Harry's POV
.
.
The day was only half over, and it was already going way too slow. I was tired and just really, really wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep for ten years. But no, learning useless crap in school was way more important apparently. Third period ticked by, then fourth, then fifth, until it was finally lunch.
Grabbing my bag, I quickly left the classroom to get to the library as fast as possible. I wanted to see Louis; only having one class with him wasn't enough. When I opened the door and walked to the back, where the four of us eat lunch, I was greeted by an unexpected guest.
"Hey, Harry," started Niall, a little uneasy, "I told Zayn that he could sit with us."
I looked over at Zayn, who was seated next to Niall around the square table. He wasn't looking at me. I glared at Louis, expecting an explanation as to why Zayn, Zayn mother flipping Malik, the man who made my life hell for years, was willingly invited to our table.
Louis stood, and gently nudged me behind a book shelf, away from anyone who could listen in.
"Okay, listen-" he began, but I cut him off.
"Zayn? Really? Why would he even want to sit with us?" I whisper-yelled. Louis sighed.
"I think he's changed," muttered Louis, folding his arms over his chest.
"This is Zayn, Louis. I don't care about what happened in the bathroom, he's still Zayn. He's a homophobic douchebag, and if you forgot, you happen to be gay, so is Niall, and I'm... well, I don't know, but you get my point," I ranted, my face flushed with anger.
"Harry, I think he's changed, alright? He and Niall have gotten really close, and he's warming up to things. Just give him another chance, please?"
I rolled my eyes, thinking it through. I hated Zayn, there's no way. But just one more chance, just one? I could handle that. Maybe.
"Fine," I finally gave in, and Louis smiled, taking my hands in his and swinging them from side to side.
"Good." Louis pecked my lips. I kissed him back three more times.
We walked back to the table, where all three of them were talking among each other. Louis sat in his usual seat, and I sat in mine. As I pulled out my chair, four times, I was worried Zayn would say something. I thought he might cave into his old habits and call me a freak, or worse. But he stayed silent.
One more chance.
.
*
.
It was late when I finally got to Louis's house. He invited me over to study, but I had to clean my bathroom, which took 2 hours. My hands were sore from scrubbing the wall, but I just couldn't stop. I kept thinking about Zayn, and how he could be planning out how to sabotage everything from the inside out, now that everyone else in our gang welcomed him in without a second thought.
The sky was dark, and the air was cold. He was waiting for me up in his room. When I opened his door, I saw him at his desk, working on homework. He turned around, and when he saw it was me, he smiled.
"Hi!" he said, standing up and greeting me with a light kiss, then three more. He took my school bag, setting it on his bed and going back to his chair. I sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Okay, what's on your mind?" Louis said, swiveling his chair around. I hadn't said anything, but I really wasn't planning on it.
"Nothing, just tired," I lied, playing with the hem of my shirt. Louis's face told me he didn't buy it, but he stayed quiet. I took out my homework, and started working on it quietly, while Louis continued to stare at me. He moved from his chair, and I could feel the bed dip down when he sat next to me. I finally looked at him.
"What?" my tone was harsher than I meant it to be, but Louis didn't seem hazed by it. He took the paper from my hand, setting it aside. He gently took my hands in his, bringing them to his lips, kissing them, twice. He rolled up my sleeves, exposing my skin. He turned my wrists over, looking them over. No new scars, no new cuts.
But he was looking in the wrong place.
Louis put his cold hand on my cheek, and I connected our eyes. "Hey, if you ever want to tell me anything, you know you can," Louis said, looking serious. I nodded. I knew I could.
He leaned into me, pressing a soft kiss against my lips. I responded by deepening the kiss, tangling my hands in his chestnut locks. He moved his lips across my neck, pressing kisses as he went. It felt nice. "You're so pretty," he said between kisses, taking a moment to look into my eyes.
He was too hard to resist, and I threw my arms around his neck, the force making us fall back. He was pinned underneath me, his back flat on the mattress. Kissing him deeply, I heard him moan under his breath. I nibbled at his jaw, running my hand down to the bottom of his shirt. I tugged on it lightly, and Louis nodded, yanking the shirt off over his head. I let my hands run down his bare torso, kissing his collar bone, making him shiver from the sensation. He tugged at my curls, leaning me into his lips. We moved in rhythm, our kiss tender and slow. Louis found the buckle on my jeans, and he began to undue them. I agreed, fumbling with them, my breathing rigid. He claimed my mouth again as I stripped from my pants, leaving me in my boxers, straddling a shirtless Louis. Then there was a knock on the door.
Louis sprang up from under me, and I quickly grabbed his covers. "Y-yes?" Louis stuttered, pulling on his shirt.
"I wanted to bring you two some snacks!" cheered his mum through the door. Louis looked at me with red hot cheeks and ruffled hair. I reached over, patting his hair down slightly, then nodding to him. He shuffled over to the door. He opened it up a sliver, so only his head was poking out, but his mum pushed the door fully open.
"Hi Harry!" she called, handing Louis a plate of fruit. It was quiet for a second.
"I should probably be going, I, it's late," I said, glancing at the clock. It was almost midnight. Yeah, it was late.
"You can just stay the night if you want, Harry. It's Friday anyway," said Louis's mum, a big grin on her face.
"Um, I-"
"Yeah, yeah Harry, just stay the night!" he winked at me, "Okay, thanks mum, love you!" Louis exclaimed, before lightly nudging her out of the door, a confused expression on her face. When the door was shut, Louis let out a relieved sigh and turned back to me. He was still flushed.
"Um... so," Louis ran his hand through his hair, making it messy again.
