and about seven more songs, just peacefully listening. You thought he fell asleep because of how quiet he was but his fingers were softly grazing your feet. Sitting with him like this on the couch reminded you of the time you had seen him reading.
"Are you thinking about-?" Roger began to say.
"You and that terrible book of boats?" You asked "Yes I am, how'd you know?"
"Because I was thinking of the same thing. I wasn't lying you know, I'm going to buy a boat, I'm going to name her Tiger Lily and I'm going to take you out on it" He smiled. It seemed like such an unpredictable future and you couldn't imagine it. The next track, In the Lap of the Gods began to play and you reveled in how amazing their music made you feel. You'd never heard anything like it.
"You'd leave me on the boat while you're off touring America?" You asked him.
"No, of course not. By that time, I'd be retired from drumming and we would be world famous and you and me would just live out on that boat, away from the groupies, all the paparazzi and the boys" He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Retired?" You asked "You're going to leave me alone till I'm sixty?"
He laughed "Of course not love I'm going-, wait hear this bit"
You stopped talking and heard the chorus of the song approaching. You knew why Roger wanted you to hear it. It was his falsetto. His moment of glory. You stared at him as he hummed the lyrics. He looked so peaceful, and so beautiful. His fingers grazed the bottom of your feet slightly, and he made sure it didn't tickle you. You quite literally held your breath as you heard Roger's falsetto echo through the room. You giggled the second time he did it and he glanced at you "If you think it's so funny, why don't you try doing one?"
"It's not funny, it's just so beautiful. You sound like a celestial entity or something" You said and he raised an eyebrow at you.
"Isn't that a bit much?"
You shook your head. It was perfect. His voice was the best thing you'd ever heard.
The chorus started up again and you heard Roger's voice on the vinyl and he was right in front of you and god if he wasn't the most perfect man you'd seen. His blonde hair hung perfectly on his shoulders and his top few buttons were unfastened, as always and he was smiling. He looked at you, expectantly, waiting for your reaction to your song, and the next thing you knew you were on top of him, kissing him like your life depended on it.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as you straddled him.
"I thought we weren't doing this" He mumbled
and you shook your head, bringing your body closer to his "I can't be this close to you and not do this, especially when you sound like that and look like this"
He put an arm around your waist and gripped your thighs tightly. You could feel him getting hard underneath you and he lifted the hem of your dress up.
"You wear this for me?" He asked, nibbling on your ear. He moved so he could feel you better and you let out a moan at the feeling of him against you. Your hands were grabbing at him and you rested them on his bare chest.
"I wore this so you could take it off" You muttered and he groaned in pleasure at your words. His hands slipped under the dress, coming up to your chest as he grabbed your breasts with his hand and he started lifting the dress up with the other hand.
"Roger" You breathed and suddenly felt so many emotions, tears threatening to spill "I don't want to lose you. I can't...not after everything"
"You won't, I'll be coming back from the tour" He said, planting kisses on your face, holding you tightly "And if you manage to find somebody else by then, I'll throw him out of your life"
He kissed the trail of the tear down your cheek and said "I promise, we'll end up together"
"Why can't we be together right now?" You asked, whining almost "Why do you have to go away? Why do I have to stay away from you? I don't want to and I can't"
"That's just how it is and it's ridiculous but we can't do anything" He said, as he kissed your neck. You were too upset to reciprocate but you cherished in the feeling of his lips on your body.
"I don't want to be with any other guy, I don't want you to be with any other girl, or any groupie" You said, on the verge of fully crying.
"Love, we'll be okay" He said and you shook your head.
"I won't be"
"You will" He said, looking into your eyes "You know how I know that? You know how I know we'll be okay?"
You shook your head again, your vision blurry from tears as you stared at him, clutching onto him like he was the only thing in the world.
"Because when this is over, when I come back, and after everything..." He said, holding your face in his hands "...You're the girl I'm going to marry. I know it"