Lotus Flower,
Once I was done reading the email, all I could do was stare at it in shock.
Health? What's wrong with your health? It's just a cold right? I mean there's no way - that's just impossible... Forgetting that ridiculous thought, I relaxed my shaking hands and began to type.
"Noah, what's wrong? Are you alright? You'll get better soon right?"
It felt like hours before you finally emailed me back, when it was probably only a few minutes.
"I'm fine. I'll get better soon."
I'm not sure why, but I'd this gut feeling you were lying. So I asked again.
"You sure?"
"Yes^^ I'll be out in no time, just in time for your birthday :)"
He knew? Okay, of course he knew. Facebook probably sent him a reminder.
"Oh yeah my birthday."
Even though it was my birthday, I wasn't really too excited about it.
"You don't seem excited. What's wrong?"
It was just like you to know. You could always tell when I wasn't myself.
"Well it's just that I'm getting older :/"
"Boo, you're not old. You're beautiful^^ Plus, I'll be turning seventeen, eight days after you."
"I know... but still."
"Cheer up sweetheart :) Because guess what?"
"What?"
"After your weekend out with your friends, it will be just you and me^^"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm taking you out on our first date^^"
Just reading about the word date made me blush a deep red. Then it hit me. Wait... a minute, date?
"Oh my God, really? We finally get to meet?"I
know what you're thinking... but I couldn't help it! I was just way too excited!"
Yup! Your wish will finally come true ;) You get to see me^^"
"Pssh, I'd never wished for that!"
"Uh huh... now just keep your calendar free this Monday."
"Will do! Where are we meeting?"
"At my school. It would be easier that way since you know where it is right?"
"Of course, it's only an hour away from where I live."
"Good :) Until then my love ;) Remember that I will always love you^^"
"I will :) Love you too <3"
Even though our conversation ended there, I was content and happy. I was able to fall asleep with a smile on my face that night.
***
Six days later, I was parked in Tri-State High's parking lot. This was it, the day I finally get to meet you. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down. After counting to ten in my head, I glanced at myself in my rear-view mirror once last time, hoping I looked okay.
Opening the car's door, a cold breeze hit me suddenly, making me shiver. Pulling my jacket closer to me, I made my way up towards the school's entrance.
Seeing a figure up ahead, my smile brighten. You were here. But once I got closer, I realized you had black hair instead of blonde and you had soft ocean blue eyes instead of warm chocolate brown eyes.
"Adrian?" I blinked slowly. Why was he here instead of you?
"Hey." He waved.
"What are you doing here?" I asked slightly confused. "Where's Noah?"
He grimaced, avoiding eye contact with me. "Um... he couldn't make it."
"What do you mean?"
"Violet... h-he tried so hard for you... but-"
"Adrian, what do you mean?" I probed cutting him off.
"I-I can't say." He looked away, sucking in a big gulp of air. "But maybe Noah can tell you."
"Huh?"
"Here," he said pulling out an envelope from his back pocket. "He wanted you to read this."
Grabbing it, I teared the envelope apart, as my eyes landed on your neat handwriting.
Dear Violet,
You're probably wondering why Adrian is meeting you instead of me. The truth?
I'd been lying to you this whole time - not the part about me loving you though. That was never a lie. I guess I should start from the beginning.
Remember that time when I told you I was leaving Facebook? Adrian probably told you I was busy with school or with work or something - but that wasn't true. I was in the hospital.
I got better though, that's why I was able to leave. At that point I realized life's too short. So I finally got the courage to ask you out.
You have no idea how happy I was when you said yes. I was finally able to enjoy life again, but sadly that didn't last too long. About two weeks ago, I was rushed towards the hospital again. This time, I didn't get the good news I was hoping for.
They said I wouldn't live past my birthday.
I knew you were freaking out when I didn't answer you back. You'd probably thought I was ignoring you or something right? That's why I knew you would eventually ask Adrian about it. So I made him promise me - that he would never ever tell you where I was. So don't blame him for lying to you - blame me.
Adrian did what you said and found me that afternoon. He begged me to tell you, but I just couldn't. I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to get hurt. But being him, he wanted me to at least talk to you, so I did. I sent you that email.
I knew I shouldn't have said anything about my health, but the damage was done. So I switched the topic to your birthday. When I told you we could meet, I knew I was making a promise that I couldn't keep, but I kept on praying, praying to God that I would make it until then. If you're reading this letter now, that means I didn't make it.
You're probably crying by now. You were always a big softy, but please be strong for me. Even though I'm not here with you anymore, that doesn't mean I'm not watching over you. Every time you listen to 'Ti Amo' just know I'm listening with you. Every time you cry just know you're breaking my heart all over again, so please smile for me? Be the strong girl I know you are.
Before I end this letter, please promise me one thing. Let me go and move on. I don't want you hurting. Even though you're not mine anymore, at least you're happy. If you're happy, I'm happy.
So with this, goodbye Violet, I will forever love you.
Love,
Noah.
Suddenly a pair of strong arms surrounded me, engulfing me in a tight embrace.
"Please don't cry," Adrian begged. His voice sounded like he was on the verge of tears as well. "Don't cry..."
I didn't even realized I was crying, until I felt the hot, salty tears rolling down my cheeks one by one. They landed on Adrian's shirt, disappearing, creating a small stain. His hands rubbed circles around my back, trying to comfort me, as he whispered, "It's gonna be okay."
But it wasn't, it's never going to be okay.
"I-I how?" I managed to choked out, blinking some tears away.
"He had valvular heart disease," he said softly, afraid I would snap any second. "He passed away two days ago."
Hearing the words 'passed away' did it.
"No... he's fine! I know he is!" I screeched out, pushing him away from me. "This is all a sick joke! He can't be..." I paused, choking back a sob, "gone."
"I'm sorry." He took a step forward, reaching for me, when I took a step back. His eyes flashed hurt. "It's true."
"No, it's not!"
It's not true... it's not true... it can't be true!
That was the last time I saw Adrian, or anyone else for that matter. I refused to do anything- well that was until Adrian decided enough was enough.
Love,
Violet