A/N: This is poorly written as I am tired and distracted.
Also, those of you who like Lonnie might want to kill him by then end of this.
Preston and Ashton shippers might be cheering.
read losers
ily
-
-
-
"Get up you shit!"
I bolted upright, nearly tumbling out of bed and onto the floor. My brother's annoyingly cheerful face swam into view and I glared at him.
"You son of a three legged prostitute," I ground out, "I was sleeping."
He grinned cheekily at me and poked me in the stomach.
"Get your shit together Preston, we're going to have cliche brother bonding time."
"Nooooo!" I wailed, gripping my sheets dramatically.
Lonnie groaned from beneath me and punched the bottom of my bed.
"Lonnie, I'll have you know you just punched my butt," I stated matter of factly.
"Good," he chuckled sleepily, "that was the entire meaning of my existence. Your butt is fabulous."
"You owe me one butt touch."
"I very much look forward to that experience. Now if you don't mind, go the fuck away so I can sleep."
"Lazy ass."
"Duh."
I rolled my eyes and slid off the bed, striding over to the bathroom and locking the door.
I peeled my shirt off and winced at my arm, which was smattered with deep red cuts. My eyes were closed as I changed the rest of the way, tugging on a black shirt and sliding on a Billy Talent sweatshirt over it. The skinny jeans made me fall on my ass with a pained 'oomf' but I finally pulled the gray material over my legs.
Ten minutes later Jesse and I were sat in the car, blasting Get Scared as loud as humanly possible. I would have winced but I loved them too much to even think of doing that. He had insisted on taking us for ice cream and one thing you should know about Jesse is you never deny him ice cream or sweets. Trust me, it would be the last thing you do.
"What exactly are we going to talk about?" I asked curiously.
"My left ballsack." he deadpanned.
"No seriously."
"Mason's slight bondage kink."
"Ew. Just tell me."
"You're right, sorry."
"Yeah I know."
"...It's really about my newly discovered tit."
"I disown you."
We glanced at each other for two seconds and burst out laughing.
-
-
-
"I swear to god if you say it one more time I'll kill you," I glared.
"Don't let Lonnie put his hand up your shirt or your little baby tits will be finagled and he'll know you have a vagine." he stated for the third time in a row.
I groaned and banged my head on the table of the ice cream parlor, my cookie dough ice cream in hand. Jesse just gave me a shit eating grin.
"I don't approve of your existence," I ground out.
"I told mom to get an abortion," he shrugged, "now they've got two homos and a trans kid with a bad attitude."
"Well gee, love you two big bro."
Jesse sighed and dropped his smile. I immediately stopped joking around. Jesse rarely got serious, and when he did it was important.
"Look, little bro," he smiled softly at me, "you and Lonnie seem to be getting really close. And it's not that I don't like that kid, I just don't want you getting hurt. I just...I have a bad feeling. I have this feeling that you're going to get hurt and I would sooner cut off my leg than let you get hurt."
For some reason that made me feel slightly irritated. He really couldn't trust me to make my own decisions?
"I swear he won't hurt me Jesse. He's harmless and nice. Lay off, okay?"
Jesse rolled his eyes and licked at his ice cream before starting again.
"Seriously Preston, I'm getting really weird vibes from this kid. It feels like he's hiding something."
I snorted.
"Jesse, I have a VAGINA. He thinks I have a PENIS. If anyone's hiding something, I am."
"You do realize this is a family place, right?"
"PENIS."
"Point taken."
Jesse sighed.
"How are you holding up? What our parents did to you...that was downright cruel. You can talk to me about anything."
"I thought I was the one with a vagina."
"Well that was sexist."
"I know, I did that on purpose."
"Seriously Preston."
I rubbed my temples and debated whether or not to tell him.
"Look Jess, I'm fine. I've always been tough as nails. I'm not some emotionally unstable mess that can't hold themselves together. I'm perfectly fine. If something was going on, I would tell you."
Jesse gave me a distrustful look, and sadly, pressed it.
"When I came out in high school... it was pretty bad. And when mom and dad spent all night trying to convince me I was wrong and everything about me was unholy, I really felt like dying. In fact, if you hadn't come in that night...I might not be here."
I was stunned. I had no idea Jesse was that hurt by what our parents said.
"Jesse, I promise to make sure to the best of my ability that I won't get hurt. I trust Lonnie. Please support me on this."
"I always support you, my gender bending little bro."
"You're mean."
"Why thank you."
We spent the next thirty minutes bickering back and forth about meaningless things and stealing each others ice cream. The only reason we had to leave was because Jesse tried to hurl a frozen coffee my head but missed and hit a mother of three in the face.
"You're a shit, you know that?" I asked sarcastically as we were escorted out of the store and asked not to come back.
"That was hilarious and you know it," he defended.
I rolled my eyes and we rode back to the apartment in silence.
Maybe I could trust Lonnie enough for a relationship. I wondered what it would be like to have someone who would hold my hand and kiss me when I needed it. Lonnie was sweet, spazzy, and a bit of a dork. I could almost...I could almost feel myself falling for him. I definitely felt more than just friendship for him, and it was edging towards love.
But then again...we were in high school. What were the odds that it would actually work? We would just end up getting hurt. Besides, I was born a girl! Wouldn't that be something that would become apparent after an extended period of time? It would just drive him away. He would be disgusted and hate me.
No, I told myself sternly. He cared about me, we would work around it. I knew he wouldn't leave me over something I couldn't control. I may not have been manly, or all too handsome, but I was still a boy, and still me. He liked me for me.
"Mason baby, I hit a woman with a coffee again!" Jesse yelled when we walked into the apartment.
Mason sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Thats the fifth time you've done that sweetie. You have crap aim."
I left them to bicker, making my way to my room. I would ask Lonnie to be my boyfriend. My confidence slowly built, and I opened the door, steeling myself.
And that's when my world crashed around me.
Lonnie was pressed against the wall, being kissed passionately by a handsome man with a five o'clock shadow.
I tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled choking noise.
Lonnie broke away from the guy and gasped, pushing him away as he stumbled towards me.
"No! Preston I swear it isn't what it looks like!"
I just shook my head and backed away, my mouth going dry. I wish I could have cried. But my mind was blank with shock. I never thought he would hurt me. He knew I was in pain already, why did he have to rub it in?
"Was I just a game to you..?" I managed, the tears finally spilling down my face, "I trusted you. I didn't think you would hurt me. You lied when you told me you cared about me. I should have known."
I turned and ran, bursting out the door as Jesse, Mason, and Lonnie yelled after me.
One thing I knew for sure: Lonnie Blue was no angel. I would never love him.