A/N: Had to do it as the good lord intended.
Also, if I see ANY, even as a joke because of me saying this, about Hitler's birthday, I'm deleting it immediately.
(I will not.)
Disclaimer: I just want it on record that I do not condone the usage of marijuana unless the person absolutely needs it. This chapter isn't meant to promote weed in any form to any of you. This chapter will also contain highly offensive jokes and references that may not be suitable for everyone.
If you wish to ignore this chapter, that's fine, as the entirety of it is meant as a joke. Any jokes I myself make on the matter is all in good fun and not meant to be taken seriously.
So, with that out of the way, and for those who choose to keep reading, let's get this started.
/////
"Hey guys, you ready for a small viewing?" Z said as he walked up to the group with a chill look in his eyes.
"Have been for we-wait, what's that in your hand?" Kirishima asked, pointing to the God's right hand.
In it he held a pen sized device that seemed to be stylized like a cigarette but out of metal that seemed to have smoke coming out of it. It was a bright chrome that had a tiny amount of liquid that was of an unknown origin, at least by first glance. Z noticed their confusion, and instantly knew he was talking about the thing in his hand, which he had to face sooner or later.
"Sorry, this is my vape pen." Z said, presenting the pen fully towards the group.
The audience, specifically the parents and/or guardians, were surprised at someone so young having a device for such a use. While it wasn't unusual to see someone have something like that openly, it was still odd to see if with someone so young and in the presence of children. For whatever reason or another Z may have it, it still wasn't responsible for him to have that here, even if here was a void in time and space.
"Excuse me, but can you explain why you have that here?" Mandalay asked, slightly angered.
"What even is it?" Mina asked, not recognizing it.
"It's a vaporizer. It turns the liquid in it into gas that can be smoked, similar to a cigarette, but the most common use is for marijuana." Aizawl explained.
(I'm well aware that I may be inaccurate with what I just described, but understand the closest thing i know about the pens is that they make the air smell like their content. Frankly, I'm annoyed by them.)
...
Everyone slowly turned to the shaggy teacher with surprised expressions as to how he knows such a device and it's use. Z just turned to him with a curious gaze, his mind thinking back to a certain conversation, specifically a bet he made with Zeik.
'Damn, now I owe Zeik $20. I really thought if anyone knew about weed it'd be either Shoto or All Might.' Z thought in disappointment.
"How on Earth do you know what that is!?" Present Mic asked, surprised that his friend, whom he's known since their teen years, would use that.
"Life as a teacher is very stressful and drinking is way too damaging to me. Besides, it's for medical reasons as well, not just to get high." Aizawa defended.
"He's right, it's been show to do less damage than that of alcohol and has even been used for many medical treatments. I myself have seen the miracle of what marijuana can be done to help others." Recovery Girl said, adjusting her goggles.
"Can we maybe stop this until Eri and Kota aren't within earshot!?" Mandalay shouted as she gestured to the kids in question.
SNAP!
Without much effort, the 2 kids had their eyes covered along with their ears with large headphones.
"Is it weird how we're all just accepting of that now?" Mirio asked, only slightly less concerned that the young girl was forcibly hidden from the sights.
"I just thought that was part of the course with all this." Kendo's said, not as bothered as she originally was when that began happening.
"Hey, it just occurred to me, what are they listening too anyway?" Jiro asked, referring to the headphones. Z did nothing as, after he put away his pen, walked over and held out one of Eri's headphones.
"Whoa, that sounds awesome!" Kirishima said, enjoying the music along with the others.
"Yeah, these headphones play randomized music perfectly tailored to the wearer. It keeps them happy and excited as long as they have them on." Z said, patting Eri's head as the young girl smiled.
"Man, I wanted to hear more of that music. It's been a while since we heard some good music." Jiro said, looking down in disappointment.
"Funny you should say that, as this special video, er I mean, world, is music based." Z said, slightly messing up his words for a second.
This perked everyone up since they have all been eager to watch another world for a while. They don't know what Z actually does when he isn't here, but they did wonder if it was a good excuse for being gone for so long. It gets boring without a world to watch or a new one to discuss, and then there's the overall possibilities. He was the one who brought them there, yet it feels like it's been months since they've seen anything!
(See? I noticed I've been gone a while. Been busy fighting the Coronavirus.)
"Are we going to like it?" Kaminari asked, almost feeling that it was a dumb question.
"That's a dumb question." Jiro told the boy, who slumped in his seat.
"Not really dumb, more like... complicated to answer. It makes more sense to watch it and then speak your thoughts." Z said, his "eyes" shifting nervously.
"Then what are we waiting for!? Let's start it!" Ochako shouted with excitement with the others feeling her energy.
With that, everyone took their seats, even Z, who for some reason was sitting 6ft away from the rest of them. Even if it was confusing, the video began and their attention was immediately lost as they paid attention.
The screen opened up to a much, much younger version of Izuku, who seemed to be an infant. He wore black suspenders and an emerald green undershirt as most of his hair isn't as long as his future self. Next to him was someone of similar height, but seemed to have the features of a dog. From ears to a tail, he was very close, if not for a familiar set of glasses on his large snout.
"Aw, he looks so cute!" Melissa said, like the other girls, gushing at how adorable Izuku looked.
"Hah, I remember that time. He was so happy and excited all the time. Where does the time go?" Inko said, a look of nostalgia on her smiling face.
"Whoa, Iida, it's you! With a dog quirk!" Ochako said as the tall teen was surprised to see himself there as well.
"It appears so. And even here I seem to be Midoriya's friend. That makes me happy." Iida said, smiling that he still can be friends with the greenete in other universe.
Izuku: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would
When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good
Everyone began tapping their feet and clapping their hands along with the beat. The background band with the duo was well trained and knew how to play a catchy song. Z noticed this and shook his head as an invisible smile crept onto his face.
'They're going to hate what's next...' he thought, occasionally taking hits from his pen.
Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick
Izuku & Tenya: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick!!!
...
...
...
"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Everyone shouted at once at the lyrics.
"Why is my baby promoting drugs!?!?" Inko yelled with a waterfall of tears.
"Why am I promoting with him!?" Tenya yelled in confusion.
"Isn't Midoriya a baby here!? How can he know or even think it's OK to speak openly about that!?" All Might asked in confusion.
Z could see this was getting out of hand, and this video just started. Even as a joke, he'd like to get the ball rolling faster instead of them freaking out over the first few lines.
CLAP!
Everyone flew back at the sudden force of Z's clap, Mineta even flying out of his chair by it!
All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
It's the only hope that you'll ever need
Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
"Why the Hell are people joining in?! Don't they know he's a baby promoting weed?!" Mountain Lady.
"Thing is, they don't." Z said, leaning back in his seat.
"What do you mean? Isn't it obvious?" Ibarra asked, confused.
"Well not all babies are able to easily stand up, have a perfect speaking voice, and perform a complex dance routine. Probably confused him with a smaller person." Z explained as he refilled his pen.
They couldn't argue with that, but regardless, it's still bizarre and uncomfortable to see.
Izuku: Here you go, you're all getting it now
Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good,
Izuku: They go assault a queer.
"Is he assaulting a homosexual!?" Recovery Girl asked, shocked by the sight.
"It's meant as a joke, a dark joke, but a joke. He's not in any danger and he wasn't really hurting him." Z explained.
"Why are you so calm watching this!?" Sero screamed out, frankly shocked at how much calmer Z is being, which didn't seem possible.
"Alright, if I'll be honest, I'm a bit high right now." Z said, staring as his pen.
"Maybe you should stop smoking that pen..." Sero said, frankly concerned.
"It's for my stress and believe me, it's been a rough couple of days for me and I need to relax. Besides, I have a prescription for this." Z said, sitting up with a bored face.
Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill,
Izuku: They rent The Rocketeer.
"The what?" Nejire asked.
"An action movie. Nothing important." Z said, a blank stare in his eyes.
Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush,
Izuku: He humps a guy like me!
Ensemble: Right!
"WHAT!?! Everyone yelled at once again.
"It's not real, it's a joke." Z said, rubbing his face.
"What kind of sicko would find pedophilia funny in any shape or form!?" David asked, angered at anyone would find this funny.
"The same guy that made this world." Z said, rubbing his eyes.
All: But all we need is a bag of weed,
To keep us worry free.
One, Two, Three, HO!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed
Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
"While it isn't as harmful as those drugs, it still can't be healthy to obsess over it." Momo said, this world giving her, like the others, a headache.
Izuku: Have a go, Tenya!
Tenya: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool."
Izuku: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool."
A few hearts broke at the sight of their innocent Midoriya just trip a defenseless blind woman. On how it was so easy for him to just do it and not seem to show any remorse for it.
Tenya: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear.
All: HEY!
'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed
To make us wanna cheer!
"I still find it weird to just cheer for marijuana, and in such an open place." Nedzu said.
"It is a promotion to legalize marijuana in that state." Z said, resting his head on his palm.
"Who came up with that?!" Toru asked/yelled. Yeah there's a lot of screaming in this one isn't there.
"Him." Z said, pointing to Tenya, who went pale at that.
"If your patient, I'll explain at the end of the video." Z said, trying to keep his head up.
And One, Two!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
You can try and fight but we're all agreed
Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed
"I can't be that popular for a whole park of people to cheer for." Endeavor said, shaking his head.
"I mean, as long as they're responsible about it..." Mina wanted to defend.
"This whole thing is being planned by a dog and a baby, I doubt they know that what they're doing can have negative consequences." Shoto said, perplexed on how he's talking about this as casual conversation.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight,
And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
You're a happy guy but you can't proceed
Because everything is better with A Bag,
Of,
Weed!
Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!
"Oh thank God, it's over..." Midnight said, whipping her sweat riddled brow free of the accumulated sweat. As a hero, she's dealt with many crimes, some being drugs busts, and seeing 2 of her own student cheer for it is unsettling to say the least.
"OK, now can you explain why I'm responsible for all that!?" Tenya shouted with his hands slamming against the table.
"After getting busted with a small amount of pot while planning to bury a dead cat, you vowed to legalize the usage of marijuana in the place you live in. When you do get it, a rich man immediately buys your trust to make it illegal again just so you can have your book sell. It backfired as your book is terrible and you were humiliated throughout the town." Z said, taking a long hit from his pen.
...
"What?" Tsuyu asked.
"Try not to take is so seriously. This was meant to be a joke and not to be taken seriously because if you did, you'd only be inconveniencing yourself." Z said.
"Why'd you show us this? What purpose does this serve for us?" Blood King asked, lost.
"It was Zeik's idea..." Z said.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh.... that makes sense." The group, somehow, said at once, which understandably freaked them out.
"Say, where is Zeik? Wouldn't he enjoy something like this?" Kaminari asked.
"I already did!"
"GAH!!!!"
Everyone jumped in surprise to see the crazy man appear right next to the electric teen, who nearly had a heart attack.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP THAT!!!!" Kaminari yelled.
"Not as long as your God lets me do whatever I want!" Zeik yelled as he flipped over, right next to Z. Well, a few feet away from him, but was still right beside his best friend.
"How's it going man? You hitting that pen?" Zeik asked his friend, who just nodded as he took a long drag from the pen.
"Uh, Zeik, what's with the mask?" Kamui Woods said, referring to the fact that the crazy immortal wear a mask. It was a standard doctor's mask that was painted to look like a crazy smile of red, white, and yellow.
"Ah, don't worry about it. It's just a mandatory procedure these days back in my world. All I really need to do is wear this mask whenever I'm outside and near people and keep a minimum of 6ft away from people." Zeik explained with a 'grin'?
The audience looked at each other in confusion, not really sure what to make of that. But, they had other questions in mind aside from what he's going through.
"Alright, glossing over that, why'd you suggest that world just now!?" Aizawa asked, somewhat angered.
"Well, for starters, it's April 20th in my world!" Zeik said happily.
"Wait, you smoke!?" Inko asked, concerned if he did use drugs, especially since he had children over at his place before.
"Hell no! The only time I ever got near a joint was when it was offered to me during the 60s. And dear God that dude had great hair!" Zeik said, rubbing his hair.
"Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about that. You pay him back?" Z asked, now more interested while the others just sat and watched.
"Of course! Fun fact, I even set him up with his wife! Gotta say, never seen someone so happy, but also have so many people hate me for it." Zeik said, shaking his head from the overall nostalgia that ran through his head.
"Aw, that was nice of you. But why did so many people hate you for it?" Momo asked.
"The guy was part of a very popular band and some have argued that his wife wasn't good enough for him and that she's the reason he left the band. But hey, he was happy and that's all that mattered." Zeik said firmly. (*)
The group was surprised to hear him just openly state that he was happy to make a happy couple despite the hate he gets. He can get annoying at points, like earlier, but there were moments he showed signs of empathy and selflessness. It was nice to hear that instead of some of his more crazier stories or feats, which often have mixed reactions.
"While it was great seeing you guys, I have a full schedule of stuff to do." Zeik said as a portal opened up right behind him. With a swift move, he raised his arms up and began cheering loudly something the crowd couldn't understand.
"KOBE, KOBE, KOBE, KOBE, KOBE!!!!!!"
What was really surprising was that they could all hear people chanting the same word as him.
"Leave it to Zeik to leave on a high note. Anyway, this was short, sweet, and not to be taken as seriously as the other worlds. I'll be back soon enough with another world but until then, enjoy the game room." Z said with a shrug as he took another hit before vanishing.
A/N: Hey y'all, been a while huh? Sorry for taking so long but here's hoping that this small chapter makes this whole quarantine seem not as bad. See you soon!
(*) Beetles reference anyone?