SONG JI-WON'S POV
I can't hold back my gentle gasp as Hoseok peels back his hands from my eyes. I blink a few times to adjust to seeing again, after going up an elevator and crossing rooms with my sight covered. A grin quickly spreads on my lips.
"We're having a rooftop dinner?" I ask rhetorically, looking to Hoseok. He grins back, but oddly doesn't look as proud as I'd expect. On another day in this situation, he'd be cockily bragging about how he got this together. But no, rather than that he humbly nods and puts his hand on the small of my back, leading my forward to our table. Something seems a bit off, but I decide not to dwell over it.
Our small yet classy table is right near the edge of the roof, looking out over our beautiful city. It's a breathtaking view, and goosebumps veil my arms in awe.
"Hoseok, this is amazing." I chuckle softly, not daring to blink. "But there's no way in hell or heaven that it's free."
He smirks a little while we sit down. "Well, it's free for us."
My eyes widen and instantly shift to him. "You made your parents pay for everything? Was there really even a discount??"
He laughs and ignores me. "Stop asking so many questions." Before I can retort, he calls a waiter over. I stare at him in disbelief, but scoff a chuckle nonetheless. This adorable, try-hard dumbass. It's really sweet of him, even if his parents' paycheck suffers.
The waiter offers to take a few pictures of us and we gladly comply, doing a couple of poses, including a side hug. We always hug, basically every day, but in this setting, while Jungkook and I are having problems, I'll admit it doesn't feel quite right. Unfair in a way.
The menu is huge, so I politely let the waiter know that I'll need a few minutes to decide. Psh, more like an hour. How am I expected to make a decision?
Hoseok, on the other hand, orders right off the bat. "I'll have the Sundubu Jjigae, and a large samgyeopsal to share. Goguma mattang too?" He asks, looking to me for approval. Before I can even reply, he nods decidedly. "Yeah, let's add that. Ji-won, you probably want Japchae?"
I gasp softly, trying to suppress my excitement. "They have that here?" I haven't eaten Japchae in so many years, but's it's always been a favorite of mine. The fact that he remembers makes me smile. The waiter quickly jots down our order and briskly walks away.
"How the hell did you already know our whole order?" I ask somewhat suspiciously, eyeing him with a small grin.
He shrugs. "I looked online beforehand." I shake my head and giggle.
"You're the definition on extra. It's great though, really, thank you for all this." I say, softly nudging his feet with mine.
He smiles back, but the grin doesn't reach his eyes, I don't see his small dimples. His gaze in clouded, when it's usually a beautiful, comforting shine. I desperately hope that it's something else, and not him still pondering his misfortune with me. I truly hope he can get past it. It has to be something else...
What am I thinking?? He's my best friend, I'm allowed to voice my thoughts with him. No need to hold back.
"Is something wrong?" I ask quietly, the question coming out a tad more shy than I wanted. He blinks, and in his short moment of hesitation, I know whatever he's about to reply with is a lie.
"No, how come?" He asks casually. I suppress a sigh. Why does he find the need to lie to me?
I push it all aside and just offer a soft smile. "Nothing. But..." I continue, suddenly noticing something off about his order from earlier. "I thought you didn't like gochujang. How come you're getting the jjigae with it?"
He laughs. "So your logic is that if my tastebuds have changed at all in the last 5 years, then something must be wrong?"
I roll my eyes playfully and lightly kick his shin. "Shut up, I just didn't realize you were fond of it now."
"Truth is..." he says, lowering his voice and leaning closer across the table, as if he's about to tell me a secret. "I'm not."
There's a moment of silence as I just stare back at him while furrowing my eyebrows, wildly confused. "Then wh-"
"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a few minutes." He interrupts me, getting up with a tiny grin dancing on his lips. I don't even get the chance to question him as he walks off, leaving me dumbfounded in my seat, alone on the roof with twinkling stars as my only companions.
What's up with him?
I hold my head up in my hands, elbows resting on the table, and I ponder this odd situation. I'm probably being over dramatic, but he's just being kind of weird...
I end up zoning out, since Hoseok is taking longer than I expected. 3 minutes turns into 5, then 7... I lose track as I stare off into the city, the lights all bluring together in a beautiful mural of bright colors, looking like a modern sea. The wind relaxes me and my mind wanders off.
Finally, I hear near footsteps, coming closer. I blink back into reality and turn my gaze to him. "God, Hoseok, that was a long shit you too-" I gasp before I can finish my sentence, choking on my words before they can leave my mouth. I'm so shocked that I literally fall backward on my chair from flinching so intensely. I let out a shreilbas I come crashing to the ground.
I shut my eyes tightly in abrupt fear, but the impact never comes. After waiting a few moments for my heart to start beating again, I slowly open my eyes, to see Jungkook's hands tightly gripping the sides of the chair, to keep me from falling. He stares at me with an unreadable expression- not smiling, but not sad or angry, no furrowed eyebrows or nervous lips. Blank, yet his eyes shimmer a bit.
I clear my throat after a few moments too long of unblinking, unmoving silence, my heart picking up its pace exponentially. I haven't seen him in a whole 10 days, we haven't communicated at all. The last time I saw him he was sobbing, cursing and me, and shoving Hoseok. I don't know how to react to his sudden presence. "Thanks." I say softly, slowly uprighting my chair. He flinched his hand away, awkwardly putting them at his sides.
We're silent for some long moments, staring at each other, unsure of how to continue.
"How did you know I was here?"
"I have so much to explain."
We speak at the same time. He's about to reply when I do first. "Then explain." I say, trying to be firm, but I'm sure he hears my hesitation. He can wait to explain how he found me, but first I need to know what happened.