I wanted to carry on from where that was going, because Louis was hot, and I really wanted him to kiss me again, but Louis awkwardly sat on the opposite side of his bed, across from me. "Sorry about that," he said, clearing his throat.
"No, no its fine, not your fault." There was a pause, before Louis laid down, pulling some of the duvet towards him. I realized I was still just in my briefs, so I tried to pull some of the covers back. Louis laughed.
"Modest, much?" I shrugged, and he sat back up, looked me up and down, before shrugging his shoulder.
"Well, you shouldn't be," and there was that wink again. Damn, he was trying to kill me. He grinned at me, and I chuckled.
"Mum ruined the mood, eh?" Louis said, putting a pillow over his face, embarrassed. "I mean, she certainly didn't enhance it," I replied. Louis laughed.
"We could still make out though..." I suggested. Louis sat up, smiling at me. He leaned over, pressing his lips to mine, gently at first. He laid back down, me on top of him. We kissed deeply and slowly for a while, letting our mouths move in sync.
Louis ran his hands down my chest, and made his way to my bum. He grabbed it firmly, as I sucked on his neck. His hands went up, up to my back, my stomach, and then down. He traced his fingers lightly across my skin, making the hairs on my arms dance. I yanked at his hair, still kissing him slowly, with passion and not just eagerness. His fingers went down, down to my thighs.
Oh no, my thighs.
My eyes went wide, and I looked down at Louis; he was staring at my legs, tracing over the scars with his fingertips.
"Harry..." he said, before I jumped off of him. He grabbed my wrist, hard, and pulled me back. He looked at my thighs, my legs, and every spot off skin that was newly scared.
"Harry," he sounded mad, "How could you do this?"
He let go, and I stood up from the bed, holding my sore wrist in my hand. He stood up too, so that we were across from one another.
"You promised, Harry! You promised you wouldn't cut again!" he yelled, angry. I flinched at his tone, cowardly.
"I-I said t-that I'd try," I responded, honestly.
"Well you didn't try very hard then, did you? While I was sitting around, thinking that you were okay, you've been slicing your legs open! Why? I thought you were good Harry, I thought... I thought," Louis put his head in his hands, and yanked at his hair with frustration.
My eyes were watery, and my breathing sped up. Louis was scaring me. He was really, really scaring me.
"How long has this been going on, huh? Tell me!" he yelled, making my head hurt. Louis was angry at me. I was angry at me. My head hurt, and my breathing was heavy.
"I-I don't know-w... and f-few months, maybe," my voice was small compared to Louis's.
"Months?" Louis hollered, and I finally broke down. I slid down the wall, tears falling down my cheeks as I tried to control my breathing. Louis was so mad, he would break up with me.
He didn't want you in the first place.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
.
*
.
Louis's POV
I was furious, I was just so, so angry. How could he... he was so perfect. Didn't he know how much he meant to me? I loved him so, so much, yet he still hurt himself. Why would someone so perfect want to do that?
But as Harry began to break down, I realized how terrible I had reacted. He did it because he still felt this weight on his shoulders, keeping him down. He was shaking and his breaths were short and airy. I really screwed up. Oh no, no, no. I fucked up big time.
"Harry, shh, don't... just... I'm sorry, I'm not mad," I tried to say, walking towards him slowly. He wasn't listening. He was too busy shaking and crying and it was my fault. I was stubborn and stupid. I kneeled in front of him, and gently put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched.
He flinched.
"Don't... don't hurt me, please," Harry sobbed out, shrinking into himself.
How could I have said those things? He was hurting, and I wasn't there for him.
"I'm not going to hurt you Harry, not now, not ever. Do you understand? I love you Harry, I love you so much, and I just... I over reacted, and I'm so sorry. Please just, just breathe."
He was heaving, and all I could think was please, please not another panic attack.
Then Harry lifted his eyes up, and he met mine. His breathing was still heavy, and he was still shaking, but I could see in his eyes that he was okay.
"O-okay," stuttered Harry after a pause.
I put my hand on his cheek, and he didn't flinch. Tucking a piece of curly locks behind his ear, I pulled him into a hug. Slowly, he began to calm down. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever, Harry clinging to me while I pet his hair gently. His breathing evened out, and I looked him in the eyes.
"We're okay, Harry," I whispered. He nodded.
"I-I'm sorry, for... for my thighs," he muttered back. I sighed. "No, no Harry. You're fine. I need to pay more attention. I need to be there for you, always. Okay? I love you," I said, looking him in the eyes so he knew I meant it. I kissed his forehead lightly.
"I love you too."
.
*
.
Harry's POV
Louis's hands were soft in mine. I loved his hands. We walked through the park, both of us bundled up in sweaters and scarfs. I had one of Louis's earphones in, listening to some post-rock song that was more percussion and off beat guitar solos than it was singing, but I didn't mind. He smiled at me, and I snuggled into him.
"Hey," Louis said, taking out his earphone. I did the same. Louis was looking towards the parking lot.
"Is that Zayn?" Louis said, pointing to a boy sitting on the hood of a yellow car. The boy definitely resembled Zayn, but I wasn't completely convinced. That was until another car pulled up next to him, and out stepped Niall. Louis and I both looked at each other. The two boys hugged tightly.
"Uhh... maybe we should go," offered Louis.
"Yeah, yeah let's go," I replied. We turned away from the parking lot, making our way to a separate part of the nearly vacant park.
Zayn and Niall.... Hmm.
.
*
.
A/N
Wanna hear a joke? Harry Styles walks into a gay bar.... Oh wait...
I know... it's been a while. I'm really busy with school and these musicals and stuff, so, sorry.
Vote/comment for more!!!