I zip up my last bag, pulling it over to the pile of my things. I stare at it all, not even able to believe that this was actually happening. The door opens and I'm ready to go off on whoever it is until I see that it's Luke. My entire body deflates, every emotion rushing to the surface.
"Hey, no, we can make this work, Dyl. I'm so sorry." I let out a sob, Luke pulling me close. "We got this, I promise." He whispers, smoothing down the hair on the back of my head. My phone buzzes, a text coming through from my mom. My flight was in an hour and there was a car waiting for me. I close my eyes, tears streaming down my face. "I have to go," I whisper into his chest, not moving. A knock at the door has my stomach in knots, praying that it wasn't my mom.
I go to answer it, seeing that it was the driver. He grabs most of my things and I grab the rest, turning back to Luke. I feel more tears again, my heart racing. He pulls me in for another hug, my throat closing. "I can't do this." I manage to get out, beginning to hyperventilate. "Deep breath in." I follow his instructions, taking a deep breath and holding it, then slowly letting it out with him. We do this a few more times, Luke's eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"I love you." He mumbles, kissing me hard. When we pull apart, I give him a small smile, taking a deep breath. "I love you, too," I reply, turning to the door. I leave him in the room and take the elevator downstairs and walk out to the waiting car, putting the last of my things in the trunk and get in the back seat.
---
I land in LA late, a driver taking me to Blake's house and putting my bags in the foyer. I leave my things there, going upstairs to my room. I call Luke, curling up in my bed. "Hey." His voice is sad, making me sad. "I miss you," I say softly, staring at the wall. "I miss you too, but I'll be home before you know it." He says, making me smile softly. "But I do need to go, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, your mom booked us for a ton of stuff, probably to keep us from talking, whatever, call me when you wake up, does that work?" He says, making me sad. "Yeah, I'll text first to make sure you're not about to go on." "Sounds good, love you, Dyl, the guys miss you." "Love you and miss them," I say before hanging up, sighing. I fall asleep pretty fast after traveling, the blankets cocooning me in the bed.
I text Luke when I wake up, ignoring my mom's texts. He responds that he can talk, making me smile. "Hey, babe." He answers my facetime call. "How'd you sleep?" "Okay," I shrug, "I sleep better next to you though." He laughed, nodding. "How was your thing?" I ask, pulling the comforter up to my chin. "It was an interview, it wasn't bad, lots of questions about you going home though since it was out of the blue." I nod, biting my lip. "Stay out of the spotlight!" I say, mocking my mom, "Don't suddenly send me home in the middle of a tour then." I finish sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
He nods, sighing. "Is that Dylan?" I hear Ashton then see him behind Luke, grinning. "Dylan!" He says excitedly. "Hey, Ash," I smile, my heart dropping. I miss them all so much, especially these two with how much they've helped me. "We miss you, we will try to come to visit soon, I promise!" He assures, giving me a reassuring smile. "I'll let you two keep talking, I'm heading back to the hotel, don't forget the radio interview in the morning, it was good seeing you, Dylan." I wave bye to Ashton, biting my lip. "I should let you get some sleep before that radio interview," I say quietly, giving Luke a small smile.
"Don't worry about it, you're more important." "Luke, that's your career, and we don't want to piss my mom off anymore, go get some sleep." He frowns, nodding. "I guess. I'll try to talk to you tomorrow then. I love you and miss you." "Love and miss you too, sleep tight." He smiles before hanging up and I let out a sigh. I turn over, grabbing the tv remote, and turn on Netflix, catching up on some of my shows.
---
"Dylan!" I jump when I hear my name, not thinking anyone would be coming into this house any time soon. My door opens and my fight or flight instincts kick in, my brother's face peeking in. I give him a look, relaxing. "Fuck you, you about gave me a heart attack." Austin laughs, sitting at the end of the bed.
"When was the last time you showered?" He asks, taking in my appearance. I shrug, checking my phone as it dings. I read it and ignore it, looking back at Austin. "Who are you ignoring?" "Mom." He bites back a smile, shaking his head. "She's the reason I'm here, she wanted to make sure you made it home." "Like she actually cared." I scoff, rolling my eyes. "C'mon, go shower, I'll take you out for lunch." "I don't want to." "Dyl, you're worrying me. I've seen you like this before. Please." I blink back tears, not moving or saying anything. "Luke and Ashton have been updating Blake and we've been talking and he also asked me to check on you. We're worried."
"You've never been ripped away from something that was your literal rock and the person you loved most in this world, Austin. We are on completely opposite sides of the world so talking is next to impossible, especially with mom scheduling back-to-back things to make sure we can't talk. I want to watch him succeed in this world but I also want to talk to him." I sigh, wiping away an escaped tear.
He nods, sighing. "I understand how important he is to you, but you can't get too down about this all. Please go shower, let me take you out to lunch and we can talk about this and figure out a game plan." I nod, climbing out of bed. "Maybe shampoo twice, your hair is really gross." I give him a look before closing the bathroom door, hearing him laugh.