He sighs for a moment, before sitting down across from me. "My brother, he-"
"First, why did you push Hoseok that day?" I ask, interrupting. The main thing I need to understand is where his violence came from.
He scoffs softly, shaking his head. "I wasn't in my right mind, if you couldn't tell. It was just all too overwhelming, and when he grabbed me I reacted the only way I could at the moment. I shouldn't have, I know that..." he gazes at me seriously. "And I'm so sorry for shoving you off, and saying that to you. I should've controlled my temper, I didn't mean it. I'm really sorry." He breaks the eye contact with me, looking off to the side. As much as it bothers me, I understand that it's hard when he's apologizing like this.
I look down at the table, also too weak to continue staring at him. "I get that, it wasn't really you. I'm sorry that I yelled at you over the phone instead of listening, too." I say, and we both glance back up at each other at the same time. "But I don't want you hurting Hoseok anymore, in any way. I'm serious." I warn, keeping a stern gaze. He waits to reply, a second too long.
"Yeah, I'm done. At this point I just want things to be better with him too. Actually," he adds, grinning the faintest bit. "He helped me with all this."
I blink, furrowing my eyebrows. "Wait, what?"
He chuckles sheepishly. "Yeah, I didn't just find you, together we planned this whole little meet up. I mean, mostly me, but I guess he played a part too..."
My mouth hangs open in shock, and I can't help but smile a bit. "You asked him for help? And he actually helped you??"
I even see him blush. "I had no choice, it wouldn't work with anyone else."
I grin and kick his shin gently under the table, some of my tension floating away. "I'm proud of you, you reached out to him."
"Barely." He insists. I roll my eyes, but genuinely I'm so glad that they did something positive together.
Before we can continue, the waiter comes along with a big tray of food. He swiftly passes out all the meals and leaves, leaving me anticipated to eat.
"Wait..." I say, eyeing the plate in front of him. "Gochujang..." I scoff a chuckle, shaking my head at my density. "Hoseok's always hated it, of course it wasn't for him. You made him order your food."
He flushed pink once again, an innocent little grin playing at his lips. "That's just how the plan worked out."
"I can just imagine you sending a whole ass order for him to recite till memorization." I say, chuckling softly. His reply of silence confirms that's exactly what happened. I cover my face as I stifle laughter.
"I did it for you." He insists, softly kicking my shin back.
"For you too," I joke. "But thank you. This is all really thoughtful."
"I spent all my free time at the hospital thinking it up, you're welcome." He smiles.
Mine fades a bit, and I sigh, needing to get back to the serious topic. "What happened there, Jungkook?"
His face slowly goes serious again too, and his leg starts to bounce nervously. "Well..." he takes a breath. "My mom was the person to call me that day. She broke the news to me... that, uh..."
"You can talk to me, it's okay." I tell him, meaning every word. He bites his lips for a moment, looking pained.
"My brother tried to kill himself."
I gasp, my heart sinking and an influx of guilt overwhelming me. You didn't even try to help, you made him feel worse when he was already in so much pain.
"I'm so sorry." I say, apologizing for more than one thing.
"It was an overdose... He's alive, but not really." He explains vaguely, gaze trailing faraway. "A coma."
My fists clench in my lap, pain for him searing through me. "Jungkook..."
"60:40 ratio, life or death." He struggles to say, his voice going quiet. My breathing goes slower, and I suddenly see him so fragile. If I touch him he'll break, like before. I hesitate, my fingers flinching. Be there for him, he needs you...
I reach for his hand on the table and hold it tightly, warmly. He squeezes back.
He finally lets everything out, telling me about everything that happened in Busan. He confesses everything he felt, how he thought he was really going insane under all the stress. How his parents blamed him severely for it, how they would never stop arguing with each other, blaming the other of bad parenting, and everything in between. We talk until our untouched food goes cold, but I couldn't care less.
He doesn't cry once during the rough monologue, just proving how strong his is in the midst of all this. I notice how puffy his eye are though, and I'm sure they sting. He must've cried all the tears left in him that week.
Our hands don't part the entire time.
At the end, we spend some long moments staring at each other, processing everything fully.
"If you can forgive me for being an asshole girlfriend during all this..." I say, lacing my fingers in his. "I swear I'll do better. I swear I won't leave you hurting alone anymore."
His gaze makes my heart flutter, but his silence makes me nervous. He stands up from his chair, walking over to me. He gently pulls my hand so that I'm standing as he says "You already know my answer to that." He says softly as he slides his free arm around the small of my back, pulling me into him.
I almost forgot how his soft lips felt, and I instantly melt into him, eyes fluttering closed and passion matching his. I bring a hand to his face, gently holding it and kissing him longingly.
He pulls away for a moment. "I missed you." He says, letting go of my hand to hug me, picking me off the ground a bit. I laugh and lean my cheek again his shoulder, pecking his neck.
"I missed you too."
He sets me down, arms draped around my waist. "So much that you went on a date with Hoseok while I was gone." He teases.
"It was your dumbass plan." I say, playfully hitting his chest. "It wasn't even a date anyways."
"Is it now?" He asks, cocking his head to the side adorably.
"Sure, if you want it to be." I reply, grinning up at him.
"Then its officially our first date."
"Sneaky, complicated, classy. I love it." I say.
"I love you." He says smoothly, and I cringe warmly.
"You cheesy shit, I love you too." I say, smiling against his lips as I pull him back to me.
Our relationship confuses me. We're good, we have problems, we get petty, and then just like that we're good again. I don't know how it works, but it does and I'm thankful for that. I really did miss him, despite everything.
I could go on like this forever.