"That's crazy talk," she replied, her voice cracking as her heart lodged in her throat.
"It's the first sane thing I've said in years."
They couldn't get married. That was crazy and her family would never forgive her if they weren't a part of her wedding, especially her mom. Did she even want to get married? That was a big commitment, especially when they were both broken people.
Struggling to get out from underneath him, she said, "Marriage is a big step."
"One that I'm ready to take with you."
"I think the heat is getting to you," she said, trying to joke around and get the topic back onto the lighter side.
He ground his aroused member against her. "If this is heat stroke, I'm all for it."
She swatted his shoulder. "You're insatiable."
"So whatcha gonna do about it?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"I could let you hand-le it," she said cheekily. Truth be told, she wouldn't mind watching for a change. He'd seen her fondling herself. He could return the favor.
"I'd much rather bury myself deep inside you, much more pleasurable."
Her insides warmed and her parts tingled at the thought. They had certainly been making use of their bodies over the last few days. She couldn't ever remember feeling so satisfied, yet unsatisfied at the same time. And just the thought of him taking her again made her smile. "I'm up for that."
"I think you mean, I'm up for that," he said, pressing against her again. "So, are you going to marry me or what?"
Tamara squeezed her eyes closed. She came so close to changing the topic and now he was right back to it again. "It's only been a few days, Logan."
"I already knew what I wanted when I came on board."
"Why now? What makes now the perfect time?"
"Maybe I'm tired of living without you and want to settle down."
She squeezed out from underneath him and grabbed the edge of the bed to help her stand up, and then sat on the edge.
Her eyes burned and a block had taken up residence in her throat. It always came back to the same thing. "How badly could you want me if it took you this long to come back?"
"Tamara, please, I thought you were married. What did you expect me to do? Come back and wreck your life? I couldn't do that, not to you."
"Don't you get it? My life was already wrecked. Do you want to know why I didn't get married?"
He remained silence, watching her with his bright, annoyingly caring, green eyes. His heart could be seen in his gaze, full of love and hope. And for some reason it annoyed her. Standing up, she had to put some distance between them.
"He refused to marry me after I yelled out your name during sex," she snapped. "That's when I realized that marrying anyone was pointless because I couldn't give them what you had already taken."
"What's that?"
Tamara wrapped her arms around herself, tears streaming down her cheeks. "My heart, you pig-headed doofus!"
"Oh," was his only response as a big grin spread across his face.
Her hands dropped to her side, her hands balling into fists. "And if you would have came back, you would have known that."
His smile faded and remorse filled his face, his shoulders slumping. He got down on one knee in front of her, taking her hand. "Tamara, I can't take back what I've done, and I sincerely apologize for not coming home earlier. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you, didn't look at your picture in my wallet. It's been with me day and night."
He let her hand go for a moment and pulled out his wallet, unfolding their favorite picture. The same one that she kept tucked in the edge of her mirror. They were on the beach, having just finished a dinner date. He was in the water, up to his knees and he was holding her in his arms. Behind them, the sky was lit up with an array of colors as the sun set over the horizon. A photographer happened to see them and snapped a few shops, asking if he could use their photo in his gallery. The man had emailed a copy to them.
"I still have this one, too," she whispered, her voice breaking.
'You've been with me always and now I want you with me in person, forever. Please say you'll marry me," he begged, taking her hand again.
Yes, her heart cried out, but her mouth said, "What about our jobs, our lives?"
"We can figure that all out as we go."
"You make it sound so simple."
"We're in love, how much simpler could things get?"
If only love solved every problem in the world, but it doesn't. "I want to say yes, Logan, really I do. But we have so much to figure out, so much to discuss, if we were to ever take that step."
"That stuff can all be figured out after. I just know I want to be with you."
Tamara sighed, her heart flip-flopping. A small strand of his blond hair slipped out from the rest of it, falling over his forehead and she ached to brush it back, but she was literally afraid to touch him herself. Once she did, she'd be yelling yes from the roof-top. Her resolve was quickly crumbling. This had been her life-long dream, one that she'd stuffed in the back of her mind and her heart. And the last thing she wanted to do was break her luck by accepting too quickly.
"I don't like unanswered questions, Logan. I need to know everything I'm walking into."
"If it matters to you, we'll move down to BC." He knew the moment he opened his mouth that he'd said the wrong thing.
Her eyes narrowed and she took a step back, her defenses on the rise again. "Who's we?"
He hung his head. She was quick to pick up on any little slip-up he made, very observant. The time had come to tell her the whole truth of why he'd been afraid to come home. Standing back up, he pulled out his wallet and then sat on the bed.
Taking out a photo of his baby girl, he handed it to her. "This is Chloe Tamara Dupon. My daughter."
She took it from him and looked at it. Anger and tenderness seemed to fleet through her features, as though she didn't know whether to be upset or relieved to finally know the truth. Tears steamrolled down her cheeks, one after another. When she opened her mouth, he had no idea what she'd say.
"You named her after m-me?" she cried, sobbing uncontrollably.
Okay, that wasn't exactly the response he'd been expecting. Was it nearing her time of the month because she was going to make his head fall off with all the emotional twisting. "If I couldn't be with you, I often tried to pretend that she was ours. I know she wasn't, but it made life a little more bearable when you weren't in it." Tamara threw herself in his arms, making them tumble back onto the bed. And he just held her tight as she cried, whispering sweet words in her ear. "I promise to love you forever."
"What am I going to do with you, Logan?" she said, looking up at him with watery eyes.
"Marry me."
"Yes!" she said quickly. "Yes."
Delighted and surprised, he swept her hair out of her face, kissing her. Now he wished he'd told her everything from the beginning. They'd already be married. "Then, let's do it here and now. They have a chapel." He'd rather do it right away than wait for her to change her mind again.
"Okay."
Climbing off the bed, Logan riffled through his bag, pulling out the ring he'd brought with him. He held out the box to her and she took it tentatively, her hand shaking. His were, too. He's never proposed to anyone before, not even Chloe's mom.
"What's this?" she asked.
"I bought this for you and had every intention of giving it to you the night of our grad."
Her teary eyes widened. "You kept it for this long?"
"In hopes that one day, we'd finally make that date down the aisle."
She slapped his shoulder. "We could have been married all this time? Damn you for making me wait this long."
"I was afraid you wouldn't want me or Chloe, but I'm tired of being afraid and wondering what if, so I came. I don't want to spend my life wondering what could have been."
"But what about your struggles? Are you ready to trust someone?"
"It's time to try," came his honest response. "I can't promise I'm going to be perfect, but I'll do my best to give you a life you deserve."
"I don't expect perfection. I'm not perfect either," she said, "I just need to know that you aren't going to disappear on me again and leave me hanging."
"That's understandable. Nothing is ever going to tear me away from you, unless it's something out of my control. And even then, I'll fight tooth and nail to get back to you."
Taking charge, she said, "Well then, put that ring on my finger, bucko, before I change my mind."
It was certainly going to be an interesting life with her dominant nature. It would come right up against his. But he wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. She meant everything to him. "So should we do it on the ship or elope in Aruba?"
"Aruba sounds good to me, but aren't we going to need witnesses?"
"Shit, you're right."
"Don't worry. I know a couple people we can bug."
"Oh, please don't let it be that Aquaman-looking guy."
"Do you have anyone else in mind?"
The last thing he wanted was a man who looked like he could take on a ship full of thugs at his wedding, oogling his girl while he slipped the ring on her finger. But left with no other choice, he groaned. "Fine."
She grinned. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a wee bit jealous."
"I'll show you who's jealous," he said, pushing her down on the bed, tickling her ribs. Tamara burst out laughing, struggling to get away, but he managed to snag both her hands in his and held them over her head. "Who's the man?"
She squealed with laughter, trying to twist away from his invading fingers. She pressed her lips closed, refusing to talk. Reaching lower, he reached for her secondary ticklish spot and it made her cry out loud. "Stop!"
"Who's the man?"
"You are. You are!"
Relinquishing her tender spot between her hip and her leg, he grinned at her. "That wasn't so hard was it?"
"You dick!" she said, pretending to snap at him with her teeth.
"You want my dick?" he asked, deliberately misunderstanding her. "That can be arranged."
Tamara shook her head, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Nope! We're going to behave until we're married tomorrow,"
She couldn't be serious? Could she? "Why? It's not like we haven't already."
"Well, if we're going to elope, we might as well keep things a little traditional. And that means no seeing the bride before the wedding."
"I don't think your interpretation is quite correct on that one."
"Take it or leave it, bud!"
Rolling onto his back, he moped. "Fine!"
Tamara laughed and patted his chest. "Don't worry. You'll survive!"
"Says who?" he replied, pouting. "Just till tomorrow right?"
"Yes."
That shouldn't be too hard. After tomorrow, they would be man and wife and she would be his for the taking whenever they had a moment to themselves. The joy of having her under his roof would be nothing short of incredible. He'd waited for this for so long and couldn't believe it was just about to happen.
With his dad in jail and the ring on her finger, there would be nothing to stand in his way. But he crossed his fingers just in case.
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A/N
I apologize if you find any mistakes. I'm not up to editing currently due to my car accident.
Thanks for reading.