I take a quick shower, putting on leggings and a tee, following him out to his car. We go to a soup and sandwich place, sitting outside. I order soup, eating about half of it before I can't do it anymore. Austin finishes it, biting back a comment. "I know what you aren't saying," I say softly, bringing one knee up and resting my chin on it. "I'm sorry about this entire situation, mom is awful for doing this to you, she did admit that you had seemed happier the last few weeks. Everyone could see it." I nod, ripping up my baguet into tiny pieces.
"They're having a Livestream in about an hour. We can watch it together." He tells me, giving me a smile. "I'd like that." I nod, following him out to his car and we drive home, going into the movie theatre. He gets it all set up while I text Luke, telling him I'd be watching. He tells me that he loves me, then the Livestream begins. They were late, of course, but no one is surprised. They come out dressed as the teenage mutant ninja turtles, Luke looking happy.
I laughed and cried through the Livestream, the boys having a good time messing around. Austin leaves after, Luke face timing me soon after. "Hey, Luke," I answer, giving him a smile. "Hey, baby. What'd you think?" I nod, trying not to cry again. "You guys did so good," I tell him, wiping under my eyes. "Why are you crying?" He asks, frowning. "I just miss you guys and messing around with all of you." I shrug, taking a deep breath. He nods, giving me a smile. "We miss you, too. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute and see what you thought, I do have to go to bed though, I'll talk to you later." I nod, giving him a smile. "I love you," I tell him watching him smile. "I love you, too." We hang up and I watch the Livestream again.
---
Another week passes, I shower a few times, but I'm still barely eating. I spend most of my day sleeping or watching tv, barely leaving my room. Luke facetime's me, smiling when I answer. "Hey, baby." "Hi, Lukey." I give him a small smile, fixing my comforter around me. "Have you eaten today?" He asks, his smile falling. I shake my head, not looking at my phone. "Can you please go eat something, Dyl?" "I'm not hungry," I mumble, chewing on my lip. "Please? For me? I know you're sad and missing me, I miss you like hell too, but I don't want you to accidentally end up in the hospital." I deflate, knowing he was right. I nod, grabbing my fuzzy blanket as I sit up, wrapping it around myself.
I warm up some of my leftover pasta, eating it alone at the table. "Thank you," Luke says as I eat, giving me a small smile. "It's just depressing being in this house all alone and every person I hang out with is across the country." "I'm so sorry," Luke says softly, looking down. I hear a door open from Luke's end, Luke looking up. Ashton appears on the screen suddenly, giving me a smile. "How are you doing?" He asks. I shrug, wrapping the blanket around me tighter. "Just a few more months. You've got this." He assures me. "Have you guys found a time to come visit me?" I ask, changing the subject. "Maybe. We just need to make sure your mom doesn't catch on." I nod, sighing. "I'm going to go, I'll talk to you soon, Dyl," Ashton says, leaving.
"We've got this, Dyl. Don't think about it too much. We will figure this out. I promised you." I nod, giving Luke a smile. "I just miss you." "I miss you too, we're doing our best. I've got to go, your mom should be here soon and I don't want to get caught, I love you." "I love you too." We hang up and I put my dishes in the dishwasher, going back to my room.
---
Luke's POV
I hang up with Dylan, Ashton coming back in. "She's not looking too good, man." He says, sitting next to me. I nod, rubbing my face. "I can only do so much from here, I got her to eat but I can't do that every time she needs to eat a meal and I don't want to stick her brother on her on babysitting duty. According to Austin, she's done something like this before, but that's when she tried to kill herself so we're just really worried, like, she's just really in her head about this and I can't do anything." I sigh, her mom walking in.
"Germany is next, make sure you're packed before morning, that's when we leave." She announces, Blake walking in, ignoring her. She leaves, Blake turned to me. "How is she?" He asks, worry crossing his face. I sigh, slumping. "I got her to eat some pasta, but she's taking this pretty hard and I can only do so much from here." He nods, sighing. "She's done this a few times, only one of the times being bad enough, you know the story. I'm hoping this is more along the lines of how things went after our brother died. It took a few weeks but she got herself back up eventually." I nod, looking down. "I think I'm going to head back to my room to pack, I'll see you later.
I cross paths with Dylan's mom, and she stops me. "You knew my rule about dating my daughter yet you still did, why?" I stare at her, knowing I didn't want to make her any madder. "No one can help how they feel about someone. We both love each other and we wanted to be together, even if it meant getting separated if we were caught." I don't mention that we are still talking, fearing that she somehow has the power of turning off Dylan's phone. "I know your boyband type. All you do is break hearts and I don't want to see is her more hurt than she already is. She's been through a lot, for only being seventeen. A lot more than most kids her age." "I get that. I want to be there for her, she's important to me, I love her beyond words. The last thing I want to see is Dylan hurt, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I ever hurt her." She stares at me for a moment before speaking. "That's what the last boy said." She sighs, leaving me alone in the hall.
I stand there in silence, staring after her. I finally continue heading to my room, thoughts swimming through my head